What family means to us. Speaking of home, people always feel a kind of heartfelt warmth. Home is like a boat braving the wind and waves. Although it was rough, Qi Xin, a family, worked together to resist the wind and waves. So what does family mean to us?

What does family mean to us? 1 Home is a spiritual sustenance, and home is where parents are. The term "home" commonly used by anthropologists refers to the reproductive unit including parents and children. Sociologists describe it as the smallest cell in society, but in a broader cultural sense, it actually has richer connotations.

Home is the harbor of our body and mind, the support point of our life, and the greatest satisfaction and happiness of our life. Because our parents are here, we will feel more at ease and calm; Because of children, our life will be so colorful; Because with a partner, the road ahead is no longer lonely.

Home is the ultimate destination for us to settle down, the initial motivation for our struggle, and the strongest armor and the softest weakness in our lives. May you and I learn to cherish this seemingly ordinary but most precious happiness.

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The word home is sometimes a concrete existence, such as a certain place, a certain space; It may also be an abstract feeling, such as the companionship and support of family members. But no matter what carrier it exists in our life, everyone enjoys a stable and gentle emotion when describing it.

Home is the feeling to which the heart belongs. It is safety, it is relaxation, it is knowing that you will be accepted unconditionally-the so-called ideal place is my hometown. There is no shortage of hurt and pain in this world, and it is precisely because of this that home is kind and warm.

What does family mean to us? 2. Family is the smallest stage in the social grand theatre, and it is the place where we live every day. Family relationship is a dynamic connection between family members, which is closely related to the physical and mental health of each of us. Everyone's manners affect family relations, and family relations also shape everyone.

In the past 2020, the COVID-19 epidemic raged all over the world, and its impact on human society was all-round. As the cell of society, the family has also suffered a great impact from the epidemic. The epidemic is like a mirror, doubling the joys and sorrows of many families. Some people can finally get rid of busy work, accompany their loved ones wholeheartedly, be filial to their father and son, and have a virtuous young wife. For them, home is a love nest that can relax and rejuvenate after hard work, and a warm harbor full of understanding and support, which is enough to cope with the ups and downs of the outside world. For some people, family life is a trivial matter, complaining, quarreling and even turning against each other. Home is a suffocating cage, where they try their best to escape.

Why is this happening? What does family relationship mean to each of us?

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Hellinger, the founder of family system arrangement, once said to his patients, "I see not only you from you, but also the family behind you, such as your parents and grandparents ..." In my psychotherapy work, I can often see the influence of family on them from the descriptions of visitors. "Happy families are all the same, unhappy families are different", and unhealthy family relationships are common in the following situations:

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Between husband and wife: poor communication

The common situation is that, on the one hand, after a hard day's work, the husband comes home from work and wants to have a good rest and regain his energy; On the other side is the wife who takes care of all kinds of family affairs at home, expecting her husband to take over and relax after work. It is easy for two people who are physically and mentally exhausted to feel that the other person does not understand themselves. If you don't have good communication habits, clearly express your needs and support each other, in the long run, the contradiction between husband and wife will become deeper and deeper, and the family will always be in a state of tension.

In addition, when the views and attitudes of husband and wife on child rearing are inconsistent, there is no good communication and consultation, which is easy to cause behavioral problems of children. For example, the wife may think that children need careful care and clear guidance, and there are many disciplines and rules for children, while the husband thinks that children need to be stocked, and children can solve problems by themselves and break the rules set by their wives. In this case, children will feel very contradictory and may form some unsuitable behaviors, such as lying, rebelling against their parents and not listening to anyone at home.

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Parent-child relationship: lack of tolerance and recognition

Everyone's emotions and feelings are unique and need to be seen and recognized. This demand of children is even stronger. If parents don't learn how to correctly recognize their children's emotions and feelings, but deny or even directly ignore their children's pain, it will easily lead children to take more intense actions to attract their parents' attention.

