Drama: sketch

Title: Song Wu Da Hu

Corner color: Store Song Wu Monkey Tiger Police

(The story begins at Jingyanggang Hotel ...)

Shopkeeper (dial first): 782954 ... Boss Zhang, why hasn't the monkey brain I want arrived yet? What? Out of stock. Do you have a frog? Ok, then send it to me quickly. (to the audience) Nowadays people are very talkative and want to eat some strange things, such as frog legs, turtledove wings and orangutan brains ... Look how prosperous the business of Jingyanggang Hotel is! But now I'm in a hurry! What's the hurry? All the games are sold out. What can we do? hey ...

Song Wu (singing): The river flows eastward ... I, Song Wu, the hero who fought tigers in those days, walked hungry and thirsty today. I have to find a hotel to have a drink! (Shouting): Boss, do you have any wine? Bring a bowl of wine to eat!

Shopkeeper: Yo! Isn't this the head of Wudu? What brings you here!

Song Wu: Northwest wind. Do you have any good wine? Just bring it!

Shopkeeper: This is the best pressed beer. Let me screen it for you.

Song Wu: This is really good wine. It's really amazing! (I drank three bowls in a row and stretched myself) Wow! That's so cool!

(Shouting again): Boss, are there any games? Bring me some wine!

Shopkeeper: Games? It's sold out! You don't know, the management is strict now, and the goods are particularly tight. Alas, Wudutou, where have you made a fortune these days?

Song Wu: Forget it! Since he killed the tiger, he has become famous in one fell swoop, eating the imperial grain and having no worries about food and clothing. Alas! Now that I've been laid off from institutional reform, I'm so embarrassed at hand recently that I don't even have the money to drink. ...

Shopkeeper: (striking table) Hi!

Wudutou, you are the living one who is suffocated by urine! (Mysteriously) Now an owl can sell for 5000 yuan, and a monkey brain can sell for 1000 yuan. (pretending to be poor) alas ... alas! Why do you complain that you have no money to drink when you have so many skills and so many opportunities to get rich?

Song Wu: The animals you mentioned are all protected by the state. They can be strictly controlled. It's not cost-effective to be caught for those two pennies!

Shopkeeper (mysterious): Well, there is a big deal now. Would you like to do it?

Song Wu: What do you mean?

Shopkeeper: I heard that recently there was another big bug with a white forehead hanging on my eyes on Jingyanggang. 50,000 to 60,000 for a tiger skin! Add tiger gall, tiger bone and tiger meat, at least hundreds of thousands!

Song Wu (with a reluctant face): Wow! Hundreds of thousands? ……

Shopkeeper: (takes out cash) Cash, this is a great opportunity!

Song Wu (hesitating): This. ...

Shopkeeper: (looking at it with disdain, mocking tone) Yo! Yo! ..... I didn't expect the hero who killed the tiger in those days to dare not kill a mouse today!

Song Wu (angrily): What did you say? Wow! It really pisses me off. (Knocking on the table) Bring me the wine, I'll drink another 18 bowls of his wine, and then knock the big white frontworm down! (Song Wu throws a cup and the shop picks it up. )

(after drinking, pick up the whistle stick and leave)

(Singing): Run when it's time to run. It is going up the hill. ...

Shopkeeper (calculation): Is this the true nature of a tiger hero? A piece of tiger skin can earn 20 thousand, plus tiger gall, tiger bone and tiger meat ... hahaha! I want to send it again this time! (store exit)

(Song Wu comes to the mountain)

Monkey (me): (singing) My king is the Monkey King, and Tang Priest has gone to the West to learn Buddhist scriptures. A group of people entered Guo Huashan, and the young monkeys were skinned and their livers were dug. It's a good thing I'm smart and not dead. Today I was exiled to Jingyanggang. This is a good place. I'll settle down here for the time being!

Song Wu: A monkey? ! What did the store say just now? How much is a monkey? Forget it, kill it first! (Raise a stick to hit)

Monkey: (Shouting) Help! Tiger king, help me!

(Shouts fall, tigers roar)

Song Wu: Ouch! There are tigers. I'm going to be rich this time!

Tiger (me): (looking at Song Wu) Isn't this Song Wu who killed my ancestors? What a narrow road! You old thing, watch how I avenge my ancestors today!

