, all poisons do not invade. The so-called online dating is a slimming plan. One kind of lovesickness, two places of leisure worries, makes people haggard for Iraq. The beauty of online dating lies in distance, and modern people regard thinness as beauty, which proves the correctness and necessity of online dating. The so-called online dating is a sport. Look at people who get up early to run, there are fat people and thin people, and fat people want to be thin and fat. It's really hard to think about it. It's better for everyone to engage in online dating. "Make friends online to enhance people's physique." The so-called online dating means spending a full moon on the screen and talking and laughing alone. The so-called online dating is to stand in front of the mirror and love yourself. The so-called online dating is a love rehearsal or love review. The so-called online dating means loving only a little crazy foreigners, not talking about marriage. The so-called online dating means that you die when you see the light, and you die when you don't see the light. The so-called online dating is suffering! How beautiful! The so-called online love, like a small sailboat, will never reach the shore in the sea! There are too many topics about online dating in reality. Today, I accidentally saw someone discussing this topic. It seems that people who surf the internet can't escape such a problem. Different people have different views on online dating. Some people avoid it because they are afraid of falling into the trap of online dating and getting hurt. Some people think it doesn't matter. They think it's good to have a spiritual love online when they meet someone they like. Some people think that although online dating is beautiful and romantic, it is always too empty. It's too painful after beauty. I want to try but I'm afraid, so I have an ambiguous feeling.
The special feeling of editing this online love
The network allows strangers to know each other. Even though we are far apart, there is no sense of distance because of the magic of the network. Our world has become more exciting and vivid because of the network. Almost all people who surf the internet will lament the illusion of the network. Almost everyone has resisted the charm of online dating, but most people can't stand the temptation and are attracted by the mystery of the network, and people's emotions will be affected by their attachment to it. So there is no indestructible emotion. When some ignorant emotions breed from the heart, when some uneasy emotions spread from the bottom of my heart, even people who think they are very rational will be confused and collapse, will be troubled by an emotion that they have neglected, and will be throbbed by a love that has been proved to be illusory by countless people. And these hearts may arise inadvertently, making people hard to prevent, and when they are discovered, they are caught off guard, in vain, and fall into a more confused state. In real life, many people wear hypocritical masks and rarely show their true feelings and inner thoughts in front of others. Lack of conversation makes many people feel physically and mentally exhausted. In the network world, facing the computer, the pressure is much less. Here we can put aside all pretences and communicate with people in calm words. This kind of communication narrows the distance between hearts, releases our feelings without reservation in the emotional world, and gives us a real space to be ourselves, so that our feelings and dreams can fly with music in such a real space. Perhaps in life, it is difficult for you to say "I love you" easily in front of the person you like, but in the network, you can boldly shout it out. You can send flowers, kiss and hug to the person you like online, write love letters, propose marriage and even get married online. Although these are virtual scenes, people's feelings are real, with ups and downs and real love. Some people will say that these are all impulsive behaviors. Even if everything is said online and finally separated, you don't have to bear any responsibility, so online dating is just a game and a dream. However, when you fall in love with someone, those true feelings, those feelings, those trance-like thoughts, those inner desires, those sweet romances, those very much in love, can you say that it is a love without feelings and responsibilities? Maybe the one behind the screen is just an abstract code for you, but those feelings of love do exist. No one can erase these inner feelings because of the illusion of the internet. Even if it turns into a sad past without results, its memories will still be hidden in my heart. Online dating has charming beauty, which fascinates some people, makes love more romantic and makes life better, but in any case, online dating is always too empty. So many times, for many people, online dating comes and goes in a hurry. When all the blushes fade away with the encounter, those who hesitated between reality and virtuality, those who were so close at hand, may also fade away because of the fading enthusiasm. Giving up may be unwilling, but continuing. The distance between reality and reality makes people feel physically and mentally exhausted. After weighing, they always choose to give up, so everything goes up in smoke, which is also the saddest and helpless place of online dating. The beauty and romance of online dating make people online have a kind of virtual online dating, and the attraction and uniqueness of online dating make people who linger online have a fatal trap and fall into ecstasy. Although the flowers of online love are gorgeous, there are few results, which is the most painful thing for people trapped in them. Lovely people are emotional animals. Treating online love correctly, without extravagant hopes and harm, and relaxing the heart is probably the best ending.
