Advertising humorous stories 1:

Children education

The son eats irregularly, and the father wants to persuade him, so he asks: It's not good to eat too much, and it's not good to not eat. Do you know the truth?

? Do you know? The son said,? Eating too much will swell to death; If you don't eat, you will starve to death. ?

No skiing

One day, Tom and his father were eating ice cream in a cold drink shop.

Suddenly, my father stared at Tom's ice cream and said, Tom, there are flies on your ice cream. Get rid of them quickly. ?

Tom:? Dad, you always refuse to take me skiing. Don't you let it slide?

If I knew this,

Mother is teaching her son to learn simple addition.

Mom:? What is 3 plus 2?

Son:? Equal to 5. ?

Mom:? By the way, I'll give you five chocolates. ?

Son:? If I had known this, I would have said it was equal to 10. ?

deaf

A couple passed a clothing store and stopped in front of the window.

The girl said:? Can you spend 200 yuan to buy me a wool coat?

The young man said:? What are you talking about? My left ear is not very good. ?

The girl went to the boy's right and said, can you buy me a leather coat for 500 yuan?

The young man said:? You'd better speak to the left. ?

give alms

A woman was walking alone in a dark street when suddenly a strange man jumped out and stood in front of her with a dagger. The woman was trembling with fear, but she listened politely to the man's speech: Miss, can I have some money? Have pity on me, a poor man who has no job and is starving. You see, my only property is this dagger. ?

talent

The marketing teacher preached to the students. Putting money from other people's pockets into your own pockets is talent. ?

The following students say:? That is a thief. ?

The teacher quickly added:? I'm talking about letting others take out their money willingly, and you don't break the law yourself. ?

The students seem to understand: that is a beggar. ?

suggestion

A man and a woman were drinking in a bar, and the woman said ostentatiously, Did you see the man sitting by the bar? Since I refused his proposal five years ago, he has been drinking every day until now.

The man shook his head at this. I don't understand. Does he need to celebrate for so long?

Call the police.

There is a young man by the roadside. He took a child and said eagerly, call the police! Call the police! Call! ?

Old John saw that he was curious and couldn't help but go over and ask with concern. Young man, do you need help? Did you encounter any difficulties?

The young man looked around and said shyly, Oh, that's not true. It's just that I just graduated from the police academy today. Want someone to call me? Police? ! ?

Blank message

One day, the bug chatted with his mother by SMS. While chatting, her mother sent a blank message. Bug thought it was strange, so he sent a short message asking her what it meant. Her mother replied, that means I rolled my eyes at you. ?

memory

A man with a bad memory went to see a doctor, and the doctor prescribed him a big bag of drugs to enhance his memory.

A few days later, he came back and said that his condition was not improving, and the doctor prescribed the same medicine for him.

After he left, the doctor said to the nurse. He forgot to bring this bag of medicine again. Put it away and sell it to him next time. ?

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

Xiao Ming was lounging on the sofa watching TV when the telephone rang. That's Xiaoming's father.

? Xiao Ming, where is your mother?

? She is mopping the floor. ?

? What? Father said unhappily? Didn't I tell you to help your mother do this kind of manual work?

? I can not help you with anything. The son replied? There is no extra mop. ?

? Isn't there another one at home? Father said.

? But that mop was used by my grandmother. ?

The will of the rich

The lawyer read the rich man's will: My beloved wife, Mary, shared joys and sorrows with me, and I left her a house and 2 million dollars. ?

The lawyer continued reading: When I was sick, my daughter Susie took care of me and managed the company. I left her company and $654.38 million. ?

Finally, the lawyer read: My nephew Danny hates me and quarrels with me, thinking that I would never mention him in my will. He was wrong. Hello, Dan. ?

boundary

Xiao Li loves to eat buffet. One day, he asked a friend: Do you know the highest level of eating buffet?

The other person thought for a moment, shook his head and said, I don't know?

Xiao Li proudly said:? Is to hold the wall in and hold the wall out. ?

The friend asked doubtfully:? Why?

Xiao Li said: I was hungry when I went in and I couldn't stand up straight when I came out. ?

self-distrust

On the third day (1), the head teacher came to the classroom and said, Students, we will have a thorough exam tomorrow. Please get ready. ?

The students all quieted down when they heard this, and then I don't know who whispered: teacher, don't touch it, we don't have it in our hearts? Bottom? . ?

Familiar taste

A housewife felt very tired after a day's work. She took a sip of wine to relieve fatigue, and then went to put her little daughter to bed.

? Mom? The youngest daughter smelled the wine and said curiously, you stole dad's perfume?

Change the style of play

There was a young actress who felt that she had too few roles in a TV series and could not help complaining to the director. There's something wrong with my character! I didn't appear until the end of the play, walking silently across the stage with my suitcase in my hand. This scene is too few! ?

The director listened and said sincerely: You are right. I'll let you carry two suitcases when you perform tomorrow. ?

Advertising humor story 2:

wrinkle

Wife:? Look at you, you are young, but you have so many wrinkles on your forehead. ?

Husband:? how much is it?

Wife:? Every time I wear a hat, it's like screwing a screw! ? (Xiao Jiang)

sleep-talking

Director Roger talks in a dream: Dear, I love you so much, I really love you to death. With these words, he suddenly woke up and saw his wife looking at himself with jealous eyes. Roger immediately closed his eyes, turned over and said, ok, that's it. Shoot now! ?

(Hu Mingbao)

roast

On the road, a traffic policeman saw a couple driving while drinking and stopped them. But the couple are still drinking and don't look at others. The traffic police are so angry that they don't know what to say and stand there.

