A coup to form a good attachment between mother and child. In many families, mothers take care of their children alone, which often causes children to be too attached to their mothers. Good mother-child attachment helps children grow up healthily. How can we become a good mother-child attachment? The content shared below is a coup to form a good mother-child attachment.
A coup to form a good attachment between mother and child. First of all, don't respond to the child's request.
The excessive attachment of mother and child is due to the requirements of parents for their children. Once a child leaves his mother, he will be nervous, because it is impossible for everyone to respond to the child, so he will be disappointed and negative. At this time, he will think of his mother and become more attached to her.
Secondly, don't always take care of the children alone.
Mothers who take care of their children alone often lead their children to be too attached to their mothers. They will be anxious as long as their mother is gone, and will cry as long as they can't see their mother. As long as there is a mother at home, I refuse anyone's company. This is excessive attachment, the main reason is that the mother handles all the affairs of the child. Therefore, if you want to establish a good mother-child attachment, don't always take care of the children alone. This will make children feel insecure and more attached to caring people.
Third, gradually cultivate children's independence.
When children depend on them, they want others to help them in everything. When many things have to be taken care of and done by others, they have to be attached. When they arrive in a strange environment, no one can take care of them, and they can't do something independently. They will panic and they will be afraid, so they feel insecure. At this time, they will think of their mother and become more attached to her. To this end, we should let the child be independent and cultivate independence, so that he can better adapt to the new environment. A good parent-child relationship is not to start work, but to let go.
Finally, kiss, hug and smile properly.
Some children feel insecure because they have not been cared for and comforted for a long time. When children are born, touch is the most important way for them to receive information. Therefore, parents should always hold and touch their children, so that children can feel their parents' love and emotion in this process, thus creating a sense of security. They get along with their mother day and night, and it is easier to be inseparable from their mother. But if you don't give your child a hug, a smile and a kiss, the child will feel insecure.
How to do a good job of mother-child attachment mode attachment is a tendency for babies to seek and try to keep close physical contact with another person. This person is mainly the mother, but it also includes other caregivers or people close to the baby, such as other members of the family. Attachment is mainly manifested in crying, laughing, sucking, screaming, babbling, grasping, approaching, snuggling and following.
Attachment is a positive and affectionate emotional connection between babies and their caregivers. It has an important influence on encouraging mothers and caregivers to take care of their offspring more carefully and on forming children's initial personality characteristics of trust and distrust.
Children are very important to him in the first year after birth. Mother's acceptance, love, hug, physical comfort and spiritual concern will promote the formation of a trust, safety and warm relationship between children and mothers. Such attachment can make children healthy, lively, cheerful, confident and self-respecting.
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If the mother is tough, rude, in a bad mood, neglects to take care of the child (leaving the child in a state of anxiety such as hunger, thirst, cold and humidity), or is unwilling to accompany the child personally, foster the child elsewhere, or even abuse the child, then the child may find it difficult to form a good attachment with others, and his psychological development may be delayed or even autistic. Many children can't form attachment, and when they grow up, they will gradually develop borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder.
Children who form a good attachment relationship with their mothers have the following characteristics:
In interpersonal relationships, I am cheerful and lively, confident and self-respecting, know how to love others, can "love" people, have no tendency to violence, be kind and tolerant, and have low requirements for others.
Can correctly interpret the information of parents' education and scolding, children will not hold grudges against their mothers, and generally will not make their mothers too sad. If the attachment is not enough, the child can't fight or scold, because the mother will arouse the child's deep distrust of the mother.
There are three types of attachment between mother and child:
Security attachment, which is the most common type of attachment. Children will cry when their mother is gone, and they will be happy when their mother comes back. If my mother is present, I usually start with my mother to get to know the world. If you are playing, you will continue to go back to your mother for comfort; Usually cooperate more, be less angry and be friendly to strangers. Children tend to form a positive personality.
Avoidant attachment is a rare type. Children seldom cry when their mothers leave, and they are not happy when their mothers come back, so they try to avoid their mothers. If you need anything, don't ask for help, but show anger; Never mind strangers.
Contradictory attachment is also a rare type. The child began to be anxious before his mother left, and was very nervous about his mother's behavior, fearing that his mother would leave; After my mother left, I felt even more uneasy, and after my mother came back, her behavior was very contradictory-she wanted to be close to my mother and refused her, she didn't pay much attention to the surrounding environment, it was difficult to appease, and she was not friendly to strangers. Children tend to form negative personalities.
Attachment is the earliest interpersonal relationship formed after a child is born, and it is the epitome of interpersonal relationship formed after an adult. Therefore, mothers should establish a good attachment relationship with their children.
When the child comes home and needs to rebuild his attachment with his mother, the best thing for the mother not to do is:
(1) dissatisfied with some behaviors, characteristics and habits of children, busy correcting children, making them feel bad and insecure.
(2) I am eager to express my intimacy to my children or let them express it. As a result, I am rejected by my children, which will easily lead to frustration of adults and anxiety and fear of my children.
(3) Reject people who have been attached to children (such as old people and aunts), and be jealous that children are too kind to that person, which makes children feel confused in the development of object relationship.
(4) Throw away the old handkerchiefs, plush toys and books that children carry with them and give them physical objects. These things are very important for children's inner peace and are a substitute for their mother's attachment. We should keep them for the time being and wait patiently for the children to lose interest.
Mothers should guide their children in a peaceful, firm and warm way, and children will slowly and completely fall into their mother's arms and complete the important task of childhood psychological development-attachment. Children who have a good attachment to their mothers can form a sound personality and lay the most basic and important foundation for a happy life.