Harmonious relationship between husband and wife is the primary factor of harmonious marriage. Since ancient times, people have put forward many beneficial ideas for husband and wife to live in harmony and build a harmonious family. Confucianism lists the relationship between husband and wife as one of the three basic principles, attaches great importance to the morality of husband and wife, and puts forward the behavior mode of "husband loyal to wife obedient". Ban Zhao wrote "Women's Commandments", which gave a general description of the Confucian morality of husband and wife: "The way of husband and wife, with the participation of Yin and Yang, is a great festival of human relations. It is in the era when "courtesy" values men over women that "poetry" means "Guan Ju". From the point of view, it doesn't matter. If the husband is not virtuous, there will be no royal woman, and if the woman is not virtuous, there will be no husband. " The relationship between husband and wife is based on the virtue of heaven and earth, which directly affects the virtue of family, social stability and ethical simplicity.

In the discussion of Confucianism, the harmony between husband and wife is discussed by many classic remarks. The following are some excerpts and some comments for the reference of modern families.

Body (1) cannot (2) be the Tao and (3) be a wife; Therefore, if people don't follow the Tao, they can't do things to their wives. -Mencius? Dedicated "

Note: (1) Text: self. (2) line: follow. (3) No: the directions are not implemented. (4) production: production. (5) Failure: The order cannot be obeyed.

Note: As the old saying goes, "You must be upright first". As a husband, if he doesn't follow the right path, then his wife will do the opposite. If you drive your wife immorally, she won't obey. Even if you have to, you will be unwilling, unwilling, which means "no talking." In modern society, some couples and husbands behave badly and do whatever they want to their wives, which is bound to destroy their feelings and affect family harmony.

Husband and wife are soft. -Jia Yi: "A new book? Book of Rites "

Note: between husband and wife, it is important that the husband is smooth and the wife is gentle, which is the basis of loving feelings between husband and wife. If the husband and wife have a bad temper, it is not conducive to harmony.

Husband and wife, righteous close relatives, kindness ... kindness abolished, husband and wife separated. -"Used to be? Female precepts

Note: between husband and wife, only by following morality can they be close to each other and harmonious, and only by loving each other can they get along well for a hundred years. Otherwise, the name of husband and wife no longer exists, and the divorce is not far away.

If the husband is unfair, the woman will be unhappy. -Yan Zhitui: "Yan Jiaxun? run a household

Note: If the husband is unfaithful, the wife will be heartless and disobedient. Only when there is affection and righteousness between husband and wife can the marriage last.

Self-cultivation should be clean, respect the elders, be gentle with the servants (10), be lenient with the diners (2), and don't let the gentleman see it easily. This is a courtesy, which is naturally more important than a husband. -Liao History? Biography of women

Note: (1) Flexibility: supple. (2) Caring with tolerance: nurturing offspring with tolerance.

Note: How can a wife get the respect of her husband? Self-love, filial piety to elders, gentleness to husbands and generosity to future generations are the laws of propriety and righteousness. Otherwise, it is frivolous and despised by gentlemen.

Husband and wife, all based on benevolence and righteousness, ... husband's deep affection (1), father and son couple and so on. ..... Love, deep in people's hearts, is the place of stupid wisdom ***(2) also. Any fool will forget his wife. -The Literature of the Whole Tang Dynasty (volume 13 1 Wang Ji: Letter of Answer)

Note: (1) Left: l, make. (2) Institute * * *: Institute * * * has.

Note: Husband and wife are bound together because of affection and righteousness. Love comes from people's hearts and belongs to everyone. With friendship, even a fool will never forget his wife.

When couples are together, their kindness is still very good ... As a guest, Qi Mei is (1) sincere. -Li Zhi: "Burning Books" Volume II "Book Answer? Yu Zhuang Chunfu

Note: (1) Qi Mei: It means that husband and wife respect and love each other.

Note: Take Qi Mei as an example, mutual respect is a sign of love between husband and wife.

A woman wants to be with her husband all her life (1), share weal and woe, and be safe. -Zhang Lvxiang: "Collected Works of Mr. Yang Yuan" Volume 48 "Xun Yu Zi Xia"

Note: lifelong care: life care.