Edit this section of danger
The charm of online dating lies in the illusion of the network, and the harm of online dating lies in the illusion of the network. If you naively think that the Internet is a paradise and linger, it will endanger normal real life, my friend. Don't take online dating seriously! After all, the romance of online dating is rooted in the illusory network. At best, it can only be used as a condiment or a side dish in life, and it must not be a big meal. If you indulge in it, you will lose more than you gain. Indeed, some online lovers have really become lovers in real life and get along well with each other. That's because the two sides don't wear many masks when communicating online, so they will feel that there is not much difference after meeting. They can also fall in love with abstract images online, and naturally accept real people offline. However, not every online love will end in a happy ending, but more is "from ruin".
It has been said that the network usually produces three kinds of people. The first will highlight his second personality on the internet, the second will be the kind of person he "hopes" to become on the internet, and the third will be the kind of person he "can't" become on the internet. So many people wear masks online, and the person you like online may actually be another person. Therefore, the emotions generated online are incomplete, and there are few successful examples of online dating returning to reality. After netizens meet, the result is often sad. This kind of example is not uncommon in online dating. The farce that happened not long ago when online dating objects met and found that they were of the same sex is the best example! Maybe people will argue that this is because they don't distinguish between illusion and reality. If online dating is controlled in illusion, it will still be a paradise. This statement is actually untenable. After all, people are emotional animals, and it is always so elusive to tolerate their close lovers on the Internet. How many people can calmly tell themselves that this is online dating, which is illusory; How many people can ruthlessly separate their emotions from reality, and in reality, they can completely treat things as if they never happened! This is especially true for online marriage. Compared with keeping concubines and bigamy, the psychological pressure is not small. The influence of online dating is not limited to netizens. Surfing the Internet for a long time will undoubtedly reduce the communication time with relatives, friends and colleagues, and will naturally bring inconvenience to your family, life and work. More and more American women begin to complain that their husbands spend a lot of time chatting with strange women online, which makes them feel unprecedented family crisis. Dan Gretel, a private detective, said that "extramarital affairs" caused by online chatting and online communication are leading to the disintegration of more and more families. In the cases he took over, 15% of the "peach affair" caused the Internet; Many people indulge in the sweet talk of a stranger in the dead of night, but turn a blind eye to the man or woman who washes dishes for themselves three times a day. An expert on marriage said: "The Internet is connected with the world, but it often causes problems about disconnection." Online dating has brought a devastating impact on our traditional love, family concepts and patterns.
Edit this paragraph to objectively understand online dating.
Online dating has slowly ruined marriage.
"I'm really at a loss. I can't stop thinking about him. Even at work, I can't help thinking of him. Why on earth? We got to know each other through the Internet. He comes and goes like the wind. I have never seen his true face in real life, but he has deeply occupied my heart. I'm trying to control myself, not turning on the computer or surfing the internet, but I finally did it. I want to know what "clues" he left, even a little, so I'm relieved. I also know that he is worried about me. " This is a case of married people's "online love". The heroine is a married woman, but she still can't resist the temptation of the internet and falls into the quagmire of "online love". According to the latest statistics of Shanghai Divorce Legal Consulting Network, extramarital love has become the number one killer affecting the feelings of couples in Shanghai, and "online love" is the fastest growing way of extramarital love, accounting for 20% of the whole extramarital love. Extramarital love is criticized by mainstream social values in real life, but the concealment of the network provides people with a relatively free space and gradually becomes the main way of extramarital love. Chinese women's college
Department researchers believe: "The competitive modern life makes many people feel bored, boring and stressed, dragging their tired bodies but helpless;" The trivial marriage life makes the topics of husband and wife communication less and less, and both men and women may find shelter on the Internet. "Some people think that online dating is much less harmful than extramarital affairs in reality and belongs to the category of forgiveness, but this is not the case. American psychologists believe that love in traditional marriage should include three main components: passion, intimacy and commitment. The online love of married people challenges the traditional concept of marriage: in reality, extramarital love is the pursuit of passion and the destruction of commitment, while online love seems to be a softer extramarital love, which is "being at home, being at home, and being online". On the surface, it didn't break the promise of marriage, but it can still find the long-lost passion in marriage. However, online dating makes the latent marriage problem unresolved for a long time, and the harm to marriage is long-term. Compared with other forms of extramarital affairs, online extramarital affairs are chronic to marriage.
There are many online lovers and the success rate is low.
Online groups are mainly young people, and young people have a strong sense of identity. The result of following the trend led to the popularity of online dating in this group. What is the attitude of young people in the face of more and more online dating phenomena? According to the survey, 65% of the respondents have a neutral attitude towards online dating, neither explicitly expressing their opposition nor openly expressing their approval. But only a few people clearly agree (12%) or oppose (24%) online dating. A sample survey among students by relevant departments shows that 95% students think that online dating has no love, but 35% students have experienced online dating. 9 1% students are not optimistic about online dating, but paradoxically, 63% students say they are willing to try if they have the chance. Among them, 56% people think it is because of emptiness and loneliness.