The common clinical situation is that adolescent patients with depression will be in a bad mood for a while, eating badly, sleeping badly and failing in exams. When they tell their parents that they are in a bad state, some parents will say, "It's all your fault. If you spent the time you used to play mobile phone on your study, you would have passed the exam ",or" It's no big deal, it's just an exam. Learn more next time. " Because parents don't see and realize their children's pain or directly deny it, it's not surprising that children have the idea that "my parents don't understand me at all, and it's useless to tell them". They think I'm embarrassed. Only when I lose my temper, don't go to school and don't hurt myself will they pay attention to my feelings ... ".

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Intergenerational family members: caring for each other leads to excessive interference

Nowadays, many families are the parents of both husband and wife who take care of their children. A family often consists of three or even four generations. On the one hand, it gives great support to small families. On the other hand, there are many contradictions because of the inconsistency of ideas and living habits between generations. On the one hand, there are elderly people who care about their children's busy work and try their best to help them take care of their children. On the other hand, there are children who feel guilty that their parents can't enjoy their old age, but are dissatisfied with the way the elderly educate their children. In this case, it is very important to have enough mutual understanding and consideration, and everyone in the family needs to work hard to adapt to the way of living together.

All these reflect the troubles caused by the disharmony of family relations and affect our feelings in the family. This is not to blame family members. Maybe they have tried their best, because it is a complicated and difficult thing to develop and establish harmonious family relations.

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Nevertheless, we can still make changes and find a better family lifestyle. So, how can we maintain family relations and promote family harmony? Here are some ways.

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Spend more time.

Set aside some time for your family every day, such as dinner time. During this period, families can sit together and talk, share their experiences or ask daily trivia, such as "What did you do at school today?" "How is your new math teacher?"

In addition, it is necessary to set aside one-on-one chat time regularly to enhance feelings. Even five minutes before bed can promote their intimate relationship. Of course, couples also need some independent time and space for two people. If you can't go home during the Spring Festival epidemic this year, it is also recommended to take some time to make phone calls, videos and greet each other every day.

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Keep good communication with every member of the family.

When your child or partner wants to talk, respect their needs and pay attention to their opinions. Give them enough time to express themselves, especially when talking about their difficulties or troubles, be patient and calm, thank each other for their willingness to share with them, and don't make any accusations, arguments or judgments.

For those sensitive topics, such as sex, alcohol, drugs or economic problems, even if they are uncomfortable, they should be encouraged to discuss them and not to avoid them. Especially for young people who are not deeply involved in the world, only by fully and frankly communicating and establishing a trust relationship can we help them and make them feel that they can discuss any topic at home. These contents can often be solved through communication.

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Appreciate the uniqueness, talents and differences of each family member and accept imperfections.

A healthy family always cherishes the uniqueness of each member, everyone is different, acknowledges their own abilities and strengths, and at the same time accepts each other's imperfections to help each other improve and make progress together.

Especially for children, it is inevitable that children will make mistakes. When children make mistakes, parents should know that they didn't make mistakes on purpose, but there may be misunderstandings or their self-esteem may be hurt. Parents should take a frank way, ask the reasons, listen to the children's voices, understand the children's emotions at that time, understand the children's motives at that time, and give love and understanding. They can tell their children that what TA did was understandable under the circumstances at that time, and then take advantage of the appropriate opportunity to discuss with them whether there is any way to change it.

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Pay attention to current problems

A harmonious family is not without problems, but every time there is a problem, we can concentrate on solving it without contacting the previous problems.

Focusing only on the problem at hand at a time can avoid falling into unhappiness, which will immerse the family and stop them.

For example, my husband went out for dinner tonight and came home late. My wife wants him to go home early. So don't talk about coming home late, drinking too much and quarreling, but make a request about what happened tonight. It can be said that you didn't come home until after twelve o'clock today, and I was worried when you came home late. I hope you can come back soon. If you come back early and spend more time with me and my children, I will be relieved and happier. If interrupted by her husband during the communication, the wife should also focus on the current problem and avoid distraction.

