In fact, you don't have to think about anything, just sleep, eat and play with your children, and you will be free after three years.
But during full-time baby-rearing, you must remember to read more books, read more books and read more books. After the children go to kindergarten, they will use it.
And reading more books can also play a regulatory role, so try it.
The hardest thing in the world is to take care of children!
The happiest thing in the world is to take care of children!
Stay-at-home mothers' emotions are greatly influenced by their children, and they spend every day in busyness and emptiness. Many times I want to do my own thing, but I can't let go at all. I always want to stop and have a rest and give my child to someone else. ...
I believe that most treasure mothers have this kind of experience, so do I. Let me share how I made it.
No matter in urban or rural areas, there are always many stay-at-home mothers who take their babies out to make friends. They think time passes quickly. For children, they also found more playmates for them.
Ma Bao has little time for exercise, so going out with children is the best exercise. Regular exercise not only helps her health, but also relieves her mood.
If you have leisure time, you can learn yoga, which is a good way to relieve stress.
Ma Bao should set an example, take care of her children, and form good habits of work and rest. Get up, eat, take a lunch break and go out to play every day. Reasonable arrangement of time, the daily pace of life will not be disrupted at will.
Emotions need to be released. If it accumulates for a long time, it is easy to go wrong. More communication with her husband can not only let children see the harmony of their parents, but also get encouragement and comfort from their relatives, which is of great benefit to relaxing.
Full-time mothers should not only feed and warm their children, but also let them grow up healthily and happily. For example, today, I went out to comb my daughter's beautiful hair, wear a beautiful skirt and walk in the street. Passers-by looked at her twice and even praised her children. Is Ma Bao particularly proud?
Through scientific parenting, children can be fully developed in language, intelligence, body and emotion. Compared with children of the same age, he has many bright spots, which is undoubtedly the greatest recognition of Ma Bao's value.
If conditions permit, take the children out for a walk. Traveling is a good choice. It can not only broaden children's horizons, but also fully relax their tense nerves.
These are some methods I often use to relieve stress. I hope I can help you. Take your children out to play, make more friends and communicate with your family.
Generally speaking, we should try to reduce the time alone with our children.
People are gregarious animals, so they won't be lonely with friends and relatives.
Hello, I'm Zheng Runzhi, a psychological counselor, and I'm glad to answer this question.
Before answering questions, I want to talk about what it's like to have a baby full-time.
There is a mother who has been a mother for five years. She once said: "I feel a lot of pressure. On the one hand, I want to take care of my children. On the other hand, I am unwilling. I can do nothing at home except take care of my children. "
"And very sensitive to her husband's attitude. Perhaps subconsciously, I always hope that my husband will come home from work early and then spend time with me and my children. But the fact is that few people get home before nine o'clock. Although he admits that he is not doing well, Ge You will lie down and watch TV when he is free at home, and go straight to sleep when he is sleepy. He has slept alone in his room. ''
"Life is trivial, my heart is empty, I feel inferior, I have great pressure, I have no sense of accomplishment, and my husband is indifferent."
If you are a full-time mother, many mothers must have experienced the above-mentioned economic pressure, so this sense of powerlessness is often a sense of powerlessness within ourselves. How can I make my heart full of strength and eliminate this sense of powerlessness?
First of all, we should accept it naturally, don't think too much, and learn to enjoy this time with our children. We are always worried that society is progressing and we are afraid that we will be left behind by society, but we never thought that, in a sense, raising children is also a kind of progress, at least in parenting.
Secondly, in fact, many times anxiety is nothing to do, just find something to do for yourself, but if this kind of thing calms you down, such as reading, reading can really make people calm.
Finally, we can often take our children out to do some outdoor activities, communicate with other mothers and talk about each other's experiences of taking care of their children. It is also very happy.
Hello! I'm Hehema, and I'm glad to answer your question.
As a full-time nanny, it is very common and normal to feel anxious.
