be engaged in
In the past, engagement was about matching the right family. Both men and women don't meet because of the matchmaker's words and parents' orders. Usually the man asks the matchmaker to find a suitable woman and ask her birthday. If the man gets married, the bill of lading and a bottle of wine will go to the woman's house as a matchmaker. If the woman agrees, open a bottle to drink; If not, she will return the wine without opening the bottle. In some places, the woman will entertain a long meal if she agrees, otherwise she will not agree. Once you agree to get married, choose an auspicious day to get engaged. When engaged, the matchmaker leads the suitor to the woman's house with pairs of clothes or cloth, snacks and even a few bottles of wine (two bottles of wine tied together). The woman's family invited the closest relatives to entertain her warmly, and even got engaged after drinking a bottle of wine. When the man goes back, the empty wine bottle in the woman's house is full of food, so that the man can take it back. Now it has gradually evolved from an introducer to an "approach bridge". Men and women meet, get to know each other, hit it off, and hold an engagement ceremony on the scheduled date. Commonly known as "mentioning" or "making gifts".
Cai Xia
After the engagement, the man can go to the woman's house on holidays or at ordinary times. Bring a small gift every time you go. Give a bride price one year or several months before marriage, commonly known as "drinking." Men prepare clothes, gifts, wine, meat, etc. And invite references to the woman's house. The woman's banquet is more abundant than when she is engaged. The bride price depends on the family situation of both parties. Generally, it was between 80-240 yuan in 1950s and 400- 1000 yuan in 1970s. Now it has risen to 5,000-8,000 yuan, with cities higher than rural areas and rivers higher than mountainous areas.
marry
The wedding will be held according to the date chosen by both parties on their birthdays. The male custom is to "marry a wife". The woman's family is commonly known as "married woman", and the wedding day is called "makeup urging". Congratulations to the relatives and friends of the woman's family, commonly known as "adding boxes", and sending more jewelry, clothes, utensils, money and so on.
The woman's banquet is relatively simple, so she chooses some relatives to accompany her to the man's house, which is called "West Guest". A girl's dowry varies from family to family, usually a pair of boxes, blankets, clothes, shoes and socks, toiletries, etc.
A pair of bowls, such as color TV sets, washing machines, combined cabinets, etc., are indispensable for marriage after 1980s. , called "clothes rice bowl", refers to the husband, mother-in-law, close relatives, elders, brothers and sisters will each bring a meeting gift, mostly pillows, shoes and socks, commonly known as "gifts" when they meet at the wedding.
At least two sedan chairs should be prepared on the wedding day of the man's family, and the daughter-in-law should be married according to the selected auspicious time. When you go to the woman's house, you should bring a "thank you gift", which is a gift and cloth for the woman's parents, as well as flower buns, meat recipes (4 ribs) and wine. & lt Today's folk music, Judah, Liancheng, Tong Yuan and other areas (that is, the former Liancheng Tusi Yamen area) * (Note: Liancheng Tusi Yamen will be introduced in a later article) When getting married, the woman's family asked the man to bring a female goat as a gift to the family god.
Among them, there is a legend: It is said that the family god here is a "horn god". If a girl gets married without offering a lamb, the horn god will be unhappy and will destroy the smooth progress of the marriage.
In addition, the number of people who want to get married should be single, and one of them should be a woman, which is the so-called "married grandmother". This person should choose a suitable family, with complete parents, husband and children, commonly known as "all Huanren". Don't use mules when you get married. When a girl leaves home, she should cry as much as possible, otherwise she will be laughed at.
When you leave home, you should take a pair of chopsticks in your hand and throw them on the ground to show that you don't take money from home. At the same time, the woman's family should secretly hide the things on the sedan chair and let the son-in-law pay for it when you leave. When the bride gets on or off the sedan chair, she should be hugged by relatives, preferably uncles, commonly known as "sedan chair lift".
When you get married, you shoot a gong and beat your body with colored paper flowers mixed with salt and whole grains to show that you can drive away evil spirits. At this time, people who don't belong to the family should temporarily avoid it. There should be unmarried men guarding the bed on the kang of the new house, commonly known as "pressing the bed" Red paper should be pasted on the windows of the new house, and the bride should tear off the window paper when she enters the room. Walnuts and red dates are hidden on the kang, symbolizing reunion and early birth.
At the wedding, men left and women right, three times (heaven and earth, ancestors, parents), then the couple worship each other, and finally the guests. At this time, the host will say something auspicious, such as making money, respecting the old and loving the young, and having a baby early. Later, the newlyweds will toast, kowtow and give gifts to their parents and relatives. This is called "raising gifts to recognize relatives", and some women will marry them.
The woman made a suit, shoes and socks and a belt for her new son-in-law, which was given to the bride by her sister-in-law or nephew to try on at the wedding. At this time, the groom's peers tied the groom with a belt and asked him to pay for it. This is called "paying". Then, the bride's "wedding guests" personally put the long noodles brought from home into the pot, gave the bride and groom two bowls each, and let them sit together and finish eating.
After the wedding, everyone closed the door, and the newlyweds entered the bridal chamber first, thinking that whoever entered the bridal chamber first would be the master in the future. Making trouble in the new house at night is commonly known as "making trouble in bed". Making a new house is very casual and open, and no matter how old or young, there is a saying that "a new wife will be big or small for three days".
San Tian JIU
On the third day after the wedding, the parents or brothers and sisters of the bride's family had a "three-day wine". When you come, you should bring lapels and sleeves, and let the bride take her to the kitchen to roll a "long face" called a "knife face", so as to identify and assess the advantages and disadvantages of the bride's "tea rice" technology and whether it is fast and capable. On this day, the bride was taken to the wheat field by "Quan Huanren" to kowtow and incense to Wei Shi, and called it "Hui Dui Ye". After that, she can go out from now on. When you go back to your mother's house for the first time, you should go out early to avoid being seen by passers-by. You can't stay at your mother's house longer than at your husband's house. Within a few months after marriage, the man will also bring a wine gift to thank the matchmaker. At this time, a complete wedding is over.