Baby: giant panda (5y 1 1m), sunflower (3y), culvert (7m).
At 7: 30, mommy and the boss get up, and the second and third children drink milk.
→ After waking up, kiss and feed the third child and let the third child sleep for a while.
→ Make the quilt bed after getting up, wake up the boss to brush his teeth, wash his face and change clothes to prepare breakfast.
Point: Let children learn to take care of themselves as soon as possible and be responsible for their own affairs.
At eight o'clock, dad gets up and the boss has breakfast.
After breakfast, the boss cleaned the dishes and wiped the table by himself.
There are 3 treasures x different age gaps at home, and full-time moms have skills! At 8: 30, dad sent the boss to school and went out to work, the second and third children brushed their teeth and washed their faces, and mommy and the second had breakfast.
→ Take the second child and the third child to see Dad and the boss go out.
Key points: ordinary small moves can deepen interaction.
→ Assist the second and third children to wash their faces and brush their teeth.
Key points: let the second child practice brushing his teeth and take care of himself as soon as possible.
→ The second child cleans the table after breakfast.
Point: Develop the habit of being responsible for your own affairs. Mom is not a servant.
10:00 to accompany the second and third children
Go out for a walk when the weather is good, and play games and read books at home when the weather is bad.
Point: Go out and communicate with children of the same age and cultivate social behavior.
→ Go to the market to purchase when necessary.
1 1:30 The second and third children take a nap, while Mommy prepares Chinese food and the third child prepares non-staple food.
→ The family is a high-demand baby. With the third child taking a nap, Mommy will calm down and sleep at the same time.
Key points: By developing the habit of working and sleeping, it is easier for children to enter the situation and less likely to disturb mommy's time.
When the children fall asleep, do housework quickly, and then you can have a short and quiet time alone. If the unfortunate child cries for his mother, he has to sleep with him again > <
13:00 The second and third children wake up, and the third child drinks milk.
13:30 grandma supports lunch and snacks, and mommy feeds the third child non-staple food.
→ The principle of parenting is easier to communicate with mothers.
→ One more person can do housework quickly or chat for a change of mood.
15:00 Prepare dinner materials and clean the kitchen.
About 5 ~ 8 people eat at home every day, so prepare in advance.
Point: Sometimes when things are done, I will take my second and third children for a walk to pick up the boss from school and prepare the materials for class.
16:30, the boss is dismissed, 10, the third one has a drink.
→ Listen to the boss talk about the school.
Point: It is inevitable that children only say good things and don't say bad things. Mommy needs to know more about them.
→ The boss packed his schoolbag and tableware, put them in the sink, and prepared himself to take a shower and change clothes.
Key points: train children to do what they should do before they can do what they want to do.
→ The boss reviews the contents of the school class before he can move freely.
Point: Although the study time is short, it accumulates every day, forms habits, and then adjusts with age.
There are 3 treasures x different age gaps at home, and full-time moms have skills! 17:00 dad will go out to work when he comes back from work to see the children.
18:00 Mommy prepares dinner and children play with toys.
In the afternoon, I found time to prepare materials, and dinner was cooked quickly.
→ Make good use of ovens and rice cookers to make cooking easier and handle multiple dishes at the same time.
→ The boss and the second have fun and interact.
Key points: the third child is more at ease with the company of the eldest child and the second child, or he can sit in the cart and watch mommy go in and out.
18:30 after work, the family enjoys dinner, reserves dinner for dad, and eats non-staple food for the third child.
→ The eldest brother and the second brother are not picky about dinner.
Point: Replacing TV with music at dinner time will not only distract you, but also relax you.
→ After dinner, the eldest brother and the second brother take their tableware and plates to the sink to soak in water and clean the eating place.
19:30 boss, get ready to brush your teeth and pee before going to bed.
→ Finally, check and confirm the articles and clothes for class the next day.
Key points: develop a responsible attitude towards your own affairs and bear the consequences!
At 20:00, the boss goes to bed, the second takes a shower and brushes his teeth, and the mother takes a shower.
Say good night to the boss and let him sleep.
Key points: develop a fixed schedule, go to bed early and get enough sleep, and have a good mental state and learning ability.
