In the process of solving these communication problems, you will find that sometimes your motives are good, but you can't get the desired communication effect. The reason for this result is that you have not mastered the correct communication method. So how do we master the correct way of communication?
Teacher Zhijing gave the answer in his "Six Communication Ways that Directly Hit People's Hearts".
First, tell stories.
The advantage of telling a story is that it has a good effect, touches people's hearts and really enters the hearts of listeners. In life, we are inevitably not troubled by children's education. Whether teachers or parents, children are difficult to discipline, which is the most headache, but the book tells such a story:
A desert area in Qinghai Province, China is extremely short of water, and the daily water needs to be transported from far away by the army. Faced with such a shortage of water, the local people have already implemented a water restriction order-including daily drinking, washing, washing and cooking, and each person is limited to three kilograms of water a day. People can't live without water, so can animals. But the water consumption of animals is also included in this water consumption. One day, an old cow, who has always been simple and honest in people's minds, forcibly stopped the only water truck in the desert with incredible power. No matter how people drove it away, even the old cow's back was beaten bloody by its owner, and it still stood motionless in front of the water truck. People around the waterwheel feel very uncomfortable. Finally, a soldier escorting the waterwheel couldn't stand the eager eyes of the old cow. He took out three kilograms of water from the bucket and put it in front of the old cow. However, the old cow didn't pounce on it, but let out a cry of Cleisthenes. With the cry of Cleisthenes, a calf ran out from behind the sand dune, jumped into the bucket and drank greedily. When the calf finished drinking, the old cow lovingly licked the tears shed by the calf, and left silently with the calf without waiting for the owner to shout.
Presumably, the results show that after listening to this story, the relationship between children and parents is much better.
Second, * * * Ming.
Only * * * can put themselves in other people's inner world, understand other people's words and deeds, and then go deep into other people's hearts and establish close ties with others.
When communicating, we should not only consider whether our expression is clear, but also consider each other's feelings. There should be many friends who borrow money or ask for help from themselves in life, but many of us answer that I have recently.
I understand your difficulty, but I have encountered difficulties recently, so ... this sentence is obviously perfunctory and I have never been sad at ordinary times. Why do I have difficulty in contacting, and my friend can't do it as a result. In fact, in this case, if we really have difficulties, we can give a more detailed explanation. For example, if we are full-time wives, our husband will pay for the expenses. He hates this kind of thing. As long as we communicate properly, we will understand each other.
Third, attract attention.
The eye-catching mentioned here is not the kind of eye-catching that "the road is not smooth". We should observe and listen to each other and attract attention according to each other's needs.
In many film and television works, we can see that professionals will talk to each other's bosses about their favorite things, such as storytelling, tea ceremony, sports and so on. , or send something like that, these are all ways to attract attention.
Fourth, quietly influence others with association.
A clever communicator can quietly influence others, grasp their needs and get their consent.
The case introduced in the book illustrates this point in detail:
"I have been in the company for more than three years. Although I am not an old employee, I have deep feelings for the company, and I have always kept your kindness in mind. To this end, I am serious and responsible in my work, and I have never made any big mistakes, and even contributed a little to the development of the company in some aspects. My girlfriend and I have been in love for many years. As we are both old, our family has recently begun to urge us to get married. I believe the boss can understand that as a man, I have to shoulder the heavy responsibility of supporting my family, but now my economic conditions are really not plentiful, so I hope the general manager can give me a raise. I know the company is short of money, too. After the salary increase, I have eliminated my worries and can work wholeheartedly to bring greater benefits to the company. "
We can analyze this case: first of all, Willie thanked the boss for his kindness, which moved people with emotion. Later, he changed the subject and euphemistically and clearly stated his contribution to the work, thus making the boss agree with his work attitude and work value, suggesting that the boss's salary increase is not only natural, but also will create more value. Later, Willie once again moved people with emotion, aroused the boss's feelings with his responsibility as a man, and spoke out the economic pressure he faced, thus making his salary increase request reasonable and touching the boss again. Finally, he told his boss categorically that giving him a raise can bring benefits to the company, and he will work harder to create income for the company in return for the boss's raise. This kind of communication has reached the realm of "moistening things and being silent".
V. Logical persuasion
In order to convince others, organized and hierarchical language expression is a very important prerequisite.
I believe that almost everyone has experienced the exam, and some people have written all the papers but have not scored higher than others. This is because it is illogical to write full papers, but what they want to write is illogical, while others specify one or two points, which are clear-cut and logical. This is the gap.
Sixth, viscous propagation.
It is the ability to speak to the point and let the other person know your point clearly; It is a kind of wisdom to speak appropriately and let the other person reflect on himself.
Sticky communication we need to remember: break the routine, lose weight by words, and be sincere.
In the recent hit TV series "Everything is OK", there is such a passage: Su Daqiang was cheated in financial management, losing 60,000 yuan and being hospitalized. He didn't eat or drink in the hospital, and even had suicidal thoughts. Su Mingcheng, the second son, and Julie, the daughter-in-law, tried their best to comfort and reason, but all in vain. They could only watch him standing on the window of the ward with a worried face, shouting that he was going to die. Just when the two sides were deadlocked, her daughter Su Mingyu came. Seeing such a scene, she not only didn't persuade Su Daqiang, but also told him to jump quickly, as if she didn't care at all. Her careless attitude angered Su Mingcheng, but made Su Daqiang, who was bent on dying, give up the idea of jumping off a building and return to the hospital bed.
Usually, when we encounter this situation, we will definitely say not to jump, but Su Mingyu did the opposite and finally saved Daqiang's life.