World taboo department
Author: game master compilation
Open the way of God.
When King Kong met the Pathfinder, he said enviously, "You and I grew up together. How could it be so delicious as you?" God said, "brother, I don't know. I just want to get some words and ears." If you wear it, it's not good at all You peel off a layer of shame and you are covered in pieces. "
import brain
Suzhou people are good at sucking up to senior officials. Hirata said to his master, "I am willing to replace my death with my son." One day, the doctor said, "I am terminally ill, and the medical stone can't be cured. Only when the stranger's brain is filled with medicine can I be saved." It's everywhere. There's nothing. Suddenly he realized, "generally, someone claims to be willing to die, so why bother?" Call me at once and tell me why. But he was frightened and said, "Oh, I can't get it. My Suzhou people have never had a brain. "
earthworm
Wang boasted, "I am excellent in everything, chinese odyssey." One person said, "There is only one thing like this." When asked what it was, he replied, "Cricket." Q: "Why do you like him?" He said, "Kill without blood, cut without meat. Grow as long as you want. If you want to be short, you can sing. "
gradually
The helper stayed with his wife for dinner all night and suddenly smiled and said, "I will use the word' cooked' all my life. Look at the big old officer, which one is unfamiliar; Who doesn't know you well, little girl? On a cruise ship, which one is strange? Who is not familiar with the opera singer? Who is not familiar with the friends who play the flute and sing? " Before I finished, my wife suddenly got scared. The man asked the reason and said, "Damn it! Since you are familiar with everything, why don't you redeem my new year's shirt for me? "
Live for a thousand years
A guest called a noble man and said, "I dreamed of living for a thousand years last night." The noble man said, "It is ominous to dream of life and death." The man suddenly said, "Hello! I said it was terrible. It was Meng Gong who died for a thousand years. "
Fart fragrance
If someone pays tribute to the noble, the noble will occasionally fart and say, "Where is Xiangxiang?" The noble said with shame, "I smell fart as valley gas, and stink as right." Today's anti-fragrance is not a good sign. "The man immediately sniffed with his hand and said," It stinks a little now. "
Hit the seat
Rats associate with otters. The mouse invited the otter first. The otter answered the table, invited the rats to cross the river and stayed for food. Suddenly a cat saw it and tried to catch it. The mouse panicked and said, "I didn't see what I invited, but the food came back."
* * * Pain
Hemp flies and green flies are brothers. The green fly led the hemp fly to a banquet. The hemp fly was so drunk that it was caught by the page. Insert the bamboo stick into * * *, overshoot, hit him with a stick, and get away in half a day. When I met the blue fly, I cried and said, "I owe you a lot of food, but it hurts badly."
Dream in a dream
Prostitutes and guests meet after a long separation and miss each other. Prostitute cloud: "I don't dream of eating, sleeping and playing with you every night. It's all wishful thinking." The guest said, "I dream, too." The prostitute asked, "What about the dream?" The guest said, "I dreamed that you didn't dream of me."
Annual contraction
A businessman goes whoring and asks for his juvenile geometry. The prostitute said, "Eighteen." Over the years, businessmen have lost money in business, but they still go to their homes to prostitute themselves. When asked about the year, he said, "Seventeen." A few years later, I went to his house and asked him, and then I said, "Sixteen." The businessman burst into tears. The prostitute asked why? He said: "Your age is similar to my capital, and it is getting less and less. I am not sad to think of it here. "
Father, once again.
Zi likes visiting brothels. His father said, "You useless beast, I visited brothels ten times, but I saw you nine times.". "So, you give me another chance, and then you scold me?" "
Guidu
A gentleman wanted to cross the river, but he didn't have a ferry. Suddenly, I saw a chinemys reevesii, and the scholar said, "Brother Tortoise, please cross me over and I will sing a poem to thank you." The tortoise said, "Sing before crossing the road." The scholar said, "Don't be fooled by you. How about saying a few words first? " The tortoise said, "Make." The scholar said, "If you wear gossip in the Nine Palaces, the Dragon Kings of the Four Seas will be afraid." The tortoise is very happy, just crossing the river. The scholar went on to say, "I am a man in clothes and don't answer the tortoise."
