In fact, vomiting is not as good as dieting to lose weight, because vomiting can easily damage your esophagus. Now that you have realized this problem and made up your mind not to induce vomiting, that's good.

You said that you are now "full of fear of food", but it is totally unnecessary. Obesity is not simply based on eating. There are many reasons for obesity, such as decreased activity, excessive fat, excessive junk food, excessive sleep, sleeping after meals, inactivity, depression and so on.

It's best to eat until you are 80% full, then keep exercising, participate in various activities, relax yourself, eat yourself in a good state, and your cheeks will soon return to their original appearance. Just remember, don't vomit impulsively!

Good wishes!