Here are some methods that will help you avoid drinking again as long as they are carefully implemented.
1, remember: alcoholism is an incurable, progressive and fatal disease.
Alcoholism is a progressive fatal disease. This disease is caused by human sensitivity to alcohol and psychological impulse to drink. At present, there is no medicine or psychotherapy in the medical field that can be "cured"-we can't simply change our characteristics by hospitalization or taking medicine, so as to return to the normal and moderate social drinking state in the early stage of drinking.
Thousands of alcoholics can't stop drinking. Not only do we see many alcoholics die of drinking-from "D.T." or convulsions, or cirrhosis caused by drinking, but we also see many deaths caused by drinking that are not caused by alcoholism. Moreover, when car accidents, drowning, suicide, homicide, heart disease, fire, pneumonia or stroke are listed as the direct factors of death, the fact is that the serious drinking behavior of alcoholics leads to the conditions and direct causes of death.
Most of us haven't reached the final stage of terrible alcoholism, so now we feel far from that fate when drinking. But if we keep drinking, there is no doubt that we will only die.
Many alcoholics who can't give up drinking will blame themselves for their weak moral values, or think it's because of their unbalanced mentality. However, drinking is not morally wrong, because it is a disease. At this stage, it can't be overcome by one's own will, because alcoholics have lost the ability to choose freely in the face of alcohol.
So we don't have to be embarrassed about our illness. There's nothing to be ashamed of. It's not our fault. We don't want to be alcoholics. We don't want to get this disease, just like no one wants to get pneumonia. Experience shows that as long as you have a strong desire to quit drinking, fully realize the seriousness of the problem, and take care of yourself in an alcohol-free and happy way, you can still live a happy, healthy and valuable life like a normal person.
Step 2 stay away from the first glass of wine
"If you don't drink the first glass of wine, you won't get drunk." "More than one cup is not enough."
When we change from ordinary drinking to drinking, frequent drunkenness seriously interferes with our life and work, so we reduce the number of drinking, or try to control the amount of alcohol to one or two glasses, or switch from high drinking to beer or wine to avoid getting too drunk. Maybe we can stay awake for a while, and then we will start drinking again when there is an opportunity (some special celebration, personal confusion or nothing special at all). At first, we just wanted a drink. As one glass of wine has not caused any serious consequences, we think it is safe to drink another glass. But it turns out that this is just a trap-when we drink two or three cups, we feel good, and then we feel that it will be okay to drink one or two cups according to our ability. As a result, we couldn't help drinking too much and returned to the original drunken state.
Doctors who specialize in alcohol dependence told us that it was the first glass of wine that triggered the potential desire to drink, which made us out of control. This repeated experience leads us to the conclusion that it is impossible to try to control the drinking plan without getting drunk, and avoiding the key glass of wine-"Never do anything wrong with the first glass" can keep us awake for a long time.
Alcohol dependence is an addiction to alcohol. As a soft drug, alcohol is just like any other addictive substance. If we want to stay in a state of recovery, we must stay away from the first anesthetic that causes our addiction.
Step 3 Use the "24-hour" plan
In the days of alcoholism, we often solemnly swear "never to drink again" when we are very uncomfortable. "I swear not to drink for a year." From the bottom of my heart, we really don't want to get drunk again. Of course, some people will have reservations: saying that this oath is only for "spirits", not for beer. In fact, beer and wine can also make us drunk, but we just need to drink more to achieve the same effect as white wine. Drinking beer and wine is no less harmful to us than drinking spirits.
However, after a while, vows and painful memories will be forgotten. I don't know when we started drinking again. Our forever will never last.
Of course, some of them did keep their promises and quit for a long time, two months, six months, or a year. Until the time came, we felt that we should be able to drink freely and control it ... We resumed drinking and soon got into the original trouble with new guilt and regret.
Alcohol dependence is a permanent and irreversible disease. Our experience tells us not to swear to stay awake for a long time. A more practical and effective statement is: "I just don't drink today."
Maybe we drank it yesterday, but we can decide not to drink it today. No matter what kind of temptation and anger we encounter, we try to avoid drinking the first glass of wine today.
If the desire to drink is too strong, then divide the 24 hours into smaller units-at least one hour-and we can tolerate the discomfort caused by this temporary abstinence, then one more hour! Another hour! Go ahead. If we succeed today, we have reason to believe that we can succeed tomorrow.
The "24-hour" plan is very casual. We can start over at any time, no matter where we are. At home, at work, in the hospital ward, at 4 pm or 3 am, we can always decide not to touch alcohol for the next 24 hours or 5 minutes.