Policeman (me): (Shouting) Stop it! (Scare away the tiger)

Song Wu: (hands clenched) Dude, it's a good thing you arrived in time and hit the tiger!

Policeman: (shows the detention warrant and grabs Song Wu) What dude, I'm a policeman, and you're under arrest!

Song Wu: (puzzled) If you don't shoot tigers, why are you arresting me?

Policeman: You violated the Wildlife Protection Law (handcuff Song Wu). )

Song Wu: In those days, I killed a tiger and became a hero. Today, I was arrested for shooting tigers. If the police don't arrive in time, I will be in danger. (Song Wu kneels) Thank you for saving my life! Alas ... it's all because of the hateful store.

Policeman: What? Shopkeeper again! We're watching him. Let's go! Kill that black shop!

Tiger: I survived this time, thanks to the wildlife protection law!

answer to a curtain call

Actor: Xiao Dan, a small stone and an old cadre with eight miscellaneous noodles.

Xiao Dan: Well, it's been more than ten years since I graduated from college. It's hard for my classmates to meet each other in those years. Some of them have money, others have no money. The poor did not escape from the rich, and both the rich and the poor were speechless. Students' feelings can't be wasted, so today's class reunion is just to exchange feelings, whether drunk or not, hehe. (cleaning the house)

Noodles: Xiao Dan, why are you still busy? Cook quickly. Old classmates are coming soon. Hey, I still have to say something to you: it's not too late today. Remember that Zhao Weifeng is the focus of today's party. He is now the manager of Xin enterprise, and he is 100% rich. If we make him happy today, then we will keep the golden rice bowl, hahahaha!

Xiao Dan: Why are you so greedy? Do classmates also want to talk about money?

Noodles: Xiao Dan, why are you so ignorant? Classmates, classmates are all the same, but their studies are different. If he doesn't study hard, he won't be angry with us if he is poor. If he studies hard, his money proves that he works hard. You're like xin jing Water. This is hard to predict. You took part in many activities, but you didn't study hard. I heard that you lost your job after graduation. Now you farm at home. Why do you think this is?

Xiao Dan: Xin is also a classmate. You can't favour one over the other.

Noodles: Ah, yes, you once had an affair with the new water mirror. No wonder you have been defending him. Don't have sex in front of me, and don't blame me for making him stop eating!

Dan: You! Hum! (Angry) (Noodles sit down and read the newspaper)

Si Tong: (answers the phone) Outside! I am Zhao Weifeng. Oh, manager Xin, don't worry about coming to the chop suey's house for reunion. I'll make it clear. Goodbye!

Open the door!

Noodles: Here we are. Hello. Who are you?

Stone: I'm Zhao Weifeng!

Big miscellaneous noodles: Feng Wei, alas! (Hugging) I miss you so much. We have not seen each other for ten years. I miss you so much! How is your mother?

Si Tong: Not bad!

Noodles: How is your father?

Si Tong: Not bad!

Noodles: Is everything all right at home?

Si Tong: Not bad!

(Xiao Dan comes out)

Xiao Dan: Oh, dear! Small stone!

Si Tong: Huh? Who are you?

Bedding face: small stone? Hey? This is manager Zhao Weifeng. How could you? ...

Xiao Dan: Ah, it's Manager Zhao. Sit down and talk!

(Zhao Weifeng's cell phone rings, answer the phone)

Stone: Outside, Manager Xin! What? Ok, I'll be right there!

Old classmate, my company has something to leave at once, okay? Let's get together again sometime!

(Zhao Weifeng)

Mixed noodles: it's over, it's over, he's gone, what else is there in this reunion? Jiaozi, come and have tea!

(Go ahead, knock at the door)

Xiao Dan: Who is it?

Laoganba: Me!

Xiao Dan: Old Gamba?

Old Gamba: Dan? Be in favor of

Xiao Dan: Yes!

Noodles: Who is Xiao Dan?

Xiao Dan: Come in, old chap! Yan Jun, look who's here.

Noodles: Ah, send the gas tank and put it inside!

Xiao Dan: He looks like an old classmate of ours.

Big noodles: old dry bar? Which old guy?

Old Gamba: Don't you know me? Noodles? You forgot me, I remember you!

Noodles: My name is Zhang Junyan, not noodles. Sit in it (disdainfully).

