Xia Hao fell in love with me at first sight, saying that he lost his mother at the age of 12, his father was busy at work, and a neighbor named Mei took care of him until 15.
Xia Hao said: "Sister Mei treated me very well, but after the whole family moved away, I lost contact. Later, when I was looking for a girlfriend, I always liked to find someone a few years older than me. "
Xia Hao also said that he didn't care that I was five years older than him. What he likes is my maturity and thoughtfulness. He is not inferior and poor than me, because he believes he has the ability to give me happiness.
After I broke up with my first boyfriend, it was not that I had never been in contact with the opposite sex younger than me, but that my advantages, such as maturity, were not in their consideration. They always think that since I am old, I need financial compensation, right? I did earn a little money through hard work, but I don't want to buy love with money.
All my friends say I am brave. After being with my first love for 8 years and being cheated for 5 years, I still believe that men believe in love.
I didn't refute, because I really like the sweetness of love and being loved, even though I have been abandoned and hurt by them. Moreover, when I go back to my hometown every Spring Festival, my parents always urge me to get married. I always think that women can earn more money no matter how strong they are at work, and they will fail before they get married at the age of 30, which makes them lose face.
After meeting Xia Hao, I think I am 30 years old. If I look back, I am not afraid of anything. I don't think I will ever get married, will I?
Xia Hao is very disciplined and considerate to me. Even if the salary is not high, he often buys me some fashionable clothes. Every time I put them on, others say they look good. His love and dedication are a ray of warm light. If I don't insist, I'll be crazy.
So, when Xia Hao suddenly pulled out a one-carat diamond ring and proposed to me, I nodded before he finished.
02
I have a house, and I am willing to pay for a big wedding myself.
However, Xia Hao said that he didn't want to be accused of eating soft rice. Not only did he insist that I move into his house, but he also wanted to make the wedding simple.
I understand a man's self-esteem, so I think we should listen to him first, and then slowly persuade him to move out.
However, on my wedding night, I was scared by Xia Hao's father. No, I was scared by my father-in-law!
Xia Hao's house is three rooms and two halls, and the fund-raising room of his father-in-law unit is very old. After Xia Hao decorated the house simply, we got married.
My father-in-law is a middle school teacher and has retired. He is introverted and does not like to talk.
After marriage, I shared a room with Xia Hao and Gong Gong, and the rest of the room was a guest room. The guest room has only one bed and no other furniture. Xia Hao said that this was arranged by his mother before his death. He and his father were used to it, so they never changed it.
That night, about three o'clock in the morning, I got up at night. Hearing a slight noise in the guest room, I walked over curiously and saw a woman in a floral dress with a white background standing by the window. The tiny moonlight spilled down and fell on her shawl long hair, which was a bit weird.
As I remember, there were no guests at home!
I thought I was dizzy and rubbed my eyes.
The man suddenly turned his face, looked at me stupefied, and then smiled. I just recognized that "she" turned out to be my father-in-law!
At that moment, I screamed subconsciously!
My father-in-law quickly covered my mouth and shouted, "Wife, don't scream! Wife, wife ... "
I am scared to death! Just when I was desperately trying to break free, I suddenly pulled over with my hand, and then I heard Xia Hao shout, "Dad, she is my wife! Not your wife! ! ! "
I threw myself into Xia Hao's arms and finally cried!
03
It was that night that I learned that not only my father-in-law, but also Xia Hao would dress up as a man at home, that is, she had a transvestite!
My father-in-law likes to dress up as a man when he is not married, and my mother-in-law will know when she is married. But she loved him so much that she accepted his hobby. Later, my mother-in-law died of illness, and my father-in-law never got married again, raising Xia Hao alone.
Xia Hao, influenced by his father since childhood, has gradually fallen in love with women disguised as men.
