Kai-fu Lee thinks he is healthy and devoted himself to his career. He works fifteen or sixteen hours a day and almost forgets his family.
However, in a general physical examination in 20 13, 52-year-old Kai-fu Lee was told by doctors that he had stage IV lymphoma and more than 20 abdominal tumors.
The sudden visit of "Death" made Kai-fu Lee stop in a hurry. After experiencing the pain and confusion at the beginning of his illness, Kai-fu Lee began to reflect on his life.
He put down his pride, learned to be grateful, repaired his relationship with his family and became his true self. Kai-fu Lee said that he chose to enjoy this "holiday beyond his life plan".
Because of the change of mentality, Kai-fu Lee's riddled body was slowly repaired. In the end, Kai-fu Lee overcame cancer and welcomed a beautiful "new life" with a brand-new attitude.
After recovering from his illness, Kai-fu Lee said with emotion: "I didn't expect my mind to be miraculously nourished except that my body needs to be repaired."
Wang Yangming, a famous thinker and strategist in Ming Dynasty, once said, "The heart is the master of the body." It means: a person's mentality determines his health.
As the saying goes, the best health care is to nourish the heart. When one's mind is healed, one's body is naturally repaired.
In the book Medicine Tree written by the famous psychologist Zhu Jianjun, Zhu Jianjun described for us how Chen Shu, a dying cancer patient like Kai-fu Lee, reached a settlement with "death" by changing his mind with the help of psychologist Hai Yin.
As the Buddha said, "everything changes with the heart, and the environment is created by the heart." When a person's mentality changes, everything will be different from before.
One: please yourself and live for yourself.
Before getting sick, Kai-fu Lee kept preaching: "Let the world be different because of you". He thinks he is working selflessly to change the world.
However, after getting sick, Kai-fu Lee went to consult Master Xing Yun. Master Xing Yun asked Kai-fu Lee, "Do you do everything to make the world a better place or to make yourself more famous?"
A simple question made Kai-fu Lee suddenly realize that he had been using a beautiful "package" to satisfy his vanity and "for himself" in the name of "for the world".
From that moment on, Li Kaifu suddenly let go.
I didn't do anything unnatural, even for myself. Why not?
In fact, many times, just like Kai-fu Lee, between "pleasing others" and "fulfilling ourselves", we will choose "pleasing others" first. We dare not tell our true feelings, for fear that once we say it, we will lose the respect of the world and ruin the perfect personal image in the eyes of the world.
Psychologists say: In fact, each of us has this "please-type personality" to some extent. Although this "please-type personality" will make people feel very painful, over time, "please others" has become the habit of some people.
Chen Shu, the hero of Medicine Tree, is such a woman who "pleases others".
The beginning of Yaoshu is a special wedding-a "perfect wedding" towards "death".
As a bride, Chen Shu is dying. Although she can't even get out of bed, she is going to hold a wedding with her boyfriend Xia Jingzhi who has been in love for many years.
After the wedding, Chen Shu can leave with "death" without any regrets in people's envy and blessings.
However, is there really no regret?
"Just like a movie, the ending of a romantic story has been written." The death of the heroine is a romantic and touching love story.
But Chen Shu doesn't want to. She doesn't want to die yet. Like many children, Chen Shu was taught to be obedient, clever and sensible from an early age, and all his performances should be praised and expected by others. Once he can't meet the requirements of others, it seems to be his own fault.
So, although Chen Shu subconsciously doesn't want to hold a wedding and die in people's expectation, she doesn't know how to choose.
Fortunately, Chen Shu is lucky.
With the help of psychologist Hai Yin, Chen Shu's self-awareness gradually awakened, and finally she bravely chose to "save herself".
What others want to see is a wedding in Where Are You Going, a touching and beautiful love. Only in this way can people's fantasy be satisfied, but Chen Shu has no obligation to realize this "fantasy", and Chen Shu finally canceled the wedding.
Instead of living in the expectation of others, it is better to firmly control your own destiny in your own hands.
Although "death" is always with you, as long as you don't give up, "death" can only stand by and watch.
Under the guidance of Hai Yin, Chen Shu began to face "death" bravely, and faced her true heart, and her life recovered little by little.
