Is a cold and violent man worth saving? In fact, each of us can't always be in a good state in our feelings. Life always brings us many different problems, and sometimes it confuses us. Is this cold and violent man worth saving?
Is a cold and violent man worth saving? 1 What is cold violence?
Cold violence is also a kind of violence, which is mainly manifested as indifference, contempt, indifference and alienation. In severe cases, it may even hurt each other psychologically, which is mental torture.
In love, men will escape in quarrels, be indifferent or even suddenly indifferent, and will gradually alienate you, and communication will become zero. At this time, men will not say that they don't love you, but will refuse to communicate with you and punish you with cold violence.
What is cold therapy?
Cold treatment means that both sides need to calm down, put aside emotional problems and let everything return to calm. The difference between cold treatment and cold violence is that the purpose of cold treatment is not to break up, but that men want to avoid fierce quarrels and don't want to break up because of impulse. When a man wants cold treatment, he will become indifferent, but the indifference here is a man's essential calmness.
If there are the following three situations, we should seriously consider them.
Subconsciously escape to protect himself: when there is a contradiction or quarrel between you, he subconsciously chooses to escape and not communicate with you. To put it bluntly, it is an avoidant personality. Once you encounter a quarrel or something that can't be solved, you subconsciously avoid protecting yourself.
There is a playful mentality: when you are in love, you will be very enthusiastic, and all kinds of sweet words will start to be cold to you once you catch up. It is obvious that he wants to play you and force you to quit by such cold and violent means.
Revenge: There will be all kinds of problems in the relationship. When neither of us knows how to solve it, there will be more and more problems, which will lead to deeper and deeper grievances. I feel that I have suffered, and finally I want to punish you with cold violence.
However, a cold and violent man will not always be like this, but at some point, the corrected man is worth saving.
Deal with cold and violent men in the right way!
1. Express your feelings to the other party in time.
People who suffer from cold violence are really sad, and even think of cold storage methods. Even if you use this method, the victim will become an abuser, just like him. For example, you can gently say to each other:
You have been busy for several days, and I am so sad. Can you talk to me? Remember not to be deadlocked with each other and not to express anger with sadness. You can express your feelings in time and slowly arouse his desire to protect you. Gentleness is one of the most destructive weapons for women.
2. Express recognition and understanding of the other party.
You realize that the other party is cold and violent, and you understand and temporarily accept the other party's cold violence, but all you can do is guide the other party. What you want to express is to understand his indifference now and to give him time to adjust, not to blame and make noise. Your understanding is to relieve his psychological defense.
3. Create meeting opportunities and improve communication.
During the cold violence, when you can ask him out, you should create more opportunities to meet and communicate your problems calmly.
Is a cold and violent man worth saving? First of all, we must understand that cold violence is not a long-term behavior, but can be changed. As long as you guide him with your heart, it is worth saving.
Is the cold violent man worth saving? What is cold violence and how to deal with it?
Another name for cold violence is "emotional killer". More than 80% couples break up because of cold violence after quarreling. There are also many couples who divorce because of the cold violence of one party.
In fact, many times, people need a calm process. Calm and cold violence are not the same. Calm means after an argument. Wait until you calm down and think of something.
Cold violence refers to solving it by escaping, not wanting to face it and showing a state of letting go. Therefore ... people who are cold and violent are people with strong self-esteem and weak personality. (Emotional counseling can be accompanied by a tutor/letter:)
The main situation of cold violence:
First, domestic cold violence refers to the behavior that when there is a contradiction between husband and wife, they are indifferent to each other, try to reduce language communication, stop or perfunctory sexual life, and are lazy to do housework.
The second is cold violence in the workplace. The source of cold violence in the general workplace comes from old employees. They have two attitudes towards newcomers. One is that newcomers have no experience, so old employees hold empiricism and turn a blind eye to newcomers.
Another reason is that old employees are not confident, and newcomers are always strong, with higher work enthusiasm and wider knowledge. Old employees are afraid that new people will cast a shadow over them, so they begin to treat new people violently in an uncooperative and indifferent way.
The third is emotional cold violence. Suddenly, he is busy and you start asking questions. If you don't practice actively, he won't contact.
When you start saying that we broke up, he will make it up. It will be better for you, but this stage usually lasts for a short time. Then, your news began to sink into the sea. You can never get through by calling him. When you said goodbye, he responded with silence.
Whether it is family cold violence, workplace cold violence, or emotional cold violence. It's actually a kind of mental abuse. So how do we deal with cold violence?
Domestic cold violence
Most people who encounter family "cold violence" have the feeling that there is no one to sue, no place to break, and no law to follow.
