As Gorky said, how to educate children has become the most concerned and headache problem for countless parents. Carelessness may affect a child's life. Among countless parents, China's parents dare not say that they are the best educated, but they are undoubtedly the most diligent and attentive.
But the reality is that the more diligent you are, the more reluctant you are to start work, the more you like to reason with your children, and the more thankless you are. The children are not only ungrateful, but even subconsciously avoid their mothers, which makes them very sad. On the other hand, those "lazy mothers" always bring up excellent children.
Sister Zhang, a neighbor, is notoriously diligent in the community. Not only do you keep your home in order, but everyone in your family has a clear schedule of work, study and life. The study time planned by Jason for his son is minute-by-minute.
In Jason's words, only by grasping all aspects of children can we grasp the growth and discovery of children and raise excellent children. It seems reasonable, but as her son grows up, Zhang Jie slowly discovers the problem, and the child's resistance to herself is growing.
In order to make children "obedient", Jason spent a lot of time on reasoning. Through the door, she could hear Jason twittering with the children, saying that all this was for the good of the children.
But the final effect is not obvious. Children first expressed their "protest" by not eating, and then clamored to give up school, and the number of conflicts with Jason became more and more. Seeing that reasoning didn't work, Zhang Jie couldn't help hitting the child twice. But there was something wrong with this fight, and the stubborn child played "running away from home".
Fortunately, I didn't bring any money with me, but I didn't go far. But this incident frightened Jason. Watching the child change from a good baby to a "little hedgehog", Sister Zhang really doesn't know what to do.
1) repeatedly stressed
There is nothing wrong with parents reasoning with their children, but parents ignore the most important point, which is the child's ability to accept. For children who have not experienced it personally, the truth spoken by parents is somewhat "unrealistic". Unrealistic truth, they naturally don't want to hear it.
Coupled with repeated emphasis and verbosity, not only can children not realize their mistakes, but they will become the shackles of children and make them more and more resistant.
2) reprimand and abuse
What would Ma Bao do if she was stopped by a child just when she told half the truth? Those parents who feel irritated and grumpy must be reckless and drag them over to fight first. Although there are few cases of beating children now, not many parents can hold their breath.
The abuse and reprimand of parents will make unconvinced children think that they are right, and the distance from their parents will naturally become farther and farther.
Princess mama
Typical representative: Huo Siyan
Princess mothers often show their "weakness" in front of their children, and stimulate their desire for protection and sense of responsibility by showing weakness to their children. In the long-term education, children's various abilities will be exercised and they will naturally become excellent children.
A strong female mother
Typical representative: Dong Mingzhu
Dong Mingzhu, the boss of Gree, once shared his parenting experience like this. She said that the mode of getting along with her son is more like a very rational "cooperative relationship."
Under normal circumstances, Dong Mingzhu would never take the initiative to participate in children's lives. When a child "asks for help" from himself, Dong Mingzhu will simply point out the interests of the child directly, and the final decision is in the child's hands.
"friend" mother
Typical representative: Sun Li
When it comes to raising a baby, Sun Li said this: "In fact, many things don't need to be told to children over and over again, but should be properly guided. When the child reaches that stage, he will naturally understand. "
Sun Li never gets too involved in children's lives. Children like to travel, so she and Deng Chao take them out to play. Children like to make faces. Sun Li and his wife play with their children like friends. Not participating in children's lives is also a kind of parenting wisdom.
Looking at these "lazy mothers", we will find one thing in common, that is, don't over-manipulate children's lives and respect their own choices. This seems to give some advice to other precious mothers. Instead of planning children's lives to every minute, why not leave them some space?
Mother's less intervention can not only reduce her own hard work, but also make her children grow better. Why not?