Everyone, more or less, will have some "unbearable" past events.

Like what

Losing weight failed 33 times;

The guitar I bought on New Year's Day is brand new.

I signed up for many classes. Nothing has changed except a few more contacts on WeChat.

……

But this is already the case, and I am afraid that a review will not change anything.

So I won't tell you today.

Let's look to the future: what should we do in the future? Is it necessary to keep the "three-minute fever" like this?

You might say: it's a matter of willpower. You can do some exercise to improve your willpower.

Actually, it's not.

Anders Eriksson, a psychologist in the book Deliberate Practice, said according to his research results for many years:

So far, humans have not found any "willpower genes".

In other words, the so-called willpower does not exist. This concept is more like being invented by people to explain "persistence".

Therefore, those words that "willpower is like a muscle, it will become stronger with more practice" are actually untenable.

For example, we have all heard a saying:

Repeating the same behavior can make your willpower stronger.

Suppose that in the same early punching group, everyone repeats the same behavior and frequency, but what is the result?

Some people can continue to get up early and punch in after 30 days; And some people finish 30 days and quickly return to their original state. Don't sleep at night, don't get up in the morning, and say to yourself: It's over. ...

See, even if you work as hard as others, the result is likely to be: what should it be?

So, don't dwell on the problem of "insufficient willpower".

It's not that it makes you unable to persist in your actions and succeed.

What is that?

Second, the lack of self-control and persistence is human nature.

On the American news Vox website, there is a latest research article about "self-control".

The conclusion in this paper subverts common sense: human beings are all bad at resisting temptation without exception.

In other words, we are not good at self-control and persistence by nature.

If you can't exercise every day from the beginning, go to bed early and get up early. It is against humanity to force yourself to be a "master of self-discipline".

Let's make an analogy. "Rinrin bell", the alarm clock rang in the morning.

We often describe this scene like this:

A voice said: since you promised to get up early, you should do it.

Another voice said: Go back to sleep, it's still early anyway.

One is an angel and the other is a devil. In the end, whoever wins will have to go through a fierce struggle.

However, this is not the case at all!

Scientists have found through research that people who can persist in getting up early for a long time have no such struggle in their minds.

Mcgill University in Canada made a survey of students. This conclusion has been verified.

Strengthening self-control does not help students get good grades;

Most of the students with excellent final grades have less temptation to contact.

So, instead of making a painful choice, it is better to leave only one option.

So what can we do to make ourselves "only have one choice" and make ourselves better?

Third, to become the ideal self, starting from "digging motivation"

As we said just now, there are no "two little people" arguing with each other in the minds of self-disciplinarians.

But most of us will still swing back and forth between "doing" and "not doing"

How can we make ourselves a self-disciplined person without choice?

The answer is: mining motivation.

How to do it specifically? I have four suggestions:

1, replace bad motivation with good motivation.

According to your goal, we can divide the motivation of doing things into "good and bad".

For example. For example, you want to lose weight.

Then, the good motivation is: eat less and exercise more.

The bad motivation is: watching TV series on the sofa after dinner.

In order to achieve the goal of "losing weight", it is really difficult to directly deny your motivation to "brush the drama".

If you can choose one of the good motives instead of "brushing the drama", it will be relatively simple.

Step 2 lower the threshold

If you want to exercise, start with half an hour's exercise.

If you want to read, choose 10 page from the book you are interested in.

If you want to quit smoking, you might as well tell yourself first: a day without smoking is success.

Set your goal too high, and your "good motivation" will get weaker and weaker because you are too tired. Eventually lost to "bad motives."

3. Maintain a good mental and physical state.

When is your plan most likely to fail?

I am in a bad mood these two days. Anyway, let's eat first.

I didn't sleep well yesterday and felt dizzy. Don't embarrass yourself.

I am lovelorn ... I want to let go of myself!

Yes, when there are physical or psychological problems, your motivation will be biased towards the "bad" side.

So, please try your best to stay healthy and get enough sleep.

Otherwise, even the best plan will easily fall through when you feel tired or sick.

4. Actively design processes and form habits.

When you become more and more familiar with "good motivation" and gradually become friends, you might as well design a daily process for yourself.

Match your behavior with each time period, and it will happen naturally.

In this way, from deliberate choice to a habit that must be done.

Angels and demons in your head will naturally disappear.

4. Who is enjoying the dividend of self-discipline?

Some people say that poverty will limit our imagination.

I want to say that poverty will also limit your self-discipline.

When you have money, self-discipline will be easier.

Because self-discipline represents long-term returns. When people are poor, it is easier to pay attention to immediate interests.

For the poor, the future is full of uncertainty. Why bother at this moment?

Therefore, most successful people are self-disciplined.

For example, in order to present the most perfect dance, Yang li Ping, who has hardly eaten a full meal; For movies, gain 97 pounds to shoot the old, and then lose 50 pounds to shoot the Aamir Hussain Khan ratio of youth; Wang Jianlin gets up at four o'clock every day to handle business.

Do they succeed because of self-discipline, or do they become more self-disciplined because of their achievements?

It's hard for outsiders to tell.

The only thing that is certain is that they can actively stimulate the enthusiasm for doing things and are good at discovering "good motives".

Then through constant self-evolution, we break through ourselves again and again, thus forming a benign growth cycle model.

So, what about you?

What plan do you want to achieve and what kind of yourself do you want to be?

Anyway, please stop complaining about willpower.

We might as well use today's four methods to actively explore motivation and become a self-disciplined person, so we have no choice.

Success is not far away.