After breaking up, the casual breakup is still a friend's five strokes. Now that you have chosen, don't look back. Once you don't love, you will abandon the bondage of morality, and broken feelings will always be stuck in your heart. I read the relevant information about my friend's five moves to break up without pain, hoping to help you.
After breaking up, the casual breakup is still a friend's five strokes. Breaking up 1 is a kind of termination for a relationship. It's hard not to hurt each other's self-esteem at all, but at least it must be good, good. Even if love has become the past, the sweetness of the past is worth remembering.
First, don't force each other to break up first.
Passing the buck is a villain's behavior and an immature move. Some people change their feelings or fall in love with other people, but they don't want to be the one who broke up voluntarily, so they try their best to force the other person to break up voluntarily. On the one hand, he didn't have to bear the responsibility of ending the relationship, on the other hand, he successfully kept the image of the victim in front of outsiders. Remember, this behavior is really disgusting.
Second, break up in person.
Now the development of social science and technology, all kinds of chat software, mobile phones, text messages and so on. Many people don't even feel the need to face each other when they break up. Some people think it hurts to ask in person, so they choose these ways to escape. But actually breaking up in person is the most correct way. This kind of communication can provide you with the functions of communication and appeasement. Other ways will unconsciously send out a meaning of "in fact, you are insignificant"
In addition, not breaking up face to face is easy to leave psychological trauma to the other party. When you can't get any explanation, you will spend a lot of time thinking about what you did wrong. And these tangled thoughts may cause depression, lack of direct contact, and lovelorn will be particularly painful.
Third, remember to maintain each other's self-esteem.
It is inevitable that there will be some disputes when breaking up, and it is inevitable that emotions will become excited. Therefore, we should prevent ourselves from complaining in advance, which not only protects the dignity of lovers, but also protects our own dignity. You should give each other a frank explanation and tell them why they can't go on. It's best to say "you're not the one I'm looking for" when breaking up, which is clear enough and won't imply that the other party has mistakes or defects.
Fourth, never break up or be friends.
Breaking up or being friends is actually not a good thing, which may make the one who broke up feel less guilty to some extent, but it is really a very painful thing for the person who was dumped. Such behavior makes it easy for them to get back together in the future, and it is more difficult for them to get out of such feelings. In order to speed up the recovery of lovelorn love, the two sides should not have any contact after breaking up, including letters and telephone calls.
Fifth, don't think about revenge.
If the other party doesn't agree to break up, there will be some quarrels, which can't be consistent and can't be handled smoothly. If the other party overreacts, you should pay attention to protect yourself and put personal safety first at all times. In addition, don't think about revenge, which will not only waste your energy, but also make you miss each other more. The important thing is that breaking the law for someone you don't love is not worth it.
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After breaking up, you are still friends. Five strokes to break up painlessly. Every relationship is different.
"The way you handle a breakup is related to how you handle this relationship," said Dr. Lieberman, a psychoanalyst and psychotherapist in new york who specializes in interpersonal relationships.
First of all, not every relationship needs a vigorous ending. There is no hard and fast rule that you have entered the stage of love.
"Some people think that they are lovers just because they have dated twice, while others think that even if they date many times, they can be lovers." Lieberman said: "If you have only dated two or three times, it means that you want to end the relationship without calling, but if you have experienced romantic events or sexual contact, it is more polite to call each other."
"Sometimes it's easier not to call. These people turn around and run." She admitted it. The outbreak of online dating makes the situation more complicated, because it is necessary to actually break up.
"People who have been in love online for a long time will have the impulse to call each other. It may be a long time before you have the courage to ask to meet, which may cause problems again, because you already like each other very much. Then, when they finally meet, you will find many places that show that you are not suitable for each other. " She said.
Lieberman said that because of the popularity of online dating, the signs before breaking up have also changed. "If you see your online lover chatting with others, you are likely to be dumped." She said. This is more cunning than indifference or not dating.
Don't break up by email.
Britney spears, a famous singer, broke up with her current husband Kevin by text message, which was widely reported. However, SMS, email or other high-tech information transmission systems are not the best media to end romantic relationships.
Social networking sites including MySpace and Facebook allow users to post comments on each other's pages, but they should never be used to end a romantic relationship. You shouldn't use websites either. Websites provide several types of breakup recordings, including implicit and straightforward.
"If it's just a chance encounter, it's not a serious matter. It's ok to end texting. But in my opinion, it is better to make it clear by phone or make an appointment to meet. " Lieberman said. "The information of breaking up should not be published by SMS or email, because it is cowardly." Dr. Alison Arnold said.
Adhere to the principle of kinship
"Face-to-face or telephone contact is necessary," Arnold said. "It's important to ask questions and feel your hints."
Arnold suggested that you should be as frank and direct as possible. "Don't engage in tit-for-tat arguments. Adhere to the following principles: this is not a job, no one is wrong, but we need to make changes. "
Can you make friends with him?
Whether two people can be friends again after breaking up depends on themselves and how they feel when they break up. "If that person is deeply involved and then breaks up, he always tries to make the other person change his mind, but a Platonic relationship won't work," Lieberman said. If you still love him and want him back, the best way is to treat him coldly.
"If you really want to be friends with him and he hasn't found a new lover, the best way is to leave for a while." She said. Arnold agreed. "No contact, no phone calls, no coffee together for at least eight weeks." She said. "You need time to get used to it and find yourself."
Chatting like "friends" every day is a taboo. "This will only keep the wound inflamed." Arnold said. "Don't keep calling to find out about his (her) daily situation. Interrupt all contact information. "
A cure for pain
"Learn from every relationship," Arnold said. "Write down five things that you appreciate in this relationship and want to happen in the next relationship, and five things that you don't want to happen again."
"Don't make excuses to disturb each other, find new activities, chat with friends and divert your attention." Arnold said.
"Don't find a new lover right away," she suggested. "Don't use others to treat the wound. It's unfair to both of you. "