1. "Popular" or "needed" depends on the value.

2. Cognitive keywords of "realizing" high EQ.

3. The value anchor is a high-dimensional value in high EQ.

4. The main factors of establishing relationships are emotional factors and value factors.

5. "Value anchor point" is not only the key to realize high EQ, but also the touchstone to identify high EQ.

6. Who am I, what I need and what I can offer.

7. Self-introduction needs two-way interaction, which I call "three-point positioning method" and "social selfie".

8. Self-introduction: keywords+short sentences+selfies+questions to people around you (negative)+willingness to link.

9. Three-point positioning method:-"Who am I, what can I offer and what I need?" Only by using the "value anchor" thinking can we find the precise positioning of self-value in social networks.

10. Self-timer: up to five keywords to ensure the integrity and eye-catching of the three key messages.

1 1. "Who am I" Key information = What's my name+What do I do?

12. Address book name = industry+position+product+cooperation demand. Pay attention to timely updates, such as career change, promotion and unlocking new skills. This should be reflected in the memorandum.

13. "I need help" or "Give you a chance".

14. Let's talk about value first, because "there must be a lot of thanks" is really low-end.

15. "Redemption" = physical objects or information or services used to make up for the contribution made by the other party to help you.

16. Three keys to redeeming products = seizing opportunities+concreteness+quantification.

17. Not being needed should never be wishful thinking.

18. The key factor that determines your value = the channel you are in+the demand of the other party.

19. Who decides your value depends on your personal efforts and your own talent, which is correct in itself.

20. The key to the value problem: it can not only help you choose a field with twice the result with half the effort, but also solve the problem of talent shortage.

2 1. How to cultivate the brand management ability to become a "red man"? 1. Excellent brands come from excellent skills;

22. One idea that we must adhere to is that we must have brand thinking. In other words, learn to be your own CEO. You should build your own personal brand, turn yourself into a walking advertisement, and have the ability to let others know and remember you.

23. The most important point of high emotional intelligence personal brand thinking is that the most important thing for a personal brand is the state, which determines your position in other people's resource list.

24. Effective social interaction means that most time and energy are spent on personal improvement.

25. After learning the brand thinking with high emotional intelligence, you must learn to subtract your social interaction.

26. Label the strugglers with your personal brand.

27. The aura of the protagonist is the feeling of being able to achieve something.

David McLelland, an American social psychologist and professor at Harvard University, put forward the famous "theory of achievement needs" more than half a century ago. Simply put, a person with high demand for achievement can behave more like a person who can achieve great things in reality.

28. How to make a methodology that can achieve things: 1. There is always a goal in my heart that can force out my potential; 2. Understand that only you can achieve yourself; 3. Pay more attention to results than efforts.

29. As a story listener, you need to pay attention to: 1. Is the story background good or bad? 2. Does the hero of this story have a strong desire to succeed? 3. What is the ending of the story, happy or sad? 4. What led to the ending of the story, external factors or the hero's own reasons?

30. Tell a story worthy of your own brand.

3 1. As a struggler who wants to build a personal brand, the ability to tell a good story should be your standard.

32. Jeremy Goldman, the founder and CEO of FireBrand Group, mentioned a good method in his book Becoming Popular: How to Build a Personal Brand: the ecstasy principle.

33. Ecstasy principle: relevance: relevance; Authentic: authenticity; Persuasive: persuasive; Timely: timeliness; Understandable: understandable; Correlatable: * * * * sound line; Educational: educational;

34. The core of storytelling is the core of value.

35. A good brand is eye-catching.

36. The first business card for building a personal brand is image management.

37. Image management is simply your body management and dress management.

Only by managing your energy well can you live an efficient life and become a real struggler.

39. I wear high heels in class. Secondly, I never sit in class. Third, I never use PPT, and I always write on my tablet.

40. Do a good job in energy management, so that your efforts will be efficient.

4 1. dress management: don't conquer the world with a suit; Quality cannot be discounted; Wear your professional style; Wear your own characteristics; High emotional intelligence hidden in clothes;

42. A wardrobe for hanging clothes and a convenient ironing machine. Decent. The color is simple and elegant, and the style is simple, unless your work is related to art.

43. To wear one's own characteristics is to maintain the uniformity of dress in similar occasions and distinguish oneself from others with some trinkets, thus establishing a strong connection between dress and oneself.

44. Even if you want to wear your own personality again, you should pay attention to the occasion. Some colors and some styles are reserved for the protagonist on some occasions. When these women choose bright colors, such as red, pink and orange, I choose solemn black and rigorous gray. On that occasion, I think my role is "green leaves", and I want to set off their beauty.

45. There is an EQ index hidden in your clothes. Appropriateness is not only appropriate, but also considerate of others. As a person with high EQ, this is your last and most important dressing lesson. If you can master all of the above, then you will become a master of personal image management and will definitely add points to your personal brand.

