? The so-called "restless" here means that the circle of friends is chaotic, willful, spending money indiscriminately, doing things casually, getting too close to boys and being indifferent to learning. The daughter of the couple who came to consult me the night before yesterday was probably like this.
? It is of course the parents' responsibility for their daughter to grow up like this! It's just that what parents can't figure out all the time is that we have not been raised, let go and treated rudely by generations. Our husband and wife are harmonious, generous and sophisticated. Why is our daughter so disappointing? Others look at her, darling, carefully, for fear of offending people; For parents, it is a slap in the face, a rude voice and an irrationality, which makes parents feel that God never shuts one door but he opens another.
Think impassability, really think impassability! Scold a few words to write a suicide note to scare parents, not to mention that parents can't figure it out, even I, a bystander, can't figure it out! This is really a blessing in disguise! If I dared to make such a moth, my mother wouldn't break my bones.
? The point is that the obedient and sensible girl belongs to someone else's family. In front of me, it is an established fact that parents can't figure out what their girl's behavior is. What's the use of complaining? What we can do is to remedy it quickly, minimize the damage and help the girl out of the predicament. So what should parents do?
? First of all, my mother quickly stepped aside and kept her mouth shut. It's time for beauty beauty to slim down, read books, have tea with girlfriends, and run your own business ... In short, make yourself a refined, elegant, free and easy, and preferably a "white" with financial freedom. Don't hang your mouth on your daughter's ear like a dissatisfied housewife all day.
? The mother's lifestyle is actually the daughter's lifestyle!
? Please also remember one sentence: what kind of person do you want to train your daughter into, what kind of person do you want to be first! The local cultural environment where I lived as a child was very poor. People taunt, abuse and fight with each other, and this kind of infighting is even worse than The Story of Yan Xi Palace. But I grew up without swearing, scheming, rebelling, causing trouble or being sloppy, and still have my own little dreams. Why? Because my mother lives seriously, cleanly, positively, punctually and dreamily!
? Although my mother is a rural woman, she never swears casually. She loves cleanliness very much. Although we live in a small hut, she keeps it bright and tidy. The clothes she wears are rustic, but clean. She often irons them with boiling water in an enamel clock. She works hard every day and leads a serious and exquisite life. Now I am an upgraded version of her.
? I don't have a good life, I just preach to my daughter every day. Can I convince her? When I was a child, I asked you to fool me, but she didn't understand! When I grew up, I began to have my own ideas, plus the immersion of all kinds of bad information and the negative influence of my peers. If my mother has no real skills, my daughter will look down on you as a mother. If you don't take a back seat at this time, when will you stay?
? Secondly, dad made up the position in time. When the mother abdicated, the girl was more indulgent without supervision, flying by herself every day and finally flying to nowhere. As parents, we should also bear in mind that it is difficult for children to have self-awareness and self-correction before 16 years old. Savage children abound, and many children can educate themselves. The point is, is that your child? There is a ridiculous saying on the internet: the baby you gave birth to should be raised in tears! In the same way, your baby should be educated when crying!
? So what does dad need to do?
? First of all, dad should go back to his daughter willingly and apologize to her sincerely, seriously and frankly. Note: unreasonable, it is an apology! Tell my daughter that it's a pity that dad has neglected her daughter's growth and missed her joys and sorrows in recent years under the pretext of supporting the family! From now on, dad will take time to accompany his daughter no matter how busy he is! What is more regrettable in this world than missing my daughter's growth?
? Unless your daughter has become an extinct teacher, how can you be as hard as a stone? Generally speaking, as long as the father sincerely apologizes, the daughter will immediately choose to forgive. Ethan in Dog Thirteen, no matter how her father hurts her, she will choose to forgive her as long as her father apologizes to her. In fact, parents can never imagine how much their children love their parents!
? The second is the existence of life. Every father should remember! Don't turn a page after apologizing! Children's education will never turn over a page. If you say you want to accompany, you have to really accompany. You said that you should pay attention to your daughter's joys and sorrows, so you should always pay attention to your daughter's joys and sorrows and make timely and accurate responses.