Note: the wife is the sustenance of her husband's life, and the husband should share joys and sorrows with her and spend it safely. Otherwise, we can only "fly separately when the disaster comes."

I don't believe that I can forgive others without forgiving my wife. -Tang Zhen: "Hidden Book? man and wife

Note: A husband should be tolerant, not his wife, but others, which others don't believe.

Husband and wife turned against each other (1) and could not be honest with each other. -"Zhouyi"? Small livestock

Note: (1) Objection: disharmony.

Note: The husband and wife turned against each other and quarreled all day. How can there be harmony?

The couple became friends with their later families. -Cheng: "Youth Pai Qionglin? man and wife

Note: Only when husband and wife live in harmony can family harmony be achieved. As the old saying goes, "Everything prospers at home", and the family and husband and wife live in harmony first.

The way of husband and wife is selfless (1). Harmony is good for parents, and private is bad for brothers (2); If you are harmonious, you will not lose your feelings, but if you are private, you will not be guaranteed. Good (3) is the great precept of a gentleman; Restraint of private interests does not mean restraint of peace. -Tang Zhen: "Hidden Book? sitting room

Note: (1) Private: preference. (2) hinder brothers: hurt brothers' feelings. (3) Howe: favoring his wife. Ahmadinejad: wife.

Note: husband and wife form a small family, and a small family will always live in a big family. So the way of family harmony is based on harmony, and there is no preference for harmony. There is also filial piety to parents, so as not to lose affection; Preference for boys will hurt the feelings of brothers, and it will also affect the feelings of husband and wife, so that the feelings of husband and wife will not last long. Therefore, a husband cannot blindly favor his wife, and the purpose of giving up his preference is to live in harmony.

The couple is right, and then everything is right. -Li Zhi: Book Burning Volume III Miscellaneous Notes? Husband and wife theory

Note: If the relationship between husband and wife is correct, naturally everything is right but not evil. This so-called "taking the right path first" is also said.

In modern society, there are many contradictions between husband and wife, and their feelings are broken, which leads to a high divorce rate. Although there are many reasons, the most fundamental reason is that modern couples lack a sense of family responsibility. Without marriage consciousness, the final result can only be divorce. Although the Confucian theory of marriage ethics is not a golden rule, it is beneficial for modern couples to build a harmonious marriage.

Taoism has little discussion on marriage ethics, mainly dividing marriage into sex:

Taoist alchemy system is mysterious and complicated, including health preservation, external alchemy, internal alchemy, fasting and miscellaneous techniques. Health preserving techniques include refining qi, daily exposure, avoiding food, eating, guiding, promoting qi, having sex and regulating diet.

Gas refining is a mysterious cultivation method related to yoga.

The method of sunbathing is not called heliotherapy today, but it also has some mysterious mechanisms and mysterious procedures. Holding the word "one day" in hand, a man exposes his body to the sun, which is called the "sunlight absorption method". Women, on the other hand, hold the black word "moon" on yellow paper and are exposed to the moonlight. Men and women are different and follow the theory of yin and yang and five elements.

You don't eat fireworks, Gu Mi. Shan Hai Jing said: "Liegu Mountain is in the middle of Haihe River. There are gods and people on the mountain. They suck wind and drink dew, and don't eat whole grains. Their hearts are like deep springs and they are like virgins. " This is about a fairy.

Ge Hong, a Taoist priest in the Eastern Jin Dynasty, wrote two stories about how to avoid the valley in "Bao Pu Zi Dui Pian". One of them quoted Chen Zhonggong's Strange Tales from a Lonely Studio as saying that Zhang Guangding, a county resident, hid a four-year-old girl in an ancient tomb with a vertical hole when she fled, and only gave her dry food and water for several months. Three years later, she came back to collect her daughter's bones, but she was still alive. It turned out that after being deprived of food, she learned to be an animal in the grave and lived by breathing. Zhang Guangding found the breathing animal, which turned out to be a chinemys reevesii. The story of crossing the valley preached by Taoism is an unverifiable fairy story, which is very strange. Taoist priests also eat unusual things such as pine nuts, but they don't eat nothing. Most people who don't eat anything are those who seek fame, breathe in openly for a living and secretly eat whole grains. Around 1989, Gu, a retired worker of Zhengzhou Wireless Power Plant, claimed to be a "master of mountain springs" to teach people to "contribute to food" and went to Beijing Broadcasting Equipment Factory to give lectures, causing countless people who "contributed to food" to starve to death. (Tu Jianhua: "Out of the Fraud", China Overseas Chinese Publishing House, 1999, p. 3 17)

