Classic funny quotations 1 1, nursing homes for women when they are young, supervision houses when they grow up, and shelters after marriage.
2, raw, easy. Live, relax. Life is not easy.
He who can betray others must be betrayed by others.
4. Why do you think the teacher wants to invite parents, a person who has never even educated minors, and wants to educate adults?
5. I want a stable score, can resist the cruelty of exams, and have a home among piles of top students.
6. disgusting. open the fucking door. disgusting er, disgusting
7. Ordinary life should be treated with a normal heart, and your life will be more exciting.
8. A good woman is a school, and a good man can stay and teach after graduation.
9. Don't challenge my personality with your temper, it will make you die rhythmically!
10, banana banana, called silly grandma, apple apple, called grandma, tomato, this is amazing, called stealing toilets.
1 1. A man wants to divorce his wife after making money, but he can't make money and his wife wants to divorce him.
12, I don't believe it. I only believe that a drop will last for three seconds and never part.
13, lend me 3 thousand, I can destroy the earth; Lend me three thousand beauties, and I can make another earth.
14, sometimes I get my head broken, whatever! Just be happy.
15, you are unlikely to know my age, because I change every year.
16, if one day you wear a wedding dress and become someone else's bride, I will tell him that you are the mother of my child.
17, I think White Snake is unwell because of snake sperm disease.
18, my life now can be described in six words: accumulate fat, not weight!
19, why are you fighting? Can't we just sit down and cut each other a few times calmly?
20, low-key does not mean that I have no light, kindness does not mean that I am weak.
2 1. From then on, there is no me in your world, and there is no you in my world. We run counter to each other and become strangers.
22, dry wood meets fire, that is called Ming Sao, wet wood meets fire, that is called man show.
23. You are too short! Let me borrow your telescope to see more clearly. Am I not handsome?
24. That's what my mother did. You are so stupid!
25. When you are proud, your friends know you; When you are in trouble, you make friends.
26. Don't torture yourself with past memories.
27. The forest is so big that I can't even find a hanged tree!
28. I looked at him sadly and said, "Can surgery be cured?
29. I laugh when someone says I'm ugly. You've never met my friend.
30. Inviting people to dinner is not a treat, it is anti-corruption.
3 1, I will come to you in my next life, because you are the stupidest except me.
Every time I think of the scene when we first met, I will be moved again.
Actually, I'm not fat, but I'm too lazy to be thin.
34. Innocence in cruelty and cuteness in bullying.
35. Time is for wandering, body is for loving, life is for forgetting, and soul is for singing.
36. Rogue is a kind of temperament, while old rogue is a kind of belief.
37. Russia didn't want to smoke either, so it lit unconsciously.
38. On Valentine's Day, I want to make a fish. You can stew, boil and steam it, and then lie in your tender stomach.
39. Since I was a child, I have a dream that everyone in China will give me a dollar!
40. I feel angry in class. I am afraid that I will hurt my classmates and teachers. You should let me take a vacation.
4 1, the pigsty in Rizhao is smoky, especially mom and the pig are partying, the pig worships three thousands of feet, and especially mom opens her mouth to swallow!
42. It is said that all the characters in Hyun Dance have good figures. I'm telling you, if you bounce around like this every day, you'll lose weight.
43. Behind every successful Altman, there is always a little monster who is beaten silently.
44. We must learn history well. What if we cross one day?
45. It's strange why I always say that Qingguo College is in front. I'll try. Poke here. Go to Qingguo College.
46. Fat, why are you always so attached to me?
47. Open your own shop and let others work.
48. Some people don't think about it in the morning and don't want to sleep at night!
49. Don't say goodbye, just say goodbye.
50. I will still keep that feeling, just to give my youth a regretless account at the end of my life.
5 1, the biggest difference between us is that you are afraid of being fat, but I am worried that you have eaten enough.
52, no one to protect me a soft girl, can only learn to be a woman!
