Professor Li Meijin, who has been engaged in the research of criminal psychology and adolescent psychological problems for a long time, said that crime prevention should start from minors. Of course, it is not that our children will become criminals, but that her long-term research has made achievements in children's psychology, so some of her words are worth thinking about.
Professor Li Meijin once said: There are three taboos and four taboos in raising children.
Professor Li Meijin said: Poor children tend to feel inferior and haggle over every ounce, and it is difficult for them to have a big mind when they grow up.
I used to have a neighbor whose family started as a vegetable wholesaler. It's very hard to get up early and get greedy. She earns hard money. Later, her business grew bigger and richer, but she felt that it was not easy for her son to make money. Although the conditions at home are good, his son often wears old clothes from relatives, so he takes his son out shopping and keeps bargaining. Later, when my son grew up, he developed a character of haggling over every ounce. Later, because it was not worth the loss.
It's because the fucking "poverty" thought has done harm to children, and they feel that everything should be taken advantage of. The most terrible thing is "poor" thinking, which limits the pattern of life.
What is "bitterness" is to make children suffer. In order to cultivate their children's strong character, some parents try to raise their children instead of "suffering". There is a boy in the neighbor's house. It's really not easy to grow up all the way. In order to cultivate him, his father kept making things difficult for him. At the age of three, he took his children out for a run at MINUS 20 degrees and after five o'clock. The child had a high fever and then fainted. He also said that men are so delicate and make people angry.
This often happens to fathers. They think that boys should be manly, be strong when things happen, don't cry, and often attack their children mentally. Such children are easy to feel inferior and can't be themselves.
Lewis, an English writer, once said: People think children are not smart because they think they are stupid.
Some families have only one boy. They think that the boy is the pillar of the family, so they love him since childhood. Li Meijin said, "Accustomed to raising children, it is easy to raise an ungrateful' baiwenhang'.
Many children are spoiled and have problems. The incident of the son of a famous singer must be fresh in everyone's memory, but what he said in his mouth was the Lord who was afraid of change, and the ending was embarrassing.
Some people say that boys are more worry-free, and there is no need to be so meticulous in education without the pampering of girls. After I gave birth to a boy, menstruation said it was a worry-free, and the boy was not afraid of losing money and didn't care so much.
But boys, like girls, have rich inner worlds, and there is no difference. Don't think that they are born with a strong heart and can talk to them without thinking. What the parents said is probably the child's injury.
They all say that "men don't flick when they have tears." But don't forget the next sentence, "I just don't feel sad." There is no shame in boys crying. They also need to vent their emotions. Tears are the best release.
If boys don't even have the right to cry, how can their pressure be released and relieved?
There is a boy in a relative's house who is famous for his strength. He didn't cry when he was naughty and beaten. Because he was educated from an early age, boys can't cry, no matter how hard they cry. Just because he didn't cry, he was regarded as something to show off by his parents.
It is this boy who began to learn to smoke and drink when he was only a teenager. When he was a heavy smoker, he smoked two packs a day to persuade him to give up smoking. He said that he was bored and smoking could calm him down. Do you think this has turned smoking into an emotional vent?
A survey shows that in China, 42% of children's education problems are borne by mothers, 32% by the elderly and less than 12% by fathers. Many of these mothers who obstruct their children's education have become "dissatisfied wives", often accusing their fathers in front of their children, or feeling that their efforts have not been rewarded when their children are naughty. The reason for having children is more to blame the husband.
You may say this because you want your children to know your dedication or gratitude, or on impulse, but it has a great influence on them. In children's psychology, fathers are generally great and imitative objects, which will greatly reduce the image of fathers in children's psychology and make children have rebellious psychology.
Maybe your words changed the idol of dad, and the children became confused, disoriented and lost confidence in the future.
For some families, the father bears most of the expenses, the mother takes care of the family more, and some mothers are full-time housewives. If this is because the father is inconsiderate to his wife, he often attacks his wife when he encounters something, which not only hurts his wife, but also hurts his children.
This kind of injury generally has two aspects:
First, let the child feel guilty, because the mother takes care of him and becomes the object of his father's complaint.
Second, children's disrespect for their mothers and women's contribution to the family may affect their future views on marriage and love.
I know a boss whose wife is a full-time wife and has been taking care of her son at home. The boss thinks that he is bringing home the bacon and his wife can do nothing. On the day he sent his son abroad, the boss criticized his wife again. At this time, his son said a word: Mom, you will be relieved when I leave.
The couple divorced soon after their son went abroad. My wife opened a maternal and infant shop by herself, and now there are three chain stores. The most regrettable thing is that their son told them clearly that he likes boys.
Many people think that boys have nothing to lose in love, which has no correct influence on children's view of love. Children's subconscious disrespect for girls also leads to a lack of responsibility, which may also affect their future marriage and family.
What should parents with boys do? Professor Li Meijin said: Love should be discussed before the age of three, and rules should be made after the age of three. So I suggest you set up these rules:
Now a family often has 6 pairs 1 or even more. Since six or more adults take care of a child, it is needless to say that it is spoiled, but children must respect their elders and not develop domineering personality.
Children should also develop respect for women and respect all women from their mothers. At that time, the son of a star called his mother a "pig" in the program, which caused an uproar at that time, and no amount of money could buy a child's noble heart.
A polite gentleman will be welcomed everywhere.
Boys should develop a big mind, not arrogant and impetuous, not discouraged when they encounter failure, and feel that they can't do it. Only with a strong will can they learn to take responsibility and successfully tide over the difficulties in the future.
In recent years, incidents of children jumping off buildings have occurred frequently, that is, children can't face difficulties and won't solve them when they encounter things.
Our society is a legal society, and there are rules everywhere. Boys are the representatives of strength, especially in the rebellious period. So we should guide them to obey the rules from an early age.
It is said that girls are intimate little cotton-padded jackets and boys are leather jackets, which should be maintained from time to time. If we want to have an excellent, sunny, caring and warm man, we need our parents to influence him and teach him by their words and deeds.
Only by forming good qualities can boys maintain their families when they grow up, become a tree that families can rely on, and know how to love themselves and others.
Helvetius, a Frenchman, said: Even ordinary children will become extraordinary people as long as they are properly educated. Let's grow up with our children and enjoy the beauty of tomorrow together.