Accounting for 39%. 14% of the students have experienced 1 times of online dating, and 2 1% of the students have experienced 2-3 times of online dating. However, the respondents' answers to whether online dating is possible are quite different: 8% think it is very possible, 36% think it is a little possible, 28% think it is uncertain, and 25% and 4% think it is impossible and absolutely impossible. Optimists believe that online dating pays more attention to the communication between thoughts and hearts, and love based on this should be stronger and have a greater chance of success. Pessimists believe that,
It is a relatively simple way of understanding in the early days of online dating, which makes the two sides lack real contact and understanding, so it is not easy to succeed.
Online dating changes values.
Online dating is a new change in interpersonal communication and a new way of life, and its appearance will also bring such and such problems. The reporter interviewed some young people, and they all said that the success rate of online dating is very low, so why do many netizens enjoy it? Careful analysis is mainly because people's values have changed. In the past, one thing was either good or bad, and there can be no third situation. Now people generally think that good and bad, right and wrong cross each other, and there is no absolute boundary. Young people's curiosity about new things inspires them to try some marginal behaviors. According to the survey, young people nowadays are quite tolerant of online dating, and most of the respondents said that this is a matter of personal choice and will not interfere and evaluate.
Online dating may cause personality split.
In addition, the survey also found that most of the online dating objects are from cities. Maybe young people in relatively developed areas spend more time online.
Things are less exclusive, and online dating is more likely. Experts engaged in psychological education found through analysis that online dating includes many psychological types, such as games, emotional sustenance, pursuit of romance, self-expression, pursuit of fashion, drifting with the flow and so on. No matter which type it is, almost all have a common feature: treating online dating as an online game and conducting online emotional communication, "not only can we completely abandon all the rules of the real society, but we can also blur gender and identity and treat everything as a game." Experts believe that entering
Later, invisible network cable began to replace Yue Lao's red line. It is not surprising that many men and women who have never met each other or even are far away from each other fall in love through the internet, but we should not regard online dating as the pursuit of life. The survey shows that some young people do not rest at noon and at night, and work overtime for online dating, which not only seriously affects their study or work, but also tends to become withdrawn or even split.
Internet is just a way of communication.
Internet is a very hidden way of communication. The communication between people and the opposite sex, from the earliest matchmaker introduction, to the later correspondence and telephone contact, to today's online dating, is different in that you can see, hear and get in touch with each other's people and things more or less in other ways, but you can't have a perceptual understanding of each other on the Internet. Marriage experts believe that the Internet is an inevitable way for people to communicate in the information age. Through online dating or even marriage, we can break the narrow interpersonal circle around us and expand the choice. However, because the network world is virtual and divorced from the material foundation, it is not stable. For a stable marriage and family, the practical effect of this method cannot be exaggerated. Experts in the judicial department believe that using the internet to fall in love is not a bad thing. The key is how to avoid risks and hazards. Compared with other ways of love, online dating without meeting each other is easily confused by superficial phenomena, and news that bad people use online dating to commit crimes is also common. Young people must pay more attention to online dating.
Edit this paragraph to eliminate the harm of online dating.
On June 6th, 2006 (65438+1October 6th), the second edition of Meizhou Daily published the article "Making friends online leads to death", which was really sad after reading it. This is a typical online dating accident. 18-year-old girl was in the flower season, but she was killed by her "boyfriend", which made her life die prematurely ... Although the voice of putting an end to the harm of online dating has been called for many years in the society, we have been seeing reports that some teenagers were killed because of online dating for a long time. The harm of online dating is well known, but why are accidents frequent? The author believes that one of the key points is that many teenagers lack healthy hobbies, so that they can easily become standard "internet addicts" immersed in the network, laying the groundwork for various problems caused by online dating in the future. Teenagers lack health and enough hobbies, both for exam-oriented education and for the alienation of teenagers' values. Teenagers don't have the right channels to spend their spare time, which virtually provides "opportunities" for the network to penetrate into their spiritual level. Being exposed to the internet for a long time is extremely addictive. Because of their weak discrimination, they are more likely to be obsessed with illusory online dating, and once these teenagers fall into the quagmire of online dating, no matter how hard you try to persuade them, I am afraid it is useless. In this case, it is not surprising that a young woman rashly met a male netizen she didn't know and was killed. To really put an end to the harm caused by online dating, we must first carry out correct concept guidance and lay a good job in 《
",educate them to understand the advantages and disadvantages of the network; Secondly, we should strengthen the supervision of teenagers' use of the Internet, especially the supervision of minors' use of the Internet. In addition, the most fundamental thing is to start from the source-to cultivate enough and healthy hobbies for teenagers. How do teenagers with multiple health interests (such as reading and sports) get hooked on the Internet? Because online dating is based on long-term investment in the network, as long as you are not obsessed with the network, online dating is difficult to produce. This can also avoid sad accidents such as being killed in online dating.
