American education experts found in family surveys that children have special trust in their parents. They often regard their parents as their teachers in study, role models in virtue, life consultants and emotional bosom friends. They especially hope to gain the trust of their parents and communicate with them equally as friends. They believe that only the trust of parents is true and reliable. Parents' trust means pressure, attention and encouragement, which is the real motivation to touch their hearts. Judging from the educational effect. Trust is an enlightening way of education and an effective way to change children's disobedience.
In family education, parents' trust can make children feel that they are in an equal position with their parents, so that they are more respectful, caring, close and obedient to their parents and are willing to pour out their hearts to their parents. This not only enhances parents' understanding of their children's inner world, but also makes parents more targeted and achieve better results when correcting their children's disobedience.
On the other hand, if parents don't trust or distrust their children, children can't understand their wishes and demands, their self-esteem and self-confidence will be hurt, their trust in their parents will be weakened, and even they will be more rebellious, leading to the escalation of disobedience.
Therefore, parents should trust their children and be their friends.
Chen Min's son is regarded as the apple of her eye. /kloc-When he was 0/2 years old, Chen Min never let him go alone, even if he was only a few steps away from home. Afraid that the child's car would hit in the corridor, and he would not handle the emergency, the child broke away from Chen Min's hand several times and wanted to do his own thing independently, but she pulled him back, and his eyes were full of tears. The reason for this is the lack of trust in children's ability to handle these things, or rather, the lack of trust in children themselves.
On one occasion, the child wanted to go to the Central Bookstore to read by himself, but Chen Min didn't agree. The child said to her very formally, "mom, give me a chance and trust me." I'm sure there's no problem. " Facing the child's almost pleading tone, Chen Min decided to give the child trust.
Two hours later, the child came out of the bookstore happily with a proud expression on his face. From then on, children can handle their own problems, let them do it, and sometimes give them some important things to do. They all do well. The child also felt Chen Min's trust in him, became much more sensible, told her a lot of confidences, and regarded her as one of his good friends.
This case tells us that children actually have their own thoughts from the beginning of being sensible, and like adults, they are eager to be understood, respected and trusted. However, many parents often ignore this point, which leads to many disobedient behaviors of children.
A family education expert once pointed out that the secret of making children obedient is to firmly believe that children can do it. Like adults, every child's deepest need is to be appreciated and affirmed. Parents should give their children the confidence and strength to move forward from beginning to end. Even a casual compliment and a small encouragement will make them excited for a long time and even change the whole profound face.
In the history of education, there is a famous "implied expectation effect" experiment, the essence of which is to trust children. This effect is widely used in modern education. Educators start from the trust in children, cultivate their enthusiasm, and let them get rid of bad behaviors such as rebellion, willfulness and disobedience with the encouragement and trust of others.
Trust in children and becoming their friends can stimulate their inner motivation and make them feel the happiness of success and failure. They will become obedient and confident in their parents' eyes and words full of trust and friendship, so as to face life with a more high-spirited attitude.
So, how can we trust children and become their good friends?
1) Cultivate children's self-confidence
A philosopher said: "self-confidence is the fulcrum of everyone's career success." Without self-confidence, one cannot achieve much. " With confidence, we can turn resistance into motivation, overcome all kinds of difficulties and dare to win. "Therefore, parents should pay attention to cultivating their children's self-confidence, guide their children to respect others but not be superstitious, and treat others' success and failure with a scientific attitude. Once children have self-confidence, they can look at their own advantages and disadvantages objectively and control their thoughts and behaviors more effectively.
2) Tolerance of children's mistakes
Don't scold a child with extreme words when he is disobedient. Instead, we should be persuasive and rational, analyze the ins and outs of the incident with our children, point out the reasons and harm caused by children's disobedience, and then help them correct their mistakes. There are no people who don't make mistakes in life, especially children whose outlook on life and morality are forming, and they are more likely to have shortcomings and mistakes. Parents should fully understand them, trust them and guide them to treat their mistakes correctly.
3) Grasp the lenient and strict standards for children.
In daily life, don't be enthusiastic and indifferent to anything about children. Parents are supporting their children to do what they can, as long as it is beneficial. It is normal that children lack experience and skills and sometimes fail or make any mistakes. When children encounter setbacks and failures, parents should give more comfort and encouragement to help them find out the reasons and fully protect their self-confidence. It may lead to children's confrontation.
Therefore, we should not only have confidence in children in words, but also show it in actions, especially those disobedient children. Parents should pay special attention to this problem. If parents have enough trust in their children, they will be full of self-confidence, actively exert their subjective initiative, effectively adjust themselves, and turn disobedience into enterprising spirit.
Please remember: parents are children's best friends, and their trust can only turn disobedient children into the best way.