When I get rich, I will send people I hate to the best mental hospital.
3, China's good voice, in the eyes of primary school students, is the best bell for class.
4, don't discharge at me, my daughter-in-law has a caller ID.
Don't always be hot and cold to me, in that case I'm afraid of catching a cold.
6, please be old, don't hold me with inferior thread in the future, it will be broken every three to five.
7. Being beautiful is annoying. If I were a boy, I would marry myself.
8, a woman's chest is not called flat chest, it is called gorgeous parallel lines, understand?
9. From elementary school to university, the only constant is a heart that doesn't want to learn.
10, I won't watch you jump into the fire pit, I will close my eyes.
1 1, I don't know much about music, so sometimes it's unreliable and sometimes it's out of tune.
12. What is money? This is something I don't have.
13, if there is an afterlife, I want to make a quilt, either lying in bed or sunbathing!
14 When it thunders, stand under the big tree and say to God, I want to pass, too.
15, women are afraid of perverts, but perverts are afraid of me.
16, everyone was sexy when he was a child, and he didn't want to wear shorts.
17, my god! If you can't make me thin, then make my friend fat!
18, I'm not afraid to drink dichlorvos, but I'm afraid there will be surprises when I open the lid. Who should I share an extra bottle with?
19, things used by celebrities are called cultural relics, and things used by mortals are called waste.
20. We are cucurbits in the countryside, and you are Altman in the city.
2 1, when others praise me, I worry, I worry that others don't praise me enough.
The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I rolled my eyes with them.
23. Why does God always doze off when I am unlucky?
As an animal, only animals in this world can beat me.
You are not an idiot, but why do you pretend to be an idiot?
26. A letter is a letter. Don't believe it or not. You still have wechat.
27. Because I am not an ordinary person, I have never spoken Mandarin.
28. I never told you my true identity. Actually, I'm Snow White.
29. You should also learn from Tencent and call me dear every time you go online. .
30. In the next life, I must be your heart, so if I don't jump, you will die.
3 1. Tell my friend that I want to fart, and my friend says, hold it and burp.
32. What are the bad guys, men who take off their pants during the day and women who don't take off their makeup at night?
33. Sometimes, I dream that I am full.
34. Every woman has one of the most common mistakes, and that is capriciousness.
35. I am really grateful to those who have hit me and let me learn to hit others.
35 funny quotations in one sentence _ funny sentences
1, I'm not your little raccoon. It's fun without you.
It is forbidden to urinate here, and tools will be confiscated.
You don't have to pee to know what you look like.
4. Cough! Say what you should, and whisper what you shouldn't.
5, the peacock desperately opened the screen, but showed his ass!
6. Calculate the salary increase and then calculate the pork, and you will find that you are not even as good as a pig!
7. I suggest that everyone should know my appearance first, and appreciate it second.
8. Don't shock the world with coquettish, but touch the world with lewdness.
9. If you look in the mirror and pay taxes, I'm afraid some women will go bankrupt.
10, when is the time to hug each other, Yang is watching.
1 1, you are the best example of abortion failure!
12, milk is not necessarily mom, money must be grandpa!
13, when I said I couldn't afford to get hurt, it was the day your house caught fire.
14, in the current weather, instant noodles can be directly soaked in tap water.
15, dare to admit mistakes and resolutely do not change.
16, the soil is used for digging, and the pit is used for burying you.
17 actually, I am very curtilage, it's just a matter of whose house I live in.
18, loving you at the same time is the beginning of my challenge to moths.
19, there are some things that don't need to be wrangled, seemingly obeying and secretly resisting.
20. the first part: maybe it seems to be approximate; Bottom line: However, it is not impossible.
2 1, an instant hit, this idiom actually describes ancient and modern female artists!
22. Life is too short to be sexy.
23. Most people want to transform the world, and few people want to transform themselves.
24. As long as the hoe jumps well, is there a corner that cannot be dug down?
25, money is not a problem, the problem is no money!
26. Let others smell your fart!
27. Since ancient times, there have been no charming mothers on the Internet. There are several pairs of mandarin ducks and perverted pheasants.
28. Be a rogue with temperament, a pervert with taste, and an illiterate with knowledge!
29, Yuanyang playing in the water, all fucking drowned; Fly with me, you fucking fell dead!
30, big head, thick neck, stupid action like a pig!
3 1, the little loli who has been for many years has become Sister Xianglin.
32. Some people say that if you have a child, you won't have dysmenorrhea. Have one!
Nonsense is the first sentence in interpersonal relationship.
34. If you don't eat what's in the bowl, just eat more in the pot.
35. From heaven to hell, I was just passing by.
In a word, 35 funny quotations with super personality
1. Although I am not very handsome, when I was a child, someone praised my left nostril as an idol.
2. Don't think you are a gourd doll.
Either you love me or you leave me. Don't bother me.