We are just trying to live today (now), just to stay awake-it really works. Once this way of thinking becomes a part of our thinking, we find that a 24-hour life is equally effective and satisfying for dealing with other things.
Step 4 take action
The more we want to stay away from alcohol, the more we want to drink. So simply staying away from alcohol (or not thinking about drinking) is not enough.
Once you stop drinking, how do you spend your free time? Most of us have formal work to do, but we still have a lot of free time to kill. Therefore, we must cultivate new hobbies, arrange colorful activities to fill these hours, and at the same time find a suitable outlet for the energy once addicted to alcohol.
There are many meaningful things that are suitable for us to do.
1. When you start abstinence, you can take a walk or take a brisk walk. Especially to new places you've never been before. Go for a leisurely stroll in the park or country road, but it's not a tiring March.
2. read. Although some of us can't settle down to study, we really should read some books, which can broaden our horizons, increase our life experience and concentrate more.
Visiting museums or galleries, some people choose photography is also good.
4. Swimming, running, cycling, yoga or other exercises recommended by doctors.
5. Deal with long-neglected housework. Tidy up the wardrobe, dresser, file documents in different categories, or deal with things that we have put off for a long time. But when we do these things, we should not be greedy and do what we can. Don't clean the whole kitchen or all the files at once, but clean one drawer or one folder at a time and do other work another day.
6. Try to cultivate new hobbies. Choose activities that are not too expensive or demanding, purely entertaining, without competitive pressure and refreshing. Such as singing, writing, tropical fish, carpentry, basketball, cooking, bird watching, amateur performances, wood carving, gardening, guitar, movies, dancing, stone carving, potted plants, collection and so on. Many people find that the activities they really like now are actually hobbies that they never considered trying in the past.
7. regain the fun of the past. A watercolor painting, table tennis or go, reading notes, etc. The one you haven't polished for years, continue these hobbies. But if you think it's no longer suitable for you, give it up.
8. Go to class. Learn Japanese or English? Love history or math? Want to know about archaeology or anthropology? Or cooking, computer operation, and then go to correspondence, TV University or adult education (just interest, not necessarily credit certificate). There are many places where you can take classes only once a week. Why not try it? Taking classes can not only broaden your horizons, but also broaden your life. In case you are tired of the content of the class, don't hesitate to quit immediately and learn to give up activities that are not beneficial to you or have no positive, positive and healthy significance. Let us summon up courage to face it again and have the opportunity to appreciate a new side of life besides drinking.
9. Volunteer to do some useful services. Many hospitals, children's service institutions and social welfare organizations are in great need of volunteers to provide various services. We can have many choices. When we can contribute to others, even if it is only a trivial service, we will find it particularly useful. Even when we talk about the process of participating in these activities and related information, we will feel very interested and particularly involved.
10. As most of us know, there are many ways to get a new hairstyle, wear new clothes, change glasses, or even update teeth, which will have unexpected pleasant effects.
1 1. Relax. Not everything we do in our daily life must be positive and innovative. We also need to do some activities purely for fun, such as kites, zoos, comedy movies, soul music, detective stories and so on. If you don't like them, then find other fun activities that have nothing to do with drinking, just treat yourself.
Step 5 change old habits
In the process of drinking, we have fixed time periods, familiar places and habitual activities. Especially when we are tired, hungry, lonely, angry or particularly happy, these seemingly ordinary and repetitive scenes are dangerous traps for our sober life.
Step 6 use candy or drinks
Try not to let yourself be hungry-when you are hungry, the desire to drink is even stronger. At this time, eating sweets or snacks and eating nutritious food seems to reduce our thirst for alcohol. Because sweetness can inhibit the impulse to drink, the eating process itself will bring a series of new body movements: chewing and swallowing when drinking drinks, milk, biscuits, fruits, etc. This is also very helpful to change the old habits when drinking.
When some alcoholics hear the advice of eating more instead of drinking more, they may worry about whether they will get fat if they eat too much. In fact, after replacing the calorie supply of alcohol with a healthy and balanced diet, some overweight people have removed excess fat and lost weight. Of course, some people may get fat, but it can be controlled-after all, it is much easier to lose weight than to give up drinking.
According to the conclusion of current medical research, eating more foods rich in vitamin B can not only make up for the vitamin deficiency caused by long-term alcoholism, but also help reduce alcohol addiction, so it is very meaningful to supplement multiple vitamins, especially vitamin B, every day.
So the next time we face the urge to drink, we might as well have some candy or drinks. At least you can put off the idea of drinking for an hour or two.
