2. Xiaoming always sleeps in class, and the teacher criticizes him: Can you stop sleeping? Xiao Ming replied: No, because I am a poor student.
I'm glad to see you just now. I didn't realize you were a playboy. I was cruel after the affair. I have a crush on you. I'm afraid I won't see you. I'm sorry that I can't keep you.
Do you know why some people like to put their hands in their sleeves? Because she/he knows that even if she stretches out, no one will hold it. It is better to shrink warmly.
5, all relationships that do not aim at marriage are hooligans! Hehe, I wish you all a happy Valentine's Day! Don't be a hooligan, don't be fooled by hooligans! Can find the right one!
6. I'm shy, and I've been afraid to tell you. Today I finally got up the courage: When will you invite me to dinner?
7. Important news: Saddam has found it! Bush said, "Don't set fire to the oil well!" Saddam said, "I have no orders! I insist! " The result was put into Beijing Xiaotangshan Hospital!
8. My wife is looking for clothes. She put on a skirt that she hadn't worn for a long time and looked in the mirror: Oh dear! Love jiaozi! Sir: That's stuffing, not leaves.
9. Holding your wife's hand is like holding your right hand with your left hand; Holding the young lady's hand seems to have returned to 1899; Holding the hand of a female classmate, I regret not doing it.
10, yeah! I accidentally sent it by mistake. I love you. If you accept it, save it (next88). If you don't accept it, send these three words back to me.
1 1. The mouse said to the cat: I love you! The cat said, go away! The mouse went away crying. No one saw the cat shed a tear after the mouse left. In fact, there is a love called giving up!
12, I can't promise you anything, but I will do it: if one day you feel hungry, then you will smile and see that I have starved to death in your arms.
13, I watched TV very late yesterday. My mother said angrily, I still watch TV so late. Go brush my teeth and wash my face! Seek the shadow area in the landlord's heart!
14. As soon as the ugly girl in the street turned around, she scared a cow on the roadside. When the ugly girl in the street turns around, the comet will also hit the earth. The ugly girl in the street looks back three times, so don't worry about three meals a day.
15, I heard that those girls who fly all over Huang Tu with yellow jokes are too nervous to lift their heads and blink when they meet the people they like. Is that you?
16, mood prediction: I will miss you tonight to tomorrow morning, and I expect to miss you very much in the afternoon. Affected by this mood, the night will become a fantasy, and this weather will last until I see you.
17, I wish you good health and lose all your teeth! Bon voyage, missing halfway! Go all the way to the end and give up halfway! Happy every day, often abnormal! Laugh often, laugh anyway!
18, turtle and snake garden, only one ticket. The tortoise wrapped the snake around its neck. When entering the park, the eagle checking in said, stop. The tortoise and the snake panicked, and the eagle said, look at your tortoise, wearing a tie!
19, the young man farted, and the woman next to him gave three consecutive bah, bah, bah! The young man asked unhurriedly, Comrade, why did you spit out the nuts when you ate fart?
20. Franklin: Fortunately, lovers don't discharge as much as lightning. Otherwise, the consequences will be unimaginable!
2 1. The couple are celebrating their tenth wedding anniversary. The wife said to her husband affectionately, honey, talk about your feelings in the past ten years? The husband lamented that marriage is risky and it is necessary to be cautious when obtaining a certificate.
22. A village woman went to town for the first time and wanted to go to the toilet. She didn't meet for a long time, so she asked the policeman, Comrade, there is a public toilet in front. Where is the mother toilet?
When I see you, I want to hold you in my arms. I angered you to show that I love you. If I miss you, I will think of heartbreak. If I miss you, I will cry. If I marry you, I will take your heart. If I love you, I will love all of you!
24. Americans use Apple mobile phones and Apple computers. Because Americans eat beef and need apples to balance their cholesterol, American apple brands are more delicious.
25. A lady ordered a stir-fried dog whip while eating, and accidentally fell between her legs while picking vegetables. The young lady was shocked: this thing is really amazing! Cooked and chopped, it actually knows the way!
26, can't sleep, let's talk about some heavy topics, such as your weight, oh! This is too heavy, not good. Say something superficial, such as your IQ!
27. What will Inter Milan fans do after seeing their team win Serie A, Italian Cup, European Champions Cup and Toyota Cup? Answer: Turn off the PS2 and go to bed!
28. tragedy is like I accidentally cut off my little finger; Comedy is like you accidentally fell into the sewer.
29, often shake the fan to prevent stroke, mung bean porridge to cool down. Eat a duck to get rid of the heart fire, tomato soup is rich in nutrition. Sweet vinegar can sterilize the stomach and garlic can drive away the flu.