→ Assist the second child to practice taking a bath and brushing his teeth.
Key points: It helps to accumulate and develop self-care ability.
→ Give the third child a bath and brush his teeth.
At 20:30, the second and third children drink milk and sleep.
→ play with the second child and the third child for a while.
→ The second child feeds before going to bed and sleeps with him.
→ The third child is fed and sleeps.
Tidy up, wash dishes, wash clothes, hang clothes, collect clothes, sweep the floor and mop the floor at 22: 00.
Make good use of your husband, his wife is not the only one who has to take care of the family.
→ Never interfere in things that children can take care of themselves.
0 1:00 Dad comes home from work.
→ While dealing with the things at hand, chat with my father and discuss things all day.
→ Dad takes a bath after supper.
02:00 Dad goes to bed before Mom.
There are 3 treasures x different age gaps at home, and full-time moms have skills! Part2, parenting sharing Q 1, the age gap between the three children in the family is born? Any more plans?
Mother Yisi replied: The age gap between the eldest and the second is planned. It is not easy to take care of a premature baby whose eldest brother is 25+6 weeks old. It needs more patience and thinking than the average baby. I didn't plan to have a second child. But in order to let the eldest brother have a lifelong brotherhood, we can gradually satisfy the second child in all aspects of the eldest brother. The third child was not planned at all. It was a beautiful and surprising gift.
Q2。 From the child's point of view, there are three children at home. What's good for hands and feet?
The west mommy replied:
-eldest brother vs second child: the two boys are very energetic to play, not lonely at all, and can learn from each other.
—— Boss vs. Third Child: The boss faces the third child, realizes that he is a brother and takes the initiative to take care of the third child; The third child can learn from his brother.
-the second child VS the third child: the second child consciously becomes a younger brother and is also learning how to be a brother and take care of his sister; When the third child plays games, he can have more fun with his little brother.
Q3。 From the child's point of view, there are three children at home. What are the shortcomings of hands and feet?
The west mommy replied:
-boss vs. second child: the second child always learns from the boss, so he often grabs the items or toys that the boss is using, and the boss often comes to frame the second child, so he often needs mommy's mediation norms, and because the second child loves to learn from the boss, if the boss has biased behavior, the second child will also be affected.
-Boss vs Third: There is a big age gap between them, and they are relatively unaffected at present.
-second child vs. third child: second child and third child will be jealous of each other and both want to monopolize mommy.
Q4。 From mommy's point of view, what are the benefits of different ages of brothers and sisters?
The west mommy replied:
-eldest brother vs second child: the difference is 3 years old. Can the boss help take care of and lead the second child to play games? ; A lot of child care products can be used with clothes, which can save a lot of money.
-eldest brother vs third child: the difference is five years. Mommy can put more energy into taking care of mistress, and eldest can handle many things by herself.
-the second child vs. the third child: the difference is 2 years. Even if my little sister is still speaking baby language, she can have fun together.
There are 3 treasures x different age gaps at home, and full-time moms have skills! Q5。 From mommy's point of view, what bothers you about the age difference between brothers and sisters?
The west mommy replied:
-boss vs second child: Every time I teach the boss, it is hard for him to understand that he is not particularly strict with his younger brothers and sisters, but because he has grown up and has different learning stages. The second child is now in the stage where the boss has passed, and two people will compete for mommy's love at the same time. One should be coquetry and the other should be noisy.
Ze dad pushing:
Although every child has age differences, they all need the attention, recognition and care of their parents. As parents, we should give each child a special relationship, but don't let the boss feel that the appearance of a second child deprives parents of their company time. Otherwise, no matter being scolded or praised, as long as I feel mommy's eyes looking at me and paying attention to me, even if I am scolded, I feel that I am taken seriously again.
Mom often thinks, "I must get rid of all your things before I can have a good rest." So, when the two younger ones are asleep, but the older one is still awake, they will scold him ── "Close your eyes ~ go to sleep quickly! In fact, we should take this opportunity to spend 5 minutes or 10 minutes lying in bed with our boss and enjoying the attention alone. Only by paying proper attention to the boss, competing for favor and even deteriorating ability will be reduced.