8. Have a good rest
Alcoholics generally don't know why they are tired. In fact, there are at least three reasons from the characteristics of alcohol: ① alcohol is a high-calorie beverage, which can provide energy quickly; ② Alcohol paralyzes the central nervous system, making alcoholics unaware of the symptoms of physical discomfort; (3) When the paralysis of drunkenness gradually disappeared, the anxiety that followed caused another kind of tension.
After we stop drinking, the feeling of anxiety will last for a while, which will lead to depression and insomnia. Meanwhile, we often feel very tired and sleepy. These two situations often appear alternately. As the process of abstinence continues, these two problems will gradually improve, so don't worry.
This reminds us that in the initial stage of abstinence, we must have a full rest. Because when we are tired, we often have the idea of picking up the first glass of wine again.
Many of us are anxious to know why sometimes we suddenly want to drink for no reason. If we carefully analyze the situation at that time, we will find that this kind of situation often happens when we feel particularly tired, but we didn't understand the connection at that time. We often spend too much energy and don't get enough rest. Generally speaking, eating a fast food, a snack or taking a nap at this time can immediately recover, and the idea of wanting to drink will disappear. Even if you don't fall asleep right away, just lie down for a while or take a nap in the chair, you can relax and eliminate fatigue. Of course, if you can arrange enough rest time for yourself in your daily plan, the effect will be better.
Insomnia often occurs after abstinence. And "insomnia" is too often used as an excuse to have a drink or two, so we must take some measures to help ourselves avoid drinking again.
Sometimes, instead of tossing and turning in bed, it is better to do something you like. Even at one or two in the morning, you might as well get up and read or write until your body needs a rest.
Re-examine your living habits and see if some bad habits have caused your sleep disorder. For example, did you drink too much tea or coffee in the evening? Is the diet moderate? Do you have moderate exercise? Is the digestive system functioning normally?
In addition, many traditional folk remedies are also very effective in solving insomnia. For example, drink a cup of hot milk, take a deep breath, take a hot bath, read a boring book or enjoy light music.
If the situation does not improve or even worsen, we suggest seeking a doctor who knows better about the problem of alcohol addiction.
We must remember that sleeping pills can't solve the insomnia problem of our alcoholics. Experience shows that dependence on drugs will inevitably lead to relapse! Moreover, sleeping on drugs requires great risks. Therefore, we would rather endure short-term discomfort than risk taking drugs until the body returns to healthy sleep habits.
After getting rid of the shackles of alcohol, many of us were horrified to find that we had a vivid nightmare, dreaming that we were drinking again in the dead of night or at dawn. We are so shocked and miserable about drinking again, but this phenomenon is not a bad thing. It shows that we have really repented and realized that we can't continue to drink too much, so we also agree with our choice to stay awake in dreams and subconsciously.
When we can sleep peacefully without drinking, it feels so beautiful, a pure physical and mental pleasure, and we don't have to suffer from hangovers anymore, and we don't have to worry about embarrassing situations such as drunken gaffes and blank memories. This means that we have been able to greet a new day with gratitude and hope!
9. occasions of careful drinking
At the beginning of abstinence, it is wise to keep a proper distance from your former fair-weather friends, or find a reasonable excuse to avoid banquets with drinking as the main activity. But sooner or later, I will attend some drinking parties, so how to face the wine market is very important.
If the host is an old friend, you can inform yourself in advance that you have given up drinking now; Or at least one partner knows that we are quitting drinking and understands the importance of this to us-he can support you and reduce the pressure you will bear.
In addition, if it is good for your stomach to supplement some nutrition before attending the party, you can also take a small bag of your favorite candy or substitute food with you. Sometimes if there is still a long time to drink after dinner, we can leave early. Most people hardly care about our leaving. They are busy drinking and things like that.
Generally speaking, we should not be too nervous, because (1) others don't drink as we thought (2) very, very few people notice or care whether we drink (3) love our friends or relatives, and they are happy to see that we don't drink.
At the party, relatives and friends who drink may ask:
"What do you drink?"
"It doesn't matter if you only have one drink."
"Why don't you drink?" ... and so on.
We try to explain it in a way that doesn't lie, so that others can understand and accept it faster. For example, "health factors", "doctor's advice" and "I find myself unfit to drink". Most people can accept that we don't drink now and don't ask me any more questions.
Of course, the sooner you tell the truth to people you know, the better. Most friendly people will appreciate our honesty and encourage us to try to get rid of alcohol addiction. Telling others loudly that we don't drink helps us a lot and strengthens our determination to stay awake. At the same time, there may be a side effect: sometimes we make such a statement, which will encourage other people who want or need to drink, and others will not look down on you.
When we are asked what we want to drink, most of us can accept soda or other drinks, which will make us more comfortable.
