The success or failure of education has complicated factors, such as children's personality, family background and social environment. These are all important factors that determine success or failure. Blind use of sticks is definitely not acceptable; It is not the way to pamper and pamper in every way. There was a mother in the Tang Dynasty, which provided us with a reference.
The mother doesn't have a name, so she knows that her surname is Wei, which is the original match. She has been a crown princess for many years, which is called in history books to distinguish her from others. She has a son and two daughters, and an adopted daughter. Because of the power struggle, she divorced her husband halfway and became a monk. She was also captured in the Anshi Rebellion, but this did not affect her success in children's education. Historical records lack details. We can only analyze how Wei Fei avoided the educational tragedy from the growth path and behavior of her children (including adopted daughters).
Second: It is an indisputable fact that parents' words and deeds have an influence on their children's growth. At this point, Wei Fei obtained samadhi.
And princess Zheng are the same mother. Her mother, Wu, died three years later. Before her death, she did not entrust her daughter to another famous woman, Zhang Liangdi, but to Wei Fei. Now, this, oh, is really angry! Did not live up to Wu's entrustment, and raised Princess Zheng as her own daughter, even better than the other three children, which can be described as a promise. Historically, Princess Zheng was very filial to her adoptive mother when she was young, and she was the closest to Princess Yonghe, and she was also very harmonious with the other two brothers and sisters.
On the other hand, if the foster mother treats her badly and other siblings are arrogant according to relatives, can young politicians be that good? Obviously not. It's called gold at home and fame outside.
At that time, Liu in Hedong was a well-known family, and Mrs. Qin was the eighth sister of a generation of red ladies and the wife of Liu Cheng, the son of Liu. A few years before Wei Fei became a monk, Princess Zheng and Princess Yonghe both faced the problem of getting married. Su Zong means that Princess Hezheng will marry someone else's family, and Princess Yonghe will marry Liu's family. Wei Fei disagreed and persuaded Su Zong not to forget Wu's kindness. In this way, Princess Zheng chose a good son-in-law, that is, Liu Cheng's younger brother Liu Tan, and performed a story of a model couple.
Wei Fei's brother is Wei Jian, the minister of punishments. He had a good personal relationship with Su Zong when he was a prince. Li, the prime minister, was afraid that Su Zong would settle accounts with himself after he succeeded to the throne, so he instructed Liu Ji to falsely accuse him and take the opportunity to attack Su Zong's cronies, hoping that Xuanzong would abolish Su Zong's status as a prince. At that time, it was the crown princess, the future queen candidate, and the target of Li's deliberate attack. Seeing a catastrophe, Su Zong's family was in a panic, but they were calm. They came up with a plan to give up their personal lives, save the whole family, and let Su Zong bid farewell to the bride, that is, draw a clear line with the Wei family. She had her hair cut and lived in a Buddhist temple in the Forbidden City.
This method of mother has had a great influence on several children. Later, when Li and others participated in state affairs, they all showed the characteristics of calmness and understanding of the times.
Third, many education experts have said that it is a natural way of education, that is, according to each child's different personality characteristics in the process of growing up, it is a natural way of education to teach students in accordance with their aptitude, rather than increasing the pressure with a stick that goes against the natural nature. The so-called Longsheng nine grades, each grade is different. Ten fingers are still different in length, not to mention the child's personality preferences.
For example, some children are introverted and like philosophical speculation, while others are active and like literature and art, etc. Smart parents will make education plans according to their children's personality preferences. We can't find any specific records of Wei Fei's education of children. We can only infer the general situation of a child's educational methods from her grades, and it is estimated that we can't jump out of this range.
According to the analysis of historical records, Wei Fei and Tang Suzong became monks after their divorce, which should have happened at the end of the fifth year of Tianbao in Xuanzong of Tang Dynasty. This year, the youngest Princess Yongmu was seventeen years old. That is to say, Wei Fei's three children and an adopted daughter (Wang Jiang Li Shu may have been wrongly recorded by historians) all grew up at that time, and she was rigid and knowledgeable. She left with the success of her parenting plan. Her children basically believe in Buddhism and Taoism, especially Princess Hezheng, Princess Li N and Princess Yonghe, which is inseparable from the education and influence of their mothers.
