2. Ask your girlfriend today: "How many exes do you have!" My girlfriend told me that we could gather together a table of mahjong. I instinctively said, "Me too.
Four seniors. As a result, she told me: a table of mahjong is not for playing mahjong! Oh, I'll go. Are you kidding?
3. Woman: Husband, which part of my body do you like best? Man: Chin! W: What if I choose two? Man: Chin, your double chin really fascinates me!
4. "A cigarette after a meal is better than a living fairy!" This statement proved to be wrong. Because, after that
After more than ten years of follow-up investigation, I finally found that there are no immortals in the world.
5. Advise all boys and friends not to find you attractive just because you have an appointment with a girl outside social software. Actually not, as long as you can make an appointment, gnome male-",so can I!
6. "Say something heavy, such as your weight!" After a moment's silence, my sister replied, "This is too heavy. Say something superficial, such as your IQ!" " "
7. When we were young, we all made mistakes and always put them away.
Girls in their twenties are called aunts, and boys are called uncles, so now they all deserve it, and they will have to pay it back sooner or later!
Eight. Twice as much as last year.
Eleven, my wife stayed up all night, first
Two days later, I asked with trepidation: You robbed all night, how much did you buy? Wife:
five
Six hundred! I think it's acceptable. I didn't expect my wife to say:
five
600 bills! I hope this year is really
five
600 yuan!
Nine. "Today, a sister said I was sunny. Hey, do you think I'm interesting? " "Come on, in fact, what she means is that you look dazzling and ugly." 10. Looking for a girlfriend, looking for someone who doesn't like makeup. Occasionally, I feel heartache! Find an ordinary makeup artist, and if you don't draw once in a while, you will die suddenly! 1 1. Go to a company for an interview. You brag about yourself very well on your resume, and you also talk about yourself very badly in the interview! sequence
The next day, the personnel called to say that you passed, and our unit needs a shameless young man like you!
12. When others get on the bus and practice driving, the first sentence is "strike a light, step on the clutch, put in gear, loosen the clutch and start." And when I get on the bus and practice driving, the first sentence is usually "get out of the way!" " Get out of the way. Get out of the way. "
Thirteen. My son was caught by his mother playing games. Mom is very angry. Mom: "if you don't work hard, you will be as useless as your father in the future." If you find a bad job, you can't get a good wife. " Dad: "After all these years, you finally admit it."
Fourteen. My colleague said happily, "The children born to my ex-girlfriend are especially like me!" The female colleague opposite calmly said, "She must have married your mother's ex-boyfriend."
15. Watch Internet TV. The most painful thing is that you read it.
More than 70 seconds of advertising, as a result, you found that this episode has been seen! What is more painful is to wait again.
In 70 seconds, I found that I couldn't catch up with the plot of the last episode and looked back again.
70 seconds advertisement ...
16. When it rains heavily, no matter how leisurely a person walks in the rain, it seems a bit awkward, and no matter how awkward two people run together, it is a bit romantic. So one can't even get wet.
Every time you go shopping, people will tell you that if you really want it, I will give you a cheaper price. You see, sincerity is so worthless!
Eighteen. get up
Trilogy: the bell rings
Five minutes, still sleeping; another
Five minutes, ready for action; finally
Five minutes, emergency action.
19. I had dinner last night and ordered two dishes in the restaurant outside. A beggar came over and kept asking for money. I teased him that I was a beggar, so I changed my clothes and went out to eat. He looked at my order and said, it seems that your business is not very good today!
two
10. I always like to shoot short videos and send them online. Let me summarize a truth. No matter how good your marksmanship is, you can't compare with the shy voice of a girl named Lori: Brother! Oh, that praise is really enviable!