Everything depends on people! As long as you figure it out, it's easy to do anything, so how to break through such psychological barriers? First of all, we should strengthen our ideological acceptance, pay attention to ourselves, learn some knowledge or do some things and hobbies we like, discover and use our strengths, and make a little progress every day. That's good, get rid of those thoughts and entanglements, and gradually cultivate our hobbies, so that they can gradually build confidence and place hope on life. This is the first step; Then while studying, try to take a walk outside to see what other people from all walks of life are busy with, what kind of lifestyle they are, and find something suitable for them from life. Don't worry, just keep improving your understanding from the bottom of your heart.
In fact, saying these things is to cultivate your courage and confidence in fitness. With these things, I want to get better slowly! In addition, I should listen to other people's well-meaning suggestions, don't be stubborn and don't beat around the bush, and think about the interests of things from the heart. Even if I can't overcome these things right away, I can realize that I need to take my time!
In fact, people should have a process of growth, who has no shortcomings! As long as you have the confidence to change, think seriously, change your original thinking and slowly get out of the shadows, it is not impossible! It is a good choice to belittle those external accusations, not as a blow, but as a force for progress. It is still very important to say these keys, which can change our thinking and understanding!
Analyze the reasons. At present, your state is not confident and clear, psychologically sensitive, introverted and quiet, and your self-identity is poor. Among these problems, poor self-identity is the core problem, which will exist in many people with inferiority complex. It is not easy to change, but it is definitely not a psychological "cancer." I hope I can first let you know how this source of self-denial comes into being through psychological theory.
For us in childhood, we gradually began to clarify and strengthen our self-awareness. At this stage, our self-identity comes from the outside world, and the support and praise of our parents is the source of our self-identity. Therefore, when your parents keep scolding you, they are actually giving you a hint, "You can't do it, you are poor", so subconsciously, we lose a part of ourselves, that is, the positive us.
Therefore, in order to change all this, we must first break away from the past and rebuild our self-awareness.
Began to learn to get rid of the inherent environment and control life. The most common situation in China families is that it is difficult for children to leave family of origin, both psychologically and materially, which means that we are bound to some extent. Once we enter this situation, it is difficult for us to truly achieve psychological freedom, whether it is good or bad.
Although I don't know your age, if you are an adult, I think besides family, society is where you need more contact. Whether it's work, study or socializing, getting into some roles that you should enter at your age will improve your self-awareness. This means that we need to plan our time well, even if it is chaotic at first, but we must keep trying. This is a necessary condition for psychological and material separation.
Secondly, we should gradually establish a correct, good and positive way of thinking.
For example, you think you can't talk. This question has several meanings, 1. There is nothing wrong with your expressive ability, but you dare not speak. 2, your expression ability is poor, so you dare not talk more;
You feel unwelcome. In fact, among many people with low self-esteem, being unpopular does not mean that they are resisted by the outside world, but that they subconsciously lack self-identity, so their thinking shows that I am poor, so no one wants to contact me and so on.
Regarding these two questions, the first thing you need to know is whether the state and situation you think really happened! ?
Parents give you negative hints when you are young, and we do the opposite and give ourselves positive hints. This is a process of building good thinking. Moreover, it is not self-comfort that some people understand. It is useless to simply comfort yourself. The first thing we need to know is our own strengths and weaknesses. You need to analyze yourself in this process. No matter how bad people are, there are always some advantages, whether they are kind, positive or friendly! I'm sure you have it, too!
Then, find out what may be your strengths, but you have overlooked them. For example, you are actually very good at expressing yourself and active in thinking, but you are blocked by your negative psychology, but we can still find it after careful thinking.
Then, analyze the shortcomings, whether these shortcomings can be changed, such as: poor expression ability (which can be reshaped the day after tomorrow) and average appearance (which is determined by nature and cannot be changed, and you do not exist personally), and then actively hint at these three problems.
This suggestion process is not complicated. In fact, whenever and wherever you have negative thoughts and start to escape, you will temporarily stop thinking, then change your way of thinking and take the initiative to suggest yourself (this process is not easy to describe, and self-guidance takes a while to feel that there is no guidance).
Ten years of life experience and way of thinking are not easy to change. I'm talking about what you have to do in the early stage, and then you will receive positive psychological feedback. Come on!
There is a saying on the Internet: "Silence is a person's biggest cry."
It means that people are silent because life has erased the edges and corners, which is a compromise to the world and a very sad thing.