46. Send you a reliable digital business card.

47. Form of friends circle: 1. Career: what I do is the most valuable thing in the world, and I don't enlighten anything I don't agree with. 2. Live broadcast: Although we are just ordinary people, we can still live in the spotlight. Only when we like it can we have friendship. 3. Tucao type: What's wrong with this world? It looks more and more unpleasant. 4. Chicken soup type: Life is terrible, so it is better to dry this bowl of chicken soup. 5. Show off: I want to tell the world that I am doing well and make those who look down on me envy and hate.

48. Strugglers with high emotional intelligence should do: 1 if they want to manage their online image well. Subtract his own information, leaving high-quality information that can be "realized" and filtering out low-value messy information. 2. Consider how to display this information from the standpoint of others and give yourself a reason not to be blocked by others. Don't take yourself too seriously. It is much more valuable for others to remember your major and your professional attitude than to remember you. 4. Now is an era of serious lack of attention. To control your desire for attention, you must know how to restrain yourself.

49. Restraint requires high emotional intelligence.

50. What can I do to make myself more "valuable": altruistic thinking.

5 1. Yours has nothing, just a matter of perspective.

52. The highest standard of learning is "learning the five-ring method" represented by "knowing education".

53. Value thinking should use its own value to establish contact with people around it.

54. No matter what kind of problems you face, don't rush to start work. Think about what kind of problem this is, whether it is a cognitive problem or a practical problem.

55. If it is a cognitive problem, you need to break the window paper; If it is a practical problem, then you need tools. Only by making an accurate judgment on the attributes of the problem can we solve the problem accurately and efficiently.

56. Maximizing the interests of buyers and sellers is the starting point of Alipay.

57. Time and energy are the scarcest resources for leaders.

58. I call the time and energy needed to accomplish these things undifferentiated resources. In other words, if these things are done by him, you or others, the effect is the same.

59. Close contact with big coffee.

60. Murphy's Law is called one of the three major discoveries of western culture in the 20th century.

6 1. What is the aiming principle? Is to do things like shooting, aim at the target and shoot directly

62. When unsatisfactory results appear, we will subconsciously look for reasons from the outside world, which is determined by our sense of attribution.

63. Murphy's Law is broken: 1. Direct inquiry/careful observation; 2. Just stare at the target itself/care about everything he cares about; 3. If possible …/If necessary …;

64. Exchange the consciousness of string for the value of pearls.

65. "Your social circle is your value.

66. Networking is not a role. The essence of contacts is resources, and resources can help you solve problems. What is the definition of resources? People, opportunities, wealth and information.

Rope law

67. How to understand this "rope law"? It means that, just like the string that binds pearls together on a necklace, people with superior qualifications and resources are linked with their own circles, so that they can have the same social status as themselves.

68. How to gain a foothold among the rich: The key to meaning lies in being able to get started and realize the value directly.

69. The correct way to stand among the rich is to help them.

70. In order to make this thing more beautiful, try to achieve the following three keys: First, slash. Second, strive for perfection. Finally, thread the needle.

7 1. When using rope method to expand resources, we should not only have the spirit of seeking inward, but also learn to borrow from abroad.

72. According to the rope law, giving is a state of mind, altruism is an angle, helping others is an ability, and the three pillars are indispensable.

73. There are only five steps to get rid of the plight of passers-by: the first step: give each other enough sense of security; Step 2: be enthusiastic, but be measured; The third step: change the home court and give the initiative to the other side; The fourth step: trouble others and let feelings warm up in mutual help; Step 5: Build an alliance and turn each other into "one of our own" with a sense of belonging.

74. Before communicating with each other, you should carefully observe each other, including their appearance and dress details, and find a starting point for communication. Then, when communicating, we should be serious and sincere, ask more questions, talk less, and try to guide each other to talk about themselves.

75. In the process of conversation, we should understand each other's needs and give feedback in time. At the same time, in order to avoid the embarrassment caused by the other party's initiative, you'd better prepare a conversation list for yourself at ordinary times, which lists the questions you can ask when chatting with the target object, the topics you are good at, and the common answers when asked some questions. According to this list, regular self-training and timely updating will make you feel comfortable.

76. If you can form an alliance with others, you can influence others. For the alliance, Diodor proposed two ideas: the unity of body and mind and the unity of action.

77. The so-called personal anxiety is just an illusion.

78. The anxiety of real strugglers is temporary.

79. 10/20/ 150/ What is the rule for? Used to manage the address book.

80. Acceleration: From procrastination to efficiency

8 1. So what is the specific method to treat online hunger? It is the "10/20/ 150 rule" and the annual personal relationship management system.

82. 10 management rules, this 10 person is your relative, and they will never turn against you.