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Try to establish an interesting family ceremony.

Try to establish family-specific activities to increase their sense of belonging. For example, insist on taking the elderly and children outdoors every weekend. In this process, every member of the family can participate in it, prepare for this activity together, work together as a team, and let each member contribute and recognize each other. Regular family gatherings, movie nights on Friday nights, driving around, baking together, writing letters to each other, exercising together, giving gifts to each other regularly, and "family boasting" regularly are all very interesting family ceremonies. You can certainly find such activities in your family.

If you try your best to adjust the family relationship, but the improvement is still unsatisfactory, you can seek the help of relevant professionals, such as couples and family counselors.

During the COVID-19 epidemic, we can maintain our family relationship through study and practice, let us support and comfort each other in the family, and let the family protect us through the difficulties. Each of us is an architect of family relations, and we can build our family into the place we expect: going out, home is the starting point of our happiness, and going home is the end point of our happiness.

What does family mean to us? How important is it to have a beautiful family?

First, having a beautiful family will make people feel safe.

Jeremy Tyler said: "Being married makes people feel more secure than being single. Although the life of two people may be uncomfortable, it does make people feel safer. "

I'm impressed.

People say they give themselves a sense of security, but they are not. The establishment of a sense of security has a great influence on the family from which we come. A child who grew up in a happy and warm family will have a very different sense of security from a child who grew up in an indifferent family.

I once saw a blogger telling her story like this on Zhihu. When she was a child, she never felt the warmth from her parents, especially her father. She is not so much a father as a father's name in her impression. Because her father is not at home almost every day, she is seldom thought of. Even when she goes home, she won't say too much to herself, and even her father doesn't care much about his grades. This once made her wonder if she was her father's own daughter.

Due to the lack of childhood affection, she is extremely insecure about her present marriage. She is particularly sensitive to her husband, afraid that he will dislike herself, so she is always worried about being swayed by considerations of gain and loss, and will call her husband if she doesn't see him for a while. Finally, her husband chose a divorce because he couldn't stand her worries.

This is actually influenced by the origin of bloggers. Because she doesn't have a beautiful family, she won't feel safe, and she will feel extremely insecure when she grows up.

On the contrary, my friend grew up in a loving family and now her marriage is very happy. Whether chatting or doing things, they always smile and have deep love in their eyes. I asked her enviously, "Why is your marriage so happy?" She smiled and said, "Actually, my parents are so loving. I am probably influenced by them! " "

A happy and beautiful family can subtly pass on love and beauty to children. If parents have a beautiful family, most children will feel safe, then they will have more opportunities to have a happy and beautiful family.

Second, with a beautiful family, there will be more love and generous power to support you.

Some people say that if a person has a beautiful family, then he can feel the best and happiest feeling in the world. And this feeling can make people feel happy and happy.

Marriage may put a heavy burden on you, but it will also support you with love and generosity.

My cousin once told me that when his business failed, his family owed hundreds of thousands of foreign debts. He considered divorcing his cousin because he didn't want to delay her. But when he told his sister-in-law, she scolded him severely. She said, "No matter how much money you owe, you will always be my husband in my heart. If you have no money, we can make a comeback. Since I can share joys and sorrows with you, I will share joys and sorrows with you! "

Cousin's words made my cousin feel ashamed and felt that the burden on his shoulders was heavier. Therefore, he just wants to work hard and strive for a happy life.

Later, through their cousin Qi Xin's concerted efforts, they not only paid off their debts, but also lived a well-off life.

The most important of these is naturally inseparable from my cousin's support and encouragement. It is precisely because my cousin supports my cousin with love and generosity that my cousin can have no worries and finally succeed.

Summary:

Having a beautiful family can not only make us feel more secure, but also have more love and generous strength to support ourselves when we encounter difficulties. So, if you already have a beautiful family, cherish it. I sincerely hope that everyone can have a beautiful family!