1, what is Barnum effect?

Barnum effect is a psychological phenomenon, which means that it is easy for people to believe that a general and single personality description accurately reflects their own characteristics. Even though this description is very empty, most people still think that this description of themselves is extremely accurate.

For example, in our life, when we see the blood type test of the zodiac, we will unconsciously make a psychological comparison, and think it is amazing, just myself! But can the date of birth and the constellation really determine a person's life? This is because each of us will firmly believe something in our hearts, and then try to find all kinds of evidence to support our views. Even if the evidence has nothing to do with what you believe.

Similarly, in intimate relationships, if Barnum effect can be effectively used, it is easy for Crush to quickly feel trust in you, thus offsetting the defensive psychology against you and realizing the icebreaking and warming of the relationship. How to apply this effect to intimate relationships?

2. Use an information point to cut into each other's hearts.

Therefore, in an intimate relationship, it is not easy to capture the defense of the other side simply by saying a few words or meeting. It is necessary for us to take the time to explore each other's characteristics and make him feel that you know him best. According to Barnum effect, we can draw the conclusion that most people may have unrealistic optimism about their personality and ability.

A good suitor will inspire the other person's consciousness and make the other person feel that he is constantly affirmed and encouraged when he is with you. He will feel positive energy bursting. It is rare for her to understand me so well. Why don't I come closer? Because Crush said that he felt that he didn't fit in and didn't understand him, the relationship couldn't progress. At the beginning of the pursuit, she was also entangled in various ways, but Crush was indifferent.

3, 56-point thrashing, deepen the relationship

A similar situation has happened before, but boys always say, "Nothing, don't worry, I can handle it. At ten o'clock in the evening, send a message to the boys: You must be under a lot of pressure after working so much overtime recently. I know that you are a very strong person in Leo. You will think a lot about others and do everything by yourself.

But I also know that no matter how strong a person looks, there will still be times when he is weak inside. When he is tired, he will have a good rest. You are so demanding of yourself that things will definitely develop in the direction you expect. Take care of yourself.

As soon as this passage came out, the boys who had been very cold took a 180 turn, and the "Barnum effect" played a role. Boys began to open their hearts, willing to communicate with fans, and broke the ice successfully! When the other person gradually relaxes his defense mechanism and starts to talk to you, all you need to do is to further attack his heart with his behavior.

It is precisely because of the good use of Barnum effect that Crush feels that his vulnerability is seen, so he becomes more willing to expose his true self in front of you.

4. Guide him to develop in the way you want.

At first, couples thought each other was the most perfect person in the world, but after a long time, when the filter disappeared, many problems naturally surfaced. Many couples have communication problems, one keeps complaining and accusing, and the other keeps repeating. In fact, no amount of noise can solve the essential problem.

Later, after being with boys, I often complain that occasionally the other person is not motivated, lazy, does not do housework, is not confident enough, and is a little not serious. But after each complaint, the other party did not change, but hated himself more and more.

When you have a headache about the sanitary condition at home, you can guide yourself like this: "You haven't had time to tidy up the house recently because you are tired, but I feel that you are a person who has high requirements for the home environment!" "When she feels that the other person is not confident and starts to shrink back, she can say: You know, I especially appreciate your independence and confidence. Your boyfriend with high emotional intelligence, I won't worry about our future!

Yes, when communicating with each other, you should lie with your eyes wide open, skillfully use positive language to turn each other's shortcomings into advantages, and repeat them in daily life until such views are deeply implanted in each other's brains. After a long time, the other party will be brainwashed by you to a certain extent, correct the shortcomings, and gradually become what you want.

5. About freshness

Feelings will be dull, and the novelty will of course disappear. Freshness can be re-established, but once the idea of giving up feelings breeds, it will always exist. Leaving won't solve the problem. If the feeling is dull after all, all we need to do is accept it. Then create a sense of freshness together, instead of being separated at will.

Feelings are mutual, and both parties in love should have their own principles and bottom lines, which is the premise of being respected. The so-called "establishing rules" is actually to show the bottom line of principle to the other party. In this way, we can grasp the discretion of each other and not accidentally hurt each other. So if you can't even do this, my advice is to love yourself and stop loss in time.