Who is Cai Yingqing? She is my superman, my goal and my study object. She is about the same age as my mother. She has raised two excellent daughters, run seven or eight restaurants and written more than a dozen bestsellers. She is extremely serious about her work and life and does everything herself. She is a model of balancing mother and career at the same time. After knowing this author, I almost read five books about motherhood written by her in one breath: Nurturing in the details of life 1: A dialogue between Hong Lan and Cai Yingqing, Love and wisdom, Nurturing in the details of life 2: Mom is the eternal teacher, my work is mom, and mom is the child's first teacher and work diary. Her works are plain and full of passion. In the first half of this year, I was busy with work, parenting and filial piety, and I was always exhausted and even on the verge of collapse. Her writing always gives me a calming power, showing me how well she handles her daughter's education and disputes in interpersonal relationships, especially her grateful attitude towards life, which makes these books like an oasis in the desert of the soul these days and makes me realize the difference. There is no shortcut to education, but education can be done silently. Turning the hardships and problems of raising children into valuable experiences in life, cherishing, being optimistic and being happy, I think this is the attitude that mothers should have in facing life.

Life education is also education.

What is life education? Is washing, cooking and managing life. It's easier said than done. In fact, these are just some basic life skills, and everyone has a certain degree of understanding. It's hard to say that cooking and eating well are not a concept, and providing yourself and your family with exquisite and high-quality life will not happen overnight. Most of our generation are indifferent to the sun, and few people will live and understand life after graduation from college. Learning is often the best excuse for children not to do housework. Although grades are very important, grades and studies are only a small part of life. Cai's mother's life education for children has given me great inspiration. In the book, she mentioned that "everyone needs a balanced life. You can't do other things for others just because you study hard. People who are not close to the trivial things of life will lose their feelings about life and will also damage their ability to experience happiness. " And "mom is not someone you rely on, but someone you don't have to rely on." Let me feel deeply. When teaching children to do housework, she mentioned that "to continue teaching housework in children's busy schoolwork and their own work requires a kind of relief and more persistence." With her help, it takes my daughter 20 minutes to cook rice, and her idea is "My daughter has the opportunity to learn and progress, and I have done my duty as a mother, and I have learned to re-examine the meaning of time to me in the tense pace of life." Giving children life education and guiding them to learn to do housework can not only accumulate life experience for their children, give them a balanced life, give them a sense of responsibility and take care of their families and give them happiness, but also be an indispensable part for mothers to learn to let go and children to move forward independently. Housework is not just for parents or mothers. In Cai's mother's home, everyone does his job. Even the big exam can't be an excuse to avoid housework, but it cultivates children's sense of responsibility for work and love for their families. In modern families, what I often see is mutual prevarication among family members about who does housework, perfunctory housework, and housework arranged by my mother. Qi Xin, a family member, manages family life together, but the happiness of caring for each other is much less, not to mention the chickens flying and dogs jumping in daily life after various mothers get married. I think, even if Ruyi is a boy, I will introduce him to broom, mop, vacuum cleaner, wok, steamer and pressure cooker, and teach him the ability to take care of his family and live a good life.

Example is more important than language.

Everyone knows to educate children by example, but it will inevitably be discounted. Compared with words, actions will inadvertently reveal your true thoughts. Parents are the ones who spend the longest time with their children. Even if they seek absorption in various parenting books, as long as they are not really internalized, there will always be inconsistencies, which will only bring troubles to children and even make them more rebellious. No one wants to be a "double dog" in front of children. No one wants to set up a collapse in front of their children. The key is to really change their behavior and want their children to become like that. Use your own words and deeds to influence children, use your own practices as an example to educate children, lead children with daily chores, and believe in subtle power. In her book, Mother Cai mentioned that when her eldest daughter transferred from Thailand International School to Taiwan Province Province with the change of her parents' work, she was faced with the problem of the connection between two education systems with completely different educational concepts, and her eldest daughter with strong nature was also trying to stay up late to adapt. Cai Yingqing's approach is, "Every night, no matter how sleepy she is, after sending the book flag to bed, I will accompany Qi Le to study on the big table, and I will not put down my work until she closes the book and decides to sleep." Although I can't help her with her lessons, on a night like this, mother and daughter have their own intimacy and pleasure in reading, at least the children under the lamp are not alone. We usually sit face to face, each with a book and a computer, and bury ourselves in our own tasks. When we want to talk, we can see a safe partner as soon as we look up, and we feel very practical. "I envy and yearn for this picture of mother and daughter reading. Looking back on my parents, although they would stay up with me when I was studying, prepare supper for me and urge me to go to bed early, when I was young, I was immersed in my study while watching them play mahjong and watch TV, and I was not dissatisfied. After having children, my thinking about parent-child relationship has deepened. In the past, I only saw the advantages and disadvantages of myself and my husband, but now I can often find the sources of these advantages and disadvantages from the observation and thinking of two or three generations. It's really scary to think about it. Now, I just hope that I can try my best to be a good example for my children, be a parent that my children admire, set an example, meet a better self with my children and create a better life. Raise children and succeed by the way.

In the education of children, I am always anxious and afraid. Therefore, for me, the deepest love for my child may be to lift the weight lightly in front of the child, silently infiltrate the character I hope him to develop into his life, be the guide of the child's life, accompany him from shallow to deep, gradually understand this bittersweet world, experience the ups and downs of life, and finally send him flying high.