20 15 hilarious biographical sketch script "that thing"

Characters: Zhen Xuan, Huan Bi (Zhen Xuan's maid), An Zhinuo, Shen Guiren, Wen Taiyi, Hua Fei,

Song Zhi (the servant girl of Hua Fei), emperor.

Props: a table, three stools, two cups of milk tea, Mickey hat, two fans, two handkerchiefs, a fire extinguisher and a bottle of Yida.

Clothing:

Zhen Xuan: Qing Palace clothes, big shorts and old Beijing cloth shoes. The left leg says: Please look at the right leg, and the right leg says: one leg is hairy.

Ann vowed to wear rabbit ear hair clips.

Shen Meizhuang: Holding a magnifying glass,

Hua Fei: She wears false eyelashes, a Mickey hat and glasses wrapped in yellow paper.

Your majesty:

Zhen Xuan-Zhou

Huan Biwei Xinhua

Hua Fei-Dong Shengyuan

Answered the question-Han Ning

Shen Guiren-Li Peng

Song Zhi-Zhang Liyan

Emperor-Ji Yongshun

Cure too much-Gao Tengteng

Scene 1: Zhen Xuan and Ann promise,

Scene 2: Zhen Xuan, An Zhinuo, Shen Meizhuang and Dr. Wen Taiyi.

Scene 2: Zhen Xuan and Hua Fei

Scene 3: Zhen Xuan, Hua Fei and the Emperor.

Narrator: This drama refuses to be watched by employees with extremely low laughter, uncontrollable emotions, pounding heart and slightly high blood pressure. If you have chest tightness, shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat, red face and other symptoms, please be conscious.

First field

Zhou Zhen: Huanbi, what do you think of my handkerchief embroidery? (Zhen Xuan is sitting on a stool embroidering a handkerchief while talking to Huanbi. )

Wei Huan: Go to the young master again. He is an excellent craftsman. You see you are nearsighted for this veil, which makes the emperor's distressed liver tremble.

Zhou Zhen: You are so sweet. See if you can still speak so well when you are married.

Wei Huan: What are you talking about? I don't get married because I'm still young. (Handkerchiefs cover your face/stamp your feet shyly)

Zhou Zhen: Let everyone see how small you are, except for your small eyes. Get married as soon as possible. Into a rich family like me, don't be as deep as the sea ~ as deep as the sea ~ (sigh)

Narrator: master report, Ann promised to ask for an audience.

Zhou Zhen: Please (put down the embroidered handkerchief and pick up the handkerchief on the table)

(Music from Soft Court)

Han An: Ling Rong pays tribute to her sister.

Sister Ann Zhou Zhen, please get up quickly.

Two people salute (hands slightly squat twice)

Han An: (touching Zhen Xuan's belly) Sister, are you happy again? I haven't seen you for a few days, and this belly grows faster and faster!

Zhou Zhen: It's full of the emperor's good things. I just have the luck to eat. It's your sister. Why didn't you talk like that for a few days? And why do you play cosepley?

Han An: My sister doesn't know. My sister's voice is ill again these days, and even the emperor hasn't come to see me for several days. I just brought something new to get his attention.

Zhou Zhen: Throat disease? ! Didn't you just do hemorrhoids surgery last month? Why did it recur so soon? Come on, open your mouth and look at your sister ~

(Ann opens her mouth exaggeratedly)

Zhen: (shaking his head and covering his nose with a handkerchief) What a big mouth.

Han An: How dare you compare with my sister's flaming lips? Sister's lips are like those on the new cover, one is the first two. (Compare 1 and 2 with gestures)

Zhou Zhen: My sister is really joking. In my opinion, my sister can use some amoxicillin. Oh, yes (suddenly enlighted), I forgot that my sister's promise is just a promise. I really can't order the imperial doctor to prescribe these western tribute medicines. By the way, (waving to Huan) Huan Bi, just right. You can give my sister the imported disinfectant that the emperor brought me in our palace to disinfect it so as not to get sick and get infected again.