Xiao Dan: (holding the hand of the old dry bar) What are you doing now, old dry bar? I haven't seen you for a long time.

Laoganba: Ah, mine. ...

Noodles: Cough! Xiao Dan, you go and boil some water!

Laoganba: Big noodles! No, Zhang Junyan, what are you doing now?

Noodles: Ah, nothing! Just a few small projects!

Old Gamba: What event?

Bedding face: Ah, nothing, just heating the Polaris, shallowing the Pacific Ocean, cloning a North Korea, and then filling the black hole.

Laoganba: Eh! Then you are quite busy!

Noodles: Hehe, just so-so! What are you writing, old classmate?

Laoganba: Compared with you, I am far from encouraging crops all day.

Face: (proud) Nothing, I can handle one or two thousand a year!

Laoganba: No, it's only eight or nine hundred-ten thousand a year!

Noodles: Ah, eight or nine hundred? Wan? I'm not saying you're an old man. What are you bragging about with me? Ah, we were all from the countryside. Who doesn't know how much money we earn a year, huh? Do you have any difficulties to come to me? What are you pretending? Not that I can't help you. I have hundreds of thousands of family businesses now, and there are several bicycles alone. The' 89 can be pushed later. It's okay. Don't always get tired of walking. Ride it!

Old Gamba: Well, I'm not leaving!

Noodles: Riding a donkey? That thing is more tired and painful, and it is not as good as a bicycle!

Laoganba: No. ...

(Xiao Dan)

Xiao Dan: What are you talking about? Come and drink water!

Noodles: Xiao Dan, take some of our rags to the old bar. It is too expensive to buy clothes.

Xiao Dan: Hey!

(Xiao Dan takes out a dress)

Noodles: Are you taking my clothes?

Xiao Dan: Then you won't tell the veteran cadres, will you?

Noodles: I'm talking about those you stuffed in the heating hole!

Dan: Can I still wear it?

Noodles: Can he still think of us, old Gamba?

Laoganba: Nothing, old classmates, always old classmates!

Xiao Dan: Fuck, haven't you eaten yet?

Noodles: Yes! Why don't people eat when they are old and shriveled? Besides, the vegetable oil in our house is too big. Can the old dry bus get used to it? What should I do if I have diarrhea in the future? Pack some steamed buns for the old Ganba to take away. Maybe the old Ganba is in a hurry!

Xiao Dan: Zhang Junyan, are you going a little too far?

Go ahead: Well, that's all right, Xiao Dan. Yan Jun, you are busy. I'll go first!

(Zhao Weifeng knocks at the door)

Noodles: Who is this? Stop.

(Open the door)

Noodles: Hey! Feng Wei! Oh, you miss me so much. That's great. Xiao Dan does it quickly. Don't go today. Stay here!

Stone: No, our director is here, isn't he?

Bedding face: director? Don't!

Old Gamba: (Come here) Stone, is everything done?

Stone: Brother Xin, it's done. Foreign direct funding of 20 million!

Laoganba: OK, let's go!

Noodles: Brother Xin! Oh, I miss you so much! Great, Xiao Dan, let's buy seafood. Brother Xin, don't go today. I will book you a hotel! Hey, make Longjing for Brother Xin. What are you doing with this rag? Brother Xin, sit down!

Old Gamba: Military vocabulary …

Noodles: Brother Xin, please call me Noodles Sample!

Old Gamba: Do you remember when you used to order noodles? Do you remember how your name came from?

Big mixed noodles: of course, my family was poor when I was a child. I take cornmeal to school every day. My classmates call me Da Mian, but no one looks down on me. They all came to help me!

Laogan Dad: At that time, I took a sugar steamed bun to school every day, and it was used to make your mixed noodles every time. It's not that I like to eat miscellaneous noodles, but I want you to know that there are feelings besides money in the world! Jun Yan, can you treat President Xin to seafood, stay in a hotel, and not even stay for a while? Old classmates, old classmates, even if we have more money, we can't forget our old classmates!

Bedding face: Go ahead! Whoo-

(Music begins)

An answer to the curtain call

Two little lions

First, study art.

There is a tree on the left side of the stage. )

(Voice-over: In a big forest in Guang Mao, father lion, the "king of the forest", is learning hunting skills with his two children. )

Dad: (slapping) This is "slapping", kid.

Big: I jump (jump action).