83.20 people management rules, these 20 people are related to the main goals you want to achieve this year.

84. 150 personnel management rules. We know many people every year, but not all of them have to be your friends. 150 is a candidate of 20 people.

85. The rule of10/20/150 can also be regarded as a network classification. After network classification, we need to enter the next step, that is, the second way to deal with network hunger: to establish an annual network management system for ourselves, that is, the social capital management system.

86. The annual personal relationship management system is established according to the annual goals, which is an indirect way to achieve your future goals.

87. So how to build it? You can make yourself an interpersonal relationship management manual every year, which is what I often call a "social capital" notebook, and use tools to achieve efficient management of your interpersonal relationships.

88. Marking: The first category is the basic information of the other party, such as birthday, preferences, etc. There are five specific marking points, namely 1 and what is your relationship with each other. Remember to mark each other's birthdays here. 3. The situation of the other parent's children is his parents and children respectively. 4. Preference, that is, what the other person really likes. 5. An important day for both of us.

89. The second category is your relationship with the other party, which needs to be marked and evaluated. The content includes how you met, what friends you have in common, and the common friends will determine the common topic of your to a certain extent, and what is the important experience of the other party.

90. Making friends with outsiders, the circle integration method of people with high emotional intelligence.

9 1. How many friends you have, how many possibilities you have.

92. Her opening remarks were "I don't know how to tell you".

93. "This is really a good question, and I should thank you."

94. Method of breaking contact: 1. Reduce your aggression, 2. Look for similarities in differences, and 3. It would be better if there was a "moon elder".

95. Six degrees of separation will help you tear down the barriers in your circle.

96. Breaking down the barriers in the circle is the most important thing in establishing ecological socialization.

97. The six-degree separation theory is regarded as an artifact to dismantle the barriers in the circle. What people value is not its "six degrees" or "three degrees", but the core of this theory: "network connection"

98. The concrete operation method of the six-degree theory: the richness and diversity of social communication; 2. Analyze and give your resources a "physical examination"; 3. Matching makes resources flow;

99. Turn knowing someone into getting a world.

100. A truly effective network must be a relationship based on a deep understanding of each other's personality and an objective understanding of each other's value.

10 1. First, the solution to any problem is a combination of boxing, and it is difficult to completely solve the problem by one method alone. You have to think in combination. Second, quickly establish the law of ecological thinking-fission law. Is to make friends with a group of people efficiently through one person.

102. Your family resources, classmates' resources, and resources accumulated in the process of training and learning.

103. Never try to make friends with everyone.

104. Eco-socialization encourages you to make friends with people different from yourself, but it doesn't mean you make friends with everyone.

105. As a struggler, how do you judge whether the other person has the same values as you? 1. Everything must be called a just man; 2. The essence of opposition is opposition; 3. If you can't, you will be far away from poetry; 4. Enlarge efforts, but never talk about results; 5. consider yourself a Buddhist bereaved person;

106. Keep a sense of boundaries and get along just right.

107. If you want to establish an ecological social interaction, enrich your personal resources and make more different friends, you have to get along well with each other.

108. How to grasp the sense of boundary? 1. Push others by yourself, set a restricted area, 2. Remind them in time and make their unhappiness clear. Never form an alliance unless necessary.

109. How to effectively balance socialization and progress?

1 10. Why don't I advocate that you die? First, we are obsessed with sunk costs and don't want our previous efforts to be in vain. Second, I am a mental inertia. I would rather go into darkness than start all over again. Third, after losing the goal, I have already forgotten my initial heart.

1 1 1. Cost awareness, including your time, energy, finances and opportunities.

First, whether the applicable resources you have can support you to achieve your goals. Second, estimate your input-output ratio, and whether the expenditure in this link will affect your implementation in other links. Third, this is the most important thing. If you have started thinking about the first two questions, it means that it is time for you to stop at once.

1 12. Only those who know how to treat social interaction with cost thinking can be considered as high emotional intelligence.

1 13. An algorithm to avoid life being dragged down by social interaction:

1 14. The life algorithm is a basic routine that you keep repeating when you face the world, improving the probability of achieving your goals.

1 15. Social slimming: This algorithm is Dunbar number, or 150 law.

1 16. Dunbar number: first, distinguish the inner ring from the outer ring, second, the essence of the inner ring-"decoration", and third, the number is fixed and the individual is changing.

1 17. How to find the right person at a critical moment?

1 18. Personal hierarchical file: The rule of personal stratification is to divide the personal circle into several circles according to the intimacy of usual communication. Divided into relatives and friends, close friends, relationships that need cooperation, and acquaintances.

1 19. hierarchical archiving of contacts to improve the speed of social start-up.