So how can we alleviate this anxiety? As a full-time nanny, I give you the following three suggestions:
As mothers, we all know that the most important thing for children's growth is companionship. When children are young, they need their mothers' spiritual companionship more than material companionship. After weighing the pros and cons, since I chose to give up my job, I should spend more time with my children and care more about them. There are many parents who can give their lives for their children, but they can't give their time and thoughts for them. However, as full-time nannies, we have more conditions to spend time, and we have more time to spend with our children. Why not? We can:
After giving birth, we returned to our family and lost our jobs, but we couldn't stop studying. For the sake of children, we will focus on children for the time being, but we must not forget to save our strength, learn to improve ourselves and make the best preparations for returning to the workplace at that time. Studying while taking care of the baby, busy and full days will make us forget our anxiety, and days with love and dreams will make us full of struggle motivation. Children are growing, and we are settling. When he can go to kindergarten, it is the moment when our precious mother adds value. To this end, we can:
Postpartum is a special stage that affects the relationship between husband and wife. Due to hormonal changes, distorted figure and lack of sleep, Ma Bao is generally in a bad mood. Coupled with the hard work of taking care of children, it is bound to make the relationship between husband and wife experience wave after wave of tests. In the face of contradictions and conflicts, we must learn to communicate; Facing the real noise and the cold war, we should understand each other. To this end, we can do:
We don't have to worry because we are doing a great thing. Educating children well is our lifelong pursuit.
In order to let the child have a wonderful childhood, we should stay at home with her and spend our hearts with him. There is no need to be anxious, let alone depressed, and we will never regret it.
I hope my answer is helpful to you.
Hello, I'm "Walking slowly with snails". I like to express my educational views in plain language. I'm happy to answer your question.
Taking care of the baby full-time is always anxious. Calm down, look at yourself and think about where this anxiety comes from.
Why is there such anxiety? Is it from a child? Is it from your husband? Is it from your in-laws? Or do you come from yourself?
When you calm down, I believe you will see yourself. All anxiety comes from yourself in the final analysis, and your anxiety comes from the dialogue between yourself and your heart.
What are you nervous about? Hanging around the children all day, losing yourself, being out of touch with the outside world, very nervous? Mr. Nervous is away every day, you are at home every day, and you gradually alienate him? Are nervous children fat, thin and not outgoing enough?
The fact that you have to stay at home with the baby all day cannot be changed. So what can you change?
Enrich yourself and your soul. You can take good care of your children and do things to improve yourself.
For example, when you are with your child, read a story to your child. How to find a child's favorite story? How can I tell this story better? When telling this story, what kind of knowledge preparation should be done in the early stage? If you tell a story with such questions, after a period of time, the quality of your story will be greatly improved, which is good for yourself and your children. Why not?
For example, when cooking for children, you can do some homework in advance, such as how old the children are, and what should children pay attention to in their diet this month? Which foods are used more for his growth? Slowly, you will have more and more ideas about diet.
For example, in your spare time, you can do something you like or read a book. Sit quietly for a while, play an elaborate piece of music and do a meditation; You can even record your child's daily intentions, which will be a precious gift for your child in the future. ...
In the process of taking full-time care of the baby, the child grows up day by day, and you and the child grow up together. How meaningful.
Enrich yourself, care for yourself, improve yourself and don't expect others. Be yourself, and the world in your eyes will be better.
At this time, the anxiety will slowly leave.
Dear sister, you try. Are you still anxious about raising children like this?
Full-time nannies have emotional anxiety, and so did I when I just resigned. Let me share some experiences with you.
Full-time nannies are always anxious. I think there are several reasons:
The discomfort of returning home from a familiar workplace; Fear of losing independent financial resources; Worried about child care accidents; Worried that they can't take care of their children; I'm afraid that taking care of the baby full-time will affect my future life/career planning.
Of course, according to everyone's situation, the causes of anxiety are different. For example, the elderly also help with children, there may be contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and husband and wife have different parenting concepts.
Most of these anxieties come from insecurity, that is, uncontrollable control over a brand-new and unknown identity/field, which leads to various negative emotions.
After the end of the month, I resigned to take care of the baby and went to work for another month. One or two months before the baby was born, I didn't even dare to hold the baby, because the baby's body was so small and soft, and I was afraid that my clumsiness would hurt the child.
Including bathing the children and changing clothes every day, I asked my mother-in-law to help me with it. The helplessness of being a mother for the first time is really unspeakable.
But when I took care of the baby full-time, my mother-in-law went back to her hometown, and I really had to do everything alone. A person dare not bathe his child? A person is afraid to take care of children? That's because you haven't tried.
Everyone has the inertia of dependence. If you have someone you can rely on around you, you will hesitate to do anything, or just be a shopkeeper of cutting. Because you know someone will help you share it, you won't panic.
