The establishment of intimate relationship between men and women is very similar to a fight on a tennis court. When they first met, there was no tacit understanding between them. You don't know her accustomed communication mode, you don't know what she thinks of you, and you don't know what kind of relationship she wants to establish with you. Therefore, the best way is for men to take the initiative to serve at the beginning: kick off with a slightly suggestive, ambiguous and provocative topic.

After the ball is hit, the girl will decide whether to hit the ball back according to your state, conditions, feelings for you, trust and security. If you are pleasing to the eye, she thinks your speech is very interesting and interesting, and she will respond appropriately during the dialogue. Even take the initiative to ask questions, care about you and get to know you. These responses are that the ball is back!

She came back from playing ball, which means she wants to date you? Then you are too optimistic. She may have a crush on you after playing ball, but she may be just curious and even friendly. You don't know this, so you must strengthen your strength and fight back.

If she has a good impression on you, she will catch the ball you hit back and hit a return ball that you should be able to catch. If you can practice it back and forth for a period of time, tacit understanding, enthusiasm, trust and common ground will be gradually established.

When you are sure that the strength of the relationship between two people is stable, you can continue to try to strengthen the strength (if you don't know what to do, please refer to the appendix emotional heat measurement table) to see how she fights back. She may feel offended and miss the ball, or she may just take a step back, then you will know that you are running too fast. But she may acquiesce in your guidance and return a ball that is neither heavy nor heavy. If she responds, it shows that your strength is fine, then you can continue to guide the whole process to a balanced relationship through such a blow process, but the sinking cost is gradually increasing.

Flirting is a polite behavior that allows women to dominate the relationship. Because men usually play the role of pursuers, they often have higher motivation than women to hope that this relationship can be transformed into love. However, at the beginning of the "comfort stage", I am afraid that the woman still holds a dispensable view, so men usually try to get closer to her.

However, many men feel that the so-called pursuit, the so-called closeness, is like a lion hunting deer, chasing and running, shortening the distance. But in practice, the control of distance is not controlled by men from beginning to end, but by women.

If she likes you, trusts you and feels safe enough, she will be willing to close the distance; But if she hates you, disagrees with you, is wary of you or feels uneasy, she will distance herself. As a pursuer, you must adjust your strength at any time. You can't jump forward without thinking, or you may be in vain. To adjust the intensity, we must find out where the current "safety bottom line" is.

The other party is not ready. If you stick it too close or contact it directly, your goodwill will definitely be greatly reduced. However, the other party clearly hinted that she had changed new underwear, indicating that she couldn't go home today, but you didn't even dare to touch your hands. I'm afraid the other person will sigh helplessly. So being too close or too far may be a problem!

Men want to know what girls think of themselves and what they can do. It's just that when men are inexperienced, they often ask directly, "Can I hold your hand?" This kind of question, but this kind of question is difficult for the other party to answer. Even if I am willing to let you hold me, I want the girl to admit that it is awkward after all, and I may feel that I am not dignified. How can I directly encourage you to touch it? So it's not pleasant to ask directly.

Men should never ask questions or confess as a way to detect distance. This is laziness, and it is an embarrassment for women to pass on the responsibility. But even if we don't ask directly, we still have to figure out the distance between ourselves and her, don't we? At this time, flirting with the right intensity can best grasp "what does she want to keep with you?"

What distance ".

You can first turn to the appendix of this book, Emotional Heat Measurement Table, and make milestones the focus of your flirting. Keep trying whether you can enter the next milestone within the scope of not being hated. Each breakthrough, continue to test the next one. This means that every time you reach a milestone and stay for an appropriate time, you have to test whether you can get closer.

How to take the exam? It just wants to flirt with more powerful forces. If her reaction is positive, you have taken another step forward. If she doesn't catch the ball, or even becomes upset, you just have to step back a little. As long as you master the rhythm, it will not have a fatal impact on the relationship.

Like the previous example of boasting hair style. If she pouts back, "I hate it, you don't even pay attention to others." I have changed my hairstyle for several days. How can you notice now? " You might flirt further: "It's my fault. I'm too busy these days to care about you. I will go to your seat every day to see if you are getting better. 」

A girl who has a crush on you may laugh at this time and then be noncommittal about your question. After that, I really went to her seat, talked to her, and even brought her a drink occasionally. You don't have to stay for a long time at a time, from tens of seconds to several minutes. If she sees you coming, she casually puts down what she is doing and chats with you every time, which shows that your tactics of moving forward have been firmly established, and you can try to move forward to the next level.

Of course, it is also possible that you will come to see her later. She just managed to talk to you, and there is nothing to talk about after a few words. So you know that her previous reaction may be purely social. But don't be pessimistic, or it may be because both of you are not good at chatting, so chatting is a bit difficult. Maybe she is worried that chatting at work will be stared at by the supervisor, so she is a little stuck.

Or there were too many people in the office at that time, and she was a little uncomfortable. In a word, just because you don't react well to her doesn't necessarily mean that she doesn't like you. In any case, when you feel that the road is not smooth, you should take a step back and stop talking. If you find that you can't talk properly, end the topic politely and re-establish the link another time.

In the above example, maybe the next time you meet her in the teahouse or corridor, talk to her again and see if she will stop to chat with you or come back in a hurry. These behaviors can show her attitude towards you. If you find a bunch of people in the office chatting awkwardly, and no one around you is chatting happily, then I'm afraid the problem is not you. At this time, it may be time to ask Line or WeChat, or try to ask her out instead of flirting in public!