Han An: (delighted) I'm flattered that my sister can treat me like this.

(Huan end fire extinguisher to Ann)

Han An: (waving his hand again and again in horror to indicate an extension) Thank you for your kindness. Sister is really lucky, unlike Ling Rong. She is humble and always looked down upon, but this anti-inflammatory drug is still for her own use.

Zhou Zhen: Well, I can tell my sister that the emperor has recently encountered a lot of troubles in North Korea, which is very headache. Don't bother him with your broken gong voice.

Han An: Oh, thank you for reminding me, but why is the emperor so worried?

Zhou Zhen: That small Japanese country actually said Diaoyu Island was theirs! You said being angry is not irritating!

Han An: In my sister's opinion, wouldn't it be wonderful to send a flag team to level the country?

Zhou Zhen: What else do you know? The emperor has been applying for the Nobel Peace Prize recently. How unworthy it is for such a trifle! Besides singing French and not knowing love, you can also dance Jiangnan style. What else can you order?

Ann looks embarrassed. At the same time, voiceover

Scene 2:

Voice-over: Shen Guiren asked for it! (Shen Meizhuang takes the stage)

Zhou Zhen: Yo! Sister Shen, you came as soon as my front foot came in. Why are you still following me?

Lishen: You still eat melon seeds in broad daylight! I followed Pike all the way!

Han An: This thing! This is mine. Don't! I'm going to quit smoking after I get throat disease! Just eating melon seeds to kill time. Sister, since you installed the attendance machine, I have paid my respects to the Emperor by swiping my card and fingerprinting on time every day, and I have never missed or brushed it on my behalf. Sister, did I behave well?

Li Shen: Your attendance rate is very good, but the health management of this harem has always been my focus, so you have to pay attention to it! I'll examine you if you don't pay attention! This month's monthly salary will be halved!

I know, sister. It happens that the three of us are free now. Why don't we fight the landlord? I brought poker!

Zhou Zhen: How many tricks did An Answer take! Fighting landlords can not only exercise intelligence but also treat scapulohumeral periarthritis. It would be great if we could win more money!

Li Shen: The climate has been wet and cold recently, and I feel uncomfortable in the palace. I must have a cold. If I sit for a long time, I will be infected as a sister!

Han An: Sister, just say you don't want to play!

Shen Meizhuang: I don't want to play!

Zhou Zhen: Sister Shen is ill. Why don't you see Dr. Wen Tai for treatment?

Han An: I heard that Dr. Wen was caught selling fake drugs outside?

Li Shen: That's all gossip! Which celebrity doesn't have an affair? I haven't seen Dr. Wen in recent days!

Voice-over: Dr. Wen asks for it! (Dr. Wen Tai takes the stage)

Dr. Wen: Greetings to the ladies.

Han An: I just mentioned you, and you came! You are faster than Cao Cao!

Dr Wen Tai: I'm worried about Shen Guiren. (Taking a breath) As a master, I still have a list, so I hurried over from the Lion City Pharmacy! I recently developed a new medicine-'Yida' chewing cold medicine! Here you are, your meaning! (To Shen Guiren)

Li Shen: It's your Yida!

Dr. Wen: It's you Yida!

Li Shen: hmm ~ it's you Yida!

Schreiber: Here comes Hua Fei! Here comes the princess! Here we go. To!

Li Shen: Oh! It's my idea! (Hurriedly put away the medicine)

Han An: Sister, look, here comes Hua Fei. I don't usually want to associate with her. Ling Rong excused himself. (Step down)

Li Shen: Sister, I'm going to check the hygiene, too. I have to go first. (Step down)

Looking at Dr. Wen: Why don't you come with me?

Dr. Man: Yes, the Queen. (Step down with Shen Meizhuang)

Scene 3:

(Hua Fei comes out angrily)

(Zhen, Huan knelt down)

Zhen: Greetings to Empress Hua Fei and Empress Wan Fu Jin 'an.