But when you know that no one can help you but yourself, this "have to" will naturally summon up courage.
So from five or six months to almost three years old now, the child is tied to me 24 hours a day. Besides taking care of her diet, entertainment and play, I have to do all the housework at home.
Besides, I have to work part-time to make money.
I think many of us are anxious because we think too much and do too little. A lot of troubles and worries. In paranoia, negative emotions are infinitely magnified, and the conclusion is that I can't do anything.
But when you pay the deposit, you will find that things are far from as bad as you think.
Anxiety education is bad for children? Then learn how to be a mother, read parenting books, ask others about their experiences and so on. Learning and growing together with children will also give you a sense of accomplishment.
Anxiety about your future career planning or anxiety about not having an independent source of income? Then try various part-time jobs.
On the premise of not affecting children, take time to take some professional qualification certificates. As long as you have the heart and action, you will get started slowly.
From my personal experience, I must not let negative emotions bother me for too long, nor let myself do nothing.
When you have plans and goals every day, you will quickly get out of negative emotions, because you can forget these things when you are busy.
Many people think that full-time nannies are idle, which is wrong. Raising children is more difficult than most jobs.
Have fun when playing with children, give serious guidance when studying with children ... and try to find out the joy and sense of accomplishment in taking care of your baby. This parenting experience will be the most important memory in your life.
Of course, no one is perfect, and what he does cannot be perfect. When bad things happen, negative emotions will lead things to a worse side, while positive emotions will help to solve them in a better way.
So when you are influenced by something again, I suggest you don't think about anything, just take positive action.
After having children, every family is facing structural changes, and every mother is facing identity changes. All this is sudden, and it is impossible to predict it completely by psychological preparation in advance. "Anxiety" is an inevitable emotion for everyone who becomes a mother, not only ordinary people without names, but also red people with auras. For example, papi sauce, which became a new mother not long ago, also sent a message on Mother's Day to express the feeling that "mom is the hardest job", and the haggard look is true at first glance.
Therefore, it is inevitable to find ways to adjust, but before that, we need to face up to our emotions. I believe that it is not because we are "stupid", nor because we are "cowardly", nor because we are "narrow-minded".
The child is five years old this year, and I have been taking care of the child full-time. At different stages of her growth, I experienced several anxieties. I am happy to share my self-improvement experience, hoping to help all mothers.
My first anxiety came from the second month, when the emotional source was the lack of milk. Unlike many mothers, I am a serious person, so no matter what the facts are, I insist on lactation through various methods. However, after taking Chinese medicine and doing massage, the milk did not increase significantly. When children cry and scream every time they eat milk, they feel depressed and disheartened. I began to question myself constantly. I studied for so many years just to be a cow? Why do you deserve to be a mother when you can't feed your children?
During that time, I was numb when I heard that my baby was hungry. I got angry when my mother-in-law said that my baby didn't have enough to eat. Even if someone suggested adding milk powder to her baby, I would be secretly angry.
This emotion stayed with me until I finished reading the second month. It was not until I walked out of the room to breathe fresh air that I suddenly found the feeling of being alive again. I began to have a life other than breastfeeding. Even though I am tired with my children, I am not so obsessed with other things. Slowly, I understood a truth: I still have a long time to spend with my children. Breastfeeding is just a trivial job for me. Even if I can't do this, I can be an excellent mother in other ways. After understanding this, I began to take the initiative to accept the mixed feeding of children. Because children won't be hungry, they will have food and won't cry as before. In this way, I relieved my first anxiety.
I belong to a relatively independent woman, and I have been working to earn pocket money since my junior year in college. After graduation, the work is also very smooth, and working for 2 to 3 days a week can reach 200,000. I didn't plan to be a full-time mother until the last month of pregnancy, because my job is very easy. My mother-in-law came to live in my house. She is very diligent, so we don't have to reach out to her for all housework. I am grateful that she can take care of me, but I also see my husband's laziness since she came. It turns out that all the housework is shared by the two of us, but since my mother-in-law came, she pushed a bowl to see her mobile phone after dinner. From then on, I decided not to live with old people, no matter how difficult it was. I want to take care of the children myself, otherwise not only my husband is getting lazy, but even the children are not diligent.
Later, I became a full-time mother, and there was no special psychological fluctuation for half a year, because even people who have jobs will have maternity leave for about half a year. But after half a year, watching some of my classmates and friends return to work, every day they deal with economic events, and all they think and do for 24 hours are trivial things related to shit, so there is a gap in their hearts. Who doesn't want to be a beautiful workplace person? Have time and discretionary money! Who wants to be a nanny at home all the time?