-boss vs third child: Sometimes you really have to concentrate on being busy with the third child, so you have to delay the boss's needs first, for fear that the boss will feel neglected.
Ze dad pushing:
When the boss calls mom ── "Mom, can you come and see my painting? When the third child is crying at the same time, mommy's mood is easy to rise-can't you see I'm taking care of my sister? Why can't it wait! This kind of response will feel that the priority of the third child is more important than me in the boss's heart.
Mommy can put it another way-"I really want to see your paintings! But my sister is crying. After my sister is well, I will definitely go to see you and accompany you. At this time, the boss's feeling is that there is no difference in priorities after dealing with this matter and then dealing with the next one.
Mommy, don't say to the boss ── "Sister is still young, can you be more sensible? 」！ If parents blame the boss because of the third child, children will not resent their parents, but will blame the third child. Therefore, mommy should say, "When you were a child, you were like your sister. Mommy spent so much time taking care of you;" When your sister is older and as sensible as you are, Mommy will have more time to spend with you, so that the boss can understand slowly, instead of acting with her.
-the second child vs the third child: sometimes two people need mommy to appease them when they sleep, until they cry and want to stick to mommy, but sometimes they can't handle the needs of two people at the same time.
Ze dad pushing:
The best way to deal with it is to let the husband share it and let him take care of the second child first, because the second child doesn't necessarily need the mother's milk or the comfort of mommy's taste. It just wants someone to accompany him-pat him on the back and hug him to sleep together, so that the husband can take care of the second child and the mother can appease the third child, so that he won't be busy at both ends.
But if the husband is not at home, only mommy can play two games. It is suggested that mommy find a quick and calm method based on past experience. For example, if the third child can immediately stabilize his mood with breast milk, he should kiss and feed the second child with the other hand. If the second child can fall asleep with a pat, first appease the second child and solve a problem! Otherwise, it's no use telling children to go to bed quickly, and it's useless to stop arguing. It will only make them cry louder and more excited!
Q6。 When mommy is pregnant, what's the difference between an older child and a younger child?
The west mommy replied:
For older brothers, it seems more understandable that mommy can't hold him all the time when she is pregnant.
For the second child who is younger than my sister, I still want mommy to hold him as before.
Q7。 When mommy gives birth to a baby, what's the difference between an older child and a younger one?
The west mommy replied:
For the eldest brother who is older than his sister-in-law, he can better understand that mommy should take care of her sister-in-law first and can't hold him all the time.
For the second child who is younger than his sister, he still hopes that his mother will be cuddled as before. If he keeps hugging his sister, the second child will be jealous and take the third child's things for himself.
Ze dad pushing:
This is the truth that "it is a good thing to attract the attention of parents, whether it is good or bad". I believe that the second child once took the third child's things for himself, and even deliberately threw them about. At this time, mommy will focus on the second child, which is why the second child will always do this behavior-"because I am jealous! I tried to get mommy's attention, but mommy ignored me, so I did what mommy would scold me! 」
The second child is actually only 3 years old, and he is still in an important part of pursuing a sense of security. He wants to beg his mother for a hug. This is our nature. Don't stop begging just because your child grows up (but it's not that big, just bigger). Suppose mommy hugs her sister, and the second child says jealously, "I want mommy to hug you." At this time, Mommy can say, "Yes, Mommy really wants to hug you! Come on ~ give mom a hug! Mommy can sit or lie down, holding her sister in one hand and her penis in the other.
The second child won't be satisfied ─ "I don't want one hand, I want two hands! At this time, if you can't let go of your sister, you can say to your child, "Mommy wants to give you a good hug. Mommy will give you a big hug when your sister falls asleep. Let's tick. 」
If the second child is accepted, when the younger sister falls asleep and doesn't need a hug, Mommy will quickly find the second child-"Thank you for waiting, Mommy can concentrate on hugging you now. At this time, I quickly hugged the child and kissed him hard. In this way, the child will know that mommy can't hug him at the moment, but mommy will definitely care about me as long as she can. Usually children follow successful experiences, because they wait for praise and attention, so they don't do negative behaviors to get attention.
Q8。 What are the educational problems of children with big age differences at home?
The west mommy replied:
-Older children can't understand the different attitudes required by the staged learning content.