Girl, don't be silly. The person who loves you the most in the world married your mother.
54. Smart people rely on strength in exams, while I generally rely on imagination in exams.
55. Take fewer photos, or your inferiority complex will come out.
56. There is no distance between points in the world, only the distance between hearts.
57. My mouth says, Oh, I am fat, but my mouth is full of snacks.
58. What age is it? There is no sense of hooliganism at all.
59. I am a fool, waiting for a madman who loves me very much.
Before I met you, I really didn't realize that I had a problem with judging people by their appearances.
Classic funny quotations 2 1. The difference between like and love: like is multiple, but love is unique.
In this world, we don't lack a friend to talk to, but we long for a partner who knows and understands ourselves.
Don't sit at home and complain that life consumes your dreams. Pickiness is not discovery, not creation! Pickiness will only make you look up to your ass forever.
The more you love the beauty within your power, the more greedy you are. Those who can't keep themselves will never leave their own style, let alone be independent.
Our souls have no nationality, and we only belong to one country with all the beautiful people and things in the world. You have the right.
6. Eat what others can't eat, endure the anger that others can't stand, and do what others can't do, and you can enjoy everything that others can't enjoy.
7. When you are tired, close the curtains, turn off the mobile phone, turn off the alarm clock, take a deep breath, get into bed and go to sleep. Hard times always require more energy. -Mr. Decca
8. Not all hobbies need to be useful. As long as this hobby brings you happiness. People always have to find something they like ... to make you different and interesting. -"Live your life the way you like"
9. When I feel unlucky, I will think: This is my bad luck. After that, the rest are lucky!
10. If there is a shadow in front of you, it is because there is sunshine behind you.
1 1. Not afraid of thousands of people blocking, I am afraid of surrendering myself.
12. Many thoughts come up every day, and the immortal is called a dream.
13. Don't cover your eyes for trifles, we still have a bigger world.
14. I don't care whether you like me or not. Because I don't live to please you!
15. People live to solve difficulties. This is the meaning of life and the content of life. Escape is not the way, but often the best way to solve the problem.
16. If you want to win, you must not be afraid of losing. Not afraid of losing, the result may not necessarily win. But if you are afraid of losing, the result must be losing.
17. Don't be paranoid about things you can't get, and don't be wishful thinking about people who don't belong to you. It is enough to live in the present and cherish what you have in front of you.
18. Don't travel, don't take risks, don't talk about an untried life, just hang up QQ, brush Weibo, visit Taobao, and do what you can do every year. What's the use of being young?
19. Bowing your head is an ability. It's not inferiority or cowardice. This is a sober change. Sometimes, if we lower our heads a little, or our life path will be more exciting.
Many times, unhappiness is not because the conditions for happiness are incomplete, but because life is not simple enough.
2 1. When you are in trouble, you are flustered, complaining with a bitter face, afraid to shirk things, making excuses, unclear logic, no feedback, no formality, no brain and no intention, and you will betray you. The sun is calm, optimistic, resistant to fighting, clear-headed, brave in dedication, able to withstand loneliness, not afraid of making mistakes, brave in making progress, and making a future that even surprises you.
If we want to change our life, the first step is to change our mentality. As long as we have the right attitude, our world will be bright.
It is easier to set a goal in life than to achieve it, but if you don't take action, you may not even achieve it.
24. There is only one kind of heroism in the world, and that is to love life after recognizing the truth of life.
25. Life is not Lin Daiyu, and there will be no various customs because of sadness.
26. Gratitude is the source of happiness. Know how to be grateful, and you will find everything around you is so beautiful.
27. There are many such miracles in life. Things that seem more difficult than going to heaven can sometimes be done easily. The difference lies in extraordinary beliefs.
28. Even in the face of the greatest misfortune in the world, the prerequisite for solving all difficulties is to be alive. Only alive, there is hope. No matter how painful and sad you are, as long as you can live hard, everything will be fine.