Yan Xin, a qigong master, also publicized the power of breaking the grain, thinking that breaking the grain without being hungry is full of energy, because he "opened his own' nutrition inventory'-stored protein, fat, trace elements, vitamins and other human life substances." (Guo Qinghua: China Superman Art Times Literature and Art Publishing House, 1994 edition, p. 97) The "crossing the valley" technique in modern qigong inherits the "crossing the valley" technique of Taoist health preservation and further exaggerates and mystifies it.

Guidance, that is, the expansion and contraction of the body, is a relatively mild gymnastics, which may have evolved from the dance of wizards praying for rain. Guidance was later called kung fu and internal strength. Needham believes that the ideological basis of guidance may be the concept of ancient Chinese medicine, that is, the pores of the human body are easily blocked, and the blocked pores lead to blood stagnation and disease. Besides instruction, there is also massage. Today's Tai Ji Chuan and incense sticks are typical guided gymnastics.

It is unthinkable for Confucianism and Buddhism to discuss and operate the art of sexual intercourse as a teaching principle, but Taoism has done it. It is of great physiological significance to study the most sensitive and secretive sexual skills of human beings. Mr. Feng Youlan said: "Taoism is the only mysterious system in the world that is not quite opposed to science", which is related to this. Of course, the contribution of Taoist alchemy to modern chemistry and medicine can not be ignored.

The reason why room art can be studied by Taoism is not unrelated to the prevalence of "Yin-Yang theory", which explains the world with two qi, and men and women are typical of Yin-Yang and two qi. Therefore, Taoism believes that sex is not only an obstacle to immortality, but an important help. The time for men and women to practice sex privately is called "Yin-Yang regimen". Its purpose is to borrow essence and store essence. At the same time, the two sexes should complement each other and nourish each other, such as "one yin and one yang must be combined" in the Xuannv Classic.

There were books about sexual intercourse in the Ming Dynasty, maybe earlier. 1903, Ye Dehui collected Sutra of Plain Woman, Sutra of Mysterious Woman, Secret Book of Yufu, Cave of Zi Xuan, Joy in Heaven and Earth, and compiled The Dark Series of Double Eyebrows. Bai Juyi, a poet in the Tang Dynasty, had a younger brother named Bai Xingjian. It is said that Ode to Yin and Yang of Heaven and Earth was written by Bai Xingjian. Japanese Medical Heart Prescription was written in 982 AD, but it was not published until 1854 nearly a thousand years later. Both it and Yu Fang Yao Zhi contain many fragments of ancient sexual art.

Most intrauterine operations are not outrageous, and the outrageous ones are far away, such as "nourishing yin and nourishing yang" and "nourishing brain". In Chen's White Deer Plain, a Guo married a second wife named Xiao 'e. "I don't want the baby to sleep, but I want to date him." Every night, I stuffed three dried dates into a place for women to eat, soaked them all night, washed them the next morning and gave them to Guo on an empty stomach. (Chen: Bailuyuan, People's Literature Publishing House, 1993, p. 128) The original meaning of Taoism's "nourishing yin and yang" is that men "make love without leaking" and "count women without ejaculating". Because "the climax of female sexual intercourse can strengthen the vitality of men, so men's sexual behavior should be prolonged as much as possible to achieve the purpose of nourishing yin and yang." (Needham: History of China's Ancient Scientific Thought, Jiangxi People's Publishing House, 1999, p. 169) These methods have all become the methods of soaking dates in novels, and there are many versions similar to this statement among the people, which is by no means groundless for novelists. However, can this method achieve the effect of "tonifying Yang"? "White Deer Plain" said that "Guo ate pickled dates and was rejuvenated for two years".

The art of "nourishing essence and brain" is recorded in the Book of the Later Han Dynasty, which says that the successful art of Leng Shouguang leads to a long life. The so-called sperm reflux is to press the urethra between scrotum and anus during ejaculation, so that semen can enter the urethra and then be excreted with urine. Taoism doesn't know this. They think that if sperm goes up, they can nourish the body. Taoism calls it "the upper reaches of the Yellow River". It is said that there are still many people practicing tolerance among the people.

