My classmate's cousin, gentle and dignified, does well in school. Later, after graduation, she went to a big company in Shanghai to develop. After several years of hard work, she is now a sales manager and married a local boy to have children.
She said that Shanghai girls are tall, dignified and beautiful, but they must not marry girls with too good family background, because there is a kind of pride in their bones, which makes them feel aggressive and unattainable when they feel a strong pressure.
But ordinary girls in Shanghai can marry home as long as they have one or two abilities, because they are girls in big cities after all, but they lack that kind of icy arrogance. Marrying home can change all the thoughts at home, and in a sense, it can completely change the ordinary family concept in the next few years or more.
I was very moved when I was invited to Shanghai, but I found that this was not the case. It is good for Shanghai girls to be tall and beautiful, but the gap between north and south is really too big. The main reason for finding that Shanghai girls are not suitable for me is that I want to buy a house locally in Shanghai.
Girls in Shanghai are dignified, beautiful, lively and lovely. Especially in summer, girls' dresses can be seen everywhere in the streets and lanes, leading the fashion trend. They have an indescribable demeanor, some dressed like big ladies, and some dressed with different personalities. It's hard to see girls with normal dress styles.
1. The dress of girls in Shanghai is very different from that of girls in the north. She can't stand marrying home, and neither can my parents. How can I describe it? The older generation doesn't look like a hard-working girl in this dress.
Without proper time, it is difficult to get used to the differences between the north and the south. In the end, I will break up because of my disagreement. If we encounter unhappy things, she will quarrel with us in Shanghai dialect, which is completely inferior and does not reflect our unique advantages in the north. Admitting mistakes is not our style.
3. Dietary differences, there are fried dough sticks, big cakes and hot soup in North China. Shanghainese like to eat pasta, large intestine noodles, scallion noodles and Yangchun noodles for breakfast, while Shanghai's fried noodles are equivalent to local snacks. People who pay attention to health (rich people) like to eat bread and toast with ham and eggs, and have the habit of drinking morning tea.
4. Shanghai people's bride price is too high, generally between1.5 ~ 250 thousand. This is the market for foreigners to marry local girls. In the past, marriage was afraid that the woman would be hurt, so it makes sense to let the man return. You can hold two banquets, which is a test method for ordinary families.
At that time, my classmate's cousin introduced me to her company's colleagues (Shanghai local). We both have good personalities, good academic qualifications and everything, but I chose to let go.
Because our family's conditions are very general, she doesn't want to marry, so she gives me two choices, one is to buy a house locally, and the other is to be a son-in-law. I passed everything. I can't give up a man's dignity just because I am handsome, and I can't give up everything just because I marry her. What's more, I can't buy a house in Shanghai, so I gave up love.
1. Shanghainese like to push the road on Saturday and weekend. If a young man pushes the road, he or she must be in love with each other.
My classmate's cousin worked hard in Shanghai for three years, not only with a successful career, but also with a bumper harvest of love in the third year. At that time, a local boy came to the company and stayed together for more than three months.
After work or holidays, boys ask her to press the road and see the scenery. At that time, my classmate's cousin didn't know what it meant. Later, someone told her that this is a cultural custom in Shanghai. It's because he likes you and you didn't refuse, which means you also want his care.
When entertaining guests, guests must bring gifts. At that time, my cousin's classmates and colleagues confirmed their love relationship and were invited home by the man's parents. She went to visit her elders with gifts.
The man's parents liked his sister very much when they saw that the woman was polite. After asking questions, they opened a table for dinner, but before that, she wanted to clean the living room, but her boyfriend stopped her, saying that she could not clean the room before the guests left, which showed some disrespect to the guests.
During the dinner, the man's parents said that they liked his classmate's cousin very much, and they talked about it as soon as possible. The girl wanted to clear the table after eating, and then her boyfriend stopped her, saying that the culture of Shanghai makes it unnecessary for guests to clean up after dinner.
I feel that Shanghai respects its guests and won't let them be wronged, but in our north, I still feel strange. This is the cultural difference.
1. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along exactly the same everywhere. As long as the daughter-in-law respects her mother-in-law, she will take care of you. People's hearts are all fleshy, and only when they really change their hearts will they know for a long time.
2. Calm down, especially the North-South differences. Many girls who marry in Shanghai don't understand the culture of Shanghai, which will bring about subtle changes and increase the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Only by truly understanding the local environment and culture can they get along with each other emotionally.
3. Know yourself correctly. Some mother-in-law has her own daughter and will definitely be closer to her than you. Only by not letting her husband be in a dilemma can the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law be slowly changed.
Only by deepening our understanding of local culture and the way of the world can we get along well everywhere. My classmate's cousin is an example. From a little girl in the countryside, she completely changed her values.
The development in Shanghai is different, but no matter where you want to go, you should put truth, goodness and beauty first. Finally, I hope everyone can have a good development and a good belonging.
Shanghai is a city of immigrants, with elite and talented people. Therefore, although married to Shanghai, it is more important to marry a family and ask them where they are from.
If the in-laws are from Shandong, then the family mainly talks about the rules and habits of Shandong.
If it's from Jiangsu and Zhejiang, then follow the rules of Jiangsu and Zhejiang.
If my father-in-law is from Shandong and my mother-in-law is from Jiangsu and Zhejiang, then you will find that Shandong pancakes are coated with especially sweet noodle sauce, and there are meat, steamed bread and yellow snails on the table.
