From small to large, he has been "turning a deaf ear to things outside the window and burying his head in reading textbooks". He likes studying and gets excellent grades. There is a whole wall at home to carry his brilliant learning history.
On holidays, the eldest cousin will be pulled out by the elders at home as an example to learn from, and then the elders will severely crack down and profoundly educate our other younger generations. It can be said that a large part of all our childhood shadows are related to our big cousin.
This situation continued until the big cousin graduated from high school.
In the first year of college entrance examination, he happened to have a bad cold for a few days, but he just happened to find a line. This is naturally unacceptable to my cousin who has always taken the 985 college as the basic starting point. He plunged into the re-reading team without even filling in his volunteers.
That year, his weight was successfully reduced from 190 kg to 140 kg. Everyone, including himself, thinks that at least the top ten universities in China have no chance to run, let alone Tsinghua Peking University.
It can be a trick, the score is out, and there are still a few points in the score offline.
Although the elders at home are comforting each other, they also secretly whisper behind their backs: this child didn't do well in the exam, but he still couldn't understand the dead book ... My aunt didn't want him to bear too much psychological pressure and didn't want him to continue to repeat.
I don't know how my big cousin got through that time. He shut himself in his room all day, and when he came out, he told his parents that he wouldn't do it again, which reassured my aunt and them.
I asked him why he gave up, and my big cousin said there was no need to waste time and youth here, and there would be opportunities in the future.
In fact, I know that a large part of the reason is that he doesn't want to worry his parents.
At the end of the summer vacation, my big cousin dragged the box to Jishou University.
During his college years, although he can still often hear the news that he has won various scholarships, his elders no longer regard him as "someone else's child" after all.
In his senior year, he took part in the postgraduate entrance examination, and he set his goal at the top school of his major-Shanghai University of Finance and Economics. I was defeated in the first year, but because of my excellent grades, a bank extended an olive branch to him after graduation. My aunt and they were naturally very happy, but no matter how to persuade her, my eldest cousin, who has always been obedient and obedient, resolutely refused.
Later, because of this incident, the family became more and more noisy, and many relatives joined the persuasion camp. Big cousin simply returned to Jishou with a box, rented a house next to the school and concentrated on the postgraduate entrance examination.
165438+ 10 That year, my classmates and I traveled to Phoenix and passed through Jishou. At a hot pot restaurant next to the station, my big cousin entertained us. I asked him how he was doing, and he answered everything with a "fine".
Actually, I know it's not good It is obvious that his eyes are a little tired and thinner than before. No one will think of him now. He used to be a big fat man weighing more than 190 kg.
I hesitated several times on the way to the station to change trains. Finally, he saw the clue and said with a smile, "Do you want to say why I would rather live like this than listen to your aunt and choose to work in a bank?"
I said euphemistically, "I just think that if I had worked at that time, the precipitation in a few years might not be too bad."
He looked at me a few times and said, "You're right, it can't be too bad. But I am also right, because I want to be better. "
I asked cautiously, "What are you going to do if you don't pass the exam again?"
He paused and said, "I know you all think I'm paranoid, but I'm not. I just don't allow myself to choose to compromise or give up when I am still struggling. "
After getting on the bus, I watched his thin body wrapped in a red and black down jacket, set foot on the road back alone, and finally slowly melted into the bustling crowd in Zaixi.
He may not have much love for this city, and his dream is the only reason why he stays here.
At that moment, I suddenly felt a little moved and sad.
The classmate in the same trade said, "Actually, your cousin didn't lie to you. He is really nice, just like our trip. No matter how tired we are, we all feel happy. We can't understand the pleasure of his constant struggle for the beliefs in our hearts. "
Maybe God is addicted to joking with him, and my big cousin failed in the second postgraduate entrance examination. At this time, the parents and elders at home stopped talking, just silently shook their heads and sighed for his decision to refuse the bank at that time.
Although he chose to refuse to adjust again, he did not say that he would continue to insist. But quietly found a job in Changsha. Like ordinary office workers, his salary is 3000 yuan, from nine to five. The only difference is that in this city known as the "entertainment capital", after work, he does not yearn for the nightlife that others are keen on, but chooses to bury himself in his dream in his room.
The lucky god finally arrived after the third postgraduate entrance examination, and he received the admission notice of Shangcai. I congratulated him and said, "Congratulations on being another child."
Big cousin smiled and joked mysteriously: "This is only the halfway, but it is not the end."
Sure enough, a few years later, he received an admission notice from Stanford University.
At the family celebration dinner, the big cousin was dressed in a greasy back and a suit and tie, and everyone loved him.
Suddenly remembered that year in Jishou South Bus Station, his eyes were full of fatigue, wrapped in a red and black down jacket, waving goodbye to me in the cold wind.
If it weren't for that vivid scene, I almost forgot that he once put himself in a small town on the border of western Hunan, just to keep himself away from gossip, how he endured loneliness alone and how he struggled with the whole world alone.
Perhaps, this is the world.
At the moment when others reach the peak, we are used to admiring his brilliant light, but we can't try to look behind him when he comes, to explore the direction where he comes. There are really secrets and treasures that help him soar.
On the road of dreams, you are full of longing and high spirits. But slowly, you shake your initial belief, and your eyes gradually lose their former clarity. Even one day, when you pick up the drumstick nailed to your waist, you find that it has been corroded in the wind and rain of reality. Finally, you collapsed in the crowd next to you, looked at your bloody wound in horror and fled in a hurry.
You sit where you are and try to comfort yourself. Success only comes from God's care. Dreams can only be dreams, and the disillusionment of dreams is proof of growth.
But you never thought that behind any confident and calm smile, there was no sweat and tears. The reason why spring is so warm is precisely because it has gone through the bleak winter.
Don't shout pain, don't shout fatigue, don't scold the cruelty of reality, and don't denounce the injustice of God. Why should reality be gentle with you? God has no time to treat you unfairly.
Only the weak are used to the dream that they can't persist and are erased by reality as the reason why the world deceives themselves. The strong, however, turned their dreams into chicken soup in the eyes of others.