Author: Results
A: Student B: Clothing salesman (male) C: Cosmetic salesman (female)
D: the man who sells kitchen knives (male)
(Singing to the music) The weather is fine today. Wolf, please eat chicken. . . . .
B: (knocking at the door)
A: (opens the door) Please come in.
B: (pulls A aside and says mysteriously) Are you home alone, little friend? Hey, hey, you are rich!
Oh, yes, I feel dizzy!
B: (slowly pulls out a small vest from his bag) Come on, let me show you something good!
A: Hey, isn't it just a vest?
B: No! Don't! Don't! It's a vest from a distance, and it's also a vest from a close look. Actually, it's just a vest-
A: A waste of time!
B: However, this is not an ordinary vest. This is a series of bulletproof vests produced by Pierre Cardin, a world-famous brand.
A: Shit, it's too exaggerated! But what's the use of a poor student buying bulletproof vests?
B: Son, the world is not peaceful now! Maybe at any time, a smiling meat bomb will come at you, slowly, close to-boom! (Catch flies)-The whole world is clean! (A Chinese Odyssey)
Wow, that's terrible! I'm so scared! Listen, you scared my little heart to plop!
Look at you, little friend. I am bleeding. I'll give you the original price of 380 and the bargain price of 250!
A: What, 250, you grab it, don't buy it!
B: (scratching his head) Son, this is the most advanced bulletproof vest in the world. There are only 1 000 pieces in the world, such as bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, Putin and George W. Bush. Tell you the truth, the original price is 380, and you can give it to 180!
That's too expensive. My mother is not at home. I don't have that much money.
B: Kid, you don't understand this. I remember a foreign aunt said well: "Summer has come, can the next summer be far behind?" Tell you what, classmate, how about you buy this vest and I give you a high-grade silk stocking for free?
Oh, my God! What do I need socks for, or stockings? Oh, it still smells! (throwing it on the table)
B: You can use it to wipe your face and touch your nose.
A: Oh, this is the first time I've heard of it. How fresh!
B: (crying)
Hey-hey, what's wrong with you?
B: This little friend, to tell you the truth, I am old and young, and a large group of children at home are waiting for me to eat this food with their mouths open-wow-who can be worse than me! Have pity on me! Well, the cost price 150!
A: (Go up to comfort my tears) Uncle, don't be too sad. I want this vest! ! This is my piggy bank. You can bring the money in.
(Laughter) Yeah! It's done. Little friend, you are really a good man! (Counting money) Well, why is it only five dollars and twenty-three cents? You bring it quickly (grab your vest and walk away angrily)
A: Well, what's wrong? (Singing) I'm always too soft-hearted, too soft-hearted-(Music dubbing)
Captain: (sneaking onto the stage) What do you want from me? Just look at this outfit-ha ha, look at my outfit-for sale. Ok, stop talking, let's get to work and see how lucky we are today! (knocking at the door)
(Narrator) Who is it?
C: Children, do you need skin care products?
(Narrator) What, skin care products! Go, go, go and rest!
C: Why are you so fierce? Still a big man!
(knocking at the door)
A: Please come in!
C: (Approaching) Wow, this classmate is so earnest, hardworking and diligent; Ah, so handsome and stylish!
A: Stop! Sister, can I help you?
C: Wow, what a rough and magnetic voice! Hee hee, classmate, do you need skin care products?
A: Hi! What skin care products does a big man want?
C: You can't say that. What age is it now? Equality between men and women! Men should also know how to take care of themselves!
A: This is nowhere to be found! I mean, I don't need any skin care products!
C: This little friend, since I first saw you (snickering), I decided to kill you!
What did you say?/Sorry?
C: Oh-oh, I mean, a handsome guy like you must have a lot of MM fans!
A: (painful and helpless) Alas! To tell the truth, I-I don't have a girlfriend yet! Depressed!
C: Impossible! Then the girls around you are too blind and do not understand aesthetics! Look at this body plate, (A stands up, chest out) this muscle (pick up the dumbbell to exercise! ), this line (posing as a bodybuilder)-nothing can compare with that "Shi Teisinger"!
A: Schwarzenegger, big sister!
C: Yes, yes, it is the combination of Schwarzenegger and Stallone! But don't worry, it's my treat, as long as you use our high-end skin care products in Paris, England, and ensure that the girls who chase you line up!
A: What? Paris, England?
C: Isn't it? Oh, I remember, it's Paris, the capital of Iraq!
A: Dizzy! Hey, isn't this Dabao SOD honey?
C: (grabbing) What? Not even close. It's called Bauer SOD honey. Haven't you heard that advertisement?
What advertisement?
C: That's it. "Since I used Bauer SOD honey, my skin has improved, my appetite has improved, and it tastes good. You have a good eye for Bauer turf honey! "
Are you kidding me?
C: How could you be wrong? Because my brother and sister are predestined friends, you are 250!
A: Why is it 250 again? Dizzy!
C: it's too expensive! I'm telling you, I lost a lot of blood, too. You can pay 180! Our products can guarantee the quality and will never die! And buy one get one free, and give a free coupon to Queqiao matchmaking agency! (Give A a business card)
A: What? The five-star matchmaker of Queqiao matchmaking is known as one of the first love killers of boys-Ugly Sister Xiang!
C: Hee hee, sorry, these are all nicknames given to me! Our aim is to make every handsome guy like you have a home! Yes, handsome, you are cute and charming-
A: (giggle) Hey, hey, am I that good?
C: Certainly!
A: Sister, what a fate! Ok, I'll take it! This is my breakfast money. You can take it all.
C: handsome boy! Great, just one dollar and eighty cents is 180, not 1.8! ! ! Here, I'll take you there.
Hey, my breakfast! !
D: (kicking the door)
A: Who is it? Come on in! (Open the door)
D: (Look at each other and play the man as a self-improvement song! Mongolian wrestling) (takes out a kitchen knife) Brother, buy a kitchen knife!
A: (trembling) Wh-what?
Don't be afraid, brother. I kill pigs. I don't kill people! Buy a kitchen knife, brother!
What am I-a poor student, why buy a kitchen knife?
D: of course it works! This knife is not a pig-killing knife. Experts say that this is a high-tech, the world's number one weapon spectrum-that-gamma knife! What's the matter, brother? Buy one and go home to play!
A: What? Go home and play with a kitchen knife!
Why not? My knife has many uses!
What other uses does the kitchen knife have?
You don't understand! My knife can cut vegetables, meat, cucumbers and watermelons-by the way, he can also cut nails and pull double eyelids! The advertisement is well said: gamma knife, gamma knife, I choose, I like it!
Those are Anta sneakers!
D: It's all the same, brother. We hit it off as soon as we met. We look like brothers! For brother's sake, I'll take advantage of you. You gave this knife to 100!
A: Is this an unidentified robbery?
D: what? Rob, the word rob has never been used in my dictionary! Cut the crap and get the money!
A: I-I-(I can't put it down when I take out the piggy bank)
D: (grabbing it, panting, walking over and patting A on the shoulder) Brother, frankly, this knife is yours. You, brother, go! (below)
A: Alas! Mom, mom, why don't you go home?
E: (playing B on the stage)
B: (groaning) Oh! Why? Be gentle! Damn it!
E: (pushing the CD onto the stage) Hey, hey, you still want to run! Stop! Sample, new guy! @ @ @ @ @ Community security can't fix you if you don't believe it! Go, go to the police station!
Curtain call!