Xiao: I jump, I jump, I jump on the butterfly (jump on the tree and sit down).

Dad: (Bite) Son, this is "tearing" and this is "biting".

Big: I tear, I bite. (Biting action)

Xiao: I'm going to bed. (Turn over and fall asleep)

(mother lion voiceover: dinner is ready! )

Dad: (getting up) Let's go. Let's practice after supper. (under the big lion)

(voiceover:

Mom: What about the little lion?

Dad: Well, the child is too lazy. He must have gone to sleep somewhere again.

Mom: You eat first and I'll call him back. )

Tree: Little lion, little lion, get up and don't always sleep. (The little lion looks up at the tree) Why don't you learn some skills?

Xiao: It's really comfortable to bask in the sun. I won't stand it!

Tree: Then how will you live in the future?

Xiao: My parents are kings in the forest. (played by the lioness) With their status, I will live a good life!

Mom: Son, we are old, and we will be gone. Who do you depend on?

Xiao: (gets up) Mom.

Mom: You should also learn the skills of life and be a real lion!

Xiao: (leaving with mom) I see, mom.

Second, there is no food.

(voiceover: A few years later, the lion's parents were old, and the big lion inherited the "king of the forest". )

On the cubs, the fox is eating meat from the opposite direction.

Xiao: (talking while walking) I'm really hungry. Alas, fox, what's that in your hand?

Fox: This is ... (after thinking about it, he hands the meat to the little lion) Oh, it's chicken. It is delicious. Please come and have a taste first.

Xiao: (overjoyed, I was about to take it, think about it and put it on the shelf) Let it go. I just ate and I'm not hungry.

Fox: Yes, yes, yes. (Putting the meat on the ground) Your brother is the king of the forest now, and I will ask you to take care of him in the future.

Shaw: Well, let's talk about it later. (The little lion wolfs down the meat under the fox) Gee, how can I eat so little meat? Brother, brother, good brother, I am hungry. Go get me something to eat. (coquetry)

Big: (break free) Hum! If I ask you to study art, if you don't study it, you have to rely on others to support you. The fox took the meat and was surprised to hear what the big lion said. Listen, from now on, even if you starve to death, I won't give you anything to eat! (below)

Xiao: (trying to chase) Brother, brother, (turning around sadly, I saw the fox, who was busy eating the meat in his hand) Hey, Fox, did you bring me food again?

Fox: No, no, it's over.

Xiao: You! (pointing to the fox) Hum! (Put down your hand and go to sleep under the tree)

Fox: Hum! It seems that this backer is unreliable. I'm not stupid enough to give him meat. (End)

Third, hunting.

Xiao: Ouch, I'm starving. (getting up) It seems that I have to find something to eat by myself.

Rabbit: (while jumping) I jump, I jump, I jump. ...

Xiao: Alas, you little bastard. Rabbit! Don't run! ! !

Rabbit: (panicking and running for life everywhere) Ah! Help! Do not eat me! The little lion couldn't jump for several times, so he bent down to snore? It turned out to be a useless lion. (teasing) Come and get me, come and get me. The little lion is in the same place, but he can't get it. The rabbit knocked on the lion's head, and the lion touched his head and got angry. ) Alas, hahahaha, (the rabbit says as he walks) I can't catch it, I can't catch it, ...

Xiao: Angry, angry, angry, I am so angry. (crouching on the tortoise) Hey, tortoise, (jumping up and pushing it to the ground) Haha, I finally caught one. (worried) But, how to eat? (talking and gradually relaxing the tortoise) Dad said, how should I tear and bite? (The tortoise takes the opportunity to escape) How to bite? Hey, where's the tortoise? entreat ...

Fourth, the ending.

Xiao: It's all my fault. I didn't learn art well I can't catch the rabbit, nor can the tortoise eat it. Dad, mom, brother, where are you? I want to study art! (The little lion crouches down with hunger) Ouch, ouch. ...

Rita: (talking) Do you want to study art now?

Shaw: Brother, I was wrong. I will study hard in the future.

Da: Hahahaha ... this is the descendant of my lion king family! Let's go (with the little lion).

(Voice-over: A few years later, the little lion finally mastered the skill of hunting. He left his parents, the big lion and a jungle. Later, he became the "king of the jungle" there! )

The end of the play. Curtain call!