"My father often misses my mother, and my mother sometimes likes to rest in the guest room before she dies, so my father sometimes misses her, so he puts on the clothes she left behind and goes to the guest room to sit. In fact, my father and I only wear women's clothes in front of the closest people at home, but not outside. We are normal people and won't hurt you ... "
Xia Hao explained it carefully, and took me to his father's bedroom, opened his father's closet and showed me some women's clothes bought by his father and son.
I almost burst into tears again!
Yes, I really didn't expect that Xia Hao, handsome and masculine in front of the public, would have such a special unspeakable hobby!
Suddenly, I remembered that Xia Hao insisted on not moving into my house, but living with his father. In fact, he is not afraid of being called a soft rice, but because of this hobby?
Xia Hao lowered his head: "After I put on women's clothes at home, my father never talked about me again and dressed up with me. I'm used to the family atmosphere and my dad's approval, and I'm afraid I'll be uncomfortable after moving to your place. Also, since my mother died, my father's spirit is sometimes abnormal. I want to live at home and take care of him, so ... "
I smile bitterly! What else can I say? It turned out that Xia Hao deliberately concealed the secrets of himself and his father from the beginning! And I believed him foolishly, and I married myself in a hurry without giving myself more time to get to know him better!
At this time, Xia Hao's eyes were full of tears. He said, "Wife, I really love you. I also know that you love me, and I believe that you will understand and support me as my mother understands and supports my father, right? "
I really love Xia Hao. It's amazing that I divorced the day after my marriage. Maybe, if I give myself some time, can I really love my family and my dog like my mother-in-law? !
I nodded silently and hugged Xia Hao.
Xia Hao is in my arms, crying like a little boy!
At that moment, I felt that I had an obligation to protect him and hold him tighter!
04
My marriage, like this, began on that horrible night.
Probably because I acquiesced in Xia Hao's father and son's transvestite, my father-in-law's emotional intelligence seemed to be connected to several steps at once. His attitude towards me suddenly became humble. He always takes the lead in housework, praises me from time to time, and buys me a copy when he sees something interesting while shopping.
Even my own father has never cared so much about me. Therefore, my grandfather's kindness to me makes me vaguely uneasy.
Xia Hao said flatly, "My father wants to be so kind to a person, but he doesn't want to be so kind to a person." You will get used to it after a long time. Besides, I'm glad my father is good to you. "
I was silent, thinking, in this case, I will accept grandpa's kindness to me.
However, as time goes by, I find that I can't face the special interests of Xia Hao and my father-in-law more and more.
My father-in-law often hangs around the house in the clothes left by her mother-in-law before her death.
Xia Hao doesn't wear women's clothes around the house as often as my father-in-law, but he likes buying clothes and accessories for me more than before he got married. From time to time, he wears my pajamas or skirt in our dormitory, coquetry in front of the mirror and sweeps the glasses table more carefully than I do.
One night, I came out of the shower and saw Xia Hao put on a new knee-length red dress. He wears black stockings and is stronger than me, so that his skirt is tighter. It looks really funny.
Suddenly, it's sad for a big man to spoil his self-esteem like this! I suddenly collapsed on the bed and wanted to cry!
Xia Hao looked in the mirror happily and asked me if I could buy a blue dress next time. He wants to try the blue style.
I didn't answer him, just looking at his back, I was too sad to speak.
Xia Hao turned around, came over and hugged me coldly, and then changed his clothes without saying anything.
But that night, Xia Hao played mobile games for a long time before going to bed. After going to bed, he just gave me a hug and turned his back on me and went to sleep. There is no concept of intimacy at all, and I gradually fell asleep in silence.
I thought Xia Hao would be very aware of my discomfort and would make a slight change. But after two days, he still put on women's clothes as usual and posed in front of the mirror, saying nothing about his asking me to buy a blue dress.
I have to think, as long as his IQ is normal, his sexual orientation is normal, and he is harmless, then give yourself some time to accept it slowly!
05
Then, I found out I was pregnant.
Xia Hao was very happy, and everyone went in and out happily.
I'm happier. I didn't experience the feeling of being a mother until I was 30 years old. It's a little late, but it doesn't hinder my enthusiasm.
