To say what kind of wife a man is most afraid of marrying, the first thing to do is to help his brother. Because of the close relationship between brother and sister, women will not feel any psychological pressure when helping their brother, and even if they get married, they will regard their brother's request as their own family matter, regardless of internal or external differences.
Men have no impression of "helping their younger brother" before marriage, because the concept of "home" is missing. No matter how much a woman helps her younger brother, it is a woman's own business and cannot rise to the level of marriage. But after marriage, women may think that helping their younger brother is no different from that before marriage, but men don't think so. They will think that what women do is selfish and thankless.
No matter what two people do before marriage, the other party will not interfere much, but after marriage, they will become a whole, and they must ask each other's advice for everything. Therefore, women think that nothing will become a man's disrespect in his eyes, and the outflow of material will cause unnecessary harm to the family.
But don't forget, it takes two hands to complete. The essential factor for a woman to become a brother-in-law is that her brother keeps asking her sister for help, and her sister can't refuse help. Therefore, whether a woman will become a brother-in-law depends entirely on her brother's choice. If her brother doesn't help her sister after marriage, then her sister can't be a brother-in-law even if she wants to.
However, there are still too few sensible younger brothers, especially the habit of constantly asking for younger sisters. If the younger brother develops this habit, he will no longer think of his younger sister, especially after the younger brother has tasted the sweetness and the younger sister has no regrets, it is easier to look down on his younger sister from the bottom of his heart and think that everything is right, thus becoming blind and arrogant.
Even if a woman knows that helping her brother will make him form a bad habit, she can't easily get rid of it under the pressure of all sides, no matter how hard it is. The most stressful thing is the woman's parents, and the concept of son preference will not change easily. If there are two brothers and sisters in the family, then parents will earnestly warn the woman that she must help her younger brother. After all, my brother is the closest person to the woman except my parents.
Blood is thicker than water, and the filial piety that reassures parents will become two shackles imposed on women. If they are forced to get rid of it, they will certainly hurt themselves to pieces. This is why women know that they are called "helping their brother", but they never change their original intention. Women don't want to change, but dare not change unless their hearts die.
Reader Wang Rui criticized his wife. Before getting married, Wang Rui thought his wife was a filial and gentle woman, but after returning home, she found that her wife had another unknown problem, that is, doting on her brother-in-law. Wang Rui was very impressed by her brother-in-law, and she was overbearing. Wang Rui's thoughtless brother-in-law completely dismissed the idea of making friends.
At first, Wang Rui saw that his wife often gave things from home to his younger brother, but she didn't stop him for the first time. Like many men's initial thoughts, she thought it was just a deep affection between brother and sister, and the property sent would not cause too much loss to the family. Wang Rui simply ignored it and ignored it.
Wang Rui's wife doesn't care about her behavior. After all, helping my brother has become a habit and will not be bound by marriage. But Wang Rui found that with the establishment of the family, her savings gradually increased, and her wife became more generous to her brother, giving her four-digit money at will.
Seeing this, Wang Rui can no longer ignore it. Nobody's money comes from the wind, not to mention his family is not that rich. Therefore, for the first time after marriage, Wang Rui officially talked to his wife about how much loss she would bring to the family by frequently helping her younger brother, and the contradiction between husband and wife also happened for the first time.
Wang Rui said to his wife, "We don't have that money at home, so don't give it to your brother in the future. Besides, your brother is getting married soon. Aren't you ashamed of him? " Don't forget, you are married, you can't be as casual as before, at least think about your family? "
After Wang Ruigang finished speaking, his wife said unconvinced, "I am such a brother. Who is he if I don't help? " Don't say that he is getting married soon. Even if he is married, as long as he asks me for money, I have no reason not to give it. What else would my family think of me? I don't want to be a baiwenhang. By the way, speaking of getting married, how much gift money will our family prepare in the future? I'm embarrassed to take it out without 50 thousand. "
Wang Ruiben wanted to end this conversation. He knew from his wife's words that he could not change her behavior easily. But as for her saying that the bride price should not be less than 50,000, Wang Rui didn't think much: "How can you get 50,000 when someone else has 35,000? Your brother is your brother, and others are not brothers? I'm telling you, 50 thousand didn't. I was in a hurry and didn't give it. "
Wang Rui's wife didn't expect her husband to have such a big reaction, but for her, this is the most basic principle. Although she knows that the bride price of 50,000 yuan is a bit excessive, she is not prepared to give in. "I said 50 thousand is 50 thousand. If you don't give it, then you can take out my wedding money and pay it back as if it never happened. "
Wang Rui didn't expect his wife to be so unreasonable, so he simply stopped answering and left home panting. At this point, the couple who looked up but didn't look down on weekdays fell into a strange calm in their lives. Wang Rui thought that after his wife calmed down, he would know that his behavior was wrong, but he didn't expect her to be more unscrupulous.
It was not until he caught his wife quietly transferring money to himself with her mobile phone that Wang Ruicai ended the cold war between husband and wife and asked her why she used his mobile phone to transfer money privately and what she wanted to do. When Wang Rui's wife saw that she was discovered, she not only didn't feel guilty, but confidently said to her husband, "What do you care? I don't know if my wife has no money. Do you have me in your heart? "
When asked by his wife, Wang Rui was speechless. He can't figure it out. A wife who works independently has no money. Moreover, he will give his wife a red envelope when she is idle, and her wife is not a profligate woman. So, his wife won't be broke, but on second thought, he guessed something vaguely.
