Case 1: forced communication
When my daughter Tong Tong was 2 years old, I realized that she should make more friends by reading, so I always say hello to the children with great enthusiasm. But Tong Tong just doesn't like talking, so if she gets impatient, I will speak for her. If she doesn't want to play games, I will take part in it for her, and Tong Tong always follows silently. Later, I found out that when Tong Tong was alone, she didn't know what she was playing. She was particularly concerned about whether others regarded her as a friend. After going to kindergarten, she often said that she didn't want to go to kindergarten because she had no good friends. I began to realize that I forced my child to associate, which brought her deep anxiety and anxiety.
I won't force Tong Tong any more. I'll take her out and slowly guide her to play by herself. My transformation has also brought about the transformation of my children. She has become more and more confident, and it is natural to say hello to children, and her friends have gradually increased. This incident made me deeply feel that every child has his unique personality, he needs to grow up at his own pace, and his parents only need to take care of him properly, instead of interfering or even arranging his life.
Case 2: Why not give it to grandparents?
My nephew is always willing to share good things with me, and my father is "very picky": "Everything should be given to my aunt, and my grandparents don't want to taste it. The child lived in vain. " In fact, my nephew used to be very generous, and he was willing to share anything delicious with his grandparents. But his grandparents often tease him: "Give them something delicious!" The child's hand was handed over at once, and they quickly said, "Grandpa and grandma don't eat, eat by yourself!" " "After a few times, the child is no longer serious. When my nephew shares it with me, I will thank him and share it with him sincerely. I also praised his delicious dishes, and my nephew was happy to share them with me. Dad even blamed me and said, "why do adults still eat children's food!" "
Case 3: Can children who "encourage others" be happy?
It is important for children who are about to enter primary school to develop good study habits, but many parents attach too much importance to knowledge and skills. "Teacher, did you learn the decomposition of 7 today? Why are there only two kinds of children coming back? My friend's child learned the decomposition of 13. Is she too stupid? What if primary school can't keep up? Today, I taught her to know clocks. I have taught her many times, but she doesn't know them. I also made a video. Why do you think her performance is like this? ! "In the video, the child is crying hard on the table. Reminiscent of normal times, the little girl flinched when she encountered a little difficulty in class: "Teacher, this is too difficult, I don't want to participate." I finally understand, living in such an urgent, anxious and negative environment, can children be confident?
Case 4: Snails take me for a walk.
As usual in the morning, I urged my son to get up quickly and go to kindergarten so that he could practice driving and take the exam the next day. I was anxious, only to find that my son was brushing his teeth and standing in front of the toy rack playing with toys. I shouted his name in anger and patted his ass. My son was startled by my sudden move, and stood there stupidly, with fear in his eyes and an unfinished magnetic bar in his hand. After my criticism, my son said timidly, "Mom, I want to spell a sunflower. If you make a wish on a sunflower, you will surely pass the exam tomorrow. " I froze, handfuls of him in my arms, speechless.
The pressure of work and life often makes me physically and mentally exhausted, impetuous and anxious, and it is inevitable to take it out on my son. But my "little snail" ironed my impetuous heart with his love and kindness.
Case 5: Give children a happy childhood.
Before my daughter blossoming was born, I began to plan her future. Reading from 7 months, all furniture is labeled with Chinese characters; She was taught to recite word for word from San Qian to Tang poetry. Duoduo has a good memory and can recite quickly and accurately. This makes me very proud. But when she was 3 years old, the problem came: she was too quiet, and all the children of her age were playing outside, but she was reading in the corner alone. This made me start to reflect: Will my haste ruin her happy childhood? When I was a child, my friends and I played happily and got close to the magical nature ... What was the early education? Where can you hear anything? I'm fine now, aren't I
I decided to change and stop forcing blossoming to learn too much redundant knowledge, but blossoming has always been among the best. Looking at those free and happy smiling faces every day, I feel extremely satisfied.
Case 6: Don't let compulsory learning take away the happiness of childhood.
Driven by the mentality of "I hope my children will succeed", I gave my children a lot of compulsory "love". For example, on weekends, I arranged a whole day of classes for him, which made him breathless. If he regresses a little, I will be furious and even use domestic violence. I often see resentment and dissatisfaction in children's eyes. Whenever a child is bored, I always persuade and give material rewards, and impose what I think is "special love" on him. Until one day, I found that matter was no longer attractive, and he began to try his best to avoid me. "Learning" has ruthlessly opened the distance between me and my children.
I also want to be a "loving mother", but in fact I am a "violent mother" and can't control my emotions. Am I too selfish and utilitarian? !
I attended the training of educational psychology last year. I learned a lot and found the direction of love again. As a mother, we should let our children learn actively under the impetus of interest, instead of imposing their wishes on them and let them live in an anxious and tense atmosphere. I want to change, starting with letting go of expectations and respecting children's interests.
Case 7: Don't let excessive praise numb children.
