A friend around me is not handsome but comfortable to get along with. When he was in junior high school, he could rubber band, cross stitch and knit a sweater. Maybe I'm a woman who doesn't know these girly things, so I'm closer to him. His grades are always so good, and the only thing close to me is that he always rushes to the front when eating. Unlike me, he doesn't want to waste time waiting in line.

High school was also the focus of the city, and his class was the only liberal arts express in the whole grade. After going to college, we have little contact, mostly eating together in the summer vacation, and he will also change our lives. In college, he still got up at six to read English, joined English clubs and other clubs, and got along well.

His family is not well off, and it is also an ordinary family in the countryside. The cost of learning English for one week can cover our tuition for one semester, and then his family will send him to the United States as an exchange student. When I saw his video in a circle of friends, I couldn't speak perfect English. But when we come back for dinner together, he will gradually have a few drinks with us, feeling that he is still the same, just a little humorous.

When he graduated from college, he learned from other friends that he went to a good unit and even gave up graduate school. Although he doesn't know what his future life will be like, his present life is what he wants.

You envy those civil servants who work nine to five in state-owned enterprises and foreign enterprises, with double holidays, five insurances and one gold. While people are working in the library from morning till night in college, you are playing games and shopping online. You should indulge in youth, and you haven't even read a set of questions or a professional book seriously. I paid tuition for four years and lived for four years. When looking for a job, I found that I could do nothing but some manual labor with strong substitution. When you are tired and backache, you complain that life is terrible.

You also envy those students who dropped out of school early to work. Now they buy a house and a car, and their careers are booming. They do spa, go shopping and travel every day.

You envy their infinite scenery, but you refuse to take the road they have taken. You are always too bored when you brush the questions, too tired when you go out to work, and always feel risky when you start a business. You want everything, but you don't want to give anything Finally, it comes down to luck, constellation and family. I don't know if you're asking now.

The current feelings are not what you want, but you must have asked for them.

Another friend, Xiao, met her current boyfriend in high school. For so many years, two people have been on and off, and people around them have long been used to it. Boyfriend is neither Mr. Zuo who always cares about her and encourages her to warm her heart, nor the only thrill who will help her do everything.

On the contrary, in our opinion, her boyfriend is not so good-tempered. Sometimes two people quarrel and even yell at her or throw things. There is a lot of intimacy between the two lovers, and there is no photo taken with them. The reason is that he said he didn't like taking pictures. Two people will not hold hands outside, and he will not show that he has a girlfriend on any social platform. She won't be coaxed when she is angry.

He won't do anything for her, she will wash clothes and cook for him. Even if she has a stomachache, he won't look twice.

Two people quarreled for three days and quarreled for two days. Every time she bowed her head, regardless of her grievances and sadness, begging him to make up. She is also tired of such feelings, and she is even more afraid that the following feelings will be worse.

In a quarrel, she broke up, and the man was so angry that he pinched her neck and thought that they would die together. Since he can't have you, he won't let you be with other men.

Although the current relationship is not what she wants, she certainly asked for it. When a man yells at you for the first time, he doesn't choose to end this relationship, but humbly asks for love from others. The more humble and shameless you are, the less he cherishes you.

A friend, little C, is also the first love. When she found out that her boyfriend was having an affair with another woman, she knew that even if she stopped. Although she is as painful as every girl when breaking up, she knows better where her bottom line is, what kind of feelings she wants and what kind of lover she wants. It is painful to be apart now, and it is a lifelong pain not to meet.

Now she is still beautiful and free and easy, and she has gained a boyfriend who loves her more and an enlightened and beautiful "prospective mother-in-law". Treat her like a prostitute, or even two people joke like girlfriends, which makes people around envy her.

Emotion is just a container, it only determines the form, but the quality is in your own hands. You have no bottom line and no principle, and the other party will only push your luck step by step.

Similarly, what kind of person you are, you can attract what kind of people. Sloppy means doing nothing, being lazy and expecting a handsome boyfriend who only loves you. That's a daydream.

Any relationship is equal. Only by getting better and better first can we get out of the current circle and filter out those love rat step by step. Even if you can't choose to be with better people, at least you can choose not to be with anyone.

Your present job is not what you want, but you must have asked for it.

When I just graduated from college, everyone around me went to graduate school, took an examination of civil servants and went to work in state-owned enterprises. I look confused and don't know where to go, how to find a job and how to rent a house. Because I was always in a daze when I was in college, I knew nothing about professional courses. I don't have any special social experience and skills, let alone get a scholarship every year. Relatives at home introduced a bunch of jobs, but they didn't want to go. Either the jobs were too low or they were too far away and tired. This is a disease that must be treated.

There is no job that is not tiring, and there is no job that can easily get a high salary. Everything comes from hard work and persistence. When you are playing games after work, others practice ppT hard at home and make a boutique PPT; When you are having fun at school, others brush one set of questions in the library. Is it boring? It's really boring, but now everyone else has got what they want, and you're still standing still.

If all this is not what you want, have you tried to change it? Have you thought about what to do?

I have tried many ways to change, but I always give up halfway. I made various study plans and spent a lot of time managing the app, but I was always interrupted by various things and couldn't stick to it. Therefore, some people will, like me, arrange their trips and work full every day, but still don't feel the harvest. Because we just filled up the time and didn't pay attention to it.

Time is beyond our control, but attention is within our control.

First of all, we should focus on where we can grow. For example, focus on learning a skill that can be accumulated for your own use through time. Maybe you can't get instant rewards and satisfaction like playing games, but with the deepening of your study, its influence on you will multiply. You can make little progress every day, but you must make sure that you make progress every day and spend meaningful time.

Secondly, put time on "true love". Only by putting your time into what you really love can you achieve maximum efficiency and get the greatest satisfaction from what you love most, thus stimulating your next efforts. If you focus on things that you are not interested in or even hate, you will always give up halfway and get frustrated again and again. After a long time, you are not interested in anything.

Now everything is not what you want, because you waste your attention on the completion of time allocation, instead of focusing on things that can make you grow.

Pay attention to your own growth, and you are the manager. Only those who manage themselves well can have the capital to choose the life they want.