"Did you give your brother money again? Who are you? You only have your brother, not me and this family. Did you marry me just to give your brother more money to spend? " Wang Rui was out of breath and said such a thing without thinking, but Wang Rui's wife saw that her husband was really angry and embarrassed and didn't know what to say, but she also knew that she had done something wrong, so she said guiltily, "There is not much money. My brother is getting married recently. I know you can't give too much money, so help both inside and outside. It's not that I don't have this home in my heart, it's my brother who wants money.
Wang Rui was not angry with his wife for transferring money without his permission, but angry with her for being too partial to her younger brother, and he would not lose his relationship because of it, so he had to give up, but he still said to his wife with a sullen face, "Don't let me know next time, even if you can't refuse. Don't keep me in the dark. "
Since then, Wang Rui's wife has kept nothing from him. Whether her brother needs her sister's money when she gets married or she habitually asks her sister for money when she goes shopping, she tells Wang Rui in detail that Wang Rui's method of dealing with these things is very simple. Let his wife tell his brother that he has no money, just say that his brother-in-law said it.
Since Wang Rui did this, his relationship with his brother-in-law plummeted, but Wang Rui didn't care. For the sake of marriage and family stability, he doesn't mind being a villain. Besides, you can't be called a villain after doing such a thing. As a result, Wang Rui's family gradually settled down, but it also laid a curse.
Since ancient times, my brother has been married, and my sister must be a distinguished guest. At the wedding reception, my sister sat in the most distinguished position, but this established rule was ruthlessly broken by her brother-in-law Wang Rui on the wedding day. When Wang Rui and his wife attended the wedding reception, they didn't get the warmest hospitality from their parents, but were left out in the cold.
Mr. and Mrs. Wang Rui knew what they were thinking, so they had to find their seats awkwardly, sit down and prepare dinner, and go straight home after the ceremony. But just then, my brother-in-law saw his sister and brother-in-law sitting at the table belonging to the distinguished guests, coming towards Wang Rui with a sullen face, and said, "You two are sitting in the wrong position. You should sit there. " When you talk, you point to the simple table set up at the door.
Wang Rui was furious and asked her brother-in-law what this meant. Wang Rui's brother-in-law smiled and said, "Brother-in-law, what do I mean? You know, you are not a distinguished guest to me, so I have to wronged you. " Wang Rui saw that many people around him were focused on him, and gradually felt a little humiliated. He shook his hand and prepared to drive home. He didn't answer. At this time, his brother-in-law added, "Don't forget that I brought my sister."
Wang Rui turned to his brother-in-law and said, "It doesn't matter if you hate me, but she is your own sister." "I used to. She hasn't helped me since I needed help most. She is not my sister, and I don't have such a sister. " Wang Rui's brother-in-law said simply, with that, not only Wang Rui was dumbfounded, but even his wife looked at her brother in disbelief, and they stood at a loss on the spot.
Just when everyone was in a daze, Wang Rui's father-in-law appeared to break the deadlock. He jumped up and patted his son on the back of the head and said, "how can I raise a baiwenhang like you?" It is natural that your sister won't help you. Do you think your sister is just living her own life? " Do you think your sister was born to serve you? I'll beat you to death, you son of a bitch. Apologize to your sister and don't get married until you apologize. "
"There's no need, dad. My brother does not welcome us. Let's leave now. Let's get married. Don't let us affect our mood. " When Wang Rui's wife was talking, she quickly took out the prepared 1 10,000 gift from her carry-on bag and handed it to her brother. She said, "I don't think you can eat this wedding banquet, that's all. I don't hate you, that's all."
Say that finish, Wang Rui's wife looked at his brother embarrassed, gave a hand and pulled her husband to get on the bus and go home. Since then, Wang Rui's wife has never dealt with her brother except to go back to her family. She didn't know whether her behavior was right or wrong, but for the first time, she felt at ease and a little carefree.
It stands to reason that this strange thing should not happen between brother and sister, at least face should be taken care of. But what has happened, no one can change it. We can only learn some lessons and experiences from this kind of thing that no one wants to see. If Wang Rui's wife didn't "help her brother" day after day, she wouldn't have a love-hate relationship with her brother.
Things that are often easy to get will not be cherished, and only when they are lost will you know how precious things you don't care about. Wang Rui's younger brother took his sister's help for granted and thought it was a trivial matter. But after my sister refused to help my brother, my brother would be dissatisfied and resentful, but he didn't know that without her constant help, he wouldn't even be qualified for resentment and dissatisfaction.
Although Wang Rui's wife said that she was forced to get rid of her brother's bondage, she lost more. Maybe she will keep thinking for countless tossing and turning nights: "If I hadn't helped my brother, so many things wouldn't have happened." But time won't come back, there is absolutely no regret medicine in the world, and things have happened. If we want to change the status quo, we can only return the control over the evolution of things to time.
It's not that my sister can't help my brother, but before helping my brother, my sister should take a long-term view, don't let my brother develop the habit of constantly asking for things, and don't let my sister develop the habit of not being able to refuse. Only in this way can we maintain the most basic affection between the younger brothers, so that the younger brother will not talk easily and the elder sister will not "help the younger brother" easily, so that everyone will be happy and will not discuss their own right or wrong.
The most important thing in a person's life is a few people. Don't destroy each other's mutual affection because of the accumulation of some daily trifles. It is out of the question. Every relationship needs to be well maintained, whether it is love or affection. Feelings come and go quickly, be kind to your loved ones, and don't make things that you regret for a lifetime because of the repeated tolerance of the other party.