Usually, I will tell my friends that before we became human beings, we were essentially animals. Desire, like eating and breathing, is an instinct that no one can avoid. For men, this instinct will only be stronger and more irresistible. However, we are not only animals, but also people, who know how to endure desires and restrain instincts. If a person really cares about your feelings, he will certainly be able to respect your thoughts and know how to restrain his instinct for you.

As the saying goes, "Love is indulgence, but love is restraint."

My roommate came back suddenly two days ago-why use the adjective "suddenly"? Then there is a long story to tell.

The little sister who shares the room will call her Yiyi for the time being. Yiyi is a little girl who studies music. At the age of 22, she plays the cello beautifully, which can be said to be outstanding in appearance and temperament. Yiyi met her current boyfriend when she was performing for a friend six months ago. She is 10 years old. She is also a student of music. She is well-known in Shanghai music circle and looks gentle, mature and reliable.

Yiyi is a little girl who was born and raised in Shanghai. Although her life is not very rich, she is also very rich. I told Yiyi that we shared a house, but in fact we rented a small house in the name of Yiyi's father. Therefore, Yiyi always runs at both ends and lives near the performance. Yiyi's boyfriend began to pursue Yiyi after knowing Yiyi for one or three months. Because of her age, Yiyi hesitated, and clearly understood that the gap between 10 years old would definitely bring some contradictions, so Yiyi considered it for three months and finally chose to believe it under her boyfriend's gentle offensive.

Facts have proved that Yiyi's choice can be said to be correct.

After being together, Yiyi's boyfriend's attitude has hardly changed. She picks up Yiyi who performs everywhere every day, collects all kinds of delicious restaurants and pulls weeds with Yiyi, and always prepares surprises or gifts intimately on holidays. On the weekend, she canceled the wine date with her friends and went for an outing with Yiyi. Many times, Yiyi doesn't have to think about anything other than performance at all, because her boyfriend will always arrange it first-this is probably the charm of falling in love with a mature man.

With the on-call "car driver", Yi Yi went back to the room we shared a lot less. As soon as Yi thought she was late, she would always disturb my rest, so she went home. Therefore, Yiyi, who came back nearly twelve o'clock two days ago, can naturally be called "sudden return".

When Yi opened the door, I obviously didn't expect that I was still awake, but I believe all my friends who were in a hurry understood how chaotic DDL was the night before. When Yi came back, I had not slept for three consecutive nights, and there was a short ending before I finished the manuscript. I look haggard and heartless.

Yiyi's face is not very pretty. I was dazed, ran to the kitchen to help Yi Yi pour a cup of hot water, and then quietly sat back in front of the computer. Sometimes, the best comfort for a person in a bad mood is to give her quiet company. Yi Yi sat with hot water for a long time and asked me in a low voice, "Cat, do you think all men are obsessed with sex?"

I turned around, sat in the swivel chair, slowly slid to Yiyi, held hands and thought for a while. I told Yiyi: "This is instinct, and it is force majeure." Yiyi finally looked away from the cup and looked up at me. So I went on.

"Before becoming human, we are animals first, just like you want to drink water and eat. Sex is inevitable and an instinct. It's just that men have a stronger demand in this respect than girls. On the other hand, however, we are not only animals, but also people. One of the gifts of human beings is patience and restraint. Hungry but no food, thirsty but no water to drink, can endure desire and restrain instinct. If a person really cares about your feelings, he will certainly be able to restrain his instinct for you. "

I later explained to Yiyi that I didn't mean to persuade her to break up. In fact, Yiyi rationally refused her boyfriend's little moves, and nothing happened between them, but some of her boyfriend's little moves seemed to have some small signs. Yiyi also understands that apart from this mistake, her boyfriend can really take good care of her. She felt sad that her boyfriend didn't remember his promise. 10 years old, Yiyi can understand why her boyfriend makes those little moves, but understanding and accepting are not the same thing. Yiyi and I both understood that this situation was inevitable, and later we reached a consensus. Yiyi can forgive this problem, but can't tolerate it. After a while, her boyfriend called, apparently to apologize. Yiyi hung up the phone until her boyfriend called the fifth time. All that remained was her uneasy explanation and apology. Yiyi calmed down and rationally explained her attitude.

This episode ended with the most happy ending: Yiyi's boyfriend realized his mistake, took the initiative to make a contract with Yiyi, and finally got Yiyi's forgiveness. Just for Yi Yi, this will be a careful knot that will never be forgotten in this relationship.

Many times, both parties in love are in a state of lack of some reason, and once reason leaves, what remains is instinct. For Yiyi and most girls with normal views, it is no problem to deliver themselves in a beautiful atmosphere at the right time, in the right state, but the real situation is often somewhat unsatisfactory.

At one time, many friends signed "Love is indulgence, love is restraint". Although old-fashioned, this sentence is really reasonable. Just like shopping on Taobao, you tend to indulge in what you like. It won't be too hard to watch the figures on the bill accumulate more and more, and the balance is getting less and less, because the things you like are always dispensable. You didn't buy it this month, but you will buy it next month. But once you meet something you really like, you will begin to restrain yourself, endure the desire to spend money, and pay off the money on the bill until you can put that favorite thing in your pocket.

So are feelings.

A person, whether male or female, is always cautious about the person he really loves, fearing that a little mistake will bring irreparable harm. Of course, this doesn't mean that we don't make any mistakes when we treat the people we really love. After all, we all make mistakes.

But it must be clear that if a person really cares about another person, he/she will definitely consider his/her feelings, carefully guess the attitude and mood of the other person, consciously learn to be patient and restrained with the other person, and give the other person a sense of security and trust to the maximum extent. In a sense, this is also an instinct, human instinct for love. .

Therefore, restraint is really an essential quality of true love.