Hua # This article comes from the fat egg sketch end#: (roll your eyes proudly and don't say a word, after a while) You are not allowed to get up until someone applauds you.

(Applause)

Hua: (half sitting) Get up ~

Hua: I haven't seen my sister for a few days, and my sister's skills have improved again. Is this veil embroidered for the emperor?

(kewei served tea in the form of Zhen Zi, who was startled)

Zhen: I can't hide anything from my sister. This handkerchief is for the emperor to show my love for him ~

Hua: (smirking) Love? Does the emperor love you? The emperor loves my palace, but I want to show you what the emperor's love is ~ (turn on the headdress light)

Zhen: Ah, my sister's headdress is really beautiful.

Hua: (speaking contemptuously and slowly) If you like my headdress, I'll take it off for you. Oh, I forgot, my sister is still in the position, so I can only wear Mickey's old model, not our princess's Mickey 20 13 new model ~

Zhen: My sister is joking. How dare my sister compare with her? With her figure, even the emperor has to wear gold-rimmed glasses. Me, the frame is only plastic, and there may be melamine!

Hua: Phnom Penh is not Phnom Penh, and I didn't do it for myself. After all, to assist the sixth house, we all have that style. We can't eat and drink so poorly. Look at you, the shoes are old Beijing cloth shoes (cloth accent), and I am Goldlion's leather shoes (leather accent). Besides clothes, you have 2 feet more cloth than me. What are you better than me? !

(Hua wants to take the teacup, thinks for a while, suddenly turns around and whispers to Song Zhi)

(Zhen quickly changes the teacup)

Zhen: (picks up the tea) Empress is right. Gee ~ what kind of tea is this? Unlike the snow dome that I often drink in my palace.

Flower: Sister, try it and see how it tastes.

Zhen: (vomiting sideways after drinking) Tea is good, but my sister always tastes like chicken shit.

Flowers: I always knew my sister liked flowers. When my sister said this today, it turned out that my sister also likes chicken shit. (Proud, took a sip) This is the Xueding coffee presented by western countries this year, and the emperor only gave it to me. The aroma of this coffee is refreshing. If it is mixed with fresh milk, it will be wonderful.

Zhen: (sorry) Yes, my sister really knows how to live. Hey, it's really hot today ~ (at the same time, first open the skirt, fan the thigh and tilt the left leg, and it says, please look at the right leg. After 2 seconds, put down your left leg and lift your right leg.

Hua: Song Zhi, you go and light the incense in our palace ~

Ode: Yes (Zhen Zi shape, lighting incense, fanning incense for Hua Fei)

Zhen: (covering her nose) Yo, this fragrance of Huan Yi was given to my sister by the emperor. My sister is really blessed.

Hua: Because of this smell, no one in the harem will call me extravagant. It's still my sister's reputation as a thrifty housekeeper, but my sister, not my sister, said you, just scrimp and save, even the maids around you are so energy-saving and emission-reducing. (Huan Bi scoffs)

Zhen: My sister flatter me. Huanbi is my personal dowry, which is of great use. During the day, she is a bodyguard (Huanbi is a bodybuilder and shows off her muscles), and at night, she is a maid-in-waiting (Huanbi is shy). As the saying goes, Huanbi knows martial arts, and no one can stop her. (Huan Bi is shy and covers her face)

(Hua Fei looks at Huanbi contemptuously)

Zhen: Oh, Empress Hua Fei, my sister almost forgot. The emperor turned over my green card tonight. (Get up) Sister needs to go back to the palace to prepare first, and your sister needs to go back to the palace to rest early. Look at your crow's feet. It's all over your ears. Sister excused herself first.

Huanbi helped Zhen Xuan to step down slowly.

Ode: This elegant girl wants to be on an equal footing with the queen because of the emperor's love. It is really ungrateful.

China; What can I do to spoil her? Isn't there a new iphone? He said two words, and the emperor bought him an apple for five generations. I asked the emperor for five generations of apples, and the emperor gave me five generations of apples. Pine branch, go down and get me some ice cubes.