The most magical thing in Taoist religious behavior is to make the general marriage life and personal private practice public and become a ritual. This kind of ceremony is called "the truth of Chinese Qi", and it is also called "the combination of qi" between men and women. This technology began in the period of Sean and Zhang Daoling in the 2nd century AD, and by 400 AD, under the leadership of Sun Simiao, it was very common. The purpose of the technique of "combining qi" is to "release sin" After fasting, on the night of the new moon and the full moon, there was a dance called "Dragon Wrapping Tiger" at first, and then it was an open religious group, or the congregation had continuous sexual intercourse in the temple wing by various means. This kind of intercourse ceremony, in which the congregation despised class, attached importance to human nature, and mixed with each other regardless of value and practice, stunned ascetic monks and respectable Confucianism.

Today, there are many schools of Qigong, and the art of coitus has risen again. It is reported that 1994, the newspaper International Qigong Newspaper sponsored by the banned illegal organization International Qigong Science Federation, once advertised and held correspondence classes to teach Taoism "Xuanjue Dandao" and "Double Cultivation of Yin and Yang".

In addition to health preservation, Taoist prescriptions include external elixir, internal elixir, fasting, miscellaneous techniques and so on. Practicing inner elixir is to practice the qi in the body, so that it can be fixed in the five internal organs without leaking out, and the essence can be integrated into one elixir, so as to achieve "Changchun is not old, sharing the same interest with the sky", that is, practicing the qi in the abdomen. In modern Qigong, the true qi, the qi in the abdomen, the qi in the channels and collaterals, the qi in the zang-fu organs, and the cultivation theories and methods of relaxation, breathing, circulation, quietness and law-abiding all come from the theory of Neidan. External alchemy includes Atractylodes macrocephala, and then alchemy. The alchemy refined by various techniques includes Huang Dan (mercuric oxide, lead oxide), Huang Dan (mercuric sulfide), calomel, ointment (mercuric chloride) and so on. During the Sui and Tang Dynasties, alchemy reached its climax, and many emperors in the Tang Dynasty died because of the mistake of their country. Of course, alchemy also discovered the production of solid aqua regia and the smelting of realgar, and invented gunpowder. There are about 100 kinds of works about external alchemy in Daozang. Fasting miscellaneous techniques include fasting, blessing, incantation, stepping, riding and jumping, five escapes, keeping Geng Shen, suppressing soul and controlling spirit, and changing techniques.

The theory of yin-yang and five elements is the ideological basis of Taoism, which runs through all aspects of Taoism's cosmology, immortal pedigree and alchemy. In the aspect of Dan Dao, the Fairy Classic and the Book of Changes take the faint Dan carving of Yin and Yang and the five elements as the symbol of advance and retreat, and express the images of practice of Kan, Li, water, fire, dragon, tiger, lead and mercury. Taoist alchemy, such as waiting for the sky, looking at the sky, the destiny of the stars, the magic of Taoism and the integrity of the earth, can not be separated from Yin and Yang and the five elements. Taoism pursues immortality and is very attractive. Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty is an emperor who pursues immortality. A man named Li, claiming to be a fairy, went to Chang 'an to please the emperor. This gentleman is fifty years old, but he claims to be seventy years old, which makes people feel like a sage like type. Shao Jun said, "Sex substances and cinnabar can be turned into gold, and gold can make people live longer if they eat and drink", and promoted his alchemy theory. However, this young gentleman died before being taught the art of immortality, which made Emperor Wu very sorry. Emperor Wu did not think of this: how can you say that you are dead when you are dead?

The same joke was also made in the Soviet Union. Bogomolets successfully studied a theory about longevity. He declared that people can live to 150 years old. Stalin was very interested in the scientist's research results, so he always cared about his research work. Bogomolets' demands were unconditionally met, and both material and spiritual gains were made. He was awarded various medals and honorary titles by Stalin: academician of the Academy of Sciences, Stalin Prize winner and socialist labor hero. Bogo Molecz died on 1946 at the age of 65. Stalin was more enlightened than Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty. It suddenly dawned on him: "It seems that this guy cheated everyone."