4. I can't find it anywhere. I'm still lamenting the waist. Idle hate, a suit of fat.
5. It doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.
6, talking about love is too tired, it is better to have a reunion, breaking up a pair is a pair.
7. All beings are hungry. I see it in my eyes and it hurts on the egg.
8. There are no white pies in the sky, only white bricks.
9. When I live to this age, the only thing I can put down is chopsticks.
10, four evils in the new era: Toyota chassis, developer property, stock market, ex-boyfriend's hard drive.
1 1, having a "gang" at home is better than a wealthy businessman.
12, if life is a one-way ticket, I will kill it!
13, brother is not Baidu, don't ask me everything!
14, I am not wrong, but I have never been right!
15, in the workplace, you should be like Conan, with a domineering attitude that makes others die wherever you go.
16. The day after tomorrow, we will know about tomorrow.
17, give me a fulcrum and I can pry your girlfriend away.
18, it's all boiled water. What do you pack?
19. Now many men have become pure ladies, and many women have become pure ladies.
20. Come on, let me give you a piece of your favorite swan meat.
2 1, I have lived for more than 20 years and have never done anything for my country and people. Every time I think about it, my heart aches.
22, my principle is that people don't commit me, I don't commit crimes; If someone attacks me, I will be angry.
23, the head with shell also combed a lightning strike.
24, it is said that the corner meets love, TMD, I was not careful, I didn't reach the corner, and I was hit by a car when I turned the corner!
25, the real dinosaur, turn off the light will shine.
26. There is an animal that looks like a human.
27, can't catch the tail of youth, can only smell the P of youth.
28. I wanted to eat my sadness in one bite, but I became fat in one bite.
29. What age is it? There is no sense of hooliganism at all.
30. If I say one more word to you, I'll feel like a John.
3 1, I'd rather be fat and delicate than thin.
32. Take courage to lower your head and raise your head confidently.
33. Your affectionate thighs block all my paths!
34. Men hate people who seduce their wives, especially those who give up halfway.
35. A gentleman bears a grudge and never reports it for ten years.
In a word, 35 classic funny quotations _ If you are fat, you will get nothing.
1. I want to buy things when I'm angry. When I buy things, I have to spend money. When I spend money, my money becomes less. I get angry when I have little money.
Life is like a pressure cooker. I know myself well when I'm under too much pressure.
The Smurfs sang to Avatar: When I grow up, I will be you.
4. As long as you are thin, everything is omnipotent. If you are fat, nothing is useful.
5. Men are strong-willed and women are confused.
6. The most valuable thing for people is to know how much they weigh. Why don't you try to stand on the big scale? That weight doesn't move at all.
7, others laugh at me for being too slutty, and I laugh at others for not being open.
8. Big sister is a civilized person, and all the dirty words have been disinfected with saliva.
9. If people don't be mean, I won't be mean. If people are mean, I will be even more mean. ...
10, went to ask for a Buddha's bead in the afternoon. The young monk told me that the abbot had gone to purchase goods.
1 1, forcing death is only an instant, shameless that is eternal!
12, some people, death doesn't matter to me. Some people, I can't let go of them.
13, you said that ice was sleeping water, I only remember that fart was a breath of shit.
14, you stubbornly turned a Audrey Hepburn into a princesa.
15, the success of a person's life depends entirely on the memorial service.
16, I fell in love with you at first sight, and I was awake at the second sight.
17, I saw a penny on the side of the road and was about to bend down to pick it up. It turned out to be phlegm, damn it ... who vomited so round.
18, the so-called difference in values is: given a candle, some people will feel that a cake is missing, and some people will feel that they are missing a whip.
19, the so-called perfect marriage is: the man is finished and the woman is beautiful.
20. Women's universities have changed eighteen times and become more and more casual.
2 1, whoever delays me for a while, I will let him regret it for the rest of his life.
22. If my life were a movie, you would be a pop-up advertisement.
23, the head with shell also combed a lightning strike.
24. If I can forgive your vulgarity, can you forgive my hypocrisy?
25. Three childhood idols: Lei Feng, Zhang Haidi and Zhang Ga. Reddy Gaga for short.
26. Life is like poop, and we are intoxicated with it like dung beetles.
27. I swear to cut off my hand when I go online again. I found myself a thousand-handed Guanyin.
28. Raise your head 45 degrees just to keep your nose from staying, and lower your head 45 degrees just to wipe your nose from being seen.
The first guy who knows that milk can be drunk, what did you do to the cow?
30. Some people make masks that look much better than real people.
3 1, the farthest distance in the world is from Monday to Friday.
32, Wen Hui! Wenhui! Listen! I'm peeing.
33. If I die, my first sentence is: I don't have to be afraid of ghosts at last.
34. Time and marriage will make a man mature, but time is slow and marriage is quick to fry.
35. I drown my sorrows in wine, but I learned to swim in this damn pain.