My understanding of flow-it is a potential explosive force in the depths of the human body and a potential vitality. A high-energy state that flows slowly in the depths of our bodies, in things that we especially participate in and like.
Facts have proved that this state has existed in my writing, self-study and yoga in the last two years. I have been feeling, experiencing and endlessly enjoying a very cool state.
Since I dropped out of high school, literature has drifted away from me, and I began to live in this world unconsciously for more than ten years.
Until one day, I suddenly felt very ashamed. I was just a junior high school graduate. As I began to wander, I was filled with endless melancholy about my life.
I tortured myself over and over again in my mind. What is the meaning of my life in such a day? Actually, I shouldn't do this, and I don't want to. Do I have to continue to cook myself into porridge in this little youth?
The answer in my heart is impossible, impossible. I want to change, I want to rely on something, and then firmly grasp it, I want the salted fish to turn over.
65438+applied for Suntech in 2008, and directly applied for English major. The tuition fee is 9700. At that time, I still owed more than 200,000 yuan, and I didn't have any basic skills. I still remember a few English words at the primary school level. Think about myself. I was really brave.
Fortunately, the tuition fee was earned by my own online entertainment group, and my husband did not interfere too much. It's just that his heart is full of contempt and ridicule for my thoughts and actions.
Although I was still living an endless wandering life with him at that time, he never wanted to change anything. He always hits me again and again and says, "We are all like this. It's no use reading it, laughing at me for doing something irrelevant ... "
I listened to it again and again, but I continued to study without hesitation, because I knew what I did was right.
Since I successfully applied for the exam and embarked on a long road of self-examination, I am happy in my heart. I am no longer an illiterate, but a student on the road of learning.
I seem to be injected with a kind of power, and an undercurrent begins to flow slowly in my heart, and my life has a state that I have never had before. The whole person is full of energy, just want to learn and want to learn more. Maybe this is what you call "flow"!
When I learn from one word to another, I learn from one sentence to another, and then from one book to another. ...
What used to be impossible seems to be becoming possible bit by bit.
In winter, I sat by the garbage dump with an English book I couldn't understand, with a book stand on my curled knees, a cup of boiling water in my hand to keep warm, and looked up the translation while I recited it. In summer, I watched it over and over again in an open-air shed of more than 40 degrees, sweating like a pig. ...
Mosquitoes stink in hot winter and summer. Anyway, I forgot the harsh external environment I was in. I just want to learn more and learn better. ...
When I can read more English books slowly, the torrent of fullness, happiness and a little sense of accomplishment has been surging back and forth in my magnetic field. I feel the joy of learning and the courage and confidence it brings to my future life.
Later, I used this "flow" to write, because, in many cases, many words can't be said in life, so I used words to express them.
When I watch the smooth words flowing slowly under the tap of the keyboard, in my diary, the nib rustles. They are my flowing happiness, followed by endless happiness when I write.
How happy are you? It is really a state of forgetting everything.
The roof of my warehouse is a flat-topped top floor, with no air conditioning and no fans. This is a stuffy and hot sauna room, and everyone avoids it. ...
I spread out the first draft written in a shed with a high temperature of more than 40 degrees and my second revision, and then finalized it in this warehouse. With the computer in the warehouse, in recent months, when I was not too busy to work overtime on Sunday, I typed my first novel of more than 200 thousand words on the computer.
I sat there motionless for hours, thinking nothing but writing. Although my fingers are a little numb, I always want to write more. I forgot about the heat. I'm working overtime.
Sometimes, people come and go looking for me to receive goods and deliver goods. I always finish it quickly, send them away quickly, then close the door, get bored inside, quickly sit back in my seat, pull back the interrupted thoughts, and continue to immerse myself in that steady joy.
It's always time to punch in the afternoon, and it's past the hottest time. I can still clearly feel the sweat dripping from top to bottom. I don't know how much sweat I have shed this day. ...
My colleagues, many people and my family can't understand my crazy behavior. I even smiled in my heart: "I am old, but I still have wishful thinking." Why bother? "
Laugh all you want, no matter what they do, my life is my own, what does it have to do with them? How can they appreciate the happiness I get from it?
It is such a state that I like and push me, and I also started yoga. I have neither time nor money to go to the yoga studio, so I practice in the dormitory every day, thinking one by one. Find the feeling of the body first, and then find the feeling brought by the heart, in order to truly achieve the unity of body and mind.
It's really wonderful to immerse yourself in it and feel happy. That kind of happiness, over and over again, turned into a burst of vitality and poured into my body continuously, so I never expected it to become a powerful life.
Sometimes, when you look back on your mental journey in the past two years, you will be surprised at the small changes that have taken place.
Although this road is endless darkness and vast universe, it is precisely this flow that supports me to go on and go on again. ...
Flow, my annotation on it, is an infinite vitality flowing in the depths of our bodies and an inexhaustible internal potential.