Xinlei palace
Lei Gong wanted to punish his disobedient son. His son took his hand and said, "Wait a minute. I ask you, is it the new tripterygium wilfordii or the old tripterygium wilfordii? " Lei Gong said, "What is it?" The humanitarian said, "If it were the new Lei Gong, I would have died long ago. If it was the old tripterygium wilfordii, my dad betrayed my dad. Where have you been? "
Jiaochengmen
It is best to sing a song alone. He came back late to visit relatives, and the city gate was closed. Tell him to open the door. The doorman said, "If you sing a song, I'll let you in." The man said, "If you sing, just sing. Just me. You have to promise. " The doorman said, "It's up to you." The man said Baiyun first: "Call Zhou Cang!" The city should say, "Oh." "Grandpa is outside the city. Not welcome yet! " Replied: "Oh." The man said, "How dare you ask me to sing when you know that Guan Ye is going to open the door outside the city?"
Negative language
One Weng has no children, and three husbands live together. In a newly built hall, my husband should not knock at the door when he comes home drinking, scolding why he closed the door so early! Angry, Weng called his second son-in-law to complain: "I spent a lot of money on this house, and it was not easy to earn it." The unfavorable words are very hateful. " The second son-in-law said, "This house is only worth 500 gold." The angrier Weng gets. Also called the third son-in-law to describe it. Three old ladies said, "Even if you persuade Abel to sell 500 gold, it's not worth a fart to have a skyfire."
Eat wild leaves
Diners are very poor, so they have no food in the morning, so they cook and eat. Later, I went to the rich man's table. Drinking too much hollow wine will make you fat, but the leaves will become ugly. Afraid of being laughed at, he said, "It's weird. When I eat boiled soup in the morning, I don't use much lotus seed soup. How does the small lotus leaf grow fast? "
Focus on ghosts
A group of people met a funeral in their spare time. There was a ghost king in front of them, thinking that the old officials were also very respectful. After a while, it rained heavily. And the paper clothes on the ghost were washed away by the rain. Han, an idle man, said, "In broad daylight, I only know that I am an old official, but I turned out to be a pawn."
Pharyngeal bran
As soon as I was free, I swallowed my bran and came out. Suddenly I met an old official and stayed at home for breakfast. Answer: "sometimes I am too full to eat dog meat." I want to drink a few cups. " I suddenly vomited when I drank it, and the bran came out. Independence. He asked in surprise, "You said you ate dog meat. Why do you want to vomit? " He has been glaring for a long time. "Hey, I ate dog meat myself. The dog must have eaten bran."
Old white elephant
It is worthwhile for the government to send porridge to the mysterious temple. Idle Han said privately, "I'm waiting for fresh clothes and delicious food." If I eat it today, it will make people laugh. " Russia has delayed for a long time. But I'm hungry. He said, "If you treat hungry people, you can do it later." People are scattered from afar, and porridge is gone. So it means pulling porridge between cauldrons. When the Taoist saw this, he asked, "We are white-eared fishermen."
Hmm. How interesting
A group of idle people praised the old official for his integrity. The man said, "There you go again."
Nigaoqiang
Swallows build nests with dirt in their mouths and take it away from earthworms. The earthworm was furious and said, "You want to build a high wall with mud, why do you want to bring me bad luck?" Yan Ziyun: "It's all your fault."
Curse of urinal
A servant's envoy, vulgar words in the nose. Nose also, out of chamber pot. He told his master, "Dad, I just peed on the tortoise and scolded me. I also yelled at my aunt. " The master said, "Nonsense! How can a turtle curse? " The messenger said, "At first, I was scolded for my nose, and then I was repeatedly scolded:' nose, nose, nose.' Don't you scold dad in there? "
Play finger guessing.
The client had a good relationship with the prostitute and died together. Since there are two glasses of wine, the prostitute lets the guests drink first, and the guests finish because of the prostitute's push. The prostitute stretched out her fist and said, "My measure is very narrow, so I will spare you."
Hold your head.