When the husband saw this, he quickly blamed his wife and said, I only know how to drink. The traffic police comrades have been standing for a long time, and I don't give them a toast. ?

(Luo) According to

I bought the wrong one this time.

The horse racing prize of 654.38+0 million yuan was won by an idiot. Everyone was puzzled and asked an idiot: How to buy lottery tickets for horse racing?

Idiot said:? I dreamed for three days in a row? 7? This number, 3? 7=24, so I bought the No.24 lottery ticket for horse racing and won it at once. ?

Everyone was shocked:? 3? 7=2 1, how can it be 24?

Idiot also got a fright: Really? I bought the wrong one this time. I will buy 2 1 next time. ? (Jiang Ningxian)

Tie a bow

The seven-year-old daughter is curious about the navel and often asks her mother what the navel is for. The mother then explained in simple terms why the navel was connected with the fetus and the mother, saying that after the baby left the mother, the doctor cut the umbilical cord and tied a knot. After the umbilical cord falls off, the navel is formed. The daughter understood, but asked with some regret: Why didn't the doctor tie a bow?

(Feng Ping)

Father's problem

A racing driver sped past the taxi on a motorcycle. The taxi driver saw a child sitting behind a motorcycle. The child has wobbled because the motorcycle is driving too fast.

Yes, the child fell out of the car soon, but the racer didn't know it at all.

The kind taxi driver stopped the car, carried the child to the car and decided to catch up with the racing family.

The taxi driver increased his horsepower and finally caught up with the drag racing family and stopped the motorcycle horizontally with his own car.

? You are really, how can you be a father who doesn't know his child is lost! ? The taxi driver complained.

The racer looked at the child and shouted: Son, where's your mother?

(fairy)

No eyes

Two cars collided on the expressway.

The driver of a car got angry and got off the bus and cursed: you have no eyes! ?

The driver of B car is not to be outdone: Who said that? I didn't hit you red-handed?

(Chen Chuanyi)

Be on the edge/on the edge/on the edge of a cliff ―― be aware of the coming danger at the last minute.

Someone is performing hard kung fu, biting the reins of the horse with his teeth, which can drive the horse backward. The audience were all amazed. At this time, an old woman said, at my age, I finally saw it with my own eyes? Grit your teeth and rein in? ! ?

(Zhang)

Unit mosquito

Manager Wang likes drinking very much, but he gets drunk every time he drinks it. That night, a worker heard a thunderous snoring in the small garden. Following the sound, he found Wang Jingli lying on the stone steps of the garden, fast asleep, with his arms open, and his stomach covered with mosquitoes. Many mosquitoes that have sucked blood are drunk around Manager Wang, and half-drunk mosquitoes can hardly fly.

The worker quickly shouted:? Manager Wang, get up and sleep in the house. Mosquitoes are all on you! ? Manager Wang said with a mouthful of alcohol. Fat? Fat water doesn't flow from outsiders, but mosquitoes are at work anyway. Let them have two drinks, too! ?

(light rain)

celebrity

A girl became famous in the show business.

One day, in front of thousands of opera fans, she described alcoholism as violent wine, which made them dumbfounded. When her teacher learned about it, she sighed and said, I am the only one who knows this mistake, and now all of China knows it. ?

(Xiao Zhang)

High altitude shooting

A reporter went to shoot the fire scene, but because the smoke was too heavy to shoot, he applied to the editor-in-chief for aerial photography.

The editor-in-chief said: wait at the airport! ?

When he arrived at the airport, he saw a helicopter about to take off, so he jumped on the helicopter and shouted, Take off! ?

Soon they rose to the sky, when the pilot asked, "You must be the new instructor." I'm the jack who hasn't learned it three times and can't land by himself. ? (ten thousand yuan)

Don't wait for me

The family hired a new nanny. In the evening, the host ordered the nanny to say: Remember, my mother and I have breakfast at seven o'clock every morning, and you ask the nanny to nod and say: Oh, I see. You can eat first. Don't wait for me. I won't get up until eight o'clock ? (Chapter I)

Snow plus frost-aggravation

My mean daughter fell in love with a disabled person, and my father said earnestly, Daughter, why don't you leave him?

The daughter looked at her father strangely: What are you talking about? Shouldn't disabled people have normal love?

? I didn't mean that. ? Dad said,? I mean, he's pathetic enough, but you still have to marry him! ?

(Chu Jin)

The moon is amazing.

One night, the five-year-old son suddenly said to his father:? Dad, the moon is amazing. ?

? What's the big deal? Dad asked curiously.

? The moon is bolder than the sun. ?

Dad is even more strange: Why?

? The moon dares to come out to play at night! ?

(Zhang)

doomsday

A primary school teacher in a school is describing? The end of the world? When the scene:? At that time, there will be thunder and lightning, flames will fall from the sky, sea water will flood, floods will flood, the ground will crack and landslides will occur. ?

Just as he was talking, he was foaming at the mouth and his eyes were shining. A child asked. Is that school on holiday?

(Ningning)

Free response

Lao Zhang in the office is famous for his wit.

One day, Xiao Wang deliberately found a topic to spite him. Xiao Wang said, Lao Zhang, do you know what the worst thing is in the world? Lao Zhang said he didn't know, but Xiao Wang said? A man is dead, and his money has not been spent. ?

Everyone looked at Lao Zhang and thought he had nothing to say this time, but Lao Zhang paused and immediately said, Xiao Wang, do you know what the worst thing is in the world? Xiao Wang said he didn't know, and Lao Zhang said, People have spent all their money and are not dead yet. ?

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