Rebecca Li Ning is shy and introverted. Under the education of his mother, he developed the nature of forgiving others and not arguing with others. He got along well with several half-brothers, and was deeply loved by his grandfather Xuanzong. Until the period of Dezong and Daizong, Li was still highly valued and often went to the northern frontier to lead troops to fight.
Princess Yonghe is good at Taoism and has been able to meditate since childhood. Her mother taught her to learn Taoism, believed in the art of natural beauty, and cultivated Chinese herbal medicines herself. Princess Yongmu was weak when she was a child, and such a child was easily bullied, so her mother taught her to be strong, learn to submit to humiliation and not to make trouble. Princess Yongmu did the same thing later to save her life. Princess Hezheng is one of the most successful parenting achievements in Wei Fei. Sue always praises her for her maternal demeanor. Obviously, the mother here is not Wu, but.
The court struggle in the Tang Dynasty was extremely fierce. Once the royal descendants were born, they entered the political whirlpool. If they are not careful, they may lose their lives. Especially in the late Xuanzong period, Li and Yang were in power, while Su Zongshi was in power. Princes and grandchildren are often involved in political turmoil, and there are not a few people who are often under house arrest, ousted and beheaded. Only the children raised by Wei Fei have not been persecuted politically, and none of them have become victims of power struggle, which is extremely dazzling. Even when my uncle was framed by Li and my father Su Zong (then the prince) was forced to divorce his mother, these children were still sheltered by Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty-that year, Li was awarded the title of Prince of Yan.
It is conceivable that Wei Fei's way of making education not tragic is so successful!
The way of nature is to fight and not fight, and to govern by doing nothing. Be kind to others, and people will be kind to others. Everything is modest and people are harmonious!
Fourth: Loyalty, filial piety, benevolence and righteousness are king. Mencius said: there is no regret in keeping healthy, and kingly way begins.
Its core still refers to a word benevolence. Wei Fei educated several children and adhered to the king's logic. Taking loyalty, filial piety, benevolence, modesty and friendship as the key link, taking impartiality and magnanimity as the goal, outlining will eventually settle on how to be a man.
All her children have done so. For example, Li N, the prince of Yan, has been deliberately away from the infighting in the imperial court, and can care for his brothers and defend the country. Princess Yonghe is obsessed with the study of beauty and skin care; Princess Yongmu is honest and filial when she comes home. When Xu was killed, she could still hold back. Princess Hezheng has been honored as a national treasure in past dynasties, and even Yan Zhenqing, who is straightforward, has given the greatest praise.
It is often said that children are a mirror of their parents. From these children, we can't see the shadow of Tang Suzong, but more is the shadow of Wei Fei. Yan Zhenqing has been a correctional officer all his life, and he is a very picky person. He has never seen anyone praise him, but he is full of praise for Princess Zheng. Besides the assignment, the spirit of kingliness revealed by Princess Zheng is probably the main reason that impressed Yan Zhenqing. He praised Wei Fei, not politics. You know, the famous Family Instructions of Yan Family was handed down by Yan Zhenqing's ancestors, and Yan family paid special attention to how to educate children. Yan Zhenqing grew up in such a family environment, how could he not be influenced by family style? From this analysis, it is not difficult to understand why the tombstone of the political princess seems to be out of tune with Yan Zhenqing's character: Wei Fei experienced divorce, becoming a monk and being captured. This is not recognized by the feudal royal family and should not be publicized more. Therefore, Yan Zhenqing adopted the method of curve propaganda, which not only did something for the emperor, but also praised politics, and achieved the goal of affirming the success of education in Wei Fei.
Wei Fei didn't end well, but Sue and her children can't be blamed. Because of the Anshi Rebellion, Chang 'an soon fell. When Xuanzong and Su Zong fled, it was too late to evacuate all their relatives. In addition, the Buddhist temple where Wei Fei practiced was in the suburbs, so it fell into the hands of the rebels.
Su Zong is the Emperor Lingwu. In the second year of Zhide (AD 757), he led the army to recover Chang 'an and Luoyang. Li n found his mother in the disorderly army, but died of serious illness that year. At this time, Zheng and his wife were still in Sichuan, helping Xuanzong put down the rebellion.