Hua: (sarcastically) Sister, I think you'd better go to see Dr. Wen. I'm afraid my sister can't bathe in kindness tonight.

Zhen: (asked later) Sister, what do you say?

Hua: My sister certainly doesn't know. I take correspondence courses in Beijing University of Chinese Medicine in my spare time. The tea you just drank has been poisoned by 7749 kinds of highly toxic parasites, which are now multiplying rapidly in your heart, liver, spleen, lungs and kidneys. I'm afraid my sister can only see the toilet tonight.

Zhen: (calmly) That sister must not know that her sister graduated from Beijing University of Chinese Medicine, right? I was bored in the boudoir before I entered the palace, and finished my doctoral and postdoctoral studies. (Hua Fei falls off the chair and sits on the ground)

Zhen: (slowly approaching China, speaking slowly) I changed the cup, so the person who will have diarrhea later is my sister!

Hua: (standing up and patting the dust on her body) I knew my sister was cautious, so I put the tea with parasites on my side in advance, and it was you who had diarrhea.

Jane: You have diarrhea!

Hua: You have diarrhea!

Zhen: You have diarrhea, and your whole harem has diarrhea!

Song Zhi: (running to the stage) Goddess, it's no good!

Hua: (impatiently) I was so angry that I lost my identity and said, What's the matter?

Song Zhi: Just now a slave told me that when he put parasites in his tea, his hands shook and two cups of tea became infected with parasites ...

Hua, Zhen: (covering her stomach) What! ! !

Narrator: The emperor is here! Come on! Here we go. To!

Scene 4:

(Zhen knelt down)

Zhen: Your Majesty!

Huang: Hengheng!

Zhen: Your Majesty!

Huang: What's the matter with you? (The Emperor and his wife)

Zhen: Your Majesty! Do you have any toilet paper? The tea of male and female servants was parasitized by Hua Fei. I'm afraid I can't wait on you tonight (stand up and touch the emperor's chest).

Huang: Hua Fei! Kneel down.

Hua: (kneeling) Your Majesty, the male and female servants didn't mean it. Besides, the male and female servants also drank the tea of parasites.

Emperor: Don't think that in previous dynasties, you can do whatever you want with your brother's strength. Can this parasite be put into tea casually? At least put it in bread as a sandwich! Believe it or not, I abolished your throne!

Hua: Your Majesty, I have to give you a dragon seed!

Zhen: With you, don't even think about it. Do you know why the emperor gave Huan Yi Xiang to your mother? You don't usually watch "Yangshengtang" by Beijing Satellite TV, do you? Do you know what's in Huanyi Lane? It's musk! Musk has the functions of miscarriage prevention, abortion and infertility. You are now a saline-alkali land in Bohai Bay. Going to beijing tianlun Infertility Hospital can't be cured! You really wasted the rain and dew of the emperor! (shy)

Hua: (aggrieved) If the emperor won't let me live, he will let me die. Even if I die, I will die beautifully. Get up and shine.

I lit a headdress lamp, drank parasitic tea, killed myself with a knife, and vomited blood (somersault 1 week fell to the ground, with the middle finger pointing to Zhen Xuan).

Zhen: Alas, women are heartless and unstable (stepping on the fingers of Pinghua).

Huang: Hey, hey, I heard that Cangdian is going to hold a wonderful drama party. Come and have a look with me.

Zhen: Your Majesty, I can't take it anymore. I want to go to the toilet. I can't stay with the emperor.

Emperor: Well, forget it then. (Three palaces and six hospitals are still not as good as monogamy, and they are worried to death. )

Then I'll go back to the palace and approve the memorial. (turns away)

Zhen: Your Majesty, don't go, Your Majesty! (clutching his stomach) You haven't lent me toilet paper yet!

Come up and bow down together.

This sketch script was collected online. Please share it with your friends if you like it. At the same time, you are welcome to put forward your valuable opinions and suggestions. Thank you!