The joy and enthusiasm of pregnancy flooded my heart. I paid full attention to the changes of my body, and began to read a lot of parenting books, which occupied my eyes and energy and subconsciously ignored Xia Hao and my father-in-law.
One day when I was five months pregnant, my girlfriend asked me to go shopping, and I readily agreed.
I told Xia Hao and my father-in-law that my girlfriend and I didn't go home until we had dinner outside, so they could eat first.
At 7 o'clock in the evening, when I was having dinner with my girlfriend, I suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. My girlfriend was worried about me and insisted on sending me home.
I'm a little worried about the baby in my belly, and I'm going to get married for so long, and my girlfriend hasn't been to my house, so I invited her to come over.
However, when I opened the door, I saw Xia Hao and my father-in-law sitting at the dining table. They were wearing red and blue dresses and black stockings respectively!
Xia Hao wanted to hide in the room, but it was too late. He knocked the soup bowl on the table.
My girlfriend is dumbfounded.
I am too sad to speak. I didn't even notice how my girlfriend left. There is only one thought in my heart: Oh, my God! I don't want my children to see this in the future, no, absolutely not!
At that moment, I decided to divorce.
06
Xia Hao doesn't want a divorce. He has been tearfully saying that he loves me and will make changes for me and my children in the future.
My father-in-law also said to me, "Can you wait until you have children before making a decision?" Xia Hao's mother accepted me after giving birth to him. "
However, after nearly half a year of marriage and sharing the same bed, I understand very well that Xia Hao's hobby has existed since childhood, and it is deeply rooted and will not change because of me and my children.
Besides, I'm really not Xia Hao's mother. I'm really not that tolerant! When Xia Hao and I slept in the same bed, as long as he put on women's pajamas, my heart ached faintly!
He feels very good and happy, but who will pay attention to and comfort my feelings and discomfort? ! I don't want my children to know that his father has such a special hobby!
I told Xia Hao and my father-in-law what I thought and said I wanted a divorce.
Xia Hao flushed and said angrily, "You and Mei Jie are still the same. Sister Mei said that she loved my father and me very much. But one day, when she saw my dad and I wearing dresses, she refused to marry my dad and suddenly moved away! I thought you would be different from her ... I thought you would be like my mother ... Why can't you be like my mother ... "
Xia Hao couldn't go on, crying in a big mess. My father-in-law's eyes immediately turned red, and he got up and left silently.
I really want to say to Xia Hao, "Don't you remember? Didn't you say that your mother liked to rest in the guest room when she was still alive? One day I also had a rest in the guest room, and then I found that the guest room with only one bed and no other furniture was really suitable for being alone.
I think, in fact, deep down in your mother's heart, she still can't stand your father's hobbies, so she will leave her and your father's bedroom from time to time and stay alone for a while, right? "
However, I also cried so badly that I didn't say these words to Xia Hao after all. Because many things are not what we think, especially in marriage and love, how many people lost to "I think"?
I used to think that with the passage of time, I would accept Xia Hao's hobby. Later, because of various secular and years of traditions, I overestimated my acceptance and lost to "I thought".
A week later, Xia Hao and I divorced.
On the day we got the divorce certificate, standing at the gate of the Civil Affairs Bureau, Xia Hao asked me if I would really give birth to the baby. If the child is born, will he and his father be allowed to see the child? Will I remarry in the future
I will really give birth to the child and allow him and his father to see the child, but I will not give them custody and custody of the child. Of course I will remarry, but that's in the future.
I said, "Xia Hao, I hope you can find a woman who really understands you in the future! I really hope you can be happy! "
Xia Hao smiled, gave a hand and turned away.
I watched his back disappear in the corner, and his eyes were red, but the previous depression was gradually disappearing, and his mood was much easier.
Maybe I'm selfish, maybe I don't love Xia Hao as much as I thought. But I know that only divorce can save me and make Xia Hao free to find a woman who can really understand and accept him! This should be our best home!
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