29. The real success in life lies not in the size of your achievements, but in whether you strive to realize yourself, shout out your own voice and make your own way.
30. There are two roads in life. One is to walk with your heart, which is called a dream. One who needs to walk with his feet is called reality.
3 1. Appropriate sadness can show the depth of feelings, and excessive sadness can prove the lack of wisdom. -Shakespeare
No matter how enthusiastic you are, you can't stand indifference, and no matter how much you love, you can't stand being left out. -Xu
When a person is completely out of step with you, even if everything you say is reasonable, he won't listen. And the more reasonable you say, the more he finds you annoying.
34. If it really isn't you in the end. After so many ups and downs, we have to part in the end. If the story is over, there are others around us. If memories, promises and determination to fall in love become insignificant in the face of reality. No matter what happens in the future, no matter how it ends. Now I still want persistent love.
35. "You have changed" is a very hurtful sentence. It hasn't changed, but that person has really changed since you said that.
36. Everyone has a blx. When I was a child, I was sad because others didn't give me gifts. Who cares now? Therefore, what cures blx is growth, knowledge, knowledge, suffering and self-cultivation, which can't be obtained again and again.
37. Don't feel sorry for small grievances. Life is destined to suffer a lot of grievances. The more successful a person is, the more grievances he suffers. If you want to get the extreme value of life, you should not care too much about grievances, and you should not let grievances control your emotions and interfere with your life. Learn to laugh it off, remain detached, forbear, forgive, and let yourself grow in tolerance.
38. The only woman you can't do anything about her in this life is your daughter. You deserve it. You want to buy her all the fun, good-looking and delicious food. When she cries, your heart will break. She laughs at you, and your heart turns into honey. If she eats something, the whole world will collapse. I owe you. Even if you are 80 years old, as long as you know that she has been bullied, you will still pick up a crutch and fight against the world for her.
39. Many times, we say we have put it down, but we have not really put it down. We just pretend to be happy, and then hide in a quiet corner and touch the scar alone.
40. Be such a woman: if her face is as deep as the heart of the sea, she is self-aware, sincere, kind, sensitive, persevering and independent. Insist on reading, writing, listening to songs, traveling, taking photos online, sometimes singing, dancing, cleaning, cooking and dating.
4 1. Your burden will be a gift, and your suffering will light your way.
42. I thought I hid you in such a deep, cold and ancient heart. I thought that as long as you don't say anything, as long as the days go on, you will eventually become an ancient secret. However, the sleepless night is still too long, and my early gray hair has leaked out. This is my sorrow. -Xi Murong
43. We always comfort others like wise men and torture ourselves like fools.
An important sign of maturity is not learning to "express", but learning to "swallow". Obviously, many times, I feel very wronged and want to explode. The fire is on my lips, but I smile helplessly. In fact, a lot of love in the world is doting. Another way of saying love is "forbearance". A person who has been forbearing you shows that he loves you. Judge the depth of love according to how long you have endured. -Su Qin
45. Time gradually took away the youth and frivolous, and gradually precipitated the self-knowledge of warmth and coldness.
46. Even if I choose in the world, my choice is still you.
47. The best friend is often someone who can help you in adversity and hurt you in prosperity.
48. Sometimes, I feel bad for no reason and don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to be alone. Sometimes in the dead of night, I suddenly feel that I can't sleep, but I stubbornly don't want to sleep. Sometimes, when you hear a song, you will suddenly think of someone. Sometimes, people suddenly say to you, I think you have changed, and then they start to have mixed feelings. Lost oneself can only be picked up slowly.
49. A man's greatest opponent is his own timidity.
50. When you are injured, you will feel pain; However, one day, you will thank those who have loved and hurt you. All this is training. Then you will grow up and be wise. After crying all night, you will thank all the people who have known each other, loved each other and hurt each other, but have never been together. They created you.