If couples don't want to talk, they can communicate in other ways, such as sending text messages, writing emails, or writing down what they want to say to each other on paper;
You can communicate step by step from your child's study life; As the oppressed party, we should learn to make ourselves happy, constantly enrich ourselves and enhance our self-worth; Care about each other in the details of life, etc.
Before getting married, we should fully understand each other's growth background and see if the other family has a history of domestic violence, because domestic violence is "hereditary". Nowadays, young people should take marriage seriously and not be willful, otherwise it will be too late to regret the problem.
Cold violence in the workplace
Most cold violence in the workplace is the boss's dissatisfaction with his subordinates' work.
This is not in the overall interests of the company. There is nothing wrong with this starting point, but the method is wrong. The boss can't help but allow his subordinates to make mistakes, but the number and degree of mistakes should have a bottom line.
Moreover, when employees make achievements, the boss must encourage employees to make them better from the perspective of appreciating employees, rather than blindly finding fault.
After an employee makes a mistake, he can talk to him alone at an appropriate time, ask the reasons for the failure and give suggestions and methods, so that the employee will have a sense of belonging to the company and be more willing to do his best to fight for the interests of the company.
When employees encounter criticism, don't have an antagonistic mentality with superiors, do more self-reflection, or actively communicate with leaders to express their confusion and seek help to avoid negative mentality.
Emotional cold violence
As for emotional cold violence, there is basically no solution. When this happens to one party. The only possibility is that he has stopped loving.
I just can't find the right reason to tell you. Your existence is like chicken ribs to him. Eating is tasteless, but it is a pity to abandon it.
When you broke up, he did it out of redemption for your previous feelings. But he won't care about you as much as before.
So ... When your partner starts to be cold and violent to you. Let go. Otherwise. Finally, I was injured and embarrassed.
Cold violence is a new type of violence in 2 1 century. Worse than behavioral violence.
Give you a cold treatment. Let your mind be destroyed and your spirit tortured. Communication is the solution to cold violence.
If you can, please don't use cold violence against people around you. Reject cold violence and start with me.
Is a cold and violent man worth saving? 3. What is cold domestic violence?
To put it bluntly, "domestic cold violence" refers to the informal tendency of violence shown by husband and wife when they have disputes with each other, such as indifference and indifference to each other, minimizing language communication, terminating or perfunctory husband and wife's life and being too lazy to do any housework.
Cold domestic violence is the personal behavior of this kind of domestic violence, which is different from the visible physical destruction. It is based on threats, language attacks, economic development and performance manipulation, rather than just destroying each other with mental disintegration. The great mental stress caused by this method will make the other party close to collapse, accompanied by bad emotions and distrust in marriage life, which will eventually lead to the end of marriage life.
It is particularly noteworthy that such heinous crimes are mostly committed by men against women, and in the event of cold violence, both sides often become the other side of the explosive force. Especially when both men and women are lost in their work and under excessive pressure, the personal behavior of women's cold violence is far more harmful than explosive force.
Domestic cold violence is actually this kind of mental abuse. Both husband and wife are victims of cold violence and mutual destruction. Usually, it will inadvertently spread domestic cold violence to children at home, and the harm to the next generation is also potential and unpredictable.
This explosive force is usually mainly manifested in the differences between husband and wife resorting to force, but it is manipulated in economy and performance according to the implied threats and language attacks. Mutual intention to destroy each other with mental disintegration, so that marriage life is in this long-term abnormal state. In a sense, this kind of mental disintegration and destruction is much more terrible than physical injury. People who are in cold violence often feel wronged and controlled, their emotions become more and more sensitive and excited, and they are often in a lonely psychological state.
Second, how to retain a cold and violent marriage?
1, put your own must first. Stop pleasing or defending the abuser's personal behavior and give priority to taking care of and defending his own demands.
2. Ignore the anger of the abuser. If the abuser tries to annoy you or is willing to win you over, ignore it, don't fight back angrily, don't defend yourself, and don't apologize to the abuser.
Don't fantasize that you can "cure" the abuser. You are unlikely to change the abuser's personal behavior or the basic theory between the two. The abuser must spontaneously discover that his personal behavior is incorrect and take the initiative to correct it, so as to end the cycle of sadism. Don't let unsuccessful "correction" and "salvation" damage your mentality.
Step 4 ask for help. Talk to someone you trust (relatives, friends, professionals) and ask for help.
It is difficult to keep a cold and violent marriage. Because there is no communication with each other, the problem needs to be solved urgently Therefore, in the long-term cold violence, many people choose divorce because they can't stand the pressure of mental work. Therefore, before the cold violence is caused, it is recommended that everyone take precautions and communicate well between husband and wife.