A good gambler can't live without all his furniture. Hang yourself with a rope. Suddenly I saw a ghost on the beam and said, "Get the head quickly." The man said, "It's a pity that you opened your mouth. Lost this position, you come to me for a head! "
Grab the head
According to your interview. Chen Zhongzi, Qi and others were arrested. Kuang has confidence in his dutiful son and Chen Qingke, both of whom are Dont Ask For Help. Qi people have wives and concubines, and they are fed to the presenter. The program came to see you, and according to you, the crimes of these three people are leaders who corrupt customs, so I visited them. The Oracle said, "Zhang Kuang became a wife, Zhong Zi left his mother to avoid his brother, and the old man caught him just right. That Qi man is the leader of the Beggars' Sect. What do you want to catch him for? "
Daylight ghost
The mage walked to the altar and ate at the mouth of the flame. It was almost dawn, and I was about to go to bed when I saw a group of hungry ghosts wearing shackles and mutilated hands and feet begging. The teacher asked, "What is Shi Yang's physiology and what is the result?" As the saying goes, "they are all liars, mediators and conspirators." He also asked, "Why don't you come and share French food in the evening?" Answer: "our class one is a ghost."
Fenzitou
A man has been a leader all his life, embezzling other people's money and wealth, being hated by his face after his death and suffering in a dark hell. As soon as he entered the prison, he said, "here you are, you can't see the sun." Why don't you make a copy and open a skylight! "
Go through or climb over a wall (for robbery)
When a scholar was reading a book at night, he saw a sound on the wall of the thief's hole. When the soup was boiling in the stove, he held it up and waited. And the wall goes through, the thief enters first with his foot, so the scholar grabs his leg and allows him to fill it with boiling soup. When the thief begged for an explanation, the scholar said calmly, "I dare not compliment, just make this pot."
compensation
The tiger wants to eat and says, "I'm too young to chew." There are monsters in the front mountain, which is worth a hearty meal. Please guide it forward. "When we reached the front of the mountain, a deer in a corner saw it, and it spit on itself, which was very suspicious. But he shouted, "you little monkey, give me twelve tiger skins." I only brought one today, and eleven others? "The tiger fled in shock and scolded," I don't believe this little monkey is so hateful, but you want to turn me over to offset the old scores! " "
play the trumpet
Happy people go home at night, and when they see thieves digging holes on the road, they will plug in the horn and blow. I was surprised to catch up with him. When he met a thief, he asked Yun, "Have you ever seen a trumpet player?"
Give up dog meat
Beggars quit eating dog meat, and beggars advised, "No need." Said, "I haven't eaten for a long time." People say, "You quit him, but he didn't quit you."
Sick leg
A beggar was lying on his back in the city with his sick leg rotten. The dog saw it, and the beggar said, "Bastard. It must be your mouth. Why are you so impatient! "
Be a servant
Some people seek asylum as servants. He said to himself, "I will never kick down the ladder in my life and refuse to retreat." Live when you see food. "The master is very satisfied with this. One day, the messenger twisted the river mud and said, "I said no ferry." He also asked it to transplant rice seedlings and said, "I said I wouldn't back down." The host was very angry. When he finished eating, he could not stop. It's the language of "eating and living". The man said to his master, "Have you ever seen a meal in your throat? "
translate
Author: anonymous
Open the way of God.
