Pay attention to 1. When observing silently, we must restrain our prejudice.

Everyone has his own standard to measure the speed of doing things. Many times, the reason why we can't stand children's procrastination is because we use our own "time standard" to measure children. We will think that it is best to start preparing at 7 o'clock when going out at 8 o'clock, but the pace of children is different. They may think that brushing their teeth can be slower and eating can be faster.

You'll think I've been there before. I have experience. How can my experience be bad?

Unfortunately, no matter how good these experiences are, they are all yours, not children's. Just like learning to walk, a child can't learn how to get up without falling.

Only by letting go of prejudice can we see the rhythm and ability of children, and children have room to develop their better control.

Note 2. It seems that nothing has been done. In fact, you have kept the bottom line of safety and made a choice.

This bottom line of safety comes from your careful observation, to see where his ability is at the moment and what progress he has made. It only takes 5 minutes to put on his shoes by himself. He can control the time to do homework, but sometimes it will be half an hour less, so that you can decide which parts can be put down and which parts need more help. There is a saying in psychology, giving children a flexible space to "jump and reach".

This will send a message to the child from the inside out: I believe in you, and I believe that you have self-control. Even if you can't do it well now, you can master it in the future. So I'm not responsible for you anymore. You need to start to perceive time by yourself and adjust the pace of doing things. Under this trust, every time I do better, my children can feel that "I can arrange it myself." This is a small bud of self-control. It takes time to grow up slowly, and it is also worthy of our parents' patience and training.

Finally, I want to say that it is an important step for children to learn self-control without delay, which may be more difficult than urging, reprimanding and getting angry. Adults need to be self-aware, empathetic and patient.

But in the end, he can always find his own way, which is growth. Isn't the ultimate goal of our parents to grow up with their children?