There are many families in Shanghai, and the most important thing to enter this environment is to take care of everyone's feelings.
Before you go in, your future mother-in-law will ask your boyfriend, "Where is she from?"
Determine where you are from, and she will prepare what she thinks is a hometown dish, which may not be accurate and not to your liking. But dinner will say that this dish is for you.
This means that she admits that you are a member of their family.
Because, Shanghai families should take care of everyone's taste.
This season, we eat fried rice cakes with June yellow and crabs. If someone in the family likes to eat crabs, another person likes to eat rice cakes with crab noodle sauce, and the other person only eats noodle sauce. You will find a big plate of crab rice cakes on the table, with two small bowls, a bowl of sauce and a bowl of rice cakes on the side.
Everyone is an immigrant, so we should hold a group to keep warm in a foreign country!
When a daughter-in-law cooks, she has to take care of everyone's tastes. If the tastes conflict, she will cook separately. I can't say what I like, so I just do what I like. I like garlic, so I put it on it, but I don't know the rules.
This is the first rule!
Rule number two: the road is refreshing.
This city has a fast pace, so you should speak and do things neatly. Don't be fooled by boasting for face. In the end, it won't work.
One thing to do is to clean it up.
No, just say no.
If you marry in Shanghai, it is inevitable that your family will come to Shanghai to play, if you live in your in-laws' house.
What should we do?
Say hello vaguely? Mom, my family will stay for a few days.
How does this communication work?
The standard answer is: "Mom, how many people in my family will go to Shanghai to do something?" How many days will I spend with them? They can live in our house. Is it convenient? Inconvenient. I'll book a hotel. Can you live? I'll give you 2000 yuan for dinner first. "
Rule 3: Clean.
People are not necessarily beautiful, but they should take a shower and brush their teeth. Personal hygiene is very important.
You don't have to be rich, but you have to clean, sweep the floor and wash the dishes.
During the rainy season in the south of the Yangtze River, all fabrics should be dried, and kitchen rags should be cleaned and hung in a ventilated place every day.
All the pots and pans for eating should be washed and drained.
Generally, an old man looks at his daughter-in-law, not her beauty and family background. When he enters her door, he can see whether there is dust on the ground, whether the oil in the kitchen is big or not, and whether the windows are smooth or not. The children in this family can't be wrong.
Rule 4: Play by the rules.
Be reasonable in everything, don't roll around and cry.
There are laws to follow, within the scope of the law.
There are rules and regulations.
If there are established rules, do it according to them. If the rules are unreasonable, you can propose corrections.
But I still follow the rules until I correct them.
There is an iron law, entrusted by people, to undertake a task must end people's career,
I refused to take the job, agreed, and finally failed.
Shanghai gives such people the nickname "Uncle Wang". Once you have this nickname, it will be difficult to move your social circle in the future.
Don't talk nonsense if you don't understand anything beautiful, exquisite and proud!
When a girl marries in Shanghai, she has to support her small family in the future. Shanghai's mother-in-law won't help you, at best, she will help you occasionally. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in Shanghai is different from other places. The average mother-in-law will not interfere in her daughter-in-law's life. As long as you think it's appropriate, even if your mother-in-law doesn't like it, at most, you should remind her or ignore it. My son is married, and going out with his parents is like running away from relatives. Help each other when they meet occasionally. At other times, each has its own place, and there won't be too much overlap, which is completely different from other places in China.
How do mother-in-law and daughter-in-law get along? First of all, the son should have a certain position in the family, and the son loves his wife, so that the girl will be more comfortable to marry in this family. Second, the woman can give her daughter confidence. Third, your daughter is excellent. She can earn money to support her family or earn as much as her husband. Don't take your mother-in-law too seriously, get along normally, respect your in-laws and love yourself.
No matter how enthusiastic the mother-in-law is, she should keep her distance and respect each other. Mother-in-law's help is not an obligation, but a need for gratitude. Don't think that you can take care of her for her own good. You can't change when you are old. You can only let her go. Live your own life and leave her alone.
Don't marry a husband-in-law who is a little embarrassed.
After staying in Shanghai for five years, the city has developed too fast, the pace is too fast, and there are fewer people. It seems that people must meet with a purpose, otherwise it is a waste of time. It is a city that only looks at the performance and not the process.
Most foreign girls who marry Shanghainese have a hard time. Some couples in Shanghai have a very enlightened AA lifestyle. Even if the husband and wife buy a store online, they will not fight for the courier fee and buy their own. 10 Most online shopping will not be included! All expenses can be accurate to the point that a box of milk in the refrigerator is made of AA.
One of my favorite pictures is that when crossing the traffic lights, grandpa will stop, wait for grandma to catch up, and hold her hand and walk slowly. Sometimes when you are unhappy, seeing this scene will make you cry.
There are also places that don't like Shanghainese. The superiority of the city is too strong.
Every city has its own story, which touches your warmth.
The customs of marriage in cities and suburbs are completely different. Ask more friends and colleagues around you, learn from everyone's dress, daily conversation and living habits, and integrate into your husband's family as soon as possible, so you can have a very relaxed and happy life.
It's best not to live with your in-laws when you get married in Shanghai. Cultural differences and living habits are hard to change. There is a saying that a leopard cannot change his spots. If you don't live with your in-laws, you can be a husband and enjoy the feeling of being a queen, which can be very cool. Of course, it's best to act like a little woman in front of your in-laws.