However, I think that if you become more and more silent and don't want to speak out, it's not cowardice or compromise, but it shows that you underestimate many things, and many people, you are becoming more and more mature.
Bright but not dazzling, soft and powerful.
It's better to look at people than to look at people.
When I was a child, I especially liked to argue with others, especially cared about what others thought of me, and I also liked to find someone to complain about trivial matters.
Later, when I grew up, I found that I liked the feeling of silence more and more.
No longer in a hurry to argue with others, I gradually understand that not all people live in the same sea, have different experiences and different views, and their views on one thing will definitely be different.
If you are in the same way, you will go a long way, but if you are in different ways, you will not seek common ground.
Don't pin all your joys and sorrows on others. If you feel comfortable with anyone, you should communicate more. If you feel tired, choose silence and stay away slowly.
Life has been so hard, there is no need to force yourself to please and cater to anyone.
Life is bitter, no longer in a hurry to find someone to complain. Because of their own sufferings, only they can understand. If you talk too much, people will only think you are melodramatic. It is better to find a quiet corner, find something that makes you happy, heal alone, and be quiet and happy.
People will meet many people in this life, and everyone who appears in your life has its meaning.
People who love you give you warmth and courage; The people you love let you learn how to love and share; People you don't like teach you how to be tolerant and respectful; People who don't like you let you learn to introspect and grow.
Life is like a trip. Some people get off at this stop and others get off at the next stop. It is a great fate to travel together.
When the person accompanying you wants to leave, be grateful even if you don't give up, learn to bow your head and wave goodbye.
We are all passers-by between heaven and earth, and there are many people and things in the world that we can't do.
Mountains and water can be forgotten in pairs, and days and months can be irrelevant. On the world of mortals, we will eventually walk alone, and people who look down will be happier.
It's better to judge people than to judge them.
Half a life has passed, and you are getting more and more silent, but you know that many things are not as important as you think. Think about it and forget it, so you chose silence.
A long time ago, a king wanted to find a sentence to make happy people sad and sad people happy.
But he spent a lot of time asking a lot of people and couldn't find it.
Until one night, a wise man said to him in a dream, "all this will pass!" " "
Things are like smoke, things are different, no matter good or bad, nothing is eternal.
Silence is the best weapon, and time is the best antidote, which will make everything disappear.
I don't know when it started, but I fell madly in love with this sentence: "Don't be humiliated. Just look at bloom's flowers falling in front of the court. I have no intention of staying, floating around with the clouds."
This has almost become my motto in life. Whenever I am sad, misunderstood and have a bad job, I will use this sentence to encourage myself:
Decades of life, what we care about now, what we care about, what we get and what we don't get are just a short moment in the long river of life. Looking back a few years or even longer, everything is gone, which is totally unworthy of our care.
In the days to come, tell yourself that you will be happy when you are happy, calm when you are lost, look down on everything that happens in your life, be silent and laugh happily.
I believe many people have this experience:
I like to speak in QQ space, or send a circle of friends to express what I saw and felt at that time, or some subtle thoughts that others didn't realize, in a few simple sentences.
Wait until many years later, and then turn to my former talk and circle of friends, I will feel that my previous remarks are very melodramatic and I can't wait to delete them all.
In fact, this is the essence of life. No matter how happy and concerned you are at first, everything will fade away with the passage of time and become an ethereal memory in your life.
As a result, you become more and more silent, less and less like to show yourself in front of people, and more and more deeply understand:
Love and hate, both become a process, good and bad, and finally become the past.
Relax your heart, take things lightly and enjoy your care silently, which is the best way to live.
I like silence, but that's because I'm getting more and more mature.
Read this sentence:
When you become more and more silent and don't want to talk, it should be that you are more and more mature, many things are looked down upon, and many people look down upon them.
So, when you want to argue, think about it, so you choose silence.
I don't think about how to integrate into other people's world as I did when I was young. As I get older, I like quiet and solitude.
Spare time and prepare a fine meal for yourself and your family; Clean the house and put away the beautiful things you bought; Walking in the park with headphones and listening to favorite music; Holding a book, stay quietly for an afternoon. ......
If you see a person from a distance, sitting in a corner, smiling peacefully, without noise and publicity, he is not unhappy, but feels more comfortable in a silent state.
No matter how clever a person is, he can't see through everything; No matter how clever a person is, he can't be understood by everyone.
Really mature people know that the past is like a stream, and the best state of life is not to avoid the noise of cars and horses, but to hedge and plant chrysanthemums in your heart.
For the rest of my life, I hope that you will be humble, silent and happy.