2. If a woman is over 40, a man can still hold your little face and look at you patiently for half an hour. Maybe it's just the dentist!
3. Following a big car and trying to overtake, the coach said, "If you want to overtake, stick your head out and see if there is a car coming." I let out a cry and stuck my head out of the window. The coach was silent for 2 seconds and roared, "I said the front!" I still can't forget the laughter of my brothers and sisters in the back row!
4. Why do some people ask for dozens of items when looking for someone? My mate selection criteria are three words: please.
Although twisted melon is not sweet, sometimes I don't care whether it is sweet or not. I just want to screw it off. I'll be happy if I screw it off.
Losing weight is actually very simple. You should exercise hard every day, don't eat greasy food, and stick to it day after day and year after year. When you look in the mirror again, you will find that plastic surgery is more important to you than losing weight.
Seven. I suddenly felt uncomfortable at work, took a half-day leave, and came out after the leave. Ok. The whole person has been refreshed, and I have never understood why.
I am not a vain person. I hate villas, sports cars, designer bags, clothes and shoes. I only like money.
9. Some people are good at geography, physics, history, mathematics, Chinese, English and chemistry. And I have a good attitude.
10. Ugly children should run like hell, because they are fast and have double images, so others can't see Zhang Chou's face clearly.
1 1. Time is a butcher knife. Tell it to beautiful people. For ugly people, time can't do anything about them.
Twelve. I used to have poor skills and was often scolded by my friends. I was so strong that I hid and practiced hard for a month. Now they can't scold me.
Thirteen. Besides the rich, there are two kinds of people in the world: those who pinch and scrape to buy luxury goods and pretend to be rich, and those who pinch and scrape to buy luxury goods.
14. It is said that men have gold under their knees. I'm grinding my skin, and I can't even find a piece of iron!
Fifteen. "The wolf is coming!" The child said it three times, but no one believed it. "The teacher is coming!" I said it again and again, and finally found something more terrible than a wolf.
Sixteen years old. When I was a child, I secretly vowed to be a talented person in the future. After years of hard work, we finally achieved half of it. I am ... I am awesome now.
17. You are so beautiful. Thank your parents first. If they didn't give you a pair of skillful hands, could you make yourself so beautiful?
18. Many people say that if you can't tell fortune, you will get thinner and thinner. However, sometimes we have to believe. The fortune teller used to say that I was 27 years old and wore a yellow robe. Every day, there is food and transportation. It's so accurate to deliver takeout in the US Mission now!
19. White shirts are prone to yellowing, and ordinary washing powder is difficult to wash off, which makes many people feel headache. Here's a hint: take some painkillers before washing your white shirt, and your head will be less painful.
20. At your age, you have mastered a specialty without learning other skills. You can sleep well without sleeping pills during the day and get excited without stimulants at night.
Twenty one. Just now, my other half suddenly sent me a short message saying that we were going to break up. Before I could feel sad, he sent me another sentence, "I'm sorry, I sent it to the wrong person." Scared me to death. I thought we were really breaking up.
22. Don't panic when life is not smooth. Looking at my wallet and savings, I cried.
23. Wife: Husband, the typhoon is coming! You must hold me tight. What will they do if I blow into other people's homes? Husband: You can forget it! Just like you, people will send you back against the wind!
24. People who like you will tell you that I took a shower, and then they will say that I finished taking a shower. People who don't like you say that I will die in the bathroom if I take a shower.