It should be said that children should have a clear understanding of their gender at the age of 3, and can clearly understand whether they are boys or girls. 3-7 years old is an important stage to cultivate gender role awareness, and children will further deepen their understanding of gender and gender roles from their daily family life. Before the age of 7, the role of parents is undoubtedly the most important. Parents are the first teachers of children's sex education. Therefore, once a child can't get help from his parents, there will be such problems.
Early childhood (0-6 years old)
Confused 1, smart and cute, everyone likes him very much. But one day, Xiaojun asked his mother, "mom, mom, grandma said I picked it up from the garbage." Is this true? " Xiaojun's mother is very embarrassed. She coaxed him and said, "You, Grandma, are right. I picked it up from the garbage. I will tell you when you get married in the future. "
Confusion 2: 5-year-old Lingling just went to kindergarten. When her father picked her up from kindergarten that day, he found her unhappy. "Dad, why do some children have to stand in the toilet, but we have to squat? I secretly looked at Xiao Ming, but our eyes seemed different. Why? " "When you grow up, you will understand. Also, you should concentrate on going to the toilet in the future and see if other people's children are not good children. "
Childhood (7- 10 years old)
Confusion 3: 8-year-old Liang Liang usually likes to play "play house" with her neighbor Tingting. On this day, the two of them were playing, Liang Liang said "You are my wife" to Tingting, and then dragged Tingting into the "bridal chamber" with dignity. Lying in bed, two people also don't know what to do, bright and beautiful suddenly leaned in and kissed Tingting. Unexpectedly, Tingting immediately ran out crying and told Liangliang's mother to bully her. As a result, Liangliang was slapped by her mother.
Confusion 4. But every time he watches it with his parents, as long as there is a scene of two people hugging, his mother will cover his eyes and even forgive him. He asked his mother why she wouldn't let him see it. Her mother always threatened him: "You will be miserable if you read it." "But when I watch it alone, it's fun and not terrible at all." Xiao Di was puzzled.
Juvenile stage (11-14 years old)
Confusion 5: 1 1 Lily unconsciously finds herself completely different from the boy who lives day and night. For this reason, she felt scared and even shy, but she was afraid to ask her parents. Especially in front of male students, she didn't dare to look up, look directly at each other, hold out her chest, and even cringe, as if she had done something wrong. She secretly used tights and corsets to cover up the changes in her chest circumference. Sometimes, I will dress up as a "tomboy" in my clothes, hairstyle and manners.
Confusion 6, but recently he feels something is wrong-the original crisp voice seems to be getting thicker, and there are always some sticky things on his pants in the morning. "Am I ill? Why is it like a different person? " When boys are together, they whisper, saying that this shows that Ajie has begun to develop. But what is development? What will happen? Every time Ajie asks Dad, Dad always says, "You are already a man, and then you will understand."
Confusion 7, with the help of several female students, went down to the clinic. After examination, the doctor found that Jia Jia was bleeding constantly and told her that it was her period. She also said that this is a normal phenomenon, indicating that she has left her childhood and grown up. But when Jia Jia saw so much menstrual blood, he felt horrible and disgusting: "This has been bleeding, and people are not dead?"
Other stages (15- 18 years old)
Confusion 8, other boys feel the same way. As a result, people began to collect cartoons and magazines with pornographic content everywhere, secretly exchange them, and began to have a vague understanding. Once I overheard someone selling porn outside, and Yang Yang bought some, but her mother found out before she had a chance to see it. Mother not only confiscated the disc, but also gave him a good lesson. But Yang Yang's mind is always thinking about the discs he hasn't seen.
Confusion 9. If you feel funny, take it to school and show it to your friends. Someone suggested blowing it as a balloon, and it proved effective. "Anyway, we don't know what's the use. Just have fun. " Many students went home and asked their parents if they had condoms, and they were scolded. Finally, an eagle-eyed classmate found a vending machine outside the toilet door. Soon, all the condoms inside were bought by boys.
Confused 10 but two people who know nothing about love don't know what it should be like to fall in love, and the knowledge between the two sexes is even less. One day, Dongdong kissed Xiaojie, but after the kiss, they were afraid. "Will I get pregnant like this?" Xiaojie is nervous. "I don't think so. I have no idea. " Dongdong is not sure about this. From then on, Xiaojie was always worried that she would get pregnant. As soon as she felt unwell, she thought she was pregnant and was burdened with mental burden, and her grades plummeted from then on.
How should parents react to the confusion of children above 10?
