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Five years ago, my classmate Juanzi and her ex-husband finally divorced after more than two years of entanglement, and her daughter was awarded to her.

In order to regain her freedom and marry the man she thought was "the best in my life", Juanzi exhausted her energy. Fortunately, two people are pursued, loved, and lovers get married.

I remember once when I was shopping, I saw Juanzi and her remarried husband. They hold hands and kiss each other, just like lovers in love, joking or staring at each other like no one's watching.

These sweet and greasy behaviors in public are normal for a young couple, but for two people in their thirties, the picture is somewhat contradictory.

I snickered behind them. As a person who has experienced feelings, I understand the intensity.

After that separation, we haven't seen each other or contacted each other for a long time. At a small classmate party, I heard a classmate say that Juanzi had divorced again.

I was shocked. How is that possible? At that time, the two were so good that they dared to compete with you. How can they leave?

Some knowledgeable students told their own reasons, mainly because of children.

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Juanzi took his daughter, and the man took his son to form a family of four. It seems that children and children are perfect, but this combination is much more complicated than the original family and difficult to get along with.

At first, the two men were fair to their children, but later either the mother secretly bought things for her daughter or the father secretly bought things for her son.

The child is very clever. They will know what each other has and then tell their parents. Moreover, children are hostile to each other and will take advantage of the situation to add fuel to the fire and speak ill of their stepparents.

After a long time, even the best feelings can't stop these beautiful words. Then, we will live with confidence. If you don't tell me your salary, I'll hide in my small vault. With the distance between two hearts, there are various cracks between two people.

Gradually, there are more contradictions and conflicts. I worked hard for a relationship for two years. Married less than two years, ended in divorce.

03

More "successful" extramarital affairs are like this. They began to be energetic and stayed with that person at all costs. When we really came together, the light of each other's original pink filters disappeared and were beaten out of the water by pebbles.

For example, Chen and Lingling in My First Half of Life broke through all kinds of obstacles and came together, but they were also defeated by the little things in the besieged city. Finally, Chen cried bitterly: I want to go back to the past, back to the past.

Well, there is no spell, just about human nature. Austin, a famous British novelist, said: Love is too easy and it is too difficult to last a lifetime.

If at first, there is no trust between two lovers, the situation will soon collapse and we can't go on.

It is natural to build trust in the first marriage, but if there is a lot of selfishness, it is difficult to build trust in the remarried family. It is normal to end up in a gloomy way.

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A male colleague of mine fell in love with a girl with a wife and children more than ten years ago. Really affectionate and aggressive.

He resolutely chose to lead an honest and clean life and gave all his house and children's savings to his ex-wife, as long as he was a free man. Then, walk into the marriage hall with that girl.

Less than a year after marriage, my daughter was born, and the family of three was really happy.

However, when this colleague had dinner with us last year, he drank a little too much that day, and his words gradually became dense. He said to several young people at the dinner table, man, it's all the same with anyone. At first, it was the same passion. After a long time, marrying an angel will be like that. Take care of a person, get married and live a good life, don't mess around!

He is the best combination of family reorganization that I have always thought for years. From his mouth, I couldn't help but be dumbfounded for a long time.

Someone has done a study, saying that in a marriage, the burning time of hormones is 18 months. After having children, family ties can burn for two years. Then two years of responsibility and conscience, and then seven years of itching. At this time, if the soul between husband and wife doesn't sing, it is difficult to have moving scenery in the besieged city.

This is an eternal philosophical proposition of human beings with underdeveloped brains. The ultimate victory over love is human nature.

In fact, the law of emotional development has universal truth, whether it is a couple in Yuan Zaju or a couple in reorganization. It's just that people are more willing to hang up the failed reorganized family and demonize this feeling.

05

Now, let me answer the second question.

Love, just an idea, is sometimes difficult to be bound by morality. You can control your body, but you can't control your heart. Faced with this situation, I never pull out the banner of morality, safeguard justice and eliminate people's desires.

Where there are people, there are feelings. Maybe it's just a nice lunch. Two unsuspecting people will be crazy in love because the other person spits golden sentences.

It is inevitable that you will meet people who make you feel sad outside your marriage, but you don't have to take action every time your heart hurts. If you divorce every time, in the end, you will find that life is tired, love is tasteless, and you hate it from the beginning, so why meet each other?

This is also a question of human nature. What you get is what you lose. Really, there is nothing to avoid in human nature. Otherwise, there won't be so many different ideas, and chaos will eventually be abandoned.

So, what is the best ending of extramarital affairs?

I think, just like in The Bridges of Madison County, two people who love each other to death, in the end, for the sake of responsibility, the woman didn't go with the man.

When I watched this drama, I was still a little girl, and my love had just begun. In the play, the two men briefly glanced at the door of the supermarket, and the woman resisted the impulse to rush forward. The rain all over the sky became their farewell tears.

Their affectionate, contradictory and helpless eyes have become eternal and have been deeply rooted in my mind.

In fact, the best appearance of love is never just holding hands and growing old together. The other is to keep the moments when you once echoed and illuminated each other from afar and bury them in your heart. When you feel lonely and cold in the sea of people, it will give you great confidence and courage.