The west mommy replied:
-Younger children sometimes have to take care of their own learning projects, while older children are too enthusiastic to help them and lose the opportunity to learn.
Ze dad pushing:
First of all, Mommy should praise and encourage the boss's enthusiastic behavior-"Thank you for wanting to help your brother and sister so much. You are such a good brother! Next, let the boss know that this kind of behavior is great in the way of emotion and feeling, but mommy hopes you don't do it yet-I know you want to help, but mommy hopes my brother will try it himself, because he will be as great as you after doing it! "Therefore, the boss should be able to understand, rather than blame the boss ─ ─" you don't always interrupt! Would you stop being so enthusiastic? I feel that he has been scolded for doing good things, which makes the children feel very confused.
There are 3 treasures x different age gaps at home, and full-time moms have skills! Part 1, One-day tour of mother with vitality.
Mom: Phoebe (33 years old)
Baby: Judas (5y8m), Pang Rui (4y2m), Asan (1y2m)
At seven o'clock, the mother got up and the three children woke up.
→ The boss changes his clothes and prepares his schoolbag and meal bag; The second child needs his mother's help.
→ When the eldest and the second have breakfast, Mommy helps the third to change diapers, and then takes them to the mother-in-law's room to drink milk.
Mom usually cooks breakfast. Sometimes she can sleep for half an hour by buying bread the night before, and she becomes lazy.
At 8: 30, Mommy takes Big Brother and Second Child to school, Third Child gives them to Grandma first, and Mommy stops by the market to buy food.
Mommy will go to the market after seeing the children off and buy them by the way.
10: 00 Mommy has breakfast and the third one takes a nap.
At home, if the third child doesn't sleep, he will play with the third child while eating breakfast.
→ Usually after playing for half an hour, I will put it back to bed to sleep.
1 1: 00 Prepare the third child's non-staple food, dry the clothes and wash the dishes for Mommy.
→ When the third child sleeps, he prepares non-staple food, washes dishes and dries clothes.
12: 30 Mommy's free time
At this time, the third child is still sleeping. Mommy can slide her mobile phone, read books, listen to music or play the piano.
13: 30 The third child wakes up and feeds non-staple food and fruit.
→ The third child is full, and Mommy will play with him again.
/kloc-prepare dinner materials at 0/4: 30, and ask grandma to take my third child and mommy to pick up my brothers from school.
→ When Mommy prepares the materials, the third child plays at the kitchen door by himself, or goes back to bed to take a nap.
16: 30, Big Brother and Second Brother go home for snacks.
→ Buy bread, wheel cakes or cut fruits as snacks on the road.
Point: no snacks. Only when I relax occasionally will I give some potato chips.
Grandma will feed the third child snacks.
There are 3 treasures x different age gaps at home, and full-time moms have skills! 17: 00 The boss and Raul take a bath.
You can enjoy TV time after taking a shower.
The two brothers will also play with toys.
18: 00 Mommy cooks.
→ Because my in-laws are vegetarian, they will fry one more dish, and sometimes my brother-in-law and aunt will have dinner together.
The menu is almost two dishes, meat, seafood and soup.
19: 00 It's time for the boss and the second child to eat. Mommy goes out to take the third child home.
→ Grandma's shop is next to home, and the boss will take the second child to sit at the table and eat.
→ The third child goes home to take a bath first, and then feeds non-staple food.
→ While feeding the third child, talk to the boss about the school today.
At 20: 30, the children finished eating and played with toys. Mommy hurried to eat, clear the table and wash the dishes.
Grandparents will accompany their grandchildren and help take care of the third child when they get home.
Key points: Big Brother and Second Brother pack their toys before going to bed.
At 2 1: 20, the boss brushes his teeth to get ready for bed, and the third one drinks milk to get ready for bed.
→ The third child will play with his grandparents in grandpa's room first.
Point: the eldest brother and the second brother can't go to bed after 10 at the latest.
At 23: 00, mom takes a bath and gets ready for bed.
→ Slide the phone before going to bed to arrange tomorrow's itinerary and to-do list.
Point: Plan your trip the night before so that you won't be in a hurry the next day.