Most parents think that sex education is to tell their children the "truth" about sexual intercourse, pregnancy and childbirth, that is, to explain the process related to the birth of the next generation and their feelings about sex. The so-called "sexual cognition" should start with children's cognition of individuals and others (including their own bodies and others' bodies); In other words, it begins with how parents cuddle, touch, shelter and stimulate an individual's attitude after he has a life, and how parents are relative to each other. The way parents touch and cuddle their children and the intimate contact between parents are the most primitive information transmitted by the Internet. Once the child can understand what others mean, he can start talking about sex with him. Now is the time for children to ask questions. Psychologists believe that perhaps the first word spoken by children's bodies is education. Tell children that their bodies are treasures given by heaven, and penis and vagina are no different from other organs of the body; No matter what body shape, skin and muscles, they are basically beautiful. This sound consciousness will lay a correct foundation for sexual cognition in adolescence and adolescence. Usually when children are four or five years old, they will not only be curious about their own bodies, but also want to know about others' bodies. When he sees that other people's bodies are different from his own, he will want to know the reason. As for the various parts of the body and their functions, we should explain them clearly and give them the correct names. If sex was a taboo topic when you were growing up, you might have to turn to books, newspapers, magazines or libraries. It's better to talk less than to talk more. If the correct address is not used, children will have communication difficulties in kindergarten. The knowledge that children seek and understand changes with their growth, and the starting point of knowledge comes from the cognition of the body. Let children know their bodies from the beginning, and they should be direct and frank, and keep consistent statements; Then as children grow up, they will gradually describe more complicated processes to them. In this way, children can have a solid and sustained cognitive foundation for sex. However, for children (whether children, older children or even adults), actions are always more effective than words. Through the interaction between parents, children can learn many things, such as gentle or delicate gestures. Sex also includes our attitude towards others and how to cherish ourselves. From the moment children are born, they can learn a lot from what they see and feel. Perhaps you will be surprised that children begin to recognize through hugs, caresses and intimate atmosphere around them from infancy; Every parent wants their children to have healthy sexual attitudes and behaviors when they grow up, but every parent doesn't know how to teach them. "How can I put it?" They thought, "if only there were a good teacher in this field!" " "Don't worry, you have no special training. Practice, if you don't know much, you can't teach children well, because setting a sex example is more important than sex education. A child can learn a lot about sex, but he may still become an indifferent, depressed and sexually dysfunctional person in the future. And if parents are affectionate, warm, harmonious and appreciate each other every day, it is undoubtedly the best education for their children. Because the child's ideal opposite sex prototype corresponds to parents. They are good at reading, and they just take this opportunity to deeply understand the happiness and happiness between their parents.
The relationship between men and women is the same when they grow up. Besides, even in sex education, your attitude is more important than what you say. For example, when a child asks you, "Why doesn't my sister pee standing up like me?" When waiting for a sexual topic, the first thing you should remember is to relax and be natural. You don't need to feel embarrassed or uneasy, and don't show that you want to avoid such topics completely. As for the answer, it is easy to understand. Don't tell him "the source of life" at length, because he has no interest in comprehensive knowledge lectures. If you are a little helpless about this simple answer, there are many books and family education magazines suitable for children of different ages in the bookstore now. I suggest you buy a book, choose chapters and articles that can answer his questions, and show him illustrations that can help him understand topics such as life phenomena and gender differences. In this way, you will feel much more at ease if the child asks such a question again.
Sometimes children do it without asking. At this time, they can't panic or get angry. For example, once you suddenly find that your son is playing the role of a doctor, examining a naked or semi-naked little girl, all you have to do is take him away decisively, and at the same time tell him clearly that you are firmly opposed to him playing this game, and you will not allow him to do it again in the future, because the body is everyone's secret. But don't spank him, and don't yell at him in public. Children will learn from your decisiveness. The following behaviors should not appear in the family: nudity. It's best not to let children see you naked, especially heterosexual parents and children. Naked heterosexual parents will arouse children's sexual impulses, and this strange feeling will bring him great trouble in the future. A passionate kiss. Parents should not kiss their children's mouths passionately for a long time, even if it is only to show their love for their children. Because that will stir up the children's feelings. The opposite sex sleeps together. Parents should not sleep with children of the opposite sex. Boys and mothers sleep in the same bed, sometimes the penis will get erect and even get some sexual satisfaction. If a boy sleeps in the same bed with his mother for a long time in the process of growth and development, it is easy to have some sexual dysfunction when he grows up and gets married. Of course, a girl can't sleep with her father for a long time.