King Kong met the Pathfinder and said enviously, "I am as tall as you, but I don't eat and wear as well as you." The pathfinder replied, "Brother, you don't know, I just want to enjoy my stomach." . If you wear it, you can't do it at all. Strip away a layer of shame and you will be covered in pieces. "
import brain
There is a Suzhou native who likes to kiss up to the rich. He usually says to his master, "If I have to die for you, I will." One day, the master was ill, and the doctor looked at it and said, "The disease has gone deep into the internal organs, and it can't be cured by taking medicine and injections." Only with the brains of the living can it be saved. " The master sent people everywhere to look for the brains of the living, but they couldn't find them. Suddenly I remembered, "Someone always said that he would die for me, and he would never give up a brain, right?" So he called the man in a hurry and explained the reason for calling him. The man was surprised and said, "Oh, that's impossible. We Suzhou people have never had a brain. "
earthworm
There is a man who makes a living by waiting for rich people to play, boasting about his skills and saying, "I am proficient in everything, and no one in the world can match me." A person listened and said, "There is only one person like you." When asked what it was, he replied, "Cricket." He asked why he was like him, and replied, "Kill him without blood, and cut him without meat. If you want to be long, you can be short, you can sing and please people. "
gradually
A helper was having a reunion dinner with his wife on New Year's Eve when he suddenly smiled proudly and said, "I will never enjoy the word' cooked' in my life. Look at the rich uncle. Who doesn't know him well? Whore * * *, which one is unfamiliar? On a cruise ship, which one is strange? Who is not familiar with singing opera? Who is the friend who plays the flute and sings? " Before he finished, his wife burst into tears. Asked why he was crying, his wife said, "Damn it, since you know everything, why didn't I redeem my New Year dress from the pawnshop?"
Live for a thousand years
A guest who loves to flatter his host said to him, "I dreamed last night that you lived for a thousand years." The host said, "I'm afraid it's unlucky to die in a dream." The man quickly changed his tune and said, "bah, I was wrong." I dreamed that you had been dead for a thousand years. "
Fart fragrance
Men like to flatter rich and powerful people. The rich man accidentally farted, and the man immediately said, "Where did you get the southern incense?" The rich man said uneasily, "I heard that fart is the gas of five grains, and it is normal to stink. Now it smells good, which is probably not a good sign." The man immediately took a breath in the air with his hand and said, "It stinks a little now."
Hit the seat
Mice and otters make friends. The mouse invited the otter to dinner first, and then the otter gave a banquet to thank the mouse. When the mouse crossed the river, the otter went to find something to eat temporarily. Suddenly, a cat saw the mouse, and it rushed to catch it. The mouse is very afraid. As he ran, he said, "Please, I can't see it, but I'm eating."
* * * Pain
Hemp flies and green flies become sworn brothers. One day, the green fly led the way and took the hemp fly to dinner. The fly ate and drank, only to be caught by the servant. The servant stung the fly with a bamboo stick, and tied the other end to the lamp grass to let the fly fly. It took a long time for the fly to break free. When Ma Fei saw Qing Fei, he cried and said to him, "Thank you for leading the way. I have everything to eat, but * * * hurts badly. "
Dream in a dream
* * * Customers who meet again after a long separation tell their love for each other. * * * said, "I didn't dream of eating, sleeping and playing with you all night. This is because I miss you so much. " The client said, "I dreamed about you, too." * * * asked, "What did you dream about?" The client said, "I dreamed that you didn't dream of me."
Annual contraction
A businessman went to a brothel and met a girl who asked her how old she was. She said, "Eighteen." A few years later, the businessman lost money in business, passed by the brothel and met the * * *, * * who had long forgotten him. The merchant asked * * * about his age, and * * replied, "Seventeen." A few years later, the businessman came to the brothel and asked how old that * * * was, and * * * replied, "Sixteen." Suddenly, the businessman kept crying and asked him why he was crying. The businessman said, "Your age is the same as my capital, and it is getting less and less. Do you think you can not be sad? "
Father, once again.
My son likes visiting brothels, so his father scolded him: "You worthless beast, I have been to brothels ten times, but I have seen you nine times!" " "The son replied," So, you are one more time than me, why do you want to scold me instead? "
Guidu
A scholar wanted to cross the river, but because there was no ferry, he was in a hurry. Suddenly, he saw a tortoise. The scholar said, "Brother Tortoise, please take me across the river. I'll make a poem to thank you for crossing the river. " The tortoise said, "Write a poem first, and then scratch you." The scholar said, "Don't lie to me, or I'll sing a few words first, okay?" The tortoise said, "Yes." The scholar intoned, "The Dragon King of the Four Seas is also afraid of wearing the Nine Palaces and Eight Diagrams." The tortoise was very happy and crossed the river with the scholar on his back. The scholar crossed the river and added two more sentences: "I am a man in clothes and don't answer turtles."