We don't want others to pay too much attention to our abstinence, which is normal, but we hope to show it to you in a cautious and secret way rather than in an open way. But sometimes a well-meaning, well-meaning friend or family member inadvertently cares too much about our recovery from alcohol addiction. This may make us feel quite embarrassed. At this time, it is best to be patient as much as possible, usually no more than 2 minutes. When we feel calm, we can calmly explain that we sincerely thank them for their concern.
Sometimes a person who drinks a lot or a former drinking buddy is very dissatisfied with your sudden cessation of drinking. When you are unhappy in this forced situation, please remember that there are thousands of bar friends in Qian Qian who are giving up drinking and supporting you. Even if we are not at the scene, our hearts are with you. You should learn to avoid such people, and sometimes you can find an excuse to leave directly, even if it is not a big deal to offend such people. After all, we just take necessary measures to keep healthy.
10, "Be lenient with others, be lenient with others"
Looking back on our drinking experience, we will find that our drinking problems always seem to be related to other people.
When we are addicted to alcohol, our attitude towards others will become argumentative and aggressive. Our anger and fear are often even directed at innocent people. We are too sensitive to the people around us, so we hold a grudge.
When we stopped drinking, we felt great comfort. However, it is difficult for us to ensure emotional stability. We must face the reality. People everywhere will sometimes say something we don't agree with or do something we don't like, which will cause our mood to fluctuate. We find it extremely helpful to say to ourselves, "Ah, well,' be lenient with others'". It is worthwhile to try to understand others, respect their choices, respect their behaviors and rights, especially those who treat us in the wrong way. We treat each other with courtesy and expect them to give us the same courtesy.
You can find like-minded friends in the community and the company. When we are with people we like, we are rarely disturbed by those who are difficult to get along with.
Slowly, we find that we will naturally stop being afraid of those who will anger us and walk away from them in a hurry. Of course, we are not waiting for them to provoke us, nor are we trying to change them, just because we have changed ourselves.
Don't let yourself have too much resentment towards others, and pay special attention to the scale of prompting yourself to drink. We find that no one can manipulate our wishes or ruin our lives.
"Be lenient with others"-the first half of this slogan is equally valuable: "Be lenient with others"!
When we fully enjoy the interesting and colorful life, we are willing to let others live in any way they like.
Do you remember who is bothering you now? If so, try to put off thinking about him or her, no matter how that person reminds you, it will make you angry. But at this moment, why don't you put him (her) aside and continue reading the next paragraph?
Be tolerant of yourself! Focus on your own life. Our point of view is that staying awake has opened up a new road to happiness in life. It's worth sacrificing any jealousy and argument ... well, let's forget about the person who bothers you for the time being, calm down and see if the following suggestions are helpful to you.
12, get rid of loneliness
Alcoholism is often described as "a lonely disease".
At first, we drank mainly for entertainment, and the infusion of alcohol into the body helped us to become enthusiastic and cheerful in an instant.
But once the effect of alcohol fades, what remains is more alienation and unsociable feeling, which also makes our mood more depressed. At the same time, if we feel guilty and ashamed of our drunken or rude behavior, this tangled and complicated emotion can easily make us feel abandoned and exiled-endless gloom and unspeakable pain. So we quickly picked up our glasses again.
We have contact with people from time to time when we drink. However, most of the conversations we think are important are almost hidden in our hearts and never easily exported. We are sure that we have never been understood, and we often don't care much whether we are understood by others.
Years of drinking make us suspicious, distrustful and self-centered. We habitually show a narrow-minded, stubborn and indifferent attitude, as if we have always been withdrawn and difficult to get along with.
When we begin to have the opportunity to develop normal interpersonal relationships with others and even accept their friendship. Over the years, the burden of inner fear often makes us hesitate, so we begin to feel lonely and depressed. Old thinking in the past can easily encourage us to pick up the first glass of wine again.
How dangerous it is to face the challenge of alcoholism alone. Even if we have great determination and desire, there are few examples that we can beat alcohol on our own. When I am alone, the idea of wanting to drink often appears in my mind furtively. When we feel lonely and empty, the impulse to drink always seems to beat us faster and stronger.
But now we can sail forward with other like-minded friends, and our recovery journey will be safer, more meaningful and more secure. Therefore, we are no longer afraid to ask for help from others. It is not a sign of cowardice to accept others' help in the process of recovery. It is extremely meaningful to cooperate with others, because we all need to help each other.
Of course, each of us needs some alone time to sort out our thoughts, reflect on ourselves, or deal with some private affairs to release the accumulated pressure in daily life. But if you indulge yourself too much and indulge in solitude, it is quite dangerous. Especially when our mentality gradually becomes withdrawn, depressed and self-pitying, it is better to have friends to accompany us than to take care of ourselves alone.