However, with the experience of self-persuasion for the first time, I didn't feel anxious for a long time this time. I thanked my husband for taking on the family's economy independently and didn't deduct my pocket money. We didn't turn red in the face of money. I began to learn to discover the beauty in life. I told myself that even if I can't go out to earn money for the time being, I should make my full-time life worthwhile.
I bought an electric car and took my children out to see flowers and plants every day; Every year, I take my children out for a period of time and experience a different life; I take my child to do different jobs according to her age; Even if the child is sick and needs to stay up for a few days, I still bite my teeth. In order to let my husband have time to rest and energy to work ... After doing all kinds of things, I found that I didn't get worse because of my full-time life. On the contrary, in order to set an example for my children, I became more self-disciplined. I began to thank my life in recent years for making me more mature.
Many mothers worry that it will be difficult to bring their babies back to the workplace full-time, but just last year I got an internship certificate from a law firm and am about to start a new job. I found that getting along with children made me have stronger communication skills; The complicated housework gives me a more comprehensive time management ability; My children can easily become the best students without spending a penny on early education ... Full-time life makes me more loyal to my heart, which is a rare ability. In recent years, I have not fallen. On the contrary, I have made myself mentally and physically healthier. With such drive, I believe my work can be smooth sailing.
Child 10 months ago, I also complained that my husband could not take the baby to work like other people's fathers and felt that he had married the wrong person.
But once I calculated an account, adding up the monthly consumption of my children and me, as well as household expenses such as house loan, water, electricity and gas. I was shocked to find that my husband actually took on quite a lot silently, so I instantly balanced!
I always listen to some mothers complaining that it is too hard to take care of the baby, and my husband doesn't help. I don't think this kind of thing needs comparison. As long as both sides devote themselves wholeheartedly to the family, there is really no need to care too much about who pays more and who pays less. Some feelings will fade in this dispute, some wrinkles will grow slowly in this chatter, and some self-confidence will gradually lose in this comparison. These are more terrible than losing a helper!
Since becoming a mother, all kinds of anxiety have been with us. Maybe I will be anxious about her study when the child is older. Maybe when she grows up, I will be anxious about her job and marriage. As long as we keep a positive attitude towards life, believe in our personal value and believe that any anxiety can be resolved.
The anxiety caused by full-time nannies is often caused by lack of security and sense of value, partly due to cognitive reasons, such as
1. I don't make money, I live on my husband's money. Many women feel that their hands are short. They always feel that they are the ones who reach for it. Although they are also very hard, they have also paid a lot for their families. However, this kind of cognition will make them feel uncomfortable and anxiety will follow.
2. When a woman is insecure, she will have more worries, such as worrying about her husband, her future career and her future life and work. It is difficult to devote yourself wholeheartedly to children, and naturally you will be anxious.
3. I can't see my own value or think that I am worthless. After all, it is every woman's nature to have children. Many stay-at-home mothers think that others can do it, but in fact, raising children and raising children well are completely different, and I don't know much about parenting and children's development. I feel that my productivity is not high, or I want to work but the conditions are not allowed, so I can only take care of my baby full-time. However, with the low sense of value, it will naturally bring a lot of anxiety.
As for how to adjust, there are actually many things that can be done.
1. Learning and self-growth are the foundation. No matter what stage a woman is in, when we know the development of children and how important the role of mothers is, we can do so many things to help children grow up better, and our sense of value will naturally improve. And this kind of work can only be done by mothers, and it will be more valuable if others can't replace it.
2. Communicate with your husband more, such as your child's daily growth and your own feelings, and give more care to others. A good family atmosphere and a good relationship between husband and wife will bring great nourishment to a person's mind.
3. Do something you can, not necessarily to earn money and work, chat with your best friend, buy a bunch of flowers, decorate a warm home and other things that can improve your energy and keep a good mood.
All of the above can relieve our anxiety and improve our happiness. As long as you want to be happy and happy, you will keep looking for it, and there will always be suitable opportunities and things to make yourself better and better. Come on, ladies!
To tell the truth, I really admire the treasure mother who can take care of the baby full time!
