Matthew Effect

Did you find out?

Love flows to those who are not short of love, and money flows to those who are not short of money. This is the "Matthew effect" in psychology.

Matthew effect comes from a fable:

Matthew is the king. One day, he was going out for a long trip, gave each of the three servants a gold coin, and told him, "Take it to do business, and come to me when I come back."

When the king came back:

The servant reported: I have earned 10 gold coins. So Matthew rewarded him 10 cities.

Servant 2 reports: I have earned 5 gold coins. So Matthew awarded him five cities.

Servant three reports: I have been keeping it carefully and don't want to do business. So Matthew took the servant's gold coin and gave it to the first servant.

He said, give him what you have twice. No, even what he has will be taken away.

Case 1:

Matthew effect reveals the cruel social phenomenon that the stronger the strong, the weaker the weak.

The same is true in marriage and emotion.

Example 1: Lili and her husband started from scratch, and her husband is ugly. Lily devoted all her energy to helping her husband's career, and bought all kinds of high-end clothes for her husband to talk business with others.

Later, my husband's career grew bigger and bigger, and the people he contacted became more and more powerful. He also got rid of the past ten spirits and attracted the favor of many opposite sex.

Lili is still the same, scrimping and saving, not dressing up and not paying attention to food and clothing.

Finally, my husband said, let's divorce.

Case 2:

After marriage, Fangfang worked as a full-time nanny for several years and found that although she worked 24 hours a day.

But her husband didn't see her efforts at all and blamed her for spending 5000 yuan on living expenses.

So she began to learn all kinds of skills, obtained the certificate of family education tutor, and started her own parenting blogger, with higher and higher income.

Instead, the husband began to take the initiative to take care of the children and do housework, and the economic power at home was also handed over to Fangfang.

So you will find:

1. The return on investment for yourself is far greater than that for others.

If you put your hopes on others and devote yourself wholeheartedly, you will continue to lose your dominant position and then have nothing.

So how to avoid Matthew effect and be the winner of love?

Build your own framework

The framework says: the principles and bottom line of your life and work.

In a relationship, the framework determines your position in this relationship. The bigger your shelf, the higher your status.

Application: the other half wants to test or suppress you, for example:

Man: You see how virtuous Lao Zhang's wife is, and her cooking is much better than yours. Can't you learn?

Wrong response: you think people cook delicious food, go and live with them! (Fall into the other side's box and lose the dominant position)

Correct answer: Yes, but it depends on your performance. You are doing very well. I don't mind learning a specialty to reward you.

Run your own company.

Think of yourself as a company and seriously consider the following questions:

What are my core strengths?

What can I do with my advantage?

③ What resources can I use?

Who will pay for me?

⑤ What do I need to pay?

What can I get?

After finding the answers to these questions, be sure to list the action plan for the next 3-6 months.

Then, act now! Soon, you will witness your own miracle!

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Method:

A good intimate relationship is to meet each other's needs.

But one party pays and the other party takes it for granted.

When you are in a strong state of mind, the attraction you exude in your feelings is super charming!