Mingming likes painting very much. But when he exhibited his works, he pouted and said, "No matter what I draw, the teacher will say that it is really good." Xiao Hai (a child in the class) doodles colors, and the teacher will praise her and give her the same prize as me. Really boring! "
Wei Wei was also exaggerated by her parents since she was a child. When she laughs occasionally, everyone appreciates it: "The baby laughs so beautifully!" She babbled, and everyone praised her: "The baby is so smart!" Even when you lose your temper, you don't forget to appreciate: "Vivian has a real personality!" However, as she grew up, her parents and teachers gradually discovered a serious problem: Vivian only wanted to listen to good words, not any criticism, and could not stand a little setback.
In the class I have taken, many children are prone to self-righteousness in blind praise and affirmation, and even appear depressed, angry, shrinking or hostile behavior, while parents are unaware of it.
Case 8: Is the bowl broken or heartbroken?
Once my daughter accidentally broke a bowl, and the small materials in the bowl splashed all over me. I couldn't help shouting. My daughter looked at the frightened' me' and the broken bowl and said to me timidly, "Mom, hit me!" " Her expression and words told me that she knew she was wrong. Why should I blame her again? So I smiled and said to her, "Mom forgave you. Be careful next time! " "My daughter smiled again and said gratefully," Well, Mom, I remember! ""So I played happily again.
Looking back on what she said afterwards, I was quite surprised. Why did she let me hit her? Do I usually love her too much? How many times, when I was doing housework and my daughter didn't mean to "add chaos", I would scold her impatiently; How many times, when I came home from work tired, my daughter asked me to study, and I refused her without looking up; How many times does my daughter dawdle, I will "carry" her downstairs while blaming her ... My daughter is afraid of making her mother angry, and she is even more afraid of her mother's blame and punishment.
If you break a bowl, you can buy another one. If you break a child's heart, it will be irreparable. As parents, more tolerance and patience can help children build a strong heart.
Case 9: "Filling the duck" can't make up for the blank of love.
I once met such a mother on my way to work. She looks very learned and keeps telling her children all kinds of knowledge, but this knowledge is obviously beyond the scope of children's understanding. As a result, the children rarely responded, not even a look. Who knows how much the children have listened to?
Another time in the library, I saw a mother reading and telling stories to four or five-year-old children, one after another, her voice almost speechless. Judging from the child's dull eyes, he has long been tired of listening.
I can't help feeling that these mothers are selfless and seem to want to pour all their money into their children's world, hoping that their children can absorb it at once and grow up quickly. However, in fact, the children were stuffed with ducks and didn't even have a chance to breathe. Finally, he became numb and bored, and became a puppet in his mother's hands.
Case 10: I want to draw a different cow.
Today, the children are going to draw cows. I asked the children to observe pictures and template paintings about cows, and then began to draw.
"Come and see, the smiling cow has thorns." All the children gather together. "The cowshed she painted is a mess!" "How can you draw a child's hand with a grass to feed the cow? ..... ""Your painting is different from the teacher's! " The children were talking and I went over. It's a little awkward to laugh. I encourage Xiaoxiao to talk about her paintings. "This is a cow hair. My grandmother's cows have a lot of hair. " "This is a grass fence, where the grass is put, and where grandma's cow grass is put." "My grandfather drives the cows to the river to drink water every noon. The child I painted is me. "
Every child is a unique, creative and thoughtful individual. Smiling painting makes me reflect on artistic activities, and I don't need model painting to bind children's thinking.
Experience comes from life, and real experience can stimulate children's creative enthusiasm far more than pictures and model paintings. I want to create more conditions for children, enrich their life experiences, increase their perceptual knowledge and let them have more wonderful performances!
Case 1 1: You also have a pair of free wings.
Weiwei is disabled, one eye is blind, and the right leg is congenitally missing. I just had a major operation a few months before I entered the park, and now I am not stable in walking and weak in language expression. As a small class teacher, out of sympathy and love, I pay special attention to him and take care of him. Wherever I go, I always hold his hand for fear that something will happen to him. But this time, I found his little hand slip away quietly and said to me in an unclear voice, "Teacher, I want to play, too."
My heart thumped. Did my special care for him bind him or even hurt his self-esteem? The "wounded bird" also has its own small wish. He also wants to play, imagine and fly like his peers. I want to take care of him, exercise him slowly, let him adapt to the kindergarten environment, and let him grow up healthily with his children in this environment; I also want to encourage other children to learn to help friends in need and create a happy atmosphere of equality and harmony.
Case 12: Don't worry! Listen to the children.
One night, I came out of the kitchen and saw my 3-year-old daughter spread a big bath towel on the floor and jumped on it herself. I just washed this bath towel today and brought it back. She actually ... I'm so anxious and angry that I'm going to scold my daughter. She said to me excitedly, "Mom, look, I am dancing on the cloud!" " "Looking at her little face flushed with excitement, I froze, and I couldn't scold any more. I held back my inner shock and sat down to watch my daughter dance. She jumped, turned and rolled on a big bath towel. That kind of intoxicated eyes, as if you are really above the clouds, swaying freely in the beautiful sky. It was a long time before she stopped and climbed into my arms. I can't help but sigh and thank my daughter for expressing herself in time, so that I can enjoy the beautiful cloud dance tonight.