30. I asked my wife why she wanted to be a wife. Second-rate wife replied: you are a bitch, I am your wife, referred to as wife! Is that how it is explained?
3 1, XXX University, with bright stars. Walk in, it's tattered. Ten teachers and nine idiots. There is another one, insanity.
32. Freshmen on campus: students who repeat their studies are called "international students", those who have money at home are called "rich students" and those who doze off in class are called "poor students".
33. The man said: What women lack most these days is hard work and beauty. What they lack more is self-reliance.
When I touched your black hair, I cried. When I look at the wrinkles on your face, I am worried. Why are all your partners white-haired? You smiled and told me: Master, I forgot to tell you that I am a mutant pig! I fainted on the spot.
35. It is reported that bin Laden no longer has a beard and wears a suit. In order to avoid suspicion, please grow a beard and wear cheongsam from now on!
36. Teacher: Now please make a sentence. There must be the word "sugar" in this sentence. Student: I'm drinking tea. Teacher: Where is the sugar? Student: In the tea.
37. You gave me the happiest day of my life, and also gave me the sadness of my life. I long for the happiness you give me, but I don't want you to hurt me again.
38. You don't have to wear a tie, pee, laugh and whistle from time to time-brother, you are really good at kung fu!
39. The men's and women's toilets in a school are adjacent. A girl went to the toilet without paper. Suddenly, a piece of paper came from next door. The girl was startled: "Who is it?" The boy replied in a deep and powerful voice, "Lei Feng".
40, I love to send, the God of Wealth came to my house, countless tickets let me spend, checks laughed at me, lottery tickets jumped exactly the same as me, in short, sent and sent, sent and sent.
4 1, not loving you is too much. I'm sorry for not loving you. If I don't love you, my friends will hit me. I have only one goal: to love you.
42. I've been very annoyed recently. Stocks are falling every day, and they haven't won several issues of the Football Lottery. China ate duck eggs in football, and his beautiful girlfriend ran off with someone else!
43. One day, the boss of the cockroach family cried and said to his parents, why do others say that I am a pest? My younger brother said happily when he came back that others greeted me when they saw me. Hey, bug!
44. The sky is blue and the water is deep. My love for you is real! Water is the source of water, and trees have roots. I love you for a reason!
45. Xiao Lv asked the old donkey: Why do we eat hay every day, but the old donkey sighed: We can't compete with others. We eat by running errands and others eat by their breasts!
46. I made 1,001 wishes. The thousandth wish is that you will recover from amnesia as soon as possible. The 101st wish is that you remember to owe me two dollars!
47. An unmarried woman lamented: Why do all good men become husbands? She was reminded that a wife cultivates a good husband by self-production and self-sale, and no man can learn by himself.
48. Xiaoming said: Dad, it's so cold in the room! Dad said, you can stand in the corner. Xiao Ming asked in surprise: Why? Dad smiled and said, because the angle is 90 degrees.
49. Bears and rabbits shit in the forest. The bear asked the rabbit, "Does it matter if the hair is on the stool?" The rabbit replied, "Never mind", so the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
50, the law of attributes: men have an angry attribute, so they love to brag and love to be angry; Women have the property of liquid, so they love jealousy and tears.
5 1. You slept with her today and want to sleep with her tomorrow. This is love. You slept with her today, and you will sleep with her tomorrow. This is marriage.
I believe that our love will last forever with the moon as evidence. I won't leave you any more than the moon will leave the earth.
53. Before getting engaged, a woman is like a swallow, flying as she likes. After the engagement, she can fly like a dove, but dare not fly far. After marriage, like a duck, I want to fly, but I can't.
54. My roommate bought a pet pig and fed it in the dormitory. Six months later, she gave birth to a litter of piglets. Roommates are in a mess, and the dormitory is full of questions: Shit, who did it!
55. You are a book, I am a bag, you are a mouse, I am a cat, you are wood, I am glue, you are pork, I am a knife, we cut well, you can pay for dinner tonight!
56. Men are 20 semi-finished products, 30 finished products, 40 fine products, 50 best products, 60 top products, 70 waste products and 80 souvenirs.
57. First love: I only have her in my heart. Madly in love: my mother told me to go east, and my wife told me to go west; Lovelorn to the west: my lover is married, and the groom is not me.
58. The teacher asked us to make sentences with the word Sure enough. One student wrote: I haven't bathed for three months, and I really stink.
59. There was a love that suited me, but I didn't care about him. If God gives me another chance, I will say, Little Sister, be a friend!
60. The wife who works in the shop gets off work very late every day, and this day is also very late. Dave: Let's eat quickly! Wife: No, I'm not hungry at all today. Because I transferred to the pastry group.