For these reasons, we advise people who have just given up drinking to "avoid being too lonely".
When the idea of drinking comes to mind, if you can stop thinking and talk to someone online as soon as possible, you can at least start to get rid of that dangerous state of isolation.
13, beware of anger and resentment.
Hostility, resentment and anger are always related to our drunkenness, which makes our drinking problem more serious.
"Why are you drunk?" A very common answer is that drinking can increase courage, so you can reveal your worries to others and express your anger and dissatisfaction that you usually find it difficult to face. I don't know how to deal with it.
At the same time, drunkenness is often accompanied by anger. Alcoholics may also enjoy a sense of power over others after drinking.
Anger after drinking is highly correlated with violent attacks and murders. Including criminals or victims, a considerable proportion of them had accidents under the influence of alcohol. Rape, family discord and divorce, child abuse and armed robbery are also often caused by promiscuity after drinking.
Even if we don't commit the above-mentioned crimes, our temper and anger will make others feel nervous and worry about violence at any time. Therefore, we must be aware of the hidden risks behind anger.
As far as human nature is concerned, anger is undoubtedly frequent. Violent acts or verbal attacks in anger not only do harm to others, but also endanger the overall security of society. Moreover, the accumulation of anger also has a very negative impact on mental health. This hostile attitude towards others will seriously damage our hearts and lead to depression.
Although anger is a common problem in all aspects, it is even more threatening and destructive as far as an alcoholic is concerned.
Almost all sober drunks agree that our own anger often destroys ourselves. Feelings of hostility, resentment, jealousy and anger forced us to want to drink again. So be careful of yourself. There should be other better solutions besides another drink.
First of all, let's identify all kinds of angry faces: intolerance, contempt, contempt, jealousy, hatred, snobbery, ridicule, disgust, hostility, dissatisfaction, tension, irony, ridicule, self-pity, malice, distrust, doubt, anxiety, concern, doubt, suspicion and doubt.
In the past, in the process of drinking, we were either stubborn or overreacted, especially when we started drinking again.
Many of us think that anger is the result of inner fear. We are often not sure what we are afraid of, and sometimes it is just a vague and indescribable panic. We often suddenly get angry with people or things without any foresight.
Failure and frustration are also one of the factors that lead to our anger. As far as typical drunkards are concerned, we especially lack the patience and perseverance to accept the test of failure. No matter the actual situation or the imagined situation, in the face of complicated and thorny difficulties, we habitually choose to drink to solve the problem.
Another kind of righteous anger is even more difficult to deal with-we often think that we are just, chivalrous and cynical, and we should stick to what we do out of justice and fairness. But this mentality gradually eroded our hearts unconsciously and eliminated our resistance to the first glass of wine.
Even if we are really wronged and treated unfairly, anger is still a luxury we can't enjoy. No matter how angry we are, we will end up with the first glass of wine again, thus heading for the road of self-destruction.
When we start to lose our temper, it will help to eat some sweets or drink a sweet drink that is not addictive.
If you can start to divert your attention in time and start to deal with other affairs, it will also have immediate results. Like calling for help or contacting other sober members, you can also pause; Consider whether we are overworked, if so, moderate rest can restore our physical strength and eliminate our anger; Similarly, we can also meditate quietly and meditate on the meaning of the sentence "Let others live as well as ourselves", so as to calm ourselves down slowly, or devote ourselves to other unrelated simple tasks, or even enjoy the music we once liked. ...
We can also sort out the source of anger as: things that we can't change (such as traffic jams, weather, queuing for checkout, etc.). ), let us accept it with a mature and rational attitude, without sulking or indulging in wine.
Sometimes we feel a lot of dissatisfaction with the surrounding environment or our own life. If we are faced with the influence of job-hopping, moving, divorce and other things, then when we need to make a decision, we must be cautious and cautious, and we must not be impulsive and make a helpless decision. In other words, no matter how unfavorable the situation is, we should calm ourselves down first, and then we can have a calm attitude and constructive ideas to deal with those things that bother us.
Another effective way to eliminate anger is virtual substitution. Let's think about it. If a mature, sound and intelligent person is faced with the same situation as us, how will he respond and what kind of action will he take? Try it a few more times and it really works.
In addition, we can also get rid of anger through light physical activities-deep breathing, taking a hot bath, meditation and even shouting, all of which help to relieve emotional tension.
We don't recommend adopting a purely repressive, patient, disguised and closed coping style. We must learn to get rid of anger and still do something. If you can't do this, there is a great risk of drinking again in the future.