Xinlei palace
Lei Gong wants to beat his unfilial son. The unfilial son took Lei Gong's hand and said, "Wait a minute. Let me ask you first, are you a new tripterygium wilfordii or an old tripterygium wilfordii? " Lei Gong said, "What do you mean?" The unfilial son said, "If it is the new Lei Gong, I should be killed. If it's old Lei Gong, then my father is not filial to my grandfather. Where have you been? "
Jiaochengmen
There is a person who likes singing very much. He came back late from visiting relatives, and the city gate was closed, so he went forward to call the door. The man guarding the city gate said, "You sing a song and I'll listen to it, and I'll let you in." The singer said, "If you sing, you will agree when I sing." The doorman said, "All right." The singer first said in plain English, "Call Zhou Cang!" The city promised: "Ga!" The singer read again: "Grandpa Guan is out of town, why don't you see him soon?" The gatekeeper promised again: "Ga!" The singer said, "Now that you know that Grandpa Guan is out of town, open the door quickly. How dare you ask me to sing? "
Negative language
There was an old man who had no son but three daughters and lived with three sons-in-law. The old man built a new house. When his eldest son-in-law came back from drinking and no one answered the door, he cursed why he closed the door so early. The old man was very angry and said to his second son-in-law, "I spent a lot of money to build this house, and it was not easy to earn it." It is really hateful to say such unlucky things. " The second son-in-law said, "If this house is sold, it will only cost 500 gold at most." The old man was even more angry and called his third son-in-law to talk about it. The third son-in-law said, "Even if it's 500 gold, I'll advise you to sell it, or it won't be worth a fart if it is set on fire."
Eat wild leaves
There was a poor diner who cooked a pot of shepherd's purse for dinner without food in the morning. Later, I went to a rich man's house. After a while, the rich man invited him to dinner. Because there was no rice in my stomach and I drank too much hollow wine, I vomited and spit out shepherd's purse leaves. Afraid that others would laugh at him, he pointed to shepherd's purse and said, "I drank lotus seed soup this morning and didn't eat a few lotus seeds. It's really strange. How can a small lotus leaf grow so fast? "
Focus on ghosts
A helper met a family on the way to the funeral. There was a ghost king in front of him, thinking that he was an old official, and his worship was very humble. After a while, it began to rain, and it rained heavily, and the paper clothes on Jiao Gui were poured out by the rain. The lazy man said, "Hell, I only know that I am an old official during the day, but I turned out to be a chess piece."
Pharyngeal bran
An idle man went out after eating bran and suddenly met an old official who left the idle man at home for breakfast. Xian Han replied, "I just ate too much dog meat, so I can't eat any more." You can have a few drinks if you have wine. " After drinking it, I suddenly vomited, and all the bran was spit out. The host was surprised to see this and asked, "You said you ate dog meat, why did you spit out bran?" Han, who was idle, stared at him for a long time and replied, "Hey, I ate dog meat myself. That dog must have eaten chaff."
Old white elephant
In the famine year, the idle Han people had nowhere to eat, and it happened that the government distributed rice porridge in the mysterious temple. The idle Han people secretly discussed and said, "On weekdays, we all wear delicious food. Going there to eat porridge today will be laughed at. " After a long time, he was very hungry and said, "We will go with the hungry people when they are full." The idle Han people went when they saw the hungry people dispersed, but the porridge was gone, so they dug up the leftover porridge in the pot spoon with their fingers. When the Taoist priest saw them, he asked them what they did. The idle man replied, "We used to make money from each other."
Hmm. How interesting
A helper saw the old official square and round, full of praise. The man said, "There you go again."
Nigaoqiang
Swallows build nests with dirt in their mouths and take it away from earthworms. The earthworm was very angry and said, "You should use mud as the top wall. Why rob me of the mud and make me unlucky? " The swallow replied, "It's all your fault."
Curse of urinal
In a local dialect, servants are called noses. One day, the servant emptied the urinal, and when he came back, he complained to his master, "Dad, the urinal just scolded me and dad." The host said, "Nonsense, how can a urinal curse?" The servant said, "At first, it scolded my nose, and then it repeatedly scolded me:' nose, nose, nose'. Didn't it scold my father inside?"