Edit the results of this paragraph.
It depends on whether your relationship is stable, whether it is possible to be together, and whether he is willing to work hard for it ~ ~ I was online dating before and failed. Because my relationship is unstable, I don't know each other very well, and I haven't even talked about it, so the damage is not great. But my roommate, who has known each other for three years and fell in love for two years, has been in a different place, but because the man graduated this year, he found a job where we went to school. They can meet every day and maybe get married in the future. When two people are in long-distance love, the man often comes over because they love each other deeply ~ ~ In short, the key issue is not online dating. Online dating can be transformed into a long-distance relationship, or a peaceful and often indistinguishable relationship. It's just that my sister is also in a long-distance relationship. She was admitted to her husband's university and got together, so it depends on the attitude of both parties to this love rather than the success of online dating.
Editing this online love is actually narcissism.
Editor's note: With the popularity of the Internet, online dating began to enter many people's lives. It should be said that love is human nature and the internet is a tool. However, people's understanding of online dating is distorted due to incorrect use of the Internet and bad psychology. The four articles published in this issue will help people to re-understand the network and treat their love life better. Although there are still some differences and controversies about the word "online dating" in academic circles, it has long been "deeply rooted in people's hearts" in real life: that is, netizens fall in love through the internet. Enter the word "online love" in a search engine, and all kinds of information will surge. So how to understand the phenomenon of "online dating"? The author believes that in today's virtual world, most unhealthy online dating is a sign of narcissism. This view can be found in the theory of Lacan, a French thinker. Jacques Lacan, a French thinker and psychoanalyst, put forward the famous "mirror stage" theory. Children of 6- 18 months are in front of the mirror. At first, they would call the child in the mirror another child. At this time, the child can't recognize his own image in the mirror. Later, the child grew up and recognized himself in the mirror: "That's me!" " "At this moment, the child's heart is full of ecstasy. In Lacan's view, the child in front of the mirror contains double misunderstanding in this process: when he calls himself another child in the mirror, he identifies himself as "others"; When he recognized the image in the mirror as himself, he took the illusion of light and shadow as reality-confused reality with fiction, and thus began his lifelong infatuation with his mirror. Lacan further believes that the premise of forming the "mirror stage" is the emergence of scarcity, the imaginative denial of scarcity and the emergence of desire. Humans have a long infancy, during which children can't control their bodies, and they can't perceive and grasp their bodies as a whole. The only way to get in touch with the outside world is vision. Children gesture in front of the mirror, "affecting" their own image in the mirror and gaining an illusion of controlling themselves and others-this is an unprecedented power for a child who can't act independently. Today, the pace is getting faster and faster, and the interpersonal relationship in reality is getting more and more alienated. The individual is like a boat, and it is easy to get lost in the sea of Wang Yang. This is a situation of scarcity, but the desire is not diminished. The emergence of the Internet just provides people with a "mirror", which gives people the opportunity to communicate with others and make up for the lack of reality. With the increase of communication, the goodwill of netizens on both sides is getting stronger and stronger. It seems that they can "come at the drop of a hat" for a long time and keep this feeling in their own hands without leaving home. There is a state of "loving you equals loving yourself". For individuals in modern society, this is also an unprecedented force. But at the same time, in the process of online dating, netizens will have a misunderstanding similar to the "mirror stage": treat the images in the "net" as real images and their favorite images, confusing the difference between real and unreal. To a certain extent, online dating is a process in which both netizens are immersed in finding their acceptance and their "image in the mirror". In the general online dating stage, two netizens also have many characteristics of true love, such as in-depth communication and understanding, physical awakening, and cherishing each other's sense of responsibility. After this feeling lasted for a while, I naturally wanted to meet. But as most netizens have experienced, meeting often means the end of the relationship. This is because, before meeting, the two sides deeply "loved" the person in their minds and loved the ideal he (she) they constructed, but they actually loved themselves; After meeting, I found that the other party was not "myself". To sum up, the author thinks that it is desirable to take the Internet as a tool for acquaintance, but true love may still take the traditional "old road".