I accidentally brushed a piece of news recently.

A mother forced her daughter to jump rope three thousand times a day to make her grow taller. Unexpectedly, my daughter was seriously injured in her legs and knees and needed surgery.

For a time, my mother was remorseful and blamed herself for her irrational words and deeds.

Girl 13 years old, having her period at the beginning of the year. Her mother was worried that she would not grow tall, so she thought of the simplest and healthiest skipping exercise, thinking that skipping more rope could increase her height and lose weight.

Mom said, "I just want her to be taller, thinner and more beautiful."

Mother's original intention is very good, but what she doesn't know is that any excessive exercise will bring harm to the child.

At first, my mother asked her daughter to jump 1000 times a day, rain or shine. With the arrival of summer vacation, children spend more time at home and the number of skipping ropes has increased to 3000 times a day.

Although the daughter can understand her mother's painstaking efforts, the pain in her left knee that followed made her unbearable.

She told her mother about her physical pain, but her mother disagreed, thinking that her daughter wanted to be lazy and refused to take her to the hospital.

Finally, the mother and daughter came to the hospital, and the doctor diagnosed the child's leg injury, and the mother regretted it.

Many netizens said that it was the mother's ignorance that harmed the child. And one of them praised the reply: the child said that his leg hurts, and his mother thinks it is lazy. He doesn't trust children at all, or parents?

I'm impressed.

Temporary physical pain can be tolerated, but the harm caused by parents' distrust is the child's eternal sorrow.

Educator Suhomlinski once said:

"Please take good care of this delicate flower and let the children trust you like the most precious wealth. It is easily destroyed, dried up, and destroyed by the poison of distrust. "

Children's greatest misfortune is not that their parents lack material resources, nor that they have knowledge, but that they cannot be trusted by their parents.

I once watched an issue of Please Answer the Teacher, and a family of three came to participate in the program.

Children accuse their parents of not trusting themselves, and parents worry that their children will be disobedient.

Child 12 years old, just graduated from primary school, cheerful and lively. Greet the teacher politely as soon as you come on stage. It looks very likable.

The children's parents have a successful career and love their children very much, but the way parents educate their children is embarrassing.

The father of the child is silent and will not express his feelings for the child.

Mother, a veritable "helicopter" mother, hovers over the child's head all the time. Besides supervising children's daily life at home, I also accompany them to cram school and do their homework.

Mother said, "I'm worried about children being playful." If I don't stare, my child will be unconscious. "

What is even more incredible is that in order to monitor the situation of children coming home from school, the mother installed a pinhole camera at home.

Once, the child stole a mobile phone game while his mother was not looking. As a result, the mother told the teacher about it after reprimanding the child.

Since that incident, the relationship between mother and child has also dropped to freezing point. Children no longer trust their mothers and often peek at their mother's mobile phone chat records.

Trust is mutual. Parents don't trust their children, and children don't trust their parents.

In the long run, children who lose trust feel that their parents are not trustworthy. They learn to be perfunctory and deal with it, but they can't trust others.

British educator Spencer once said: "When children feel love and trust, miracles will soon appear in front of your eyes."

The distrust of parents, however, is like a dark cloud on the head, which makes the child's life lose its due glory and no longer appear miracles.

Some time ago, Weibo's last topic, "What does it feel like to be distrusted by parents", caused a heated discussion among netizens.

The blogger accused her mother of not trusting her since she was a child, which left a shadow on her growth path and led to the formation of unconfident, inferior and sensitive personality in adulthood.

The blogger had a final exam in the third grade, but he didn't receive it because other students received the notice. His mother suspected that he deliberately kept it from his parents.

The mother ignored the crying children and called the teachers and classmates one by one. Bloggers feel completely distrusted.

There are more serious times. In the sixth grade of primary school, the blogger caught a cold and felt chest tightness and shortness of breath, but his mother suspected that he wanted to skip class.

Later, at the request of the blogger, her mother took her to see a doctor and was diagnosed with myocarditis. The doctor suggested that classes should be suspended immediately.

The mother was worried that the child would skip class, but she still let him continue the class.

Finally, blogger myocarditis missed the best treatment time, leaving a sequela.

As an adult, his mother's distrust of bloggers increased. He was so sad that he doubted himself, and now he is insensitive.

Those distrustful memories are deeply rooted in children's hearts and become inferior and sensitive.

