Question: I am male, not in love, and have several female friends who play well. I always pay for going out with them once in a while, which has always been the case before. But recently I began to question this behavior. When I get along with them, why does the man always pay? Personally, I have no desire to pursue them. It's just that when I was an ordinary friend, I asked a female friend of mine to invite me to play an activity, and that female friend explicitly refused. I wonder, isn't my money money? Your money is money? Isn't it feasible for us to take turns to treat guests to enhance friendship? Must be paid by the man. Going out with male friends, everyone consciously takes turns to treat. You're in charge this time, and I'll treat the back next time. I asked my male friends around me and found that most men and women go out, whether they are in love or not, most of them pay, and women stand by and watch. Few women have the concept of AA. Now basically, many women have lost the concept of taking turns to spend. All men pay? Is this the right way to get along?

If you earn 20,000 yuan a month, you probably won't mind inviting a woman to dinner occasionally, even if you pay the bill every time.

If you earn 100000 yuan a month, you probably don't care where you go and whose money you spend. I don't care about social conditions. Maybe a woman's beauty is usually spent by others every time, and she deserves not to find a man. Maybe a good-looking woman needs a man to spend money every time, and the people around her are worth it. But what is more important should be how you spend your money. As a person, you can be generous or stingy, but you'd better know where all your money is spent. Some people care about health and are willing to spend tens of thousands of dollars for physical examination, which is beyond reproach; Some people love to travel and are willing to spend more than half of their annual salary to travel to Europe. It is understandable that some people advocate luxury goods and are willing to scrimp, eat instant noodles and buy second-hand; Some people love beauty and are willing to spend a lot of money on sex, which is nothing. But the point is, if you don't like spending money, then why do you spend it? If I were you, I would be very willing to spend money to invite beautiful women to dinner, because it is beautiful; I will be very willing to spend money to invite friends who can chat with me to dinner, because I am happy; I will be very willing to spend money to invite people with depth to dinner, because it will open my eyes; Will be very willing to spend money to invite people who have business contacts to dinner because of their interests; I will be willing to spend money to invite leaders to dinner, because it will help my future. My own feeling is that I can't ask more people I want to invite to dinner. If you are not satisfied with the invitation, why should you care whether others invite you back? Go ahead. If it's irrelevant, don't say AA. I won't even go to dinner. If you are a poor child, you have to spend your money in more rewarding places, right? Reply 2: From a girl's point of view, let me talk about my opinion. First of all, my own attitude is this:

Ordinary friend AA, the other party is scrambling to pay, so I will find an opportunity to invite it back, or give Christmas gifts or something to balance it out. Boyfriend depends. My first boyfriend is poor, so I may not spend less than him when we are together. The latter had a good economic foundation and didn't give me a chance to pay (the income gap between him and me was huge, so I can understand that he really didn't want me to spend money), so I didn't rush to pay at all in this case, because I knew that money was a very insignificant detail in this relationship.

For me, if I have the chance to pay, I will pay, and 55 yuan will be exchanged for 46 yuan ... If not, I will buy drinks on foot, and I will buy a cup of coke popcorn if I am invited to the movies. In short, it's easier to get along with people. I really don't have a chance to pay, and I won't blush outside and have to rush to pay, thinking about others' good. It is not too late for a good girl to repay her kindness in ten years, but as a girl from Jiangsu and Zhejiang, I am often regarded as a monster.

My memory is particularly deep. I have a good friend from Jinhua in college. His family is very good and generous, but he is a little male chauvinist. At first, he always invited me. I felt a little guilty, so when I came out for dinner again, I insisted on paying the taxi fare. He was angry! ! Words are full. You won't let me pay, but you look down on me. Finally, I actually "educated" and said, "No wonder you treat yourself as a man and don't have a boyfriend!" I felt sorry for this sentence for a long time. As confused as today's topic, I began to ask myself seriously: Is there something wrong with my values? What the hell should I do? But at that time, the great wisdom tiger was not born yet, and I didn't know who to ask. If I ask my family, then they must stand by me and tell me what is important and what is self-esteem, self-confidence and self-improvement? Blablabla ... but the more I look at it, the more strange it is: boys always take the initiative to pay, and girls always take it for granted. For example, a sister told me that she was dating a boy for the first time. If the boy simply doesn't pay enough, she will not give the opportunity to meet again on the grounds of "not enough atmosphere". For example, there is a Shanghai boy in the college class. He usually suggests AA at parties. He explained that when he went out with his classmates in Shanghai, everyone got used to AA, but that didn't stop many people in the class from making jokes about AA. And according to my observation, there are fewer girls and more boys who laugh at his AA. Another example is my best friend, the Shanghai girl. She said that she had never paid money for fooling around with boys in her life. In her opinion, it is incredible to wait for girls to spend money or AA, which is a bit "worthless". There seems to be a contradiction with the last one, so I haven't understood the atmosphere of inviting people to dinner in Shanghai. ) There are too many examples. I have cited several stories around me. Because I know all the people in these stories, I can say responsibly that these girls are not petty bourgeoisie and those boys are not stingy. They are all good people in life, and sometimes they even give generously. But interestingly, they are very sensitive about who should pay for going out with the opposite sex. So I think this topic raises a very good question. I read each of the following answers with great interest and paid attention to the gender of each respondent. In fact, no one really cares about spending money itself, and even everyone should carefully bypass the minefield of "I care about money" and seriously discuss the meaning and value behind paying the bill. So going out with the opposite sex becomes a symbol. Things that can be interpreted include but are not limited to: no atmosphere, no ambition, butch, feminism, TA wants to fuck me, TA loves me very much, and TA is not so interested in me ... Why not just have a meal? How complicated is it? I think it may be because of the inequality between men and women in our society for thousands of years. Everyone here today feels that this question is "a little sensitive", "difficult to answer" and "not that simple", whether you are a man or a woman, whether you are snapping up, waiting for a purchase or going into battle every time, you are not immune. We all grew up in an atmosphere of inequality between men and women. Looking back, do those who complain that this society is unfair to women accept boys' bills more naturally? And those who claim that modern society puts too much pressure on men are more willing to pay for it? And those who claim that I invite 55 boys in turn (such as me), what affects your sensitive little nerve "uneven" fear? So I don't want to attribute the problem of the project to money. Of course, it is undeniable that some people just want to eat and drink. But if you want to say that those girls who should have been waiting for boys to pay are of poor quality, then I must stand up and speak for them. They are just like those boys who swear to defend girls' right to pay (including those who don't care about money and have no money to save face and tighten their belts), but they are deeply influenced by the idea that men are superior to women.

Put a specific situation, I hope that the majority of men can feel the situation. Have all the boys who have been in love seen the "unreasonable trouble" when their girlfriends have an argument? When you care about the truth and she only cares about your attitude, feel whether you still love her. In the same way, when you think this girl loves to take advantage and doesn't want to pay for a meal, she may be wronged: "Where am I not enough friends?" Who has been comforting you on the phone when you are sad? " Did I buy you medicine and send you porridge when you were sick? I didn't forget to chip in to buy a cake on my birthday! "Then she will wonder why you don't remember all this.