There are 3 treasures x different age gaps at home, and full-time moms have skills! The second part, parenting sharing.
Q 1。 Is the age gap between the three children in the family natural? Any more plans?
Mommy Phoebe replied: I was going to have two children, so the age difference came naturally; Later, I was pregnant with a third child. Although unexpected, I really want to gamble to see if it is my daughter. All right! Mommy may have been too sentimental and had too many lovers in her last life. I cried for half an hour on the roadside before I knew it was a boy! (haha)
Q2。 From the child's point of view, there are three children at home. What's good for hands and feet?
Phoebe's mother replied:
-boss vs second child: for the boss, there is one more playmate; For the second child, there are imitators besides playmates. Children learn quickly, whether they eat or go to the toilet, they can get started quickly.
-boss vs. third child: boss loves third child very much, and third child likes boss very much. He likes his brother to hug him and play with him.
-The second child VS the third child: Basically, in our family, the third child exists like a pet, and the second child is also the playmate of the third child. Sometimes the boss wants to play alone, and the second one plays with the third one.
Q3。 From the child's point of view, there are three children at home. What are the shortcomings of hands and feet?
Phoebe's mother replied:
—— Boss VS Second Child: Sometimes the boss wants to paint or play with toys quietly, but the second child always makes trouble, or the last assembled building blocks are destroyed by the second child; Sometimes if you want to sleep next to mommy, you have to learn something from your brother's penis and rob mommy to sleep next to you.
-eldest brother, second child vs third child: third child still needs to be taken care of. Sometimes the eldest brother and the second brother want to go out to run, but they may give up because they want to take the third one more (especially on rainy days); Or where you suddenly need any help, you will always have to wait because mommy is busy with the third child in hand, and sometimes you will be impatient.
Q4。 From mommy's point of view, what are the benefits of different ages of brothers and sisters?
Phoebe's mother replied:
-eldest brother VS second brother: the difference between them is only 1.5 years old. The second child can easily follow the old university, and there is no need to teach diapers and pacifiers since childhood; The two can play together, but they are also good at quarreling, especially when the second one is conscious, he is good at grabbing toys and even fighting, but the boss is harmless and usually chooses to give in, but the second one actually relies on his brother. Even if he fights, he will play together again in a few minutes.
-boss vs third child: the difference between them is 4.5 years old. Eldest brother and third son really don't need to worry about anything at all. The boss is over 5 years old and has good self-care ability. He has a lot of time to pay attention to the second child and take care of the third child! The boss will also take care of it, don't worry!
-The second child vs the third child: Because of the birth of the third child, the second child went to a small kindergarten class early (Mommy thinks it is best to start from the middle class). At that time, he also adapted to the whole semester, and sometimes he really felt that the second child was a little hard. However, with the growth of age, the third child has gradually grown up. Sometimes when the boss wants to play and doesn't want to help look after the third, the second brother helps to look after it!
There are 3 treasures x different age gaps at home, and full-time moms have skills! Q5。 From mommy's point of view, what bothers you about the age difference between brothers and sisters?
Phoebe's mother replied:
-eldest brother vs second child: because the gap between the two is very close, I used to rent a house outside and I took care of the children alone. When pregnant with a second child, the boss was too young to walk. It's hard to get a haircut or visit the night market! And I have to work with my children most of the time, and I have little time to sit down and catch my breath!
-eldest brother vs third child: eldest brother is a very gentle child and can share his possessions with his younger brothers very much. Even if the third child steals crayons while the boss is drawing, he won't be angry. Mom can let the boss and the third stay together completely at ease.
-the second child vs. the third child: the second child is a seemingly sensible age, has his own persistence, and sometimes it is difficult to communicate; Although he doesn't bully his third child at ordinary times, he will deliberately spoil his wife. For example, mommy needs to feed him the last few mouthfuls, and mommy needs to help him put on his shoes when he knows how to put on his shoes!
Ze dad pushing:
At this time, mommy must often say, "It's ok at school, why not at home!"! In fact, children can tell who they can rely on, but it is very normal for children to rely on their parents.