I saw a short film in a survey company in Taiwan Province Province and asked a dozen middle-aged parents about their dissatisfaction with their parents.

The results show that most investigators think that parents' biggest regret is that they don't trust themselves.

They said: I hate that my mother keeps calling me, reading, reading, reading. Why don't you believe I can study hard?

As long as my cousin does well in the exam, I'm finished, so sometimes I secretly change my grades.

My father forced me to play the electronic organ. Actually, there is another painful thing. I have told him many times that I don't like playing the piano, and he doesn't believe me.

Respondents believe that they might do better today if they were given more space.

Trust brings freedom, and the trust of parents determines the height of children's freedom.

The famous "Rosenthal effect" in psychology shows that only when parents trust their children and their children get positive feedback can life develop in a positive direction.

The trust of parents leads children to a positive life. And those children who are not trusted will also become weak and inferior.

The actress Ma Yili once talked about the way her parents taught her: trust.

Ma Yili's parents, who haven't graduated from junior high school, can't provide better economic conditions, but they have one thing, especially their daughter.

Ma Yili got a "bad" grade in senior one, and his father asked the teacher directly why.

The teacher said that she had puppy love with "many boys", but the teacher could only write the name of one classmate.

Dad said to the teacher, "I know my daughter best. I'd better talk to the principal."

After learning this, Ma Yili was very grateful to her father and made up her mind: "I want to remind myself to be more conscious and let my parents trust me more."

In the end, Ma Yili grew up in a trusting family environment and became a tough, strong and independent person.

The trust of parents is the biggest self-driving force of children. He can inspire children's small universe.

Educator Tao Xingzhi said: "The whole secret of educating children lies in trusting them. Trust can make people have a strong sense of responsibility, fully tap their potential and release energy. "

Parents' trust in their children will be like an energy, pushing them to fly on the road of life and escalating their blame.

In daily life, parents know how to let go, tolerate and encourage appropriately, which is the best trust for their children.

1. Parents should let go appropriately and let their children learn to be independent.

It is said that parents who do not know how to let go cannot raise promising children. Parents do everything, which hinders children's chances of independent growth.

In daily life, parents should believe that their children can go to sleep after waking up, choose their favorite food and have the ability to control money.

One of my girlfriends once shared that when she often took her children shopping, she gave them some pocket money control, or let them refer to their own decision to buy things and give them a chance to make a decision.

Over time, children learn to control money independently, and when they grow up, they can arrange their own affairs in order.

Parents' trust helps children learn to be independent and feel their own value.

2. Parents' tolerance makes children not afraid of making mistakes.

In the book How to Raise Successful People, the author Esther once said: "The purpose of punishment is to strengthen trust, not to save it." And share stories about how to treat lying children.

Once, a little boy lied that he was going to accompany his classmates, but he was actually playing in the mall.

When Esther knew this, she said with a straight face, I got you. You have to buy me a biscuit. I know what you did, but I forgive you this time.

Esther punished the children in a humorous way, and the children accepted it happily, but the trust between them remained.

Many times, parents just start to trust their children. Once the child made a small mistake, the parents immediately took back their trust and said bitterly, "I don't trust you anymore."

Parents tolerate their children and strengthen their trust, and children trust their parents more.

3. Parents' encouragement makes children progress.

Some people say, "gentle encouragement and love are the best gifts on the road to growth."

My daughter was always shy when she met strangers before, but I never hit her on this matter.

Once, when I was taking her out, I met my neighbor's children next door. I gave her a candy and motioned her to say hello to the children.

She timidly walked over, handed the candy to the children and turned and ran back.

When I came back, I encouraged her to say, "You are great. Give candy to the children and you will have more and more friends in the future. "

From then on, she began to slowly wave hello to adults or children.

To encourage a child is to see the child's slight progress, find her advantages and praise her.

Children are recognized by their parents and their sense of self-worth is enhanced. When I grow up, my heart becomes sunny and positive.

With the encouragement of parents, children can become healthy, optimistic and confident people.

The author of Raising with High Emotional Intelligence wrote in the book: "If a child can't get the trust, love and growth strength of his parents, he will gradually become unconfident, cowardly and inferior, and he will be timid and hesitant in doing things."

Trusting children is the background that parents should have and the easiest investment.

Children won't remember you because you provided rich materials, but they will remember the feeling that you trusted him.