6 1, shameless, incompetent; Beauty is not exposed, and the pervert is not tempted; Men are not bad, women don't love them; No gifts, no human feelings; If you don't worship money, you won't get rich soon.
62. After a pair of post-80s men and women introduced each other's basic situation, the woman couldn't sit still: You didn't have a room or a car to meet? Man: Love is coming.
63. Good news came from the delivery room, and everyone got up; The underpants are used as vests, and people bring them up; When socks were put on, people jumped up; Leather shoes buckle, people's status is getting higher and higher.
According to authoritative sources, in order to better enrich people's holiday life and further stimulate the holiday economy, the May Day holiday this year will be increased from seven days last year to ten days!
65. Like is a touch of love. Love is deep love. I hope we can go home together in the future, instead of sending you home.
66. One day, my husband came home late and forgot his key. He couldn't wake up when he called his wife. The husband thought about it and pretended to be a child's voice. Mom, I went to the bathroom. My wife woke up at once.
During the summer vacation, Mi Jia slept outside for a month. When he came back, his father asked him: Is your tent leaking? Mi Jia thought for a moment and said, Dad, when it rains, it just leaks.
68. Lao Wang: My wife and I have been married for 30 years, and we always hold hands in the street. Xiao Wang: Your feelings are really good! Lao Wang: As soon as I let go, she went shopping.
69. I met a girl in a bar. I asked her if she wanted to do it in the car or in bed. She said she wanted both. So I took her to the lathe of the processing factory where I worked.
70. A couple embraced and watched the TV series "Latent". Boyfriend stroked his girlfriend's bulging abdomen, sighed and said, honey, you can't get a marriage certificate, so you should try to stay hidden!
7 1. It is said that Confucius took students Zigong, Luz and Ziyou to travel on May Day. A woman saw them and shouted, you are not human! Who is she talking about? Luz, because deer are horses.
Barber: What kind of hairstyle do you want? Young man: You should have the most eye-catching hairstyle. Barber: That's good! I'll shave your head
73. When I went to college 1990, the counselor was a veteran. I once gave a lecture: It was very bad to find someone wasting food recently. Is it easy for farmers to grow steamed bread?
74. Sweet talk is not my specialty. I don't want to talk about it, but I have a warm chest full of my dreams for you. Let's embark on the road of life together.
75. The professor asked a beautiful but not clever girl to explain the difference between adultery and premarital sex. The girl said hesitantly, I have tried everything, and it seems that there is no difference.
76. Son, you should get married. If you marry a smart and wise wife, you will be happy; If you marry a frivolous bitch, you will become a philosopher.
Speaking of your appearance, I don't want to discourage you. Go to the zoo to see if there is a job suitable for you. If you run around the street like this, it's easy for the police to shoot you.
78. The first love is a new version, the rekindling of the old love is a revision, the wedding night is genuine, the extramarital affair is pirated, the single-minded love is out of print, and the mercy everywhere is a replica.
79. Eat and drink with friends in the evening. Come here (unknown): Buddy, give me a light. Take out the lighter and give it to him. The man picked up a lighter and lit the fire. Do you have any cigarettes?
80. I will publish Mr Smith's will. Before publishing the will, I would like to ask sincerely, Mrs. Smith, will you accept my proposal?
8 1, a fan asked God after his death, when did Korea become the World Cup champion? Fifty years! What about Japan? Need 100 years! What about China? God cried and said, I can't see that day!
82. A woman complained to her neighbor: Your son actually called me an old sow. Neighbor replied: I'm really sorry. I often warn him that all appearances are not gold.
83, deep feelings, rainy days, you are a worm in my stomach, you know everything I want, everything goes without saying! Happy Valentine's Day, baby!
84. My wife always thinks that married life is not romantic enough, so she says to her husband: How about we talk about love again? Who knows, my husband quickly shook his hand and said, forget it, I don't want to go back to that evil' old society'!
85. I don't know how to convey information. Send one first. If you get it, just press my phone twice and hang up, okay?
86. A strong country will not fail to host the Olympic Games, but a good World Expo will make it strong! Running Spring Festival travel rush well is truly powerful!
87. You are very gentle with me. Your slender hands touch my tender skin, and your gentle mouth sucks my body fluids until you are satisfied and float away! Oh, damn mosquitoes!
88. Chatting with a sister, she threatened to break up with me if she didn't like her. I haven't heard the word "break up" since I blurted out "what is the gesture of breaking up".
89. The woman said, Why do you look so old-fashioned? M: If you like RMB, do you still care what year it was issued?
90. If loving you is a task given to me by God, I hope this task is permanent, and it should not have a deadline. Because God knows I will cherish you.
9 1, a maid said when applying for a job: The reason why she left her previous job was because my master and wife had been quarreling, either with my husband or with my wife.