I am not a full-time mother, but I have full-time nanny experience. I was often anxious at that time. I don't know if it is postpartum depression. Fortunately, I got rid of my anxiety and didn't start working when I got rid of it.
Next, I will talk about my ways to get rid of anxiety, hoping to help you.
First of all, we should have a correct understanding of our mentality. Sometimes we often fall into anxiety when we have no baby, but at that time we are often attracted to other things, so it passes quickly. Now if we take care of the baby full-time, we will put more energy into the baby, but we want to do something of our own, but we can't get away. If we want to do something, we will fall into anxiety.
People who may not know will say that it would be better to take some time to freshen up. I want to say these words, if the baby has not grown up or given birth to a baby. Sometimes for several days in a row, treasure moms really don't even have time to clean up themselves.
So, what should I do if I have anxiety at this time? Then allow yourself to have a hard time, even when we are with the baby, we can be sad and don't have to laugh too much. But this situation must not last long, otherwise you may fall into self-pity. You must remember that as a treasure mother, you are not the only one who has this situation, but many people do, just like me who is answering your question.
When I take care of the baby alone, I am very worried about how to take care of the baby. I thought of music. Music can not only cultivate children's musical literacy, but also ease children's emotions. We must choose some positive songs. Choose some children's songs from time to time if you like. When we relax ourselves, the baby likes to listen to them.
I often listen to children's songs for my baby, such as catching loach, snail oriole, Smurfs, and playing drums happily ... These children's songs have a cheerful rhythm and my baby will twist with the music. When I saw the baby lively and lovely in front of me, I felt that life was full of hope.
If you are really anxious and uncomfortable, then put down all the housework such as washing dishes, washing clothes and mopping the floor. Pick up a book while the baby is sleeping and read a few pages quietly. If you are confused and can't read any more, just read aloud. Don't understand the meaning of the article, don't think about what you want, read for ten minutes to see the baby, and then read for another ten minutes if the baby doesn't wake up.
That's how I got here. Sometimes people around us don't understand, so let's not force him to understand. Adjust yourself first, and everything may get better.
I believe you must have made a great determination to take care of the baby full-time. Taking care of the baby full-time is also for the baby's better growth. But if you can't handle anxiety well, it will affect you and your baby.
Dear, I believe that the hard days will pass and everything will be fine. Me, too, Bao Ma. You are not alone in raising children. Let's work together.
Hello, I'm @ Jingjing Jingjing, and I used to be a stay-at-home mom. I really understand how you feel.
Especially when the economy is not so rich, when you want money, when you want to do something, but when your children can't do it, your anxiety will increase.
I really understand, so how should I adjust it?
After all, as full-time mothers, we have to accompany our children all day. If we are anxious, then our children will be anxious, and such companionship is not good for children.
If you have the conditions and your grandparents can help you, ask them for help and let them share some for you. You can find some part-time jobs and do some sideline work.
I invited my grandparents to take care of the children, and they were very happy, so I could take time out to read, write and study.
Earn some extra money by writing, plus my own study, I am also slowly growing and changing. I am more patient when I am with my children. I have a part-time job and a sideline, and I still spend most of my time with my children.
You won't be so anxious when you are busy.
In addition, the sideline is not only writing, but also other things, such as being a group owner, distributing and promoting some products and courses, which can also resolve anxiety.
So from this perspective, if conditions permit, let the elderly help and find something to do by themselves.
What can I say? You can do things related to children without the help of the elderly.
For example, some people make family picture books, and some people read picture books to their children, so they record their daily reading of picture books, and gradually become very professional, with many parents consulting.
In this case, you can make the picture book very professional, which can not only accompany the children, but also have something to earn money and reduce anxiety.
For example, if a mother and her children shoot videos together and play together, they can record good memories, edit short videos and suck powder, and then they can make a career slowly.
According to the situation of yourself and your children, choose what you like. OK.
When you are in a hurry to accompany your child, you can ask your husband for help, let him listen to you and accompany you.
Sometimes when we have children, we pay more attention to them and ignore our husbands.
In fact, when the husband and wife have a good relationship and communicate every day, your husband can recognize and respect your efforts, and your anxiety will be reduced.
So I have an idea to let your husband know how you really feel, but I don't blame him, I tell you how you feel.
What children need is an emotionally stable mother and a role model. If you are anxious, children will be more anxious. For the sake of children, we should also adjust our emotions.
Good wishes. Being a stay-at-home mom is really great, and I understand it.