When Chen Shu's heart knot is opened a little bit, mother's prejudice, childhood trauma, estrangement between brothers and sisters, love crisis ... The cause of Shusheng Chen's disease is uncovered layer by layer, the dead branches of life are pulled out bit by bit, the blocked emotions are dredged, our lives are like dead branches pulling out new buds, and cancer cells are controlled bit by bit. ...
The so-called "illness comes from the heart" is not unreasonable. In fact, many times, like Chen Shu and Kai-Fu Lee, we suppress our true feelings and live the life expected by others, which has become the root of many diseases.
I like the famous physicist richard feynman's words: "I have no obligation to realize the expectations of others."
Life is your own, why live for the expectations of others? Born in the world, just a few decades, pleasing yourself is far more important than pleasing others.
Although it takes a lot of courage to live for yourself, it's all worthwhile for a new life!
Two: learn to understand and learn to let go.
Adler, a famous Austrian psychologist, famously said, "Happy people use their childhood to cure their whole lives, while unfortunate people use their whole lives to cure their childhood".
Childhood experience has a profound impact on a person's life, and family background plays a decisive role in a person's childhood happiness.
If we are unfortunate enough to grow up in an imperfect family, how can we save ourselves?
Chen Shu's mother prefers boys to girls. In order to please her mother, Chen Shu tried to be the best child since she was a child.
So did Chen Shu. He became a corporate executive at a young age, and his salary was taken home to buy a house and a car for his family. He also asked his uneducated brother to study abroad.
However, what Chen Shu has done for this family is not worthy of gratitude. Mother took everything Chen Shu did for granted.
Although Chen Shu doesn't want to, she is gentle and sensible on the surface. For a long time, Chen Shu buried her trauma in the most secret corner of her heart and never showed it to anyone.
Then Chen Shu naively thought that those wounds would heal slowly with the passage of time, but she didn't know that those wounds took root and sprouted silently where she couldn't see them.
In fact, the only way to really heal the wound is to face it and face it squarely, but Chen Shu himself didn't have the courage.
Fortunately, with the help of Hai Yin, Chen Shu began to summon up courage to face his heart bravely.
Finally, one day, Chen Shu and her mother talked about son preference.
Unexpectedly, it is not so difficult to open the wound, reach an understanding and let go of the obsession.
The mother is well aware of her preference for her son, and she knows that she feels sorry for Chen Shu.
Feeling her mother's apology, Chen Shu's heart was suddenly relieved, as Kai-fu Lee said: "In fact, the most important thing in life is people, especially the feelings between people."
Chen Shu's mother treated Chen Shu that way for her own reasons.
Through in-depth communication with her mother, Chen Shu learned that her mother was "abused" by Chen Shu's grandmother since she was a child, and the reason why her grandmother treated her so harshly was that she hoped her mother would become a "useful person", because only a "useful person" could gain a foothold in the patriarchal society at that time and not be "abandoned" by her family.
Because of "the transmission of fate in the family", Chen Shu's mother was very harsh on Chen Shu in her subconscious. In fact, she didn't really "hate" Chen Shu, but "protected" Chen Shu in another way.
Some superficial feelings will mask more real feelings. Aware of her mother's hardship, Chen Shu forgave her from the heart, and at the same time, Chen Shu also let go of the knot with her brother and boyfriend for many years.
When we grow up, we have the ability to make choices. The misfortune of being born in a family should never be a fetter of our lives, just as Hai Yin said to Chen Shu: "Life and death are up to you!"
Resolving the contradictions in life and letting go of the knot, the iceberg frozen in Chen Shu's heart began to melt slowly, just like a dead tree meets spring, and Chen Shu's body and her heart went to spring together.
Write at the end:
Chen Shu, like Kai-Fu Lee, suffered from cancer, and through reflection on life, he actively adjusted his mentality and finally defeated "death".
Medicine Tree is a psychotherapy novel by Zhu Jianjun, the founder of image dialogue therapy.
Through the two-way presentation of Chen Shu's spiritual world and the real world, this book shows us a fantastic and mysterious spiritual journey of a cancer patient.
If "cancer" is regarded as the trough of our life, in fact, each of us will be troubled by "cancer". Life will give you honey and scars. As time goes by, those scars will gradually scab and become the most difficult part of your life.
Only by having a good attitude can we walk through the thorny life trough and usher in a beautiful new life.
A good attitude is better than all the medicines in the world.