On the basis of stratification according to the intimacy of the relationship, the stratification rule applies occupational division to vertical separation, so that you can find the most suitable person to help you in the shortest time. It should be noted that the cutting range you divide must be treated differently according to different industries and fields, so as not to cause a burden.

Let "realization" always be the present continuous tense.

The so-called six-circle rule is to fully develop and use every individual social resource in your network resources. The social resources of each of us are distributed in six social circles, namely family circle, colleague circle, classmate circle, hobby circle, platform circle and workplace circle.

Trial and error is a big cost, and the lower the better.

First of all, he has the ability to peel off emotions, which is a feature of high emotional intelligence. First, stick to your principles to the maximum extent and ensure that things will not deviate from the established direction; Second, maximize the enthusiasm of the other party and ensure the smooth implementation of things.

No matter whether the proposal put forward by the other party is reasonable or not, we must first affirm the goodwill and sincerity of the other party. In the process of making a new plan, what you need to do is to guide and let the other party say conclusive words. This is the key to his sense of identity and participation.

SWOT is actually the initials of four core keywords.

S stands for advantage, that is, the advantage of the analysis object in enterprise strategic analysis. In my mental model, I want you to think about the rationality and feasibility of the two schemes.

W stands for weakness, indicating the shortcomings and defects of the analyzed object in enterprise strategic analysis. In my mental model, I want you to pay attention to the unreasonable and infeasible parts of the two schemes.

O stands for opportunity, which means the opportunity of the analysis object in enterprise strategic analysis. In my mental model, what I want you to pay attention to is that those places that can bring benefits and opportunities to each other in these two schemes focus on the schemes and suggestions put forward by the other party.

T stands for threat, which means the threat faced by the analyzed object in enterprise strategic analysis. In my mental model, what I want you to pay attention to is that those places that may bring losses to the other party in these schemes focus on your original preset scheme.

126. This is the SWOT model. In the most straightforward language, it is to compare and analyze your preset plan with the other party's proposal. The focus of the analysis is that the first two points are considered from their own standpoint, judging what is reasonable, unreasonable, feasible and unfeasible. After the two-point analysis, it is necessary to change the position and re-examine the judgment from the other side's point of view. Focus on observing which of your preset plans may bring losses and threats to the other party, and which of your re-proposed plans are the other party's concerns and hopes. This is the basis of your new plan. If you consider the above problems clearly, it is not difficult for your new plan to achieve two maximums.

Another function of SWOT is to help you get rid of perceptual thinking mode and enter rational thinking mode as soon as possible. After all, considering these problems is very painstaking, and once you start, you have no time to take care of your mood. It should be noted that regardless of whether the proposal put forward by the other party is reasonable and feasible, we must first affirm the goodwill and sincerity of the other party. In the process of making a new plan, what you need to do is to guide and let the other party say conclusive words. This is the key to his sense of identity and participation.

Hit the pain point, six social problems that only people with high emotional intelligence can solve:

1. There is nothing you can't refuse, only people who don't know how to refuse.

1. Let the will belong to the will and the ability to the ability. 2. Sandwich rejection method. 3.3. Give an alternative plan. 4. Give the other person an unacceptable answer.

First of all, all rejected art has an ultimate point, which makes the will belong to the will and the ability to belong to the ability; Second, all the art of rejection is to minimize the negative impact of rejection on interpersonal relationships, but don't expect the rejected person to be full of joy.

129. The correct way to comfort others needs to pay attention to the following points: 1. Pay attention to emotions and blur the background. 2. Control your desire for expression. Don't say "don't cry", say "cry, cry". I can feel your sadness, just as I experienced it myself.

Help: 1. Please don't move unless you move. 2. If you want things to be perfect, you can't be too full. 3. There are many people who do not exceed their authority. 4. Help should also pay attention to numerical algorithms. 5. Be diligent, but not lazy. 6. It is necessary to accept the return.

What is really high emotional intelligence is to dare to compliment others blatantly.

Like and praise: 1. Everyone loses their age and adds money when things happen. If you have something to say, you can't make a hole in the wind. 3. Do what you like and say a possibility. 4. Laugh at yourself appropriately, but don't bring disgrace to oneself.

The closer we get, the closer we get.

1. Effective criticism needs clear goals. 2. Use the power of silence instead of verbal violence. 3. Grasp the discretion of speaking lightly.

1. Apologizing depends on the timing. 2. Open an introduction to release emotions. 3. Guide the other party to make a double offer. 4. Show sincerity with the aftermath. 5. Use the past to reach an understanding.

Let's talk about appetizing before communication.

The first key point of "small talk"-mentality. The second key point of "small talk"-cutting into the angle.

Reply: 1. No exceptions, no outsiders. 2. Timely and intuitive. 3. Find a solution. 4. Precise control.

It is the fourth point of the reply: always compare and be accurate.

Control, make your diligence and iteration precise and visual.