? How to accompany? My answer is the existence of life! Because only such companionship is high-quality companionship. Let me give you an example. For example, how can you accompany your daughter when she is doing her homework at home? You are not chatting, playing games and watching Tik Tok on your mobile phone. The children are doing their homework. When my daughter is doing her homework, dad had better put his mobile phone aside and pretend to read! For example, if you take your daughter out for dinner, you can put off business contacts, put things at work aside, have dinner with your daughter with peace of mind, talk to her about life, all kinds of experiences in the world, and talk about your current situation. Is it beautiful, decadent or boring? Unless your daughter takes the initiative to talk about study, she will keep silent about it. As a father, always believe that when your daughter is determined to be a beautiful and excellent self, she will pay attention to her study, and you don't need to tell her the importance of study.
? Some fathers may say that I am too busy to participate in the growth of my daughter. Then let your daughter get involved in your life in another way!
? For example, the couple who consulted me, my father opened a painting and calligraphy training class, and the rest time of my daughter was staggered. Father really doesn't have much time to spend with his daughter, so why not let her participate in his work? Dad can hire his daughter as a teaching assistant in the training class. The salary is negotiable and acceptable to the other party. When my son was in primary school, he did his homework at night, and I wrote it beside him. He doesn't understand, so I won't write. Guide him. After he finished his homework and had a rest, he helped me correct the wrong words and sentences. The first book I published, he was the first reader, helped me find a lot of typos and sick sentences, and I gave him some when I got the manuscript fee. Because he always reads my articles, it has a great positive influence. He knows me, respects me and loves me, so I can educate him!
? I often go out to give lectures on weekends, often go to the airport, and the cost of taking a taxi back and forth goes into the pocket of Didi driver. If I can't see my son when I go out on the weekend, I will tell him, or you can come back this weekend (my son is studying at Shenzhen University and has got a driver's license for more than a year) to pick me up. The taxi fare to and from the airport is around 260 yuan. You drive our own car, and the fuel consumption is all on me. I'll give you 300 yuan. This business is so stable, and it is pure profit, and the expenses are cashed quickly. Of course, my son is very happy. What does it matter that my son is so diligent in sending me to the airport? Apart from feelings, it is more profit-driven? I have to take a taxi anyway. Since my son can drive, why don't I let my son take a taxi to get involved in my life? So I can talk to my son about his college life and emotional life, as well as my work and experience. This mode of getting along is particularly comfortable. My son doesn't think I'm wordy, and I don't think my son is strange. We are connected, I admire him and he respects me.
? When the relationship between the daughter and the father is attachment and being attached, trust and being trusted, the father can talk to the daughter about men's world and men's understanding and evaluation of women. Even talking about how love rat deceived the trust of simple little girls and how to prevent sexual assault. These topics are better for dad to tell his daughter than for mom. After all, dad is a man and a "spy" who came out of the men's pile. What he said is credible!
? If there are two treasures at home, my mother can also treat them as sweethearts to heal the mother-daughter relationship. The couple's Bauer was three years old last night, nearly 10 years later than Dabao. If a mother alienates her daughter, she can teach Bauer privately to please her sister. Delicious, send a girl, have fun, find a girl, nothing to sell a cute girl, and find a good girl. Bao Xiao screamed at the milk, and her sweet voice called for her sister. No matter how hard-hearted her sister is, she will become soft and waxy. When the daughter is soft-hearted and the mother shows weakness again, where will the daughter go?
? It is a very happy thing to have a daughter at home, but it has become overcast, all because it is not serious when it should be serious, and it is extremely serious when it should not be serious!
? From 0 to 3 years old, mothers give their children plenty of milk. From 3 to 6 years old, mother and father feed their children enough honey together. At the age of 6 ~ 9, the father followed the children and gave them enough salt. /kloc-After the age of 0/0, the father must enter the children's life field, see their joys and sorrows, successes and failures, and make timely and accurate responses. At the same time, it is necessary to help children establish a correct value system, teach them the skills of getting along with the same sex and the opposite sex, and set physical boundaries and moral bottom lines for them. How bad can this child be?
? Parents are strongly advised to watch milk honey salt and the movie Dog Thirteen.
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