After the third child took charge, the second child fell. Mommy can find a win-win way between wanting her children to be independent and being spoiled. As long as the child can do these behaviors, it doesn't matter to feed him the last few mouthfuls and help him put on his shoes. Education is temporary and relationships are lifelong. It's very important for children to feel that their parents love them, and let them have something to rely on and be spoiled.
Q6。 When mommy is pregnant, what's the difference between an older child and a younger child?
Phoebe's mother replied:
-Small age gap: When I was pregnant with my second child, my boss was still very young, so it was really hard to take care of him. In the last month, I had to leave my boss with my grandmother in the south. A month apart is really something that makes me want to cry now!
-There is a big age gap: when I was pregnant with my third child, my eldest brother and my second child were already able to do many things by themselves, but at that time my mother was often unwell. Later, I took my children back to my in-laws' home. Although I don't need to do housework alone, the child will still find his mother when necessary, and the physical load is really heavy.
Q7。 When mommy gives birth to a baby, what's the difference between an older child and a younger one?
Mommy Phoebe replied: I have been training children since the first birth. I hope the babies can cooperate with adults' schedules! Because the third child has a fixed schedule and his personality is not too noisy, it is really rare for our family of three to quarrel together; In the morning, the boss and the second child go to school, which is reserved for the third child during the day and allocated to the boss and the second child in the afternoon. The time allocated to the three children is very even. However, as mommy grows older, she always feels that her physical strength is good enough!
Q8。 What are the educational problems of children with big age differences at home?
Mommy Phoebe replied: In education, different ages have different troubles. At home, disputes are settled almost every half hour. Whoever grabs the toy will push first. In the case that I didn't see it, no one is right or wrong, let the children solve it themselves; Occasionally I will talk about it when I am present, and occasionally there will be punishment. However, I hardly hit my child. It is more effective to restrict the child's freedom than to hit him!
Ze dad pushing:
In the face of sibling disputes, there must be a principle of "no quarrel between children", and the general direction is "don't be the judge and referee of children in everything". Brothers and sisters must let their children find their own communication modes and ways. How to get along and how to distribute it is a child's business.
Another key point is to give advice and guidance according to age and tell children what else to do, such as the most common situation of grabbing toys. Besides robbing other people's toys, there are other ways ── asking, taking turns and exchanging; What can the robbed person do besides looking for mommy? Tell each other: "this is mine, please give it back to me;" You must give it back to me, because I am playing. If you want to play, I can lend it to you when I'm finished ... "These are all ways.
But if something happens, we must intervene in time: (1) The child is emotional, obviously angry and unhappy, so we should start work; (2) When hitting people and verbal attacks, parents only stop their children from swearing and hitting people. Parents only need to teach their children how to deal with the quarrel just now, but that's what the children deal with themselves.
Only by encouraging the eldest and the second to find their own communication modes and ways to get along with each other can mommy concentrate on taking care of the third, instead of letting mommy handle everything and become a tool to be bossed around.
Schools also have different situations to solve; Eldest brother is very adapted to the group life in kindergarten, but the second child is still in the groping stage, and it is sometimes difficult to get along with classmates of the same age-how to teach children to protect themselves, whether mommy should make moves or how to respond to teachers are all mommy's problems!
Ze dad pushing:
This is related to the last question. Usually, if you can't find ways to communicate with your brothers and sisters at home, you may not be able to solve and deal with interpersonal problems by yourself in kindergarten.
Kindergartens should not have intentional or malicious behavior. As long as things are not too serious, parents need to listen to their children's voices, because sometimes children just complain-"Oh, you did this at school, and that person still treats you like that!" " 」
If it is too frequent, you still need to pay attention. But parents only need to tell the teacher that there is such a situation to help pay attention. Only in kindergarten life, give children the opportunity to practice interpersonal relationships, let them try to get along, and then go to primary school to adapt to interpersonal relationships among peers. You can even rehearse with your children at home. Mommy pretends to be a classmate who grabs toys. What should children tell you to increase their courage to face bravely?
Wei (Zeba)
Present post: Lecturer in Parent Education.
Works: The faster the world is, the slower you talk to your children. Accompany your strength and let your children learn to love emotionally.
Experience: columnist of parent-child world (YEATION blogger), special lecturer of parent-child lectures in major schools, companies and foundations.