In junior high school, a biology teacher once talked about the ecological environment on the African grassland, but no one in the class listened, so I got angry and said, "You all look at me! If you don't look at me, how do you know what African wildcats look like? "

Step 2 command

A Chinese teacher read aloud and a student dictated as follows.

Wo Chun/I am stupid

Mume smells the flowers./I have no culture.

Lying on a branch hurts my ass,/I have a low IQ,

I'm lying in the distance like water,/asking who I am,

Eduardo Chun Lv. /A big donkey.

The coast is green,/I am a donkey,

The coast seems to be green,/I am a donkey,

The coast is like a dark green. /I am an ass.

3. The benefits of breastfeeding

There is a question and answer in the examination paper of a medical college student: "Four benefits of breastfeeding."

The student quickly wrote down three benefits:

1. No heating is required.

2. Don't be stolen by the cat.

You can drink it at any time.

At the end of the answer, I can't think of it. After thinking for a while, he suddenly had an epiphany and wrote:

This container is beautiful.

4. Animals closest to humans

After finishing Darwin's theory of evolution, the biology teacher asked the students a question: "What is the closest animal to human beings?"

A student who just woke up scrambled to answer loudly: "lice."

5. Sense of belonging

Xiaoming wrote in an essay entitled "Visiting the Zoo": The zoo is called a zoo because it is full of animals. Animals are kept in pens, and only a few people often stop in front of them. There are always more people watching in front of the orangutan area, because people have a sense of belonging there …

6. Process

A professor who has a sense of humor and is proficient in printing specially gave a simple demonstration in order to let students know about the two basic printing methods of "lead printing" and "photocopying". First, he invited a beautiful female student to the front of the classroom and said to her, "Please put on fresh lipstick and kiss me." Then, pointing to the red seal on his face, he said to the students, "This is the lead seal." Then he took out a white towel from his chest pocket and carefully printed a red mark on it. When he raised his hand to show the clear marks to the class, he whispered, "This is photocopying. The effect of photocopying is similar to that of lead printing, but the process is much more boring. "

7. Nobel Prize in Literature winner Luisa talks about the literary sunflower collection.

20 10 Nobel Prize in Literature winner Luisa gave lectures to a group of famous writers led by Chinese Writers Association and a group of famous Korean writers in Arequipa, Peru. The following is a dialogue between teachers and students.

Lue Sa: "Literature can be divided into pure literature and lying literature. The so-called pure literature is literature without political lies, moral lies and foolish lies, and the so-called lying literature refers to the writer's brainwashing of brain damage under the castration of political lies, guidance, control, assimilation and brainwashing, that is, the content of foolish lies reflected by literary means after castration, or the creation that can't be freed from lies unconsciously ... "

At this moment, among the dozing Chinese and Korean writers, a famous writer from China suddenly stood up and asked, "Mr. Lusa, we all make a living by writing and are not interested in pure literature. How can we write a good lie literature? "

Lue Sa has a deep understanding of China literature. He said: "If you want to practice magic, you must first enter the palace!"

China writers were surprised: "It's that simple?"

Lue Sa: "Even in the palace, it may not be successful."

China's famous writer: "How can I write pure literature?"

Lue Sa: "Once you enter the palace, you will not succeed!"

Famous writer: "Is there any way to have your cake and eat it?"

Lue Sa: "Others from the palace, followed by booing."

A famous writer in China: "I first became famous in lying literature, and then I got the right to speak in pure literature?"

Lou Sa: "Sex reassignment surgery is difficult to use."

China's famous writer: "Alas, I have been engaged in lie literature for more than forty years, and even my bones are lies. What should I do? "

Lue Sa: "It's been too long. Go and be a father-in-law."

At this time, the writers of the writers' associations of the two countries woke up and cried in unison.