Play finger guessing.
One John was very close to * * * and agreed to die together. Soon, two glasses of wine were brought up, and * * * let the parties drink first. After drinking, they advised * * * to drink, and * * * raised his fist and said, "I'm short, so I'll give you this cup."
Hold your head.
There was a gambler who lost all his money and could not live any longer, so he hanged himself with a rope. Suddenly I found a ghost on the beam of the house. The ghost said, "Go and get the head." The man said, "Thanks to your asking, I lost to this point and still want my head."
Grab the head
According to your interview, Chen Zhongzi, Qi and others were all arrested. Zhang Kuang thinks he is a dutiful son, while Chen Zhongzi thinks he is a diner, so neither of them intercedes or pays bribes. Only when Qi people have wives and concubines do they pay bribes to powerful people and ask them to dredge them up. To this end, the prominent figure went to see you, and you described the crimes of those three people. They were all criminals who corrupted customs, so he went to visit and arrested them. The prophet said, "Zhang Kuang abandoned his wife, while Zhong Zi left his mother to avoid his brother. You were right to catch your ancestors. But that Qi man is a beggar's head. What do you want to catch him for? "
Daylight ghost
The mage boarded the Buddhist altar, recited Buddhist language, and gave food and drink to the ghost. It was almost dawn when the mage was about to go to bed when he saw a group of hungry ghosts with broken hands and feet coming to ask for food. The mage asked, "What are you doing among the dead, receiving such a bad punishment?" The hungry ghost said, "They are all liars, insurance companies, and they run casinos to harm people." The mage asked again, "Why don't you come and get the French food together at night?" The hungry ghost replied, "We are all daytime ghosts."
Fenzitou
There was a man who had been a boss all his life and stole other people's money. After his death, he was sent to a dark hell to suffer because Yan people hated him. After entering the hell, Fu Tou immediately said, "You are here, you can't see the sun. Why don't everyone give a copy and open a skylight? "
Go through or climb over a wall (for robbery)
A man was reading a book at night and heard a thief digging a wall. At this time, the boiling water in the furnace was boiling, so I lifted the kettle and stared at the place where the wall was dug. When the wall was dug through, the thief put his foot in first, and the man immediately pressed his leg and slowly poured boiling water on the thief's leg. The thief cried for mercy, and the man calmly said to the thief, "I dare not compliment him too much, just pour a pot."
compensation
The tiger wants to eat the monkey, and the monkey says, "My body is too small for you to eat. There is a monster on the mountain ahead, which is enough for you to have a full meal. I can take you. " The lynx brought the tiger to the front of the mountain. When a wildebeest saw them, it suspected that the tiger was going to eat itself. He roared, "You little lynx, you promised to give me twelve tiger skins, and now you only have one, and there are eleven more!" " When the tiger heard this, he was very scared and ran away. He scolded: "I didn't expect this little monkey to be so hateful, and he wanted to turn me over to offset the old account."
play the trumpet
An accompanist came home at night and found a hole dug by a thief on the wall, so he playfully inserted the horn into the hole and blew it for a while. After the master noticed it, he came out to chase it. He met a thief and asked, "Have you ever seen a trumpet player?"
Give up dog meat
There was a little beggar who stopped eating dog meat. Beggars advised him, "You shouldn't give up eating dog meat." The little beggar said, "I haven't eaten dog meat for a long time." The beggar said, "If you don't eat it, it won't eat you."
Sick leg
There was a little beggar in the market, with broken legs and lying on his back. Dogs vomit when they see rotten legs. The little beggar said, "beast, you have to eat in your mouth, so why worry!" " "
Be a servant
?
A man was looking for a job as a servant, claiming that he would never ferry, refused to retreat, and lived (stopped) at the sight of food. The owner of a family happily hired him. One day, the master asked him to twist the river mud, but the servant refused to say, "I said I don't ferry." The master asked him to transplant rice again, and the servant replied, "I said I wouldn't back down." The host was very angry. Seeing him eating and always walking, he rebuked his servant for opening his mouth and said to his master, "Look, can you see food in your throat?"
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