2. In the middle of the night, my husband got up and had a stomachache. After pulling for half an hour, it's finally over. I clearly heard the sound of flushing the toilet, but I still heard his fart. Q: Honey, haven't you finished yet? Why are you still farting Abdominal pain again? Husband calmly replied: It took so long, so hard, and finally solved the problem. We must salute and celebrate!
3. In primary school, the teacher made up a question in class, which said: A turtle fell into the pit of 100 m, then climbed up, climbed 10 m every hour, and dropped 10 cm every minute. When will this turtle fall! I couldn't, so I reasoned with him. When the turtle couldn't climb up, the teacher got angry and called my parents. After my grandfather came, he read the topic and said angrily to the teacher, you are so funny. Don't talk about turtles. Why don't you try to fall into the pit of 100 meters, kill you and climb up?
4. The wife is fat, especially able to eat. It's very hot today. After drinking, she ate half a watermelon. Then it's time to eat. After eating half a bowl of rice, she said, my stomach is swollen and I can't eat any more! As soon as her voice fell, she picked up a piece of cake and began to eat. I am not calm: Daughter-in-law, aren't you bloated? The wife calmly replied: Eat something dry and absorb water. ...
5. because there is an electronic thermometer at home, but it is the kind that measures the mouth. One day, my little niece was ill and she went to the hospital. As soon as the doctor took out the thermometer, the baby opened his mouth and held it. The doctor said silently: under the arm ... the baby's big eyes flickered and pulled out the temperature needle, which was cuter than scissorhands: yeah ... cute for us?
6. A bus full of passengers is driving fast on the downhill road, and a person is chasing the car closely behind. A passenger stuck his head out of the window and said to the car chaser, man! Forget it, I can't catch up! The man panted, I must catch up, or you will be in big trouble! Answer: True TM can blow. What does it matter to me whether you get on the bus or not? A: I am the driver of this car!
When I was in college, the school began to lose power as soon as it rained heavily. Once it rained until the evening, because there was no electricity, several buddies began to chat in the house. One of them proudly said: when I was a child, I was struck by lightning while herding cattle on the mountain, but nothing happened ... At this time, another buddy asked in surprise: Little brother, what did you do to the cattle? God can't stand it. ...
8. When I was a child, my family was poor. I remember when I was in the third grade, my deskmate was a female man, which was very bad! Once, she ate bubble gum and it stuck to my head. At that time, I was very angry and got into a fight with her ... After the fight, another man ran to a place where no one was there, grinning, dug bubble gum off his head, and chewed it into his mouth while crying and laughing. ...
9. My mother has been urging marriage, and I don't even have a boyfriend. When I was in a hurry, I said, didn't my sister-in-law marry my brother in her thirties? The big deal is that I will become a "leftover woman" like her. Say that finish, I put down my mobile phone guiltily, quickly kicked sandals and slippers under the sofa and sat in danger. Little niece is unhappy: Aunt, can you compare with my mother? My mother graduated from graduate school with a decent job and a stable income. It's called "leftover women" You're a bachelor at best. ...
10. The commander's daughter is in the boudoir and wants to find someone to match her. Teacher Li volunteered: Commander, I have a nephew who is a perfect match for your daughter. He has all the characteristics of an ancient celebrity. The commander was happy and arranged a blind date for his daughter that day. That night, the commander asked her daughter how she was doing, and her daughter replied coldly: It's really famous! Yan Zi's appearance, Wargo's mouth, Napoleon's height, Sun Bin's legs. ...
1 1. On the bus, I saw a mother holding a child and there was no seat, so I stood up and gave them my seat. The mother sat down and said to the child, what should you say to the eldest brother at this time? "The child gave me a look and suddenly said," Thank you so much, young man. You are so sensible! The whole car burst into laughter, and I was immediately stunned ... who taught this!
12. The physics teacher gave a lecture and said that there were two birds standing on the zero line and the fire line respectively. But both birds were electrocuted. What is the reason? The classmate said that they must have kissed, which tells us that Xiuen's love will die ... Teacher: Half right, what I want to say is that the bird's mouth